By Riki ~
This isn't really my testimony so much as it is simply a stream of consciousness about the nature of forced belief and fake adulation; both rife among Christians. One must unquestioningly accept so many irreconcilable 'facts' and offer up such a steady stream of hand-wringing adoration it equates to one of the cruelest psychological tortures ever devised...
From my perspective, the sponsoring emotion of all Christians is fear... and what a terrible way to begin a relationship with someone you're supposed to love...
If I had a message for Christians; housed within the belief system they adhere to, it would be as follows: Be honest! God knows your true motivation! You can't lie to god about what you really feel!! Lying is a sin and it will land you in hell, so your only hope is to first be completely honest and bare your soul... You can't pretend to love someone who fills your entire being with terror and dread..pretending that is called groveling; it's called Stockholm syndrome and it's what victims do.
So be honest! Admit the truth of your heart... Repeat after me, "I am horrified and terrified, deeply disappointed, and disgusted that an all-knowing, all-seeing, omniscient, and perfect God, a divine being incapable of making mistakes or being wrong, somehow created us, and created Satan, knowing full well what was going to happen when we came together... Knowing that Satan would rebel and would then go on to deceive and ultimately doom the entire human race...and yet allowed it to happen?... A being who went active at the beginning, with an outpouring of great miracles and displays of Godly power before the eyes of his people, but today metes out nothing more than televangelists and Christian puppet shows on cable while subjecting us all to the same soul-death penalty for disbelief?"
All we have to go by is a confusing book of highly subjective passages written by a multitude of anonymous authors often hundreds of years after the events they depict actually took place... Today, we are born within a sea of denominations, we have short confusing lives in which we have to "get it right!", and even with the best intentions and the most sincere efforts most of us will still fail and end up roasting in Hell forever... Never forgiven... Never given another chance. Only understanding
what the stakes were after it's too late for the lesson to have any meaning!... Many of our earthly lives are a form of hell in their own right, and yet after all that suffering and pain we endure, trying to make sense of it all, we STILL get sent to the real Hell for eternity, because this all-loving, all-knowing God is offended by the failure of his creation! Failure he knew would happen when he made us...
But hey...Let's ignore that and block it all out because the absolute last thing any of us wants to do is piss him off even more! We must hide our disgust at the colossal unfairness of it all, and instead, leap up and down in fake adoration! Praise him for his glory and goodness!
Hallelujah!....Let's ignore that billions of little kids born in India, poor and immersed in their "evil" religious culture will never get the opportunity to accept Jesus, so they'll go from the slums of Calcutta straight to Hell... Muslims too... In fact anyone unlucky enough to be born outside the Christian bubble of smug terror based inoculation... God is love though and his ways are mysterious and merciful. He is all the really good adjectives we can find in a thesaurus and we are the problem... Don't touch your selves! It's dirty! Hell awaits self-touchers! Fight and deny your filthy natures or go to Hell! God created you riddled with urges and defects of character; each of which will put you in Hell...
God doesn't make mistakes though, his ways are perfect! even when he creates beings that anger and offend him... They too are made perfect... Got a problem with that? It's all your fault...
God is like Kim Jong Un! He can do no wrong! All abnormalities and anomalies are a sin to even notice! If you even dare to think that something is wrong with God...Then you are obviously evil and you really should get yourself off to Hell ASAP!! Christians are like North Koreans, so utterly marinated in fear that they've become pathologically inured to it and able to call it "love" for their great leader! Weeping rivers of fake love-tears..But secretly wishing he didn't exist at all, secretly knowing that they can't tell where he ends and the devil begins... Fear has them groveling before God's throne even in heaven! Even those who make it are cast for eternity to bow and scrape forever before his throne... That will be their reward; the few who make it blindfolded through the minefield of God's hair-trigger wrath... er... I mean love... They will get to sing his praises; prostrate themselves, in endless brown-nosing while most of their extended family are savaged in Hell.
