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God, I Want A Divorce

By MTC ~

I was raised Catholic, went through an agnostic phase, then classified myself as a non-denominational Christian after "finding Jesus" again during a Baptist church service while visiting maternal relatives. Like so many others, I was devout and had such a strong relationship with God.

However, that doesn't mean there were certain teachings in the Bible and Christianity that didn't sit well with me. Then again, our Heavenly Father knows best. Bleh!

I happened to find several videos on youtube and other sources elsewhere on the Internet which gave very intriguing facts about the history of the Bible, earlier myths, etc.

To sum it up quickly, I no longer classify as any religious person. Not just the lack of evidence or newly discovered facts, but what mainly did it for me is the numerous teachings, claims, etc., in Biblical doctrine that make absolutely no sense at all if one really thinks and pays attention. Example: God is in control and everything works out according to his plan, but he gives us free will. Just how does that work? Besides, if all will work out according to his plan anyway, and you can pay a heavy price for saying "no" to God (up to and including eternal torment) then what good is free will, and prayer for that matter? Especially since we're supposed to trust and have faith in our Heavenly Father's will.

Christianity also teaches that God is all-knowing and nothing is beyond his knowledge, including the future. So if he knew Adam and Eve would disobey him and the rest of humanity would suffer and go bad, then why bother creating us? Sometimes I get the "because God gave Adam and Eve free will" response. But Heavenly Father still knows everything and saw us before we were born. Need I say more?

Speaking of which, and be warned that I'm about to mention a touchy topic...abortion. In cases of rape, the devoutly religious pro-lifers claim that it's unfair and immoral to punish the child for the sin/s of the parent/s. But yet we're being punished for what Adam and Eve did! Also, God deliberately struck King David's infant son with a seven-day sickness and then death because of his sins. And God is supposed to be merciful and just...whatever.

If he knew Adam and Eve would disobey him and the rest of humanity would suffer and go bad, then why bother creating us? Today, feminism has a negative reputation. True feminism is about the genders having equal legal rights, education and career opportunities, etc. Unfortunately many people today associate feminism with man-hating (which is misandry) and female supremacy, and I admit that there are some goons out there who think that way. But I do not associate with them in any way whatsoever. Anyway, the Bible is clearly filled with sexism and misogyny (woman-hating). One reason I've heard for Eve being created from Adam's rib (yet another Bible story that drives me nuts to no end) was for her to be at his side as his equal. His side as his equal...not his head to be over him or his foot to be under him. But nevertheless "the husband is the head of the wife (Ephesians 5:23)" and therefore the household leader and final decision-maker. And only men can be head pastors and church elders (1 Timothy 2:11-14, 3:1-13; Titus 1:6-9). Makes lots of sense, doesn't it? *sarcasm* I don't care how anyone justifies or rationalizes it, male headship is indeed sexist and misogynistic. I quote from, "It is also very important to understand that the Bible’s ascribing different roles to men and women does not constitute sexism. The Bible makes it abundantly clear that God expects men to take the leadership role in the church and the home. Does this make women inferior? Absolutely not. Does this mean women are less intelligent, less capable, or viewed as less in God’s eyes? Absolutely not! What it means is that in our sin-stained world, there has to be structure and authority. God has instituted the roles of authority for our good. Sexism is the abuse of these roles, not the existence of these roles." Yeah, whatever! I also quote from, "These facts do not suggest that woman is inferior to man, but they do mean (to those who respect the testimony of Scripture) that she is subordinate in rank to man." Um, hello! Inferior and subordinate are synonyms, in other words they mean the same thing!

If God put me in a subordinate rank not because of my education level, experience level, etc., but because of my chromosomes, then I want nothing to do with him. Speaking of which, there are things I've been through in my life which were supposedly God's will, or he allowed them to happen for whatever reason/s. I was an "early bloomer," starting the first signs of maturing when I was 10. Those changes are already hard and humiliating enough, but when you're that young and especially not mentally catch my drift, right? Supposedly I was an "early bloomer" because it was our Heavenly Father's will. Not only that, but he was actually the hand in having me mature that early. Is it just me, or does that make God sound like a molester? Also, I was diagnosed with autism in my early childhood. Needless to say me and my family had obstacles to overcome. We also had a rather negative experience at a famous medical center. God's will...bah! Like many other kids, I had my share of being bullied and made fun of. Some of the things other kids did and said to me were downright horrible, and to this very day I go to mental health therapy because of it (and other things too, such as the early maturing). What reason/s could Heavenly Father possibly have for me to be mistreated so badly by other children? Why didn't he protect me from those cruel kids? Don't forget, according to Christianity those same people who traumatized me do have a chance to enter Heaven so long as they repent, accept Jesus and ask for forgiveness. If that happens, what about me and my feelings? Do I no longer matter?

God loves me more than I can imagine, yet does so many things and/or allows things to happen that bother and humiliate me to no end, and drive me up the wall. Canned responses including "God works in mysterious ways" and "just trust and have faith in his will" don't do any good at all. So God, you love me unconditionally and beyond description, yet you did things in the Bible that you knew would drive me nuts, and you did and/or allowed things in my own personal life which you knew would be so traumatic, embarrassing, etc. God...I want a divorce!