Skip to main content

A complete waste of brain power...

By Sarah R. ~

Where do I begin?

So I'm a African American woman who grew up in the church from ever since I can remember. I didn't like the days where I'm constantly getting up on Sunday mornings, getting dolled up to listen to a preacher go on and on but I couldn't say no to my mom knowing that she would beat me if I didn't listen. I had brothers and and uncles who couldn't stand listening to a preacher who does nothing but, and this is their own words, "Talk up a storm about nothing relevant, take peoples money come offering time, think that we're filled with the 'holy spirit' but isn't, and going home after church feeling like crap." Being as young I was at the time I didn't know what it meant so I ignored it. I was good kid growing up going to all public schools.

High school was the hardest because it was always pressure from cliques of me wanting to fit in with them, I couldn't do because of what my church taught me about the whole temptation of the heart thing. There was one night when I was at night service when I was sitting with my friend who is also christian and I still keep in contact with to this day, about me staying the night. I said of course sure, my mom knew her parents so it was OK. Little did I know, her brother that was in the church band playing drums was there around me and my friend. At her house one night, her brother came in and we started talking, then the conversation led to sex and he asked me if I wanted to do it. At first I said no cause I'm saving my self for marriage the bible said. However I gave in, needless to say it wasn't a pleasant experience. He pretty much used me for sex. I told my friend about it, and she didn't do much to help the situation. Here I was thinking I was in love, that we were going to get married and have kids, I was wrong. Luckily, I didn't get pregnant.

I haven't gone to church since that time, I took time to focus on me completing high school. After high school I attended college where I met a another girl named "J". I recognized her on the pamphlet of a concert program back in high school. I talked to her and we gotten to know each other, and then she brought up Jesus in the conversation. Then invited me to attend her church. I said sure. The people at her church were very down to earth and friendly but with strong christian beliefs. I was having a good time.

I stayed in that church for the next 3 years. But it wasn't until mid 2010 when I found about a scandal that broke out about having gay band members in the church, that lead to a long drawn out sermon about homosexuality, and I started to get frustrated so I walked out and waited in the sanctuary for church to be over. When I got home I turned on the news and their were breaking news of a bishop named in Atlanta who was strongly against same-sex marriage and homosexuality and yet, he's caught up in this scandal. I was speechless. Of course this wasn't the first time I heard stories like this. There has been stories of rape, incest, molestation in the church. I brought that topic up for discussion with J but she didn't want to talk about it, she just swept it under the rug, and so did many other church members including the pastor. Fall 2010 I stopped going to church altogether.

My life now is more fulfilling as an adult because I feel like there's a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders.2011, the new year hit. Even though I haven't been to church in a while, I really started to question church and Christianity, but it didn't really hit me until after I came back from vacation. Fall 2012, after thanksgiving my mother becomes really ill, found out she has cancer. I couldn't believed it, my mom was looking healthy but has always had back problems working 9 to 5 as a single mom. Anyway we were doing treatments for her, keeping her health up, until this pastor from Africa came to visit my mom in the hospital. He started praying hard over her, in a way that I never seen before! It scared the crap out of me! I didn't even bother closing my eyes during that prayer cause I thought something demonic would jump out the pastor, so I thought to myself, no way. As I left that night I told my mom I loved her, and that was the last thing I said before she died 3 days later.

Month after my mom's passing, I really started questioning God as to why so soon would you take her away. I went online and started researching about Jesus, then I came across this vid called the The Truth About Christianity, it was about 30 mins long and I was shocked, my mouth dropped open every time I'm seeing something I never ever would think even existed. I even started studying philosophy, logic, and astronomy and it opened my mind to the possibility of transformation! It was from that moment on, that I dropped Christianity from my life. I threw every holy, religious item in my room and from the days I was baptized and all that, straight in the garbage, and I never looked back.

My life now is more fulfilling as an adult because I feel like there's a huge weight being lifted off my shoulders. I'm starting to experience things I never knew can enrich my life for the better. I'm taking yoga as much as I can, I practice meditation from time to time whenever I feel stressed from life, and I converted to Nichiren Buddhism where I'm now a part of a lay organization called Soka Gakki International under the guidance of SGI president and Sensei Daisaku Ikeda. It has given me the freedom to be who I am and live the life I want to live without apologies!

To conclude, I want to thank ExChristian.net providing people like myself ways to express others testimonies and learn on how to my own master. Cause I run my world.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Are You an Atheist Success Story?

