How Catholicism/Christianity Harmed Me

By Being Human ~

So, it's been a while since I last posted anything. I've decided not to come out to parents yet, but I think I'm going to wait. This isn't me being scared or anything, it's more of a respect thing. I figure that I'm still living under their roof, and if they want me to go to church once a week with them, it's not that big of a deal. I would do this if I was living with people from other religions as well. Now, if I'm fortunate enough to find a girl and get married, I'll start telling them more about what I actually believe in. I think it's pretty stupid having to get marriage advice from people who've never been married, or have had sex before.

So, this is the update. As I've been going through my journey, I've been experience more freedom than ever before. However, I've been experiencing more anger than ever before. Maybe this isn't such a contradiction. Once I realized the freedom I missed out on, I begin to realize how much fun life could have been if I didn't believe in Bronze Age ideals. Some of you may have experienced this, and I'd like to hear if you have.

I realized before how messed up my view on the world was. I also believe that some of the teachings of Christianity have seriously screwed me over. When I commit to something, I have a habit of going all out. This ended up where I was extremely devoted to the Catholic faith. Some parts of Christianity are really bad, but Catholicism can be worse in a lot of ways. It's still makes me laugh how Christians always point to other religions, but never their own. I've touched on some of this before, but I'd like to go through some of the things I've discovered.

If you didn't know, I have OCD and anxiety. Don't get me wrong, I do believe there were other factors involved, but I think religion played a huge part. I also get that many aren't as easily swayed by the teachings either, but I was. There's a prayer that goes, “In my thoughts, and in my words, what I have done, and what I have failed to do.” I mean, how am I supposed to control my thoughts to that extent? I think this may have been a trigger to starting most of my racing thoughts. When you're told that you're going to Hell for every little thing, it's hard not to take it seriously. So, I believe that when I tried to control my thoughts to stop from sinning, it started a vicious cycle. Not sure if I'm the only one who this has happened to, I just wanted to get your opinion.

Anxiety:

I'm a lot better now, but I'm still trying to forgive and forget.Many people have anxiety. Some of it's caused naturally, other times it's caused by stress in life. I think a lot of the teachings of Christianity can lead to anxiety. Think of how many times Hell is used in the most gruesome ways imaginable? Many children are brought up into Christianity as soon as they can speak, and a lot even before then. These messages keep drilling deeper into our mind, without us even realizing it.

Then we have the issues of demons, and demonic possession. Telling people that demons are everywhere and that Earth is a spiritual battle ground. The very thought that you can be possessed is terrifying.

Not only is Hell a terrible thing to teach children about, but so is the rapture. The rapture teaches that Jesus will come, and basically nuke the planet. When you're told that you're not good enough to be in Heaven, and that Jesus will only take a few people with Him, it's a very scary thought. You'd think if there was a God, that he'd want most of His children to be with Him.

So, I believe that Christianity is a huge reason why I also have anxiety. Demons, Hell, and the Rapture, are very terrifying events, and one that no person should be forced to believe is real. I believe the reason I have OCD is that I had to perfect, and that meant controlling my thoughts as well.

Fear of the dark:

This may sound weird, especially for someone at my age, but no matter how hard I try to fight it, I can't shake it. I'm wondering if Christianity had an influence with it. I think a problem I had was that usually demons are associated with darkness. When you're told that demons and the Devil lurk in the dark, it's very scary.

Women:

I won't go into this too much, since I already did in another post, but this another issue that I've had. Growing up in purity culture really sucks. Being forced to believe that even thinking about lust is the same as committing adultery really did a number on me. Now, my sex drive has basically exploded. I can control it, but it went from being completely suppressed, to watching a lot of porn. I know that I need to find a middle ground, but it sucks that I've had to go through this in the first place. The porn isn't that bad, and I don't believe it's wrong, but I like to follow the philosophy of “everything in moderation”.

I still get mad because I've never dated before because of this reason. In high school, I had a negative view of myself. Probably due to the fact that Catholicism looks down on being human. I think I led some women on in college, but I didn't follow through because I was terrible with women. I feel bad if I did, but how was I supposed to know any better?

I'm a lot better now, but I'm still trying to forgive and forget.

Well, sorry to vent, but I had to get this out somehow. Who knows? Maybe someone else has gone through similar things as I have. It's always good to let people know that they're not alone. If anyone has any tips, I'd be happy to hear them.

Comments

Are You an Atheist Success Story?

