Be Kind Because God Says So

By Aspieguy ~

I recently was emptying the household trash when I spotted a church bulletin from my former UMC church. I began reading news of the same, dull events, more boring Bible studies, and the sermon outline. I won't go into great detail, but it was entitled " Why Kindness Makes the Difference".

After a discourse on the Good Samaritan parable the pastor proceeds to tell his sheep how to be kind. Furthermore, he tells the sheep they should be kind because God has been kind to them, kindness is an act of worship, kindness honors God, kindness makes them happy, kindness makes them attractive, and God blesses kindness.

I was really puzzled by this sermon outline. Did the congregation really need a sermon like this? Did they turn into selfish barbarians in my absence? Have Christians become so infantile that they will consider moronic sermons inspiring? Be kind? Did they not learn this in kindergarten?

Now, I admit to some bias. I already despise this particular pastor and would happily fill his house with garter snakes. However, I know that I am kind to others because IT'S THE RIGHT THING TO DO! I don't care if some god will be pleased with me, and I certainly am not trying to get happy feelings through my actions. This sermon outline simply made me happy that I had abandoned church and all the silliness that goes with it.

I never learned ethics or morals from Christianity or the Bible. I did learn much from the Army. I don't have to be told that murder is wrong, stealing is wrong, and cheating on my wife is wrong. I certainly don't need a minister wearing a dress to tell me what is right and wrong.

I am intrigued by the thought that being kind could make me attractive. At my age I need all the help I can get. I invite you all to my house for a wine and cheese party. I will give each of you a $50 check. I should become the purtiest in the land.