It's a Wonderful Life


By Webmdave ~

I grew up in the 1960’s in what I thought was a normal stable family, nicely accessorized with a father who went to work every day (at short-term, low-paying jobs) and a mother who stayed home to keep house. Over time I came to realize my father suffered from a learning disability coupled with a disturbingly explosive temper. Today he might be diagnosed as having lower cognitive and emotional quotients. My mother’s intelligence was at or above average, but her personality was heavily seasoned with many of the symptoms of Narcissistic personality disorder. Although fiercely committed to their marriage vows (divorce was a big taboo for them), the tenuous poverty-level lifestyle was frequently accented by shouting, fighting, and hitting – a routinely colorful attribute for our normal, “stable" family.

Early on I opted to cope with the stressful atmosphere by wetting the bed and playing with matches.  At about 11 years old something changed. My grandmother invited me to a youth event at her church featuring a showing of the recently released World Wide Pictures movie “For Pete’s Sake.” The evangelical movie made a big impression on me. I repented of my sins, accepted Christ into my heart and dove enthusiastically into both Billy Graham evangelicalism and the Jesus Movement. I was convinced I had a personal relationship with the creator of the universe and his Son. Enuresis and pyromania were suddenly a thing of the past. Christianity was my new reality (and coping mechanism), and nothing was going to dissuade me from following my Lord Jesus Christ. At least not for the next 30 years, anyway.

So why in the world would I hang in there with Christianity for so long?    

According to Psychology Today, priming, the brain's selective filtering system, makes it difficult to see evidence that contradicts existing beliefs. This is because the brain, when primed by a belief, shuts down competing neural networks. As a result, people create their own version of the truth, and their self-concept is formed by beliefs about who they are and who they can be. People create narratives about themselves based on these beliefs, and they become the main character in their own story, writing the script based on their self-concept. We create our reality through our thoughts, feelings, and actions.

It's been a long road, but I no longer believe in the validity of Christianity, nor do I subscribe to the Law of Attraction or any other magical thinking. We cannot control the things that happen to us, but we can control how we interpret the events in our lives. And, we can decide how we respond to them.

These days I typically say that I am lucky. Regardless of the hardships I may have experienced in the past or will experience in the future, I see myself as one of the few lucky ones that got the opportunity to live. Many billions of potential humans are never born, never experience the ups and downs of life, never have the opportunity to experience either adversity or prosperity. Some might argue that never existing may be preferable to facing adversity, but the great George Bailey and I strongly disagree. Adversity, no matter the severity, is an opportunity to become a brave, resilient person of good character.

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved.” – HELLEN KELLER

“Rock bottom became the solid foundation in which I built my life.” – J.K. ROWLING

“I can be changed by what happens to me, but I refuse to be reduced by it.” – MAYA ANGELOU

“The gem cannot be polished without friction, nor man perfected without trials.” – CHINESE PROVERB

“In the middle of a difficulty lies opportunity.” – ALBERT EINSTEIN

“My attitude is that if you push me towards something that you think is a weakness, then I will turn that perceived weakness into a strength.” – MICHAEL JORDAN

“Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome.” – BOOKER T. WASHINGTON

“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.” – VIKTOR FRANKL 

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