By Robbie ~
I joined a Pentecostal church called Struthers in Falkirk in Scotland in 1984. By 1996 I realised I was being lied to and they didn't believe their own lies.
For years they tell you God does not want you, he wants your funeral. When you submit to prayer, which on reflection is some form of hysteria where up to three leaders pile on top of your head and yell over you until you hit the floor, they then leave you bewildered and confused.
That was May 1994.
When you go back realising your human weakness has failed you, you get one person who shouts over you hysterically then tells you that you have failed on this count before and will fail again. It is up to you.
If it was up to me and my will, where did God's power through my surrender go to? Why did she not tell me I could fail before her intimidating behaviour and ask what it was which prevented me from reaching the purity of thought demanded?
Not that I expect answers from these people. That would mean they are actually interested in you as an individual human being and Struthers is not like that.
That was 1996, July camp. It took another year to work up the courage to leave, though I did tell the pastor I was struggling to have faith and she gave me a dirty look before shouting over me in that same hysterical way. Of course, asking why my faith was failing never occurred to her.
My so-called friend since school testified that God helped him find a job as he could not handle unemployment -- after telling me for years God had a purpose for me as I had struggle to find a settled job due to low confidence. His wife then said she needed to spend money on nice clothes to put the stress of the working week behind her before embarking on the spiritual path on Saturday night and on Sunday.
Twenty one years later I cannot listen to Christians and am only now beginning to feel confident in myself.
For years they tell you God does not want you, he wants your funeral. When you submit to prayer, which on reflection is some form of hysteria where up to three leaders pile on top of your head and yell over you until you hit the floor, they then leave you bewildered and confused.
That was May 1994.
When you go back realising your human weakness has failed you, you get one person who shouts over you hysterically then tells you that you have failed on this count before and will fail again. It is up to you.
If it was up to me and my will, where did God's power through my surrender go to? Why did she not tell me I could fail before her intimidating behaviour and ask what it was which prevented me from reaching the purity of thought demanded?
Not that I expect answers from these people. That would mean they are actually interested in you as an individual human being and Struthers is not like that.
That was 1996, July camp. It took another year to work up the courage to leave, though I did tell the pastor I was struggling to have faith and she gave me a dirty look before shouting over me in that same hysterical way. Of course, asking why my faith was failing never occurred to her.
My so-called friend since school testified that God helped him find a job as he could not handle unemployment -- after telling me for years God had a purpose for me as I had struggle to find a settled job due to low confidence. His wife then said she needed to spend money on nice clothes to put the stress of the working week behind her before embarking on the spiritual path on Saturday night and on Sunday.
Twenty one years later I cannot listen to Christians and am only now beginning to feel confident in myself.
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