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I was an Apostolic Pentecostal...

By OnlyAGhost ~

I was an Apostolic Pentecostal who left Christianity after 30 years. I was born and raised in it.

Now being a bit of a nerd and antisocial I had a hard enough time making friends and acquaintances, but, growing up, the amount of people in my life were limited. I was mostly homeschooled and spent high school in a small Pentecostal private school.

My limited social network (and the possibility of some personality disorders) had caused me to live a fairly lonely life. It made relationships difficult to find, and even more to keep. I was definitely an oddball amongst them, and I never actually dated until I was about 24. By then I was able to live my own life, but I was still indoctrinated. However, loneliness drove me to look outside my denomination. My first girlfriend was Baptist.

At around 30, I went to prison. I don't want to talk about what I did. I am quite ashamed. I spent 5 years locked up while almost every one of my Christian friends abandoned me. I was already having doubts about my faith before prison: no answered prayers, my limited social upbringing, the hatred of others that christians show, and noticing the inconsistencies of Christianity. Prison gave me time to study the "holy bible" with a Strong's concordance + Greek and Hebrew dictionary.

I first tore apart my own denomination, then moving on to christianity itself. I realized how brutal this god is and how christians have no free will. I gave up on studying, then pursued facts.

I started off calling myself Agnostic. I felt that there still might be a higher power, just not any that we know of. Slowly, with the help of Atheists on YouTube, I changed my stance to Atheist and Humanist.

I've been looking for communities that share my ideals, so that life won't be quite as lonely anymore.