The Biggest Joke Book on Earth

By Carl S ~

Back in the 1960's there was a popular TV series called “Get Smart.” The show was a spoof of James Bond-type counter-espionage. Agent 86, a.k.a. “Smart,” was played by Don Adams. I didn't see many episodes, but I do remember a gag he often repeated. When Smart reported to the head of his agency, he would sometimes say things like, “Would you believe there were 200 of them?” There would be a long pause, and then, “Would you believe 100? What about 75?”

Would you believe this report: a guy fed 5000 men with 5 loaves of bread and two fishes? Well, would you believe 50 loaves and 200 fishes? Would you believe 500 men, and no women and children? Didn't you believe me when I told you he also walked on water? Would you believe me if I said the lake was frozen? Would you believe a man lived to be 400 years old, and then he built a gigantic boat, when any 100 year old man would have trouble building a ship model? What else?

One commentator wrote about an atheist mother…

Pretty simple choice, right?

By Apostate Paul ~

You are the principal of a school.

You find out that one of the fryers in the cafeteria burst into flames, spreading quickly, and the fire department is ten minutes out. It's unclear why the smoke alarms aren't working in the school, but they aren't. The fire is likely to get out of control fast.

Do you:

A. Pull the fire alarm, alerting all students that they are required to evacuate immediately.

B. Get on the PA system and make an announcement, giving the students the option to evacuate if they are afraid that the fire may harm them, and advising them to do so.

C. After 5 or so minutes, go into a nearby classroom and alert the teacher and her students that they have the option to leave because there is a fire in the building, and tell them it is imperative that they alert the rest of the school, and leave.

Seems like a pretty simple choice, right?

Let's say you are God of the universe.

You have known since the dawn of time that humanity is headed down a path into eternal damnation. You watched them eat from the tree that started it all. Justice will eventually demand that they suffer forever for their sinful actions. It's unclear how they ever got into this position since they were created perfect, but, they are. It's likely to go downhill fast.

Do you:

A. Use your omnipotence to cleanse their sick, perverted bodies of the sin nature they have fallen into and restore them all to their full, original potential.

B. Proclaim to the world through a supernatural event that transcends time, speaking to all generations across history, that they are a fallen people, and give them the option of salvation and healing.

C. A few thousand years after sin first entered the world, go to a very small country in the Middle East, and explain to a handful of people in confusing parables that they have the option to be saved, and that it is imperative that they alert the rest of the world, and then leave.