By ghost writer ~ I got hit with a bout of depression today. It followed a movie I watched entitled, " The Apostle ". Robert Duvall played a southern evangelist, very charismatic, who killed the man who was having an affair with his wife. Then he left town and with a new identity was able to get a new church started in a mostly African American area in a town in Louisiana . Good movie, but I got depressed, anyway. Film poster for The Apostle (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) Despite the fact that I have been an exchristian for years this movie touched me deeply. It brought back memories of what I thought Christianity could be. The members of the church in this movie were all poor and had practically nothing to call their own. The evangelist was a true believer. He was not mean or arrogant, but loved the people. His sermons were of the kind commonly seen in Southern black churches, highly emotional and effective to people in emotional need, especially. He filled a defini...

By Unborn Again Christian ~ When you stop learning, stop listening, stop looking and asking questions, always new questions, then it is time to die — Lillian Smith I have seen countless creationist-evolutionist debates and there are two questions that creationists always ask, and are conspicuously smug about: Why are we here?   What caused the big bang?  I have seen creationists feeling really proud of themselves for asking these two questions. They go on to claim that these are the two questions that religion can answer; god caused the big bang (something out of nothing) and we are here to serve an eternal purpose and fulfill a divine plan that god has in store for us. It is relatively easy to tackle the second question especially with all the brilliant research in theoretical physics and cosmology spearheaded by Lawrence Krauss , among others. The discovery of M-theory revealed that in a multiverse, big bangs keep happening all the time and are not really spe...

By Anonymous ex-Christian ~ M y name is Joe - that you should know if you went to the weekend show. The show called church, where we get fed spiritual stuff, all Spirit led. I go to church most every week, appeasing God so He won't freak. If I don't go, there's Hell to pay, not just from God, but guilt will stay. Others will judge and reject me because of my complacency. But I do go, am never late, making it when they pass the plate. Giving to church -- a gift to God, Give ten percent -- I smile and nod. Give ten percent, the O.T. states. We're in the New, but it's church rates. Man I hope that makes God happy, because I'm in debt and all nappy. But pastor said I would get blessed above and beyond, it's my best. Now it's time for me to sing. My songs to God sound amazing. I raise my arms, antenna sticks, all to get my spiritual fix. This song sounds like brainwashing chant; Wish it would end -- it's like he can't! ...

By Leopardus ~ M y upbringing was entirely Protestant . My family were good Protestant “churchians” (people who go to church regularly "'cause that's what good folk do"). The faith, such as it was, was just cultural really. I did know some real Christians (all Protestant) and I admired them, but I wasn't one of them any more than the rest of my family was. English: The inside of an Orthodox church. Greek Orthodox Church. (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) Somewhere around 14 or 15 years of age I realized that the religion I’d been brought up with was largely dead, worthless, and meaningless, so I stopped going to church. That lasted about four or five years. During that time my parents somehow started taking the faith more seriously. When I was 19 they asked me if I'd like to come along to church with them. They had a good reason. The preacher, they told me, was a very good speaker who made sense and was logical. Now a sensible, logical, interesting, skilled ...

By Carl S ~ J esus said, “If you ask the father for anything in my name, he will give it to you.” He also states, in Matt. 7: 7-8, “Ask and it will be given to you...for everyone who asks, receives.” This is merely one of many of his guarantees: the promise of answered prayers between him and his followers. What he said is very, very, clear. Contracts (Photo credit: NobMouse ) Believers in Jesus frequently petition his father to answer their prayers, “In Jesus' name.” Are those prayers always answered, as he promised they would be? Or is this one example of Jesus as liar? You know as well as I that contracts frequently, if not always, include stipulations, qualifiers, exemptions, and conditions. They are there to make sure no one can claim to misunderstand just what the parties have committed themselves to (a.k.a., “read the small print ”). Violations of the contract can make it null and void , incur penalties, or lead to recompense in favor of a plaintiff in a court of l...

By RaLeah ~ M y parents were Christians, and so were we. Church, Christian school, Christian friends. We grew up with it. Along with morality, our church imparted advice. On dating, marriage, and child rearing. The hardest for me was punishment of children by spanking. The preacher and teachers pointed to a verse, "He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from hell." (Proverbs 23:13-14) But here's the important part: I'm the third girl of four daughters. My two older sisters are strong and willful. My father would spank them for bad behavior, and they took both it like stoics. I was another story. I was a super sensitive child. I tamed wild kittens born on our farm so they'd make good pets instead of growing into feral cats my da...

