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My Amazing Release

By Gerald M ~

I was raised in the Baptist church until about age 16. I had asked Jesus to save me at the age of 13,of which I believed He did. We quit going to church as a family, but I always held to my belief in God and His Son.

Fast forward to when I was 35.

I became extremely involved in giving up my life for Christ's sake. I loved Him more than life itself. I quit planning for the future, since God was to be my provider.

The New Testament is plain in regard to building a future so that you can take it easy. Jesus said to forsake all and follow Him, and I did my best to do just that. I lived by all His words and became an ordained minister when I was 50.

After a few years in ministry, I became very discouraged by what the Bible said about answers to prayer. Jesus said ask, seek, knock and I did. No answer. I asked for many things, mostly for the lives of others, but again, nothing.

This went on until one day at age 55, I was pondering why God did not communicate as others had said He did. Prayer seemed to be a one way conversation, and I dared anyone to prove otherwise. Sure,there are coincidences when something asked for seems to happen,but 99% of the time it's nothing.

All at once in an instant,it hit me like a ton of bricks. There was no answer, because there was no one listening. At that moment, my heart sank. Over the next few months, I did not want to live any longer. I had lost the one and only love I held so dear. I began rereading the scripture I had read hundreds of times before.It was like blinders fell off and I could see the Bible for what it was: mans creation of his god.

I had always read those things, but I always thought I was just not understanding scripture. I thought God just thinks differently from us. But no,I am a sane person and I know how to read, and now I was able to see the horrible things in it that this god committed or ordered committed.

As a rational person,I could no longer accept God giving rules for slavery, the absurd punishment for a rapist, condoning child sacrifice by not rejecting it, and many scientific errors.So I was depressed for the next two years, but finally I got over it.

I am much poorer in life due to my strict adherence to the Bible. I look back at what my life could have been. But guess what! I am the same person I've always been, even without any god to look to for consolation. So to answer the question on whether I believe in a god? There have been too many gods in history to make a choice, and none do anything that we can prove ,so to that end I reject them all.

I mean, even the disciples did not live by faith alone, and especially Thomas. So, I tell people that the gods were made by man and not man by god.

I've been told numerous times I'm going to hell. My response is "there is no more a hell than there is a heaven". I have decided to give up on trying to convince others that they are simply believing in wishful thinking. I have laid out many, many of the Biblical issues to others of faith, and everyone so far does not have enough knowledge of the Bible to refute what I say. They don't realize that nearly my entire life was dedicated to 'knowing this God' and the way to that was by knowing the so called holy scripture, and know it I did.

One of my favorite passages to try and drive home the point of a book created by man for man is Numbers 31. How do you suppose they determined which girls were virgins, I ask? And what about that insane number of 32,000? I know the text doesn't say how they figured it out, but one can only imagine. Poor girls,subjected to such humiliation. But then what can we expect from a god who killed all the babies and children in a flood, as well as innocent animals. Sounds like he has a temper problem. I mean, a jealous god?

 If anyone would just study the attributes of this god, they could see everything about him is an image of man, even down to his evaluation of women .Remember they are not worth as much as the boys.

I would be a fool to reject the bible if it were true, nor would I. But I would be a bigger fool to believe in imaginary beings who never help anyone, only enslave them to a life of fear and not knowing if they are pleasing this horrid fictional entity.

It's been 11 years since my faith dissolved and I live a wonderful life independent of any kind of spirituality. I now choose to be a part of humankind that strives to help others through the pitfalls of life.

Free At Last !!!!!


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