By Avangelism Project ~ F acts don’t spread. Stories do. It’s how (good) marketing works, it’s how elections (unfortunately) are won and lost, and it’s how (all) religion spreads. Proselytization isn’t accomplished with better arguments. It’s accomplished with better stories and it’s time we atheists catch up. It’s not like atheists don’t love a good story. Head over to the atheist reddit and take a look if you don’t believe me. We’re all over stories painting religion in a bad light. Nothing wrong with that, but we ignore the value of a story or a testimonial when we’re dealing with Christians. We can’t be so proud to argue the semantics of whether atheism is a belief or deconversion is actually proselytization. When we become more interested in defining our terms than in affecting people, we’ve relegated ourselves to irrelevance preferring to be smug in our minority, but semantically correct, nonbelief. Results Determine Reality The thing is when we opt to bury our

Christian TV presenter reads out Star Wars plot as story of salvation

An email prankster tricked the host of a Christian TV show into reading out the plots of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Star Wars in the belief they were stories of personal salvation. The unsuspecting host read out most of the opening rap to The Fresh Prince, a 1990s US sitcom starring Will Smith , apparently unaware that it was not a genuine testimony of faith. The prankster had slightly adapted the lyrics but the references to a misspent youth playing basketball in West Philadelphia would have been instantly familiar to most viewers. The lines read out by the DJ included: "One day a couple of guys who were up to no good starting making trouble in my living area. I ended up getting into a fight, which terrified my mother." The presenter on Genesis TV , a British Christian channel, eventually realised that he was being pranked and cut the story short – only to move on to another spoof email based on the plot of the Star Wars films. It began: &quo

So Just How Dumb Were Jesus’ Disciples? The Resurrection, Part VII.

By Robert Conner ~ T he first mention of Jesus’ resurrection comes from a letter written by Paul of Tarsus. Paul appears to have had no interest whatsoever in the “historical” Jesus: “even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, we know him so no longer.” ( 2 Corinthians 5:16 ) Paul’s surviving letters never once mention any of Jesus’ many exorcisms and healings, the raising of Lazarus, or Jesus’ virgin birth, and barely allude to Jesus’ teaching. For Paul, Jesus only gets interesting after he’s dead, but even here Paul’s attention to detail is sketchy at best. For instance, Paul says Jesus “was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures” ( 1 Corinthians 15:4 ), but there are no scriptures that foretell the Jewish Messiah would at long last appear only to die at the hands of Gentiles, much less that the Messiah would then be raised from the dead after three days. After his miraculous conversion on the road to Damascus—an event Paul never mentions in his lette

Morality is not a Good Argument for Christianity

By austinrohm ~ I wrote this article as I was deconverting in my own head: I never talked with anyone about it, but it was a letter I wrote as if I was writing to all the Christians in my life who constantly brought up how morality was the best argument for Christianity. No Christian has read this so far, but it is written from the point of view of a frustrated closeted atheist whose only outlet was organizing his thoughts on the keyboard. A common phrase used with non-Christians is: “Well without God, there isn’t a foundation of morality. If God is not real, then you could go around killing and raping.” There are a few things which must be addressed. 1. Show me objective morality. Define it and show me an example. Different Christians have different moral standards depending on how they interpret the Bible. Often times, they will just find what they believe, then go back into scripture and find a way to validate it. Conversely, many feel a particular action is not

ACTS OF GOD

By David Andrew Dugle ~   S ettle down now children, here's the story from the Book of David called The Parable of the Bent Cross. In the land Southeast of Eden –  Eden, Minnesota that is – between two rivers called the Big Miami and the Little Miami, in the name of Saint Gertrude there was once built a church. Here next to it was also built a fine parochial school. The congregation thrived and after a multitude of years, a new, bigger church was erected, well made with clean straight lines and a high steeple topped with a tall, thin cross of gold. The faithful felt proud, but now very low was their money. Their Sunday offerings and school fees did not suffice. Anon, they decided to raise money in an unclean way. One fine summer day the faithful erected tents in the chariot lot between the two buildings. In the tents they set up all manner of games – ring toss, bingo, little mechanical racing horses and roulette wheels – then all who lived in the land between the two rivers we

On Living Virtuously

By Webmdave ~  A s a Christian, living virtuously meant living in a manner that pleased God. Pleasing god (or living virtuously) was explained as: Praying for forgiveness for sins  Accepting Christ as Savior  Frequently reading the Bible  Memorizing Bible verses Being baptized (subject to church rules)  Attending church services  Partaking of the Lord’s Supper  Tithing  Resisting temptations to lie, steal, smoke, drink, party, have lustful thoughts, have sex (outside of marriage) masturbate, etc.  Boldly sharing the Gospel of Salvation with unbelievers The list of virtuous values and expectations grew over time. Once the initial foundational values were safely under the belt, “more virtues'' were introduced. Newer introductions included (among others) harsh condemnation of “worldly” music, homosexuality and abortion Eventually the list of values grew ponderous, and these ideals were not just personal for us Christians. These virtues were used to condemn and disrespect fro