Verbally Abused & Programmed

SHARE:

By Rachel Leigh ~

Well, actually I'm in search for some advice, guidance, or even counseling. I lived in an evangelical, charismatic, Christian home.

Considering we were Christians, we weren't happy.

I was born with a rare disease at birth. I was in a coma 2x in my lifetime. And I was a miracle in the church, cause of the fact that I woke up from them both and lived a "normal" life. When I was around the age 5 by parents started a church. It was small church in PA. My parents fought viciously. They were constantly fighting. They would scream profanities at each other. They would throw everything at each other. Then, to make matters worse. My dad was verbally abusive. In his eyes, nothing we ever did was good enough. "Why couldn't be like this person?" he would ask repeatedly. I remember they would fight. Then they wouldn't speak. Then, they would pretend nothing had happened. After years of watching this, I starting to ask my mom at around age 8 or 9, mom, why can't you divorce dad? She would say, with tears in her eyes, "Cause god hates divorce". I didn't understand god's logic. When I got older, I would ask questions like, doesn't god want you to be happy? I was very confused. To top everything off, I was being programmed. Controlled. Manipulated, on so many levels.

I was around 10, when the church shut down. That was also around the time, that I really didn't want to be a christian, but I started to "put on shows". I was one way in church, home, school, relatives, friends, strangers... Basically, I had a different personality or image for every where I went. My parents were constantly concerned about my faith in god. They used to say, I was "back-sliding". I would get prayed over, spoken to, sent to church. And every other conceivable thing that was done to restore my faith, was done.

Well, I'm 26 now. I left home at age 21. And when I left home, I also left the church and the faith. My parents divorced. My mom, brother, and sister have a very different view on faith, religion, and life. But, I must say, that I truly need to talk to someone. Someone who would understand and be understanding, and non-judgmental. Unfortunately, I don't know if I'll ever find therapy, or counseling. Just from a random person, that happens to care.

COMMENTS

A. Uiet Bhor,8,Agnosticator,9,Al Wm Johnson,3,Alegria,3,Alen Basic,1,American Apostate,3,Andrew Jasko,3,Anne R Keye,6,AnonAgno94,4,Apostate Paul,3,Articles,838,Aspieguy,12,Astreja,19,Atheist Dad,1,atheistnurse,10,AtheistToothFairy,6,Avangelism Project,7,Ben Love,68,Bill J,17,billybee,10,BlackFreethought,11,Bob Keye,3,Bob P,9,Bob R,5,boomSlang,2,Bore Venal Charlatan,2,Brian B,5,Brian Kellogg,8,Brisancian,3,Brother Jeff,9,Bruce Gerencser,2,Bruno Corey,1,Butch,2,C. T. Ogden,4,Calladus,5,Carl S,354,Carol Putnam,2,Carolyn Hyppolite,10,Cecelia,4,Cheryl Ensom Dack,6,Chris W.,1,Christian Agnostic,2,Christmas,66,ChuckyJesus,7,ConversationsWithA,1,D. R. Khashaba,6,DagoodS,17,Daniel Morgan,2,Daniel out of the Lion's Den,15,Daniel Payne,1,Dano,28,darklady,7,Dave8,1,DealDoctor,29,Dennis Diehl,1,Dethblight,6,dharma,4,Discordia,4,DocMIke,30,Doubting Thomas,2,Doug John,1,Dr. Marlene Winell,41,Dr. Valerie Tarico,215,DRC,2,dswrites,2,Easter,32,EChamberlainMD,12,Ed (Teapot),2,Eric Jeffries,2,eveningmeadows,13,Evid3nc3,4,ex-Pastor Dan,25,exfundy,8,exPenty,8,Faithfool,2,Feature,6,Fernando Alcántar,5,freddieb42,2,freeatlast,6,Freethinking Okie,1,Gabe,3,Gary T. McDonald,1,God-O-Rama,6,Godlessgrrl,5,Greenworld,4,hellboundsoul,3,Houndies,3,Ian,14,illu minati,2,Incongruous Circumspection,11,J.C. Samuelson,25,J.W.,2,JadedAtheist,2,Jake Rhodes,3,James A. Haught,4,James C,4,Jazzybelle,3,Jennifer,3,Jody,5,John Blatt,8,John Botha,1,John Draper,26,John Fraysse,7,John Loftus,26,John Shores,26,Kalos,4,Karen Garst,31,Kevin Parry,1,Klym,24,Larry C,5,Larry Spencer,5,Letters,147,Libby Anne,3,Log1cd1ctat3s,2,Lorena,16,Luke,1,lungfish,1,Micah_Cowan,3,Michael Runyan,31,Michael Sherlock,5,Mriana,38,MtlRedAtheist,8,News,170,Nikki,1,Nvrgoingbk,7,NYdiva,2,ooglyman,2,Opinion,945,Patrice,2,Paul So,26,Philippe Orlando,3,Philonous,1,Politics,59,Positivist,5,Psy-Cop,1,psychman33,5,Rational Okie,3,Renoliz,10,Rev Ex-Evangelist,7,RickO,3,Robert Conner,8,Ronna Russell,11,RubySera,1,Rudy,4,Russ Hamel,2,SailerFraud,5,Sam Singleton,5,Science,105,SConner,2,SeageVT,3,Shaolin,4,Sharon,3,Simplex Munditiis,3,Son of a preacher,5,Stephen F. Uhl,4,Steve Dustcircle,4,Stillunsure,4,Stronger Now,3,summerbreeze,33,Susan G. Bonella,3,Tania,20,tekHedd,2,Testimonials,1893,Thanksgiving,8,The New Heretics,4,The STeWpId MoNkEy,4,The Thylacine,2,TheThinkingAtheist,5,Thin-ice,5,ThinkTank,5,Thomas,1,Tim Simmons,22,Tim Sledge,3,Tim Whistorn,2,Tim Wolf,1,TinMan,1,True Anathema,4,TruthSurge,11,Tyrone Williams,5,u,1,Ubi Dubium,4,undercover agnostic,24,unoder,7,Vadarama,2,Victor J Webster,2,Videos,431,Vyckie,11,Webmdave,85,WidePathGirl,2,WizenedSage,158,xrayman,6,xxkindofboredxx,2,Zach Moore,13,
ltr
item
ExChristian.Net: Verbally Abused & Programmed
Verbally Abused & Programmed
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CrVC0uufz18/T2B378nPCBI/AAAAAAAAEbI/DKJM0R8_eLw/s320/verbalabuse.jpg
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CrVC0uufz18/T2B378nPCBI/AAAAAAAAEbI/DKJM0R8_eLw/s72-c/verbalabuse.jpg
ExChristian.Net
https://new.exchristian.net/2012/03/verbally-abused-programmed.html
https://new.exchristian.net/
https://new.exchristian.net/
https://new.exchristian.net/2012/03/verbally-abused-programmed.html
true
1266985040290242663
UTF-8
Loaded All Posts Not found any posts VIEW ALL Read more Reply Cancel reply Delete By Home PAGES POSTS View All RECOMMENDED FOR YOU LABEL ARCHIVE SEARCH ALL POSTS Not found any post match with your request Back Home Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat January February March April May June July August September October November December Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec just now 1 minute ago $$1$$ minutes ago 1 hour ago $$1$$ hours ago Yesterday $$1$$ days ago $$1$$ weeks ago more than 5 weeks ago Followers Follow THIS PREMIUM CONTENT IS LOCKED STEP 1: Share to a social network STEP 2: Click the link on your social network Copy All Code Select All Code All codes were copied to your clipboard Can not copy the codes / texts, please press [CTRL]+[C] (or CMD+C with Mac) to copy