Sent in by Heather It says it all in the save title really. The belief? In Christianity and a God in general. I was in youth club a few months ago and you know what? The same thing happened that has been going on for the past year, ever since I turned 19. I kept thinking: ‘Are they even listening to themselves?’ and ‘Bollocks’ I think I would have liked to believe when my faith began to fall for the first time; but I’d rather know the truth. I don’t want to waste my life. What they said that day was true, when the minister gave a list of reasons of why so few young people are Christians, many people don’t want to waste their lives when they are young. I’m the same. I’m 20 years old you know? There are things I can do now I’ll be laughed at for in 15 years time. I am at the best age stage apparently. When you’re old enough to do a lot of things yet young enough to get away with being a bit stupid now and again. The fact is, I’ve read that books the “case for faith” before. Yeah those el...

Sent in by Hannah I am currently trying to begin the process of leaving a Christian cult and I wanted to share my situation with people that might be able to understand and hopefully offer some advice even. I was born into the cult and brainwashed for my entire childhood by my parents (whom I still love by the way) who are very involved members. If you have seen the film "Jesus Camp" that is a very close depiction of what my life was like. We had extremely strict rules in my house....for example, my sister and I were not allowed to talk to boys (we had to be silent if they talked to us), we could not lock our doors, if we asked questions to our parents they would not usually answer, we could not attend sex ed or anything related to evolution or DARE in school (if we heard someone else talking about things like that we had "sinned")....that's the idea. I was completely miserable but my siblings and I, having not been exposed to rational things, did not know ...

Sent in by Shaida I grew up in a rural area, and everyone went to church. How you felt about god was never discussed, you just went. My family is large, and we care about one another deeply, and the preacher always said that love was a sign of god, so I thought god was wonderful, loving, kind, welcoming, just like family. It was a nice dream. But adulthood brings challenges, and I saw firsthand, many times, that Christian lives may be no better than "heathen" lives, and that Christians may hurt others WITH and BECAUSE OF Christianity, yet still claim that Christianity is all about love. I began to think that Christianity was all about itself. It was about replication, not really people, but it hides behind it's so-called brotherly love to propagate itself. My fears were confirmed when my Grandmother died. She was the most gentle woman, and had 55 descendants - some religious, some not, yet everyone loved her deeply. She was religious, but she never spoke about god t...

Sent in by Ex-Pastor Dan I may be the longest term, fundamentalist Christian to ever make it OUT! After about 50 years of total brainwashing, I am FREE! No more guilt, no more fear, no more unanswered questions, no more judging, no more holier-than-thou condescension, no more self-inflicted ignorance. I was born and raised in a pentecostal, fundamentalist church. I went to church services 5 times a week. I was singing in gospel groups by the time I was 15, and by the time I was 33, I was an ordained minister. My only salvation (no pun intended) was due to two things: I was always a truth-seeker and at 24 I met and married the most wonderful woman in the world. Together, over the next 30 years, we helped each other come out of the "fairy tale world" and into the light of REAL TRUTH. I am so thrilled to have found this site. I was re-reading Christopher Hitchins' " God is not Great " (my new bible), and I noticed in the back acknowledgments, a phras...

A testimonial by Franciscan Monkey This is probably on the long side, but I’d like to present some details of my journey from fundamentalist Christianity to atheism. My early religious upbringing was in a United Methodist church in New England. The church was small, and had more of a social atmosphere than religious. There was no serious Bible study going on, at least as far as I could tell at my young age, and most of the sermons centered on doing good to others in a rather general sense. There was no talk of hell. There was no talk of salvation, or of a need for salvation. Jesus, while he was considered the Son of God, came to earth primarily to show us God’s love, and to encourage us to love one another. The “Good Samaritan” story was one of the most popular. My parents divorced when I was four and, as was typical for that time, my mother received full custody of my younger brother and me. My mother was remarried when I was nine, to a truly wonderful man who also turned out to...

Sent in by Jerry S Quick background: -36 yrs. old & grew up in a very strict Christian household. -I always knew I had my own analytical mind, but my parents & the church at large found the only way to heel me (as in a dog) was to use an over abundance of guilt & the 'fire & brimstone' method. -Tried to fit into the pathology of the Christian mindset, but all along, all the stuff that seemed to be doing it for others, just didn't connect with me. -2007: came across an e-book that finally hit the nail on the head for me. Anyway, as I mentioned, I am very analytical, but somehow I got brainwashed into the whole hocus pocus of the prayer & faith argument. 'Just keep praying' my mother always warned me. 'You need to just have faith,' I heard from almost everyone else. OK, but those 'solutions' just didn't seem to be logical or make any real difference. I reasoned that for the this whole thing to be of any use, the bible must ser...

