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By Carl S  ~ 

If you're familiar with WWJD, you know what the letters stand for. They were once popular in Christian circles, representing “What Would Jesus Do?” The whole reason for this slogan was to make them ask themselves what Jesus would do when having to deal with life's moral decisions. Is this the “Jesus” who cared about the poor and disenfranchised, and said, “everything you do for the least of my brethren, you do for me?” Would he consider giving them free meals on Christmas and Easter enough to meet that requirement? Do they heed the Jesus who says they must forgive, or, threateningly, his father will not forgive them? What about the Jesus who hated hypocrisy, and made this clear in no uncertain terms? Do they do as he did?

A friend and I were talking about our Sunday meetings at the cafe. He calls them our “church.” I said few would be found in our church, but on the other hand, even Jesus wouldn't attend my wife's church. He wouldn't describe himself, as her pastor did, as a “conservative.” No, Jesus was a liberal. He wouldn’t' pack a gun in church, or sing “Onward Christian Soldiers” on the morning the U.S. invaded Iraq. He wouldn't stay for that bible study, when the pastor expounded on the Book of Revelations, those workings of demented and hate-filled minds, as the final result of Jesus’ teachings.

It might be better if we posed a question: WWJND? What would Jesus NOT do? For one thing, Jesus wouldn't “do” evangelism. Evangelicals voted into office an amoral sexual predator who conducted affairs in his three marriages (so much for “one man and one woman”!) They hate LGBT's; the kind Jesus hung around with. He wouldn't support a women's rights denier like Mike Pence. He wouldn't “do” Republican, because that Party doesn’t give a shit about the poor, needy, and victims. The Jesus of the gospels wouldn't “do” Catholic either; he said anyone who harms children should have a rope tied around his neck with a rock attached, and be thrown in the lake, Mafia-style.

Gospel Jesus wouldn't be caught dead with congregations that forgive pastors who commit criminal activities. He wouldn't be around those who, by their actions, don't really believe what they preach. He wouldn't be among the political Christian Righteous. And you know why. What would he not do with Paul's “Christ?” When told he was “good,” Jesus answered, “Why do you call me good? No one is good but God.” When asked if he was divine (Roman emperors were divine), he often avoided the question, preferring to turn it around and ask, “Who do you say I am?”

Jesus of the gospels wouldn't “do” tolerating con artist televangelists. He'd tell them, “Woe to you hypocrites.” He'd reject the “prosperity gospel” as the opposite of what he preached, for it is an oxymoron. His mission has everything to do with building up treasures, “in heaven.” He'd reject the Christians who regard punishing non-believers in the here and now as justified. He threatened non-believers with hellfire in the hereafter, but never rubber-stamped torturing and killing them here on Earth.

Gospel Jesus wouldn't be caught dead with congregations that forgive pastors who commit criminal activities.The Jesus of the gospels wouldn't “do” religion+politics, nor tolerate Christian politicians using their positions of power to create laws absolutely denying human rights to those not sharing their sincerely held prejudices. What would this Jesus “do” but vomit, watching ordinary men acting like vessels of wisdom, because they quote ancient scriptures to their advantage? And, he'd reject those copycat prophets who speak “for him,” predicting an imminent end times. (again?)

WWJD with our information, our evidence (amassed since his death over two thousand years ago), about how the world and universe function? WWJD if faced with the colossal evidence of evolution? Wouldn't he be forced to change his teachings to accommodate reality? What would Jesus do TO those who consistently preach bullshit and lie for the sake of a religion he never envisioned? And if he had a chance to live his life over and over again, as in “Groundhog Day,” wouldn't he do bacon? Sure.

Christians have real problems with WWJD, which is why we don't expect to hear that slogan anymore. They don't know. They're content to assume he said things, but not everything he's alleged to have said. That's too inconvenient.


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