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Vacillations

By Prufesso' ~

My dear comrades in battle...how difficult it is to leave one's faith, especially if you have been in ministry. Not only do you have to deal with your own doubts and questions, but you have others who depend on you -- including your family.

Very hard.

Over the last three years I have slowly moved away from the faith and I am now almost to the end of that move, but there are still vestiges of it, that, from time to time, hit me sideways and get me hooked once again, although briefly.

What amazes me, however, is the same attitude found among the funnymentalists we are leaving to be found among those who have already deconverted.

A word of warning: let's extend to everybody the same amount of understanding we wanted to have extended toward us.

I received an email from somebody who read my story here, congratulating me on my courage. When I replied, during one of my return to the faith moments, that I had returned to the faith, he belittled me, got rude, became arrogant, and then told me to never contact him again.

That is not what this is about. It is not about trying to be better than anybody. We have come to the conclusions that what we previously believed no longer is true. That is difficult and it is only natural to vacillate from time to time. When that happens we don't need to have an atheistic nazi approach. We need compassion, mercy, and understanding. Let's not forget that humility goes a long way in many situations even when WE are on the receiving end of difficult treatment.

So I'm back on the secular/skeptic band wagon, and it's great. I still have a difficult road ahead due to family and people that look up to me, but time heals all and eventually it will all resolve itself.

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