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An "Earthquake" in My Faith

By Srdjan ~

Firstly, excuse me for my bad English, I am citizen of an ex-communist country. My name is Srdjan (derived from greek Sergios, meaning Saint from Hyos) and surname Michailovic (like famous writer Fyodor Michailovic Dostoevsky, looooool..)

During my school years atheism was imposed to us pupils. I thought that humankind during thousands of years believed in God, and that my teachers must be wrong, that they cannot be smarter than many previous generations which believed in Christ, so I started to read and study Bible daily, and regularly attend orthodox Church (at least twice a week). I had met many interesting people there, and we all thought that we were right and the rest of the world was wrong. All we hated atheism, and communists (in spite of evangelical "love your enemies") for their imposing dialectical materialism and evolution as final truth that must be learned in school as "scientific" worldview. For my opposition to majority in school I had problems with my teachers (they were informed by someone that group of pupils attend Church under guidance of "some" Michailovic). I was stubborn in defending my faith. I remember that I responded them that religion is constitutional right of every person in the state and that they should let me to do what I appreciate. I had high estimations in subjects that we learned and they lessen their pressure on me.

Next problem occurred during my service in army. That was communist army. Military officer found my hidden Bible which I secretly had read ( I could not live without Bible, the Word of God as I firmly believed in those times.). I had been summoned by officers of my company, and was threatened with sending to jail, because any religious literature was forbidden to posses during military service. I proudly responded that even in jail I would read my Scripture, that Christ taught people to love each other...I was proud to be like martyrs in old Roman army. In the end they did not send me to the (military) jail, but they took away my Bible.

When I finished my military service I continued to study scriptures and endeavor to live Christian life. Few girls wanted me to date with them, but I refused because they did not share my Christian beliefs, although I liked them very much. It was some kind of psychological conflict in my soul, not so easy. And I began to pursue bachelor degree in Chemistry, I became young student.

First "earthquake" in my faith was in considering unfulfilled prophecies of Isaiah that Tyre and Damascus will be destroyed by God. All we know that these towns are still standing whole, and are of the oldest towns on the earth. After that came mismatched genealogies (Matthew an Luke), many other contradictions in Bible, earth and herbal world created before Sun and stars, ancient primitive three tiered cosmology, unicorns and other fictional monsters in the book of prophet Isaiah, unanswered prayers and so on, and so on.....

I began to consider myself an agnostic. I suppose that there is some kind of High Power in the Universe, some "transcendental reality", but no one know what it is. No philosopher in the whole world does not know...Some say it is matter, some say it is eternal and unbounded energy or something else...Maybe it is..But, THERE IS SOMETHING.I think it is important to know that mystery HAS SOME SOLUTION. Maