Skip to main content

This "Christian" thing is an illusion

By FoolNoMore ~


I fell into a religious fervor or stupor fell in when I became born again 2 years ago. After I accepted Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior, I got baptized and I began do dive deep into the bible. I watched countless of religious videos on youtube learning from different people, as well as attending a local church. I completely changed my life: No sex before marriage, no masturbation, studying of the bible, prayers to God to deliver me from my enemies and to guide me out of my dire financial situation. I ministered to non believers or lukewarm believers, telling them to have faith in the face of hardship and tragedy. I watched their situation remain the same or worsen.

i was no longer eating pork and shellfish. i was fasting with the hope of gaining more clarity, i was even starting to follow Saturday Sabbath which means not doing anything but prayer from Friday sundown to Saturday sundown. I owned 6 different bibles. countless of Christians books.

I donated or tithed to so many different churches and organizations... while still barely able to pay my rent each month. All the while, watching my non religious friends or relatives living on the hog, getting financial blessings without praying to any god. But I consoled myself by telling myself that I had "true wealth" aka the love of God.

I am not ready to tell the Christians I befriended during my stupor that I am no longer one of them.At the same time, I was never able to get a good night sleep. This supposed peace of God that passes all understanding was never mine to behold,

And then something happened in my life that was so disturbing that it was like someone threw a bucket of cold water in my face. This other christian who had been pursuing me while he was engaged to someone else (yes, I know, icky) finally married his fiancee after leading me on. Though we did not have sex despite him pressuring me, i had had fallen in love with him and had heard God telling me he was the one, to just be patient, that he was confused. I 'prayed and prayed and prayed, hoping for some kind of resolution to this triangle and all I got was this so called Christian slime marrying this woman that I know for a fact he doesn;t love. I had had so many "signs" and "miracles" telling me he was the one, to just be patient and pray for his soul to return to God.

Anyway, I am glad I snapped out of it. While I was born again, I had so many questions about some of the events of the Old Testament that disturbed me, things like God ordering this jewish warrior to kill EVERYONE in that town, even women, children, and livestock. And whats up with this god requiring animals to be sacrificed to him? why such bloodthirstiness? and I was uncomfortable with the apologetic answers I got. Even some things in the New Testament gave me room for pause, for instance, Jesus' position on divorce. and let's face, the turning of the other cheek is screwed up advice.

This Christian thing is an illusion.

I am embarrassed I fell for this. I am not ready to tell the Christians I befriended during my stupor that I am no longer one of them. I am just going to slowly phase them of my life and even move to a different city. Its a waste of time explaining i no longer believe in that BS.

For the first time in years, i feel less guilt about everything. i dont have to please someone up there somewhere.and follow his 10,000 commandements. i am a pretty decent person and i have decent morals. And I will be pleasuring myself tonight. I will be going back to dating and will avoid the insipid pool of Christian men i had previously resigned myself to.

I wil not worry about next life, no one knows with certainty what it is. This life is all ive got and I will make the most of it.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Christian TV presenter reads out Star Wars plot as story of salvation

An email prankster tricked the host of a Christian TV show into reading out the plots of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air and Star Wars in the belief they were stories of personal salvation. The unsuspecting host read out most of the opening rap to The Fresh Prince, a 1990s US sitcom starring Will Smith , apparently unaware that it was not a genuine testimony of faith. The prankster had slightly adapted the lyrics but the references to a misspent youth playing basketball in West Philadelphia would have been instantly familiar to most viewers. The lines read out by the DJ included: "One day a couple of guys who were up to no good starting making trouble in my living area. I ended up getting into a fight, which terrified my mother." The presenter on Genesis TV , a British Christian channel, eventually realised that he was being pranked and cut the story short – only to move on to another spoof email based on the plot of the Star Wars films. It began: &quo

Are You an Atheist Success Story?