From my perspective, the sponsoring emotion of all Christians is fear... and what a terrible way to begin a relationship with someone you're supposed to love...Oh, you had a fatal car crash before you could apologize for masturbating to porn hub last night? Too bad! Apologize from Hell! We Christians will fill in the obscene details of your designer punishment... Oh, you chose the wrong denomination of 30,000 to belong to? Off to hell, you go!! Oh, you got divorced by your, abusive and philandering husband and now you've found a loving man to start a new life with? Sorry whore! Send out your wedding invites from Hell!
You are never good enough! And even with Jesus's forgiveness; if you are honest with yourself; you still hold that terror inside because you are constantly at war with yourself! Constantly backed into a corner by an omniscient bully that holds ALL the cards...Your entire life becomes one long tragic tale of self-deception as you tell yourself, "I'm so grateful and I love god so much because he is such a merciful and loving father who is filling my life with blessings... "This is what you tell the world and what you tell yourselves, but in your hearts beneath all that pretense is a reptilian fear....A terror that sparks your instinct for self-preservation, that shuts down your higher mental functions and tells you, "Do whatever it takes to keep that madman happy!" If God requires purity of heart and 100% honesty you are doomed!
When you stand before Jesus who is waving people left or right like a bearded Dr. Mengler... Maybe you're gonna be screwed anyway! When the son of man asks you, "What are your true feelings for my father?" And you say, "Oh I love him sooooo much it's just crazy! You would not believe how much I love him! All I have is love! Yep pretty much 24/7... just love love love!" He will say, "LIAR! Get thee away from me!" He will see inside your heart!" Better then, that you speak the truth that really lies there than to say what you hope he wants to hear... "What do you think of my father?" "I think he sucks!" "Ahhhh... Go in peace my child..."
Better to admit, "I am terrified, horrified and disgusted by this being that calls itself merciful, loving and just while it stacks the entire deck against me and creates an impossible standard for me to live by before sending me to an eternal torture chamber; even before could figure out why I'm even here!"...Christians who profess undying love for God. If God offered me the chance to receive all his powers and take over from him if enough of you voted....like in some kind of celestial election campaign, and if I simply ran on my own personal set of morals and ethics (which just happened to include the abolition of Hell; replacing it instead with something more like forgiveness, re-education, and healing) who would you vote for? The God you profess to love along with his eternal damnation for most of humanity or sinful me? Who made who here? Did he make us? Or did we
invent him?
From my perspective, the sponsoring emotion of all Christians is fear... and what a terrible way to begin a relationship with someone you're supposed to love...
If I had a message for Christians; housed within the belief system they adhere to, it would be as follows: Be honest! God knows your true motivation! You can't lie to god about what you really feel!! Lying is a sin and it will land you in hell, so your only hope is to first be completely honest and bare your soul... You can't pretend to love someone who fills your entire being with terror and dread..pretending that is called groveling; it's called Stockholm syndrome and it's what victims do.
So be honest! Admit the truth of your heart... Repeat after me, "I am horrified and terrified, deeply disappointed, and disgusted that an all-knowing, all-seeing, omniscient, and perfect God, a divine being incapable of making mistakes or being wrong, somehow created us, and created Satan, knowing full well what was going to happen when we came together... Knowing that Satan would rebel and would then go on to deceive and ultimately doom the entire human race...and yet allowed it to happen?... A being who went active at the beginning, with an outpouring of great miracles and displays of Godly power before the eyes of his people, but today metes out nothing more than televangelists and Christian puppet shows on cable while subjecting us all to the same soul-death penalty for disbelief?"
All we have to go by is a confusing book of highly subjective passages written by a multitude of anonymous authors often hundreds of years after the events they depict actually took place... Today, we are born within a sea of denominations, we have short confusing lives in which we have to "get it right!", and even with the best intentions and the most sincere efforts most of us will still fail and end up roasting in Hell forever... Never forgiven... Never given another chance. Only understanding
what the stakes were after it's too late for the lesson to have any meaning!... Many of our earthly lives are a form of hell in their own right, and yet after all that suffering and pain we endure, trying to make sense of it all, we STILL get sent to the real Hell for eternity, because this all-loving, all-knowing God is offended by the failure of his creation! Failure he knew would happen when he made us...
