By Carl S ~ C hristianity tells us to believe whatever Jesus said is absolute truth. Jesus himself says that he must be believed, or else we must suffer eternal punishment in refusing to do so. Or so we are told by the gospel writers. This causes problems. Number one is that no one knows who "they" are, those who wrote the gospels from whom these sayings arise. Neither do we know their motivations, which may have slanted what they chose or did not choose to write down. Therefore we have no way of knowing which words of Jesus are direct quotes, or are "attributed to," Jesus, or if he said some of them in jest, or if any of them are derived from folklore. Anyone might question why an educated rabbi such as Jesus did not himself write what he wanted to convey, doing so straightforwardly and unambiguously, during the decades of his life. (We shall not address the fact that there are no historical references to a Jesus, his miracles, etc., by any historians writi...

By Astreja D ear Christian Visitor, This is just a short note to let you know that you're wasting your time here at ExChristian.Net.  You may think otherwise, but just sit down for a minute and listen carefully to what I have to say. First of all, bear in mind that quite a few of us have been where you are now:  Flushed with excitement at sharing the Gospel, and believing that your words are divinely inspired and have the power to soften the hardest heart. I hate to break this to you, but your words aren't magic.  Not only that, but we've probably heard them before -- Sometimes dozens of times before -- and any power they might have had over us is long gone.  Your impassioned plea has been reduced to a tasteless gob of chewed-out bubble gum.  Please don't stick it under the desk. Secondly, have you ever really thought about what you're saying?  You blurt out John 3:16 as if it's a good thing, not considering that a god who would allow his own s...

By Tania ~ I n three weeks, it will be one full year since I last attended a church service. It was almost one year ago that I pulled over to the side of the highway a few hours after that service, shaking, crying, telling myself over and over, "I can't do this anymore, I really cannot do this anymore...." It seemed too drastic to promise myself I'd never go back to church ever again, so I promised myself I'd give it a break for one year. I made a note on my calendar. I wrote about it here on ex-Christian.net. I told some friends. I kept an open mind. And I loosened my grip on what I thought "should" happen. I let go... rather, I'm learning to let go. Sometimes, in a moment or two of sadness or frustration or fear, I want to go running back and hold on so tightly again. When I'd made that promise to myself, I added a couple exceptions -- I'd still go to weddings and funerals. After all, that was the church I attended regularly from age...

By Meagan ~ Why being de-converted is like divorcing an abusive husband I recently had a friend encourage me to think of my de- conversion experience from Christianity like a divorce. She explained that while I feel freedom, I will also feel loss, and that it will take a while for me to heal and recover from the brainwashing. She was so right! What are the attributes of an abusive relationship ? 1. Control. In an abusive relationship, one partner controls the other partner through manipulation, financial control, extreme emotional reaction or withdraw, providing pleasure one minute and pain the next, brainwashing, and psychological head games. 2. Task based relating. In an abusive relationship, one partner views the other as an object to be used (a tool), rather than a whole person. The abused partner is expected to perform tasks in order to benefit the other partner to the exclusion of him or herself. 3. Often in abusive relationships, one partner enters into a sexu...

By Grace ~ I don’t remember actually asking Jesus into my heart to be my personal savior when I was four years old after a missionary to Africa explained to our small-town vacation bible school that people who accept Jesus go to heaven and people who don’t go to hell. But my mom assures me that I did just that. The date is still etched in the front cover of her bible, as well as in her memory. I do, however, remember going forward to become baptized when I was nine. I remember attending all manner of services: Awanas, youth group, prayer meeting, Sunday school , Sunday morning, Sunday evening. I remember that if the doors of the church were open, our family was there: fourth row, organ side. I remember a kindergarten through twelfth grade education at a private christian school. I remember four years of christian university. I remember how proud my parents were of their christian daughter who loved the lord with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength. Fast forward about ten ye...

By Carl S ~ T raditions are respected, until they aren't any more. This seems strange at first thought, because they are held in such unquestionable esteem, usually for centuries. During their durations, they're even considered as ever-enduring. For thousands of years many gods were worshiped, their existences never questioned, and the powers of their priests and kings were naturally accepted as perpetual truths. Secular did not exist. Slavery was a tradition. So was the public sacrificial slaughter of thousands of animals, and public executions. War still is a tradition, noted in the Book of Ecclesiasticus as perennial, as inevitable as the change of the seasons. English: Ganges river at Varanasi in India 2008 (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) Traditions are not necessarily based on truth, though. For instance, Columbus Day in the U.S. celebrates a man who "discovered America." Though Columbus existed, he never touched the mainland. (What is not celebrated is hi...