By SP ~ T hank you for your wonderful site. It has helped me tremendously. The articles and comments I have read have not only been inspiring and educational, but they have also been empowering. Although I know my experience is not unique, I would like to share how I was able to realize that I had developed a faulty sense of reality due to my dependence on religion to think for me. While my childhood was filled with mostly positive experiences, my life as an adult became unnecessarily difficult, partly because I was afraid to step outside a world that was familiar and seemingly good. When I was fourteen, I made a conscious decision to believe in the Mormon church. Little did I know that I based this decision on my experiences and limited ability to reason critically. For example, I believed God was the source of all truth and light; making him my only resource. The problem with that is there is an obvious conflict of interest. Even as I lumped moral behavior with religiou...

By LunarBlack ~ I 've always been the outcast of my family, the weird one. I married young, like a lot of women in my family, but unlike them, I married outside my race. It wasn't like I married someone "down", no I ended up marrying a blonde hair, blue eyed long hair goth metal super pale white mutt. it didn't matter that I was with a man who treated me respectfully, intelligent, compassionate, easy going, in general in all around good person, my families first impression was "Let's pray that (husband) is right with the lord". Oh yeah, he's also a preacher's kid, which was another issue. He wasn't from the right church, which is odd since my family was raised in an A.M.E church and his family was United Methodist and literally did the same things at service. Fun times. Now, for me, my grandmother is the christian matriarch. She was the one who found god and started my family on that path. Believe me, she wasn't always saved. I...

By RaLeah ~ A fter attending a small wedding this past Saturday, I found myself in Columbus Circle in New York City . Before I caught my train, I had a cigarette, and I was listening as a sidewalk preacher held up his hand-written signs on cardboard, calling out Bible verses to the indifferent people walking by. As I was finishing my smoke, I heard him say, "And Jesus said to Nicodemus, you must be born again!" And I looked over and said, "And Nicodemus replied, 'How can a man be born again when he is old?'" The man looked over at me, startled. And here's where I thought, I should really learn to keep my mouth shut. But then I thought, I've been an ex-Christian for a decade now, and I'll bet I know the Bible more than this guy. And anyway, at least if I distract him for a bit, I'm sparing the pedestrians his tirade. So... bring it on. I smiled at him, and I said, "I know you're doing this because you fervently belie...

By Carl S. ~ A n actor is chosen to portray Abraham Lincoln . Because he is fascinated by the personality of Lincoln, he willingly throws himself into this opportunity. Not only does he study his lines, he reads up on the man; anything he can learn of his character, personal feelings, outlook, mannerisms, speech, and thoughts. Later the actor gets so involved that, in order to be most convincing, he must become the person. He tries to understand how that man thought, to imagine what he felt, to see things through his eyes. The actor tries to put himself in place of the character in order to understand him so much that the portrayer and the portrayed become one. Lincoln is speaking and acting through him. And so some actors describe this experience; living the part to the extent that, even when they leave the stage or set, they go home as the character. And the character may even be fictional, where even more imagination is required to make him “real” than an actual person. Some ...

By God O Rama ~ G uys, do you think your wife is slipping out the back door for some extra-marital action? No need to hire a private eye. God has just the solution! It’s found in Numbers chapter 5, verses 11 through 27: Step 1: Bring your wife to the priest with an offering of barley meal. Step 2: Have the priest make a potion by mixing holy water with dirt he swept off the floor. Step 3: Put the barley in your wife's hands and uncover her head. Step 4: Have the priest tell your wife that if she's been unfaithful, “This water that causes the curse shall go into thy bowels, to make thy belly to swell, and thy thigh to rot.” Step 5: Make your wife say, “Amen. Amen.” Step 6: Have the priest write the curse in a book, then blot it out with the potion of gray, dirty holy water. Step 7: Have the priest take the barley out of your wife's hands and wave it before the Lord. Step 8: Make her drink the disgusting dirt and holy water sludge. Step 9: Now watch ...

By Age of Reason ~ "You've been lying to me all these years about your faith. There's no way you EVER believed. You choose not to believe because you don't want anyone over you...controlling you. Are you having an affair?" M y wife's reaction to my recent personal revelation surprised me...but, then again, I really kind of expected it. Blogs from this site, as well as others, had pretty much told me what to expect from those still inside the cult. Still, it stung enough to make me somewhat defensive. I'm not sure why I felt the need to defend my early, incorrect beliefs, but defend them I would... I had been a "fundy" for almost 20 years. I'd raised all of our children under the weight of the "good" book. I had been a trustee, deacon, and a Sunday school teacher and at one time had considered the ministry. Some months ago, I had set myself upon a quest...a quest I was quite sure would strengthen my faith. My quest was to fi...