By Avangelism Project ~ F acts don’t spread. Stories do. It’s how (good) marketing works, it’s how elections (unfortunately) are won and lost, and it’s how (all) religion spreads. Proselytization isn’t accomplished with better arguments. It’s accomplished with better stories and it’s time we atheists catch up. It’s not like atheists don’t love a good story. Head over to the atheist reddit and take a look if you don’t believe me. We’re all over stories painting religion in a bad light. Nothing wrong with that, but we ignore the value of a story or a testimonial when we’re dealing with Christians. We can’t be so proud to argue the semantics of whether atheism is a belief or deconversion is actually proselytization. When we become more interested in defining our terms than in affecting people, we’ve relegated ourselves to irrelevance preferring to be smug in our minority, but semantically correct, nonbelief. Results Determine Reality The thing is when we opt to bury our

Christian TV presenter reads out Star Wars plot as story of salvation

An email prankster tricked the host of a Christian TV show into reading out the plots of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Star Wars in the belief they were stories of personal salvation. The unsuspecting host read out most of the opening rap to The Fresh Prince, a 1990s US sitcom starring Will Smith , apparently unaware that it was not a genuine testimony of faith. The prankster had slightly adapted the lyrics but the references to a misspent youth playing basketball in West Philadelphia would have been instantly familiar to most viewers. The lines read out by the DJ included: "One day a couple of guys who were up to no good starting making trouble in my living area. I ended up getting into a fight, which terrified my mother." The presenter on Genesis TV , a British Christian channel, eventually realised that he was being pranked and cut the story short – only to move on to another spoof email based on the plot of the Star Wars films. It began: &quo

So Just How Dumb Were Jesus’ Disciples? The Resurrection, Part VII.

By Robert Conner ~ T he first mention of Jesus’ resurrection comes from a letter written by Paul of Tarsus. Paul appears to have had no interest whatsoever in the “historical” Jesus: “even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, we know him so no longer.” ( 2 Corinthians 5:16 ) Paul’s surviving letters never once mention any of Jesus’ many exorcisms and healings, the raising of Lazarus, or Jesus’ virgin birth, and barely allude to Jesus’ teaching. For Paul, Jesus only gets interesting after he’s dead, but even here Paul’s attention to detail is sketchy at best. For instance, Paul says Jesus “was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures” ( 1 Corinthians 15:4 ), but there are no scriptures that foretell the Jewish Messiah would at long last appear only to die at the hands of Gentiles, much less that the Messiah would then be raised from the dead after three days. After his miraculous conversion on the road to Damascus—an event Paul never mentions in his lette

Morality is not a Good Argument for Christianity

By austinrohm ~ I wrote this article as I was deconverting in my own head: I never talked with anyone about it, but it was a letter I wrote as if I was writing to all the Christians in my life who constantly brought up how morality was the best argument for Christianity. No Christian has read this so far, but it is written from the point of view of a frustrated closeted atheist whose only outlet was organizing his thoughts on the keyboard. A common phrase used with non-Christians is: “Well without God, there isn’t a foundation of morality. If God is not real, then you could go around killing and raping.” There are a few things which must be addressed. 1. Show me objective morality. Define it and show me an example. Different Christians have different moral standards depending on how they interpret the Bible. Often times, they will just find what they believe, then go back into scripture and find a way to validate it. Conversely, many feel a particular action is not

ACTS OF GOD

By David Andrew Dugle ~ S ettle down now children, here's the story from the Book of David called The Parable of the Bent Cross. In the land Southeast of Eden – Eden, Minnesota that is – between two rivers called the Big Miami and the Little Miami, in the name of Saint Gertrude there was once built a church. Here next to it was also built a fine parochial school. The congregation thrived and after a multitude of years, a new, bigger church was erected, well made with clean straight lines and a high steeple topped with a tall, thin cross of gold. The faithful felt proud, but now very low was their money. Their Sunday offerings and school fees did not suffice. Anon, they decided to raise money in an unclean way. One fine summer day the faithful erected tents in the chariot lot between the two buildings. In the tents they set up all manner of games – ring toss, bingo, little mechanical racing horses and roulette wheels – then all who lived in the land between the two rivers we

On Living Virtuously

By Webmdave ~ A s a Christian, living virtuously meant living in a manner that pleased God. Pleasing god (or living virtuously) was explained as: Praying for forgiveness for sins Accepting Christ as Savior Frequently reading the Bible Memorizing Bible verses Being baptized (subject to church rules) Attending church services Partaking of the Lord’s Supper Tithing Resisting temptations to lie, steal, smoke, drink, party, have lustful thoughts, have sex (outside of marriage) masturbate, etc. Boldly sharing the Gospel of Salvation with unbelievers The list of virtuous values and expectations grew over time. Once the initial foundational values were safely under the belt, “more virtues'' were introduced. Newer introductions included (among others) harsh condemnation of “worldly” music, homosexuality and abortion Eventually the list of values grew ponderous, and these ideals were not just personal for us Christians. These virtues were used to condemn and disrespect fro

Search This Blog