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What Jesus Believed

By Carl S ~

Christianity tells us to believe whatever Jesus said is absolute truth. Jesus himself says that he must be believed, or else we must suffer eternal punishment in refusing to do so. Or so we are told by the gospel writers. This causes problems. Number one is that no one knows who "they" are, those who wrote the gospels from whom these sayings arise. Neither do we know their motivations, which may have slanted what they chose or did not choose to write down. Therefore we have no way of knowing which words of Jesus are direct quotes, or are "attributed to," Jesus, or if he said some of them in jest, or if any of them are derived from folklore.

Anyone might question why an educated rabbi such as Jesus did not himself write what he wanted to convey, doing so straightforwardly and unambiguously, during the decades of his life. (We shall not address the fact that there are no historical references to a Jesus, his miracles, etc., by any historians writing during the time he was supposed to have lived.)

Because the gospels are quoted as the sole source for the sayings and teachings of Jesus, and were written over several decades, long after his death, we would naturally assume that the gospel writers had time to alter and edit the texts for clarity and accuracy. Following the gospel truth-claims that he would not, could not, lie, his words would tell us what he himself believed. So, without citing chapters and verses, (which are readily available online), here is what Jesus believed, in his own words.

Jesus believed he was preaching to a "wicked and adulterous generation." He believed that adultery was committed whenever a man even "looked at a woman with lust," and that anyone who married a divorced spouse was "guilty of adultery." His definition of "adultery" must have included the majority of his, and every, adult and adolescent generation.

Jesus, according to his personal account of meetings with the "Devil" in the desert, believed the Earth is flat. We know this because, according to him, he "was shown all the kingdoms on earth" from the top of one mountain. This would have been possible only if the Earth was flat, then. (Strangely, the first thing noticed about the Earth from Space is that it's round. And yet scriptural writers never mention this.)

Jesus believed that the Pharisees had trumpets blown to announce when they were giving aid to the poor. There are zero accounts of this happening. Was he being sarcastic? Or did someone tell him this was true, and he believed it? Hmm...

Jesus believed that a loaf of broken bread was his physical body, and a cup of wine his blood, even as he physically looked at both of them.

Jesus sincerely believed the myth of Noah and the Flood, a flood which never happened. If it had, irrefutable scientific evidence would confirm it all over the Earth. There isn't any.

Jesus believed that John the Baptist was the "greatest man born," thus excluding himself.

Jesus believed he should not be called "good," since, he said, "No one is good but God."

Jesus believed that no one should make any plans for the future because God the father would provide, just as he did for the birds and plants, for example.

Jesus believed in polygamy. Jesus straightforwardly tells a parable about ten virgins lined up to marry a groom, only five of whom were found worthy. He believed in acceptance of such a marriage, otherwise he would've said differently. (No exclusive monogamy of one man, one woman, there.)

Jesus believed that stars will fall through space and onto the Earth. Trillions of stars exist light-years away from Earth. Stars cannot fall. Any single star approaching the planet would incinerate it.

Jesus believed that a mustard seed is the smallest of all seeds. This can be proven to be untrue by anyone visiting a market and looking at mustard seeds. We can see that carrot and fig seeds alone are much smaller.

Jesus believed that, just as Jonah was in the belly of a huge fish three days and three nights, so he would be in the heart of the Earth for "three days and three nights." Not two days, nor one and one half days, but three whole days, three entire nights.

Jesus believed that slavery was a natural state of affairs. Several of his parables deal with slaves and with their rewards and punishments.

Jesus believed that if the temple in Jerusalem was destroyed, he could re-construct it in three days. (Despite what the writers claim, that he was referring to his body, he did say, "this temple," while standing in front of it.)

Jesus believed that the destruction of Jerusalem itself would leave "not one stone resting on top of another." Historical reports tell us that whole sections of wall remained.

Jesus believed that whatever his followers prayed for would be granted them, no strings attached, no stipulations, no exemptions, "whatever in my name you ask for," even to being able to move trees and mountains. "Everything that you ask for in prayer will be given you." These claims are definitely not true.

Jesus believed that those who believed in him would be able to drink anything known to be deadly without being affected.

Jesus believed that it was not what went into a man's mouth that defiled him, but what came out of it. We know by our own experiences that tainted food going through the mouth causes a man to vomit it up.

Jesus believed he was driving money exchangers out of the Temple, i.e., his “father's house," when in fact, they were outside the temple.

Jesus believed that some dead people, (esp. Lazarus, odorously dead for days), were "only sleeping."

On the cross, Jesus believed that the heavenly father he constantly preached about as one who cared intensely for his human children, especially his only son, had "forsaken" him as he was dying in agony. Did he also believe that after he died, he himself would not be dead, but only "sleeping?"

Jesus believed that he was living in the generation that would see the end of the world; that it was "near." He often told his followers it would happen in their lifetimes.

Jesus believed that the meek would “inherit" the earth, even as he said it would end "soon." It's over two thousand years later, and the world’s still here. Jesus didn't believe this century would come.

Jesus believed that unless a seed died in the ground, a new plant would not grow from it. We know the difference between "die" and "germinate." Many a seed germinates; those that die, well, they die. In his parable of the sower, he talks about seeds that fall on areas where they cannot germinate. He compares those conditions to the "word of God" falling on individual humans who are created by that God, who are by their natures rejecting those words. They are as naturally predisposed to “rejecting the word" as rocks, parched ground, and pools are in "rejecting" the seeds.

Jesus believed that you should pluck out your eye or chop off your hand, or scrotum, or other bodily parts, in the event they "offend" you. He believed, therefore, that bodily parts can act as if they possess wills of their own, uncontrollable by the will of the person.

Jesus believed that a fig tree should produce its fruit out of season just because he wanted it to.

Jesus believed that anyone who does not accept him will be condemned to eternal torture and “everlasting fire" as a punishment. Jesus did not believe in empathy or compassion for those who do not or cannot accept him.

If, in the words of the gospel of John, so many things could be said about Jesus that "the whole world could not contain them," then reasonably, Jesus would have believed even more untruths besides those listed in the gospels.

Jesus believed many things which we now know are definitely not true. Thus, either he lied or he believed these things because he didn’t know any better. What, then, are we to make of other things he believed in, such as his promise of eternal life only for those who believed as he did?

But, wait. What if Jesus is a fabrication? After all, to believe this Jesus, one must believe those who wrote the gospels.