By Daniel out of the Lion's Den ~ I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Mechanical Engineering. I have a Master of Business Administration degree in Executive Management. I am highly skilled at performing on piano, guitar and saxophone. I am a certified Project Management Professional. My I.Q. is 132, qualifying for membership into Mensa. Yet, I have never felt so stupid and foolish as I do today. For 30 years, all my adult life, I have subscribed to the teaching that the creation story in the Book of Genesis literally occurred in six 24 hour days. To not believe, they said, is to deny the power of the Almighty God of the Universe. To not believe, they said, would render the entire Bible full of falsehoods. To not believe, they said, would set your soul on a slippery slope on which your faith would fail, putting you at risk of eternal damnation. Looking back, I see that believing in the 6x24 hour days of creation provided a foundation for believing that everything e...

By Ian L ~ H ello everyone, it's been a long time. I submitted a testimony nearly five years ago on June 2, 2008. I had just recently left Christianity behind, and was concerned about how to tell my wife and family the good (from my perspective, at least) news. Happily, it wasn't long before my wife deconverted as well. Since then, she's been a constant ally in my life as far as my views are concerned. It's great to have a partner that you can fully share your ideas with without fear of offending them. I consider myself very lucky. When I submitted that testimony, I had only just begun to have a taste of what awaited me. Behind the shroud of belief, reality is so small, so limited. Possibilities are few, and cognitive inhibitions are many. But once one is freed from those shackles, the universe gets so much bigger! All-encompassing religious 'explanations' recede and wonderful mystery flows in to take their place. What was once superfluous deta...

By Al Dano ~ T his community of agnostics , atheists and those somewhere in between has been "extremely" helpful to me in my own deconversion process. I've been reading your testimonies for several years now and have never presented mine. So here goes. The following is an email that I sent to a "friend" that is still a very deluded Christian. What prompted my email to him was a statement that he made to a mutual friend last week, in my presence, stating that people in this country who don't accept and agree with the Judeo-Christian ethics of this country are free to leave and find a more suitable country to live (he's obviously been watching too much Fox News ). I have to admit that he had no clear understanding as to where I stood regarding my previous Christian faith so I bit my tongue that night. Over the last several years though I stopped discussing religion with Jay as we had previously done so that should have tipped him off. What he said ...

By N. Clark ~ M y story begins 25 years ago when my mother married her second husband.Well let me back up a bit before that so you understand the context of my tale. The earliest origins for my tale begin in late October 1958 when my grandfather was having a crisis of faith. My grandfather,who was a minister, much like his father before him, and his father before him, and his...*snore* sorry fell asleep there for a second, suffice it to say it there were many generations of ministers/presbyters/pastors/priests/reverends/etc. in my family's background. His crisis of faith came from his determination to no longer follow Calvinism but to find respite in the Lutheran tradition (trust me it's a can of worms theologically speaking). So when my mother was born in 1959 she was the first child born into his family that was baptized Lutheran. Now because of this my mom had some interesting ideas about "theological institutions" in daily life, her being raised Lutheran but...

By Lilly Black ~ I n Christianity (and other religions), sin is a huge problem. It forms the backbone of the entire belief system. We have sinned, and thus need a savior of some kind to save us from our sin and the punishment for it. People who follow that belief must overcome "sin" with the help of the deity. Without this sin, there is no need for the deity or the religion. It's a straw man: It creates a problem that doesn't exist so that we need a deity with a solution that is not needed. Sounds a lot like politics, actually. We are saved from a problem that does not exist, and thus we think we are free- even if we have actually been bogged down with more restrictions. When I was a missionary in Scotland, we took classes on evangelism so we could witness on the street. One thing we learned was that "The cure is worthless until people understand the disease." Before we talked about the "gift of salvation", we had to make people understand ...

by Andrew Aaboe ~ D o you believe in a god? I don't. I used to believe in a god that loved me and the world and that took care of mankind. I used to be very strong in that conviction and every week I would be in church worshiping the god of the Bible. I used to spend loads of time thinking about god and the Bible and our place in this world. I would also tithe and make a real effort to spread Christianity. Going to church used to be the highlight of my week, a place of refuge from the “evil” in the world and the place where Christians go to worship God with other believers. Now I can say without equivocation: I don't believe in a god(s). Does not being religious now mean my life is meaningless and devoid of any kind of real hope? No, I don't believe that it is. What has happened is that I now have a more realistic view of the world and my tiny place in it. I now understand that humanity is but one species on this planet and I have realized how small humans really are...