A Firm Atheist Heads Back To Church
By summerbreeze ~
I've been attending a new Mega-Church here in my town for a while now.
This is not the former Mega-Church that I had previously attended, it's a newly-formed non-denominational church now housed in a previous gigantic athletic club with thousands of members, and millions of dollars worth of renovations.
It was a while back that I decided to start lying to my Husband.
He had gone thru about 6 mos. of tests and interviews to finally get the diagnosis that he was a victim of Agent Orange. (He had done two tours in Vietnam )... He was declared 100% disabled with so many health issues, I couldn't count.
Very soon after the diagnosis, I told him that I had had second thoughts about being a non-believer....that I now believed in God and Heaven. He seemed very relieved, even recommending a church that a lot of people he knew raved about. He had never been a church-goer, but was a solid believer.
He has so little to cling to these days: on oxygen 24 hours a day and talking a lot about his Dad, who died 30 years ago.
This turn-about with his health happened very quickly, it was only last summer that he was mowing the lawn and whistling.
Going back to church services seems all too surreal for me, it's almost like being in the Twilight Zone.Going back to church services seems all too surreal for me, it's almost like being in the Twilight Zone. I'm glad that the place is so huge that I can be a little fish in a big pond. I vowed that I would not serve on any committees...no women's groups or bible study groups and no prayer-circles.
Just hussle in on Sundays, then head for the car after the service.
Last Sunday's service was all about Heaven. Mike's face had a soft glow, and I knew that he was thankful that he would see his Dad, then eventually much later see the girls and Grandkids ( and maybe even me ).
I of course am the same 'ol Atheist that I have been, and it's very hard for me to smile and sit thru the rubbish that is being spewed out, but when I observe the peace that comes over my Husband, during those services, I know that in life there are times that we have to bite the bullet, and pretend for the greater good.
I'm typing this with tears in my eyes.....sometimes I wish that there really WAS a Heaven. But I know better, and just have to keep reminding myself that it's what you do in your life, and how you treat people in the here and now that really matters, because time is precious and this is all we have.
This is not the former Mega-Church that I had previously attended, it's a newly-formed non-denominational church now housed in a previous gigantic athletic club with thousands of members, and millions of dollars worth of renovations.
It was a while back that I decided to start lying to my Husband.
He had gone thru about 6 mos. of tests and interviews to finally get the diagnosis that he was a victim of Agent Orange. (He had done two tours in Vietnam )... He was declared 100% disabled with so many health issues, I couldn't count.
Very soon after the diagnosis, I told him that I had had second thoughts about being a non-believer....that I now believed in God and Heaven. He seemed very relieved, even recommending a church that a lot of people he knew raved about. He had never been a church-goer, but was a solid believer.
He has so little to cling to these days: on oxygen 24 hours a day and talking a lot about his Dad, who died 30 years ago.
This turn-about with his health happened very quickly, it was only last summer that he was mowing the lawn and whistling.
Going back to church services seems all too surreal for me, it's almost like being in the Twilight Zone.Going back to church services seems all too surreal for me, it's almost like being in the Twilight Zone. I'm glad that the place is so huge that I can be a little fish in a big pond. I vowed that I would not serve on any committees...no women's groups or bible study groups and no prayer-circles.
Just hussle in on Sundays, then head for the car after the service.
Last Sunday's service was all about Heaven. Mike's face had a soft glow, and I knew that he was thankful that he would see his Dad, then eventually much later see the girls and Grandkids ( and maybe even me ).
I of course am the same 'ol Atheist that I have been, and it's very hard for me to smile and sit thru the rubbish that is being spewed out, but when I observe the peace that comes over my Husband, during those services, I know that in life there are times that we have to bite the bullet, and pretend for the greater good.
I'm typing this with tears in my eyes.....sometimes I wish that there really WAS a Heaven. But I know better, and just have to keep reminding myself that it's what you do in your life, and how you treat people in the here and now that really matters, because time is precious and this is all we have.
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