But hey...Let's ignore that and block it all out because the absolute last thing any of us wants to do is piss him off even more! We must hide our disgust at the colossal unfairness of it all, and instead, leap up and down in fake adoration! Praise him for his glory and goodness!
Hallelujah!....Let's ignore that billions of little kids born in India, poor and immersed in their "evil" religious culture will never get the opportunity to accept Jesus, so they'll go from the slums of Calcutta straight to Hell... Muslims too... In fact anyone unlucky enough to be born outside the Christian bubble of smug terror based inoculation... God is love though and his ways are mysterious and merciful. He is all the really good adjectives we can find in a thesaurus and we are the problem... Don't touch your selves! It's dirty! Hell awaits self-touchers! Fight and deny your filthy natures or go to Hell! God created you riddled with urges and defects of character; each of which will put you in Hell...
God doesn't make mistakes though, his ways are perfect! even when he creates beings that anger and offend him... They too are made perfect... Got a problem with that? It's all your fault...
God is like Kim Jong Un! He can do no wrong! All abnormalities and anomalies are a sin to even notice! If you even dare to think that something is wrong with God...Then you are obviously evil and you really should get yourself off to Hell ASAP!! Christians are like North Koreans, so utterly marinated in fear that they've become pathologically inured to it and able to call it "love" for their great leader! Weeping rivers of fake love-tears..But secretly wishing he didn't exist at all, secretly knowing that they can't tell where he ends and the devil begins... Fear has them groveling before God's throne even in heaven! Even those who make it are cast for eternity to bow and scrape forever before his throne... That will be their reward; the few who make it blindfolded through the minefield of God's hair-trigger wrath... er... I mean love... They will get to sing his praises; prostrate themselves, in endless brown-nosing while most of their extended family are savaged in Hell.
From my perspective, the sponsoring emotion of all Christians is fear... and what a terrible way to begin a relationship with someone you're supposed to love...Oh, you had a fatal car crash before you could apologize for masturbating to porn hub last night? Too bad! Apologize from Hell! We Christians will fill in the obscene details of your designer punishment... Oh, you chose the wrong denomination of 30,000 to belong to? Off to hell, you go!! Oh, you got divorced by your, abusive and philandering husband and now you've found a loving man to start a new life with? Sorry whore! Send out your wedding invites from Hell!
You are never good enough! And even with Jesus's forgiveness; if you are honest with yourself; you still hold that terror inside because you are constantly at war with yourself! Constantly backed into a corner by an omniscient bully that holds ALL the cards...Your entire life becomes one long tragic tale of self-deception as you tell yourself, "I'm so grateful and I love god so much because he is such a merciful and loving father who is filling my life with blessings... "This is what you tell the world and what you tell yourselves, but in your hearts beneath all that pretense is a reptilian fear....A terror that sparks your instinct for self-preservation, that shuts down your higher mental functions and tells you, "Do whatever it takes to keep that madman happy!" If God requires purity of heart and 100% honesty you are doomed!
When you stand before Jesus who is waving people left or right like a bearded Dr. Mengler... Maybe you're gonna be screwed anyway! When the son of man asks you, "What are your true feelings for my father?" And you say, "Oh I love him sooooo much it's just crazy! You would not believe how much I love him! All I have is love! Yep pretty much 24/7... just love love love!" He will say, "LIAR! Get thee away from me!" He will see inside your heart!" Better then, that you speak the truth that really lies there than to say what you hope he wants to hear... "What do you think of my father?" "I think he sucks!" "Ahhhh... Go in peace my child..."
Better to admit, "I am terrified, horrified and disgusted by this being that calls itself merciful, loving and just while it stacks the entire deck against me and creates an impossible standard for me to live by before sending me to an eternal torture chamber; even before could figure out why I'm even here!"...Christians who profess undying love for God. If God offered me the chance to receive all his powers and take over from him if enough of you voted....like in some kind of celestial election campaign, and if I simply ran on my own personal set of morals and ethics (which just happened to include the abolition of Hell; replacing it instead with something more like forgiveness, re-education, and healing) who would you vote for? The God you profess to love along with his eternal damnation for most of humanity or sinful me? Who made who here? Did he make us? Or did we
invent him?
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