A Discussion on Faith with My Religious Relative

By Carl S ~

I've known my relative and his family for over 25 years now. I decided to share something with him in an email:

"I woke up at 5 a.m. with a very peaceful and comforting thought. I don't know if there's an actual Heaven or Hell (no one does), but it doesn't matter because after I'm dead. there won't be a 'me' to experience either one." 

(You can imagine the responses to that.) Later on, 

"This particular Carl you think you know, will be dead, and won't experience Hell, Heaven, Paradise, Reincarnation, or any other 'afterlives' ignorant men have created."

Once again I was chided with his repetitive – over 25 years – interpretation of Pascal's Wager, 

"If I'm wrong, I've lost nothing; if you're wrong, you've lost everything." 

(WTF?). I told him,

“That's ridiculous.” 

I knew all the good he'd done, so I couldn't think he wasted his life if he didn't bet on believing. You do not "choose" what to believe any more than you choose who you love or are attracted to. 

"What you describe is gambling. Once again you're asking me to gamble and I'm not a gambler."

There were accusations of my disrespecting God, him and his family, and his beliefs, for years. (That's what you get when you don't agree with any of the above. One just does not do this! You know.) It's no surprise when the believer ends with, 

"This conversation is ended, and there's nothing further to be discussed in the future." and..."We are family." (after all?) 

I was disappointed and somewhat sad about it since I had shared my comforting realization.


Here's where things get interesting. (And you might consider this approach yourself.)

"Well, there are misunderstandings and hurt feelings. Because these are often related to beliefs, I thought I might ease them to your satisfaction by referencing them to Bible scriptures. First of all, Scripture tells you faith is a 'gift.' In Romans 9, v. 18-21, Paul states that God purposely hardens the hearts of some individuals, so they CAN'T accept the gift, and that is his decision, and we have no right to question it. Now, you may tell me it's my fault I don't accept your faith, but what it says is that my heart, hardened by God, has no choice at all.

And how does God's purposeful hardening of individual hearts apply to families? If we combine what Paul said to the words of Jesus in Matt. Ch. 10, vs. 34-36, we find the answer, for Jesus says, "Do not think I have come to bring peace. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword...etc. From there on he describes not only dissensions and splits in nuclear families. Oh no, he extends them to relationships with in-laws. Put these 'revealed' texts together, and the result is the fate we have to accept. I hope this clears things up."

The responses to the Paul quote were ripped right out of one of the many apologetic bible sites. Parroting, no thinking; but you get it: the deity hardens the hearts of some, and then condemns them to hell for being hard-hearted. If you noticed, no mention was made of the "Not peace but a sword" divisiveness. TMI? I ask you, why would I continue to waste my time with this? No.

I answered this whole mess with, 

"Sorry, but no thanks. Nothing you've said has any relevance to my life, how I choose to live it, and the relationships I have with others." (Ta-dah!?)

One result of all this conversation: I was called "delusional." I've contributed over 350 articles to ExChristian, Feel free to read them and then decide whether I'm delusional or not. LOL!