By Avangelism Project ~ F acts don’t spread. Stories do. It’s how (good) marketing works, it’s how elections (unfortunately) are won and lost, and it’s how (all) religion spreads. Proselytization isn’t accomplished with better arguments. It’s accomplished with better stories and it’s time we atheists catch up. It’s not like atheists don’t love a good story. Head over to the atheist reddit and take a look if you don’t believe me. We’re all over stories painting religion in a bad light. Nothing wrong with that, but we ignore the value of a story or a testimonial when we’re dealing with Christians. We can’t be so proud to argue the semantics of whether atheism is a belief or deconversion is actually proselytization. When we become more interested in defining our terms than in affecting people, we’ve relegated ourselves to irrelevance preferring to be smug in our minority, but semantically correct, nonbelief. Results Determine Reality The thing is when we opt to bury our

So Just How Dumb Were Jesus’ Disciples? The Resurrection, Part VII.

By Robert Conner ~ T he first mention of Jesus’ resurrection comes from a letter written by Paul of Tarsus. Paul appears to have had no interest whatsoever in the “historical” Jesus: “even though we have known Christ according to the flesh, we know him so no longer.” ( 2 Corinthians 5:16 ) Paul’s surviving letters never once mention any of Jesus’ many exorcisms and healings, the raising of Lazarus, or Jesus’ virgin birth, and barely allude to Jesus’ teaching. For Paul, Jesus only gets interesting after he’s dead, but even here Paul’s attention to detail is sketchy at best. For instance, Paul says Jesus “was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures” ( 1 Corinthians 15:4 ), but there are no scriptures that foretell the Jewish Messiah would at long last appear only to die at the hands of Gentiles, much less that the Messiah would then be raised from the dead after three days. After his miraculous conversion on the road to Damascus—an event Paul never mentions in his lette

ACTS OF GOD

By David Andrew Dugle ~   S ettle down now children, here's the story from the Book of David called The Parable of the Bent Cross. In the land Southeast of Eden –  Eden, Minnesota that is – between two rivers called the Big Miami and the Little Miami, in the name of Saint Gertrude there was once built a church. Here next to it was also built a fine parochial school. The congregation thrived and after a multitude of years, a new, bigger church was erected, well made with clean straight lines and a high steeple topped with a tall, thin cross of gold. The faithful felt proud, but now very low was their money. Their Sunday offerings and school fees did not suffice. Anon, they decided to raise money in an unclean way. One fine summer day the faithful erected tents in the chariot lot between the two buildings. In the tents they set up all manner of games – ring toss, bingo, little mechanical racing horses and roulette wheels – then all who lived in the land between the two rivers we

Morality is not a Good Argument for Christianity

By austinrohm ~ I wrote this article as I was deconverting in my own head: I never talked with anyone about it, but it was a letter I wrote as if I was writing to all the Christians in my life who constantly brought up how morality was the best argument for Christianity. No Christian has read this so far, but it is written from the point of view of a frustrated closeted atheist whose only outlet was organizing his thoughts on the keyboard. A common phrase used with non-Christians is: “Well without God, there isn’t a foundation of morality. If God is not real, then you could go around killing and raping.” There are a few things which must be addressed. 1. Show me objective morality. Define it and show me an example. Different Christians have different moral standards depending on how they interpret the Bible. Often times, they will just find what they believe, then go back into scripture and find a way to validate it. Conversely, many feel a particular action is not

I can fix ignorance; I can't fix stupid!

By Bob O ~ I 'm an atheist and a 52-year veteran of public education. I need not tell anyone the problems associated with having to "duck" the "Which church do you belong to?" with my students and their parents. Once told by a parent that they would rather have a queer for their sons' teacher than an atheist! Spent HOURS going to the restroom right when prayers were performed: before assemblies, sports banquets, "Christmas Programs", awards assemblies, etc... Told everyone that I had a bladder problem. And "yes" it was a copout to many of you, but the old adage (yes, it's religious) accept what you can't change, change that which you can and accept the strength to know the difference! No need arguing that which you will never change. Enough of that. What I'd like to impart is my simple family chemistry. My wife is a Baptist - raised in a Baptist Orphanage (whole stories there) and is a believer. She did not know my religi