By Cecelia ~ S ix months after dedicating my life to God, I felt so unhappy within myself that I leapt, head first, into a sex addiction.  I got into the regular habit of taking myself off to nightclubs,  pubs and other likely venues in order to hook up with men for sex.  I wasn't interested in pursuing any sort of normal relationship.  It was the danger, anonymity and excitement I wanted.  At the time, my mind was in such a state of turmoil that I couldn't have explained to anyone, myself included, exactly, why I felt the need to do this. I was lonely.  I knew that.  I felt unloved. I knew that, too. I was looking for an emotional connection that I sought to satisfy with a physical connection.  That was obvious. The cold, stark reality of my days was depressing. I dragged myself around like a zombie, feeling dead inside, rejected and unwanted. I felt invisible. Once, when walking along the street, I saw an acquain...

By WizenedSage (Galen Rose) ~ M y friend Carl S. called this morning to remark on something he found interesting in Matthew 25, this is the Mount of Olives speech where Jesus is telling his disciples that he will be coming back to earth someday and they better get ready and stay ready. So I read that chapter, and chapter 24 as well, to refresh my memory. As I read, I found it curiouser and curiouser, as Alice would say. Jesus says that preceding his return, “… nation shall rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom: and there shall be famines, and pestilences, and earthquakes, in divers places.” And if it’s in winter or on the Sabbath day, that’s just tough for you, and it’s just too damned bad about women who are with child or nursing an infant. We see not a trace of the famed compassion of Jesus in these passages. But what’s really funny is how Jesus goes on and on giving example after example of what it’s going to be like at the time of that great calamity. He says th...

By Carl S ~ T he refugees arrive, some kissing the ground of the infidels, while in gratitude trading minaret calls for bells. Who are the Syrians but those who care, those who are the innocents persecuted, wanting to raise their children, love their spouses, care for their elders, desiring merely to have hope and live their lives unmolested by tyranny and unmolested by religion? Why are their faces, actions, humanity, so familiar to us? ls it because they are so much ourselves? They risk danger from drowning, murder, leaving behind homes and property, seeking safety and freedom in secular lands. Will these freedoms be denied in these countries, by other religions? Isn't there something familiar about them? Think about it. They are the Canaanites fleeing God’s Israelites in the Old Testament , even as they are being slaughtered while shielding each other and their babies. They are the humans described in another Old Testament story as, "wicked humanity whose thoughts...

By Valerie Tarico ~ H igh school football coach Joe Kennedy has opened the door to Texas lawyers and Satan in Western Washington by insisting that he has the right to lead Christian post-game prayers in his official role as a public employee. Kennedy, who is now suspended from his job for refusing to comply with district (and federal, constitutional) rules, has attracted the attention of the Liberty Institute, a Texas-based Religious Right legal group that is threatening to sue, calling Kennedy’s paid leave a “hostile employment action.” Many outsiders, by contrast, see Kennedy as yet another public employee who thinks he’s entitled to keep his job without just doing it—like Kim Davis , the Kentucky clerk who insisted on denying marriage licenses to gay couples rather than either resigning or following the Supreme Court equality ruling. The editorial board of the Seattle Times in comparing Kennedy to Davis commented that, “[Public employees] don’t have to abandon their relig...

By Klym ~ I 've always been a deep thinker. I've been told throughout my life that I think too much -- that I analyze things to the nth degree. I've been told that I'm too passionate and that I need to just let things go -- that I don't have to figure everything out or make sense of everything. That I just need to have faith. I think many of us here at Ex-C have similar personalities -- it's how we managed to break free of the religious dogma we were brainwashed with since childhood. Every so often I have days of soul-searching and overthinking things. I am in the middle of an overthinking episode as I write these words. It all started last Sunday evening when my mother-in-law called. I answered the phone to hear her gasping for breath. I knew something was terribly wrong. She was able to tell me through her hyperventilating and crying that her nephew -- my husband's cousin -- was in a horrible, head-on car crash . That he, his wife, and his two chil...