Sent in by Marie-Louise A Christian friend of mine was shocked and horrified when I recently told him that instead of "readying myself for the next spiritual level", as he is, I am rather calling in to question everything I have ever learnt and ever believed. His response was that it is not so much about the contradictions in the bible, or the fact that the biblegod of the OT and the biblegod of the NT don't match at all, but the relationship you have with Him that counts. Apparently he uses the bible only as a reference book. He then advised me to "ask, and you shall receive". Guaranteed. No doubts. And I started thinking. I have spent night after sleepless night asking for a confirmation that all of this is actually true. I would have been happy with a warm and fuzzy feeling if nothing else! I begged for God to convince me through the Holy Spirit that it was not just a myth. Nothing. Nada. Not a squeak. My deconversion did not come as a whim. I did not wake ...

Sent in by Ellis Kim (Everglaze) My Anti-Testimony (Full Version) First of all, Christianity is like being covered in a black sheet of thick cloth with a blindfold around your eyes. While in the darkness, you're driven by fear and confusion. It's only after you hear the reassuring words of someone claiming to be your saviour that you feel at ease in this current state. But, having seen nothing, you're left with no other option except to concur with the stranger's comforting instructions. Eventually, you're able to adapt to your current state of black cloth and blindfold, because you have someone to rely on. However, the deeper you're immersed into the stranger's reality, the more you lose your own. Thus, the only way to return to the reality that you once knew and not some hopeful fantasy, is to get rid of the black cloth and blindfold, eliminating fear and regaining freedom. I was born and raised in a Christian home, so I learned about Biblical tales at an ...

Sent in by Hells Bells I was brought up as nominally Christian, attending a CofE infant school, with a brief spell at a Church of England (CofE) primary school before we moved to the “countryside” and the relatively secular state education system. My secondary school (an all-boys boarding school) was also CofE – one of those “peculiars” where the school had its own ordained chaplain and wasn’t considered part of any parish. I fell into evangelical Christianity when I was 13. Puberty was hitting, and I suppose I was confused by what was happening to me - wanting a female puberty to happen instead of the male one yet, as so often in my life, rationalising that desire out in terms of the practicalities should it actually happen. I was lonely, bullied, confused and I didn't fit into school. Reading the “Knowing God Personally” booklet made perfect sense with what I had been taught up to that point. If Jesus had the answers then he could sort me out, give me purpose. The convers...

Sent in by Joseph You remember Cypher? The traitor from the movie called The Matrix? There was a moment in the film when Cypher tells Neo..."Who oh why didn't I take the BLUE pill". Neo laughs at first...and then he becomes quiet...because he was silently wishing the same thing" Remember that moment in the film? Well, I had my Cypher "I wish I took the blue pill" moment today...of all days Christmas. I ruined my parent's Christmas Day and I feel very guilty. I've been harboring doubts about the existence of God for a very long time and today...I felt I had to express my feelings. I had to let them know what I felt...and now I feel guilty. I love my parents very much...but too much faith in religion and all belief involved and I had it. I had to tell them what I thought was the truth. The truth is, from my perspective...God does NOT exist. I feel guilty because I told them this on Christmas Day. Am I wrong for saying this to them? Especially on a day...

Sent in by Gabe I broke free from Christian fundamentalism in April 2006. I was a third year student at the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, KY. This seminary is considered by many to be the intellectual hub of evangelical seminaries. The president of the seminary, Dr. Albert Mohler, has been called "the leading intellectual voice for evangelicals in America." He has been a frequent guest on Larry King Live, debating controversial topics such as gay marriage, abortion, religious tolerance, etc. Dr. William Dembski also teaches at the seminary, who is widely considered the world's leading proponent of Intelligent Design. Dr. Dembski was my professor in the fall semester of 2005. But with one year left to complete a Masters of Divinity in Theology, I could no longer ignore the questions that were piling up in my mind. My questions and doubts troubled me to the point that I simply could no longer preach and teach something that I wasn't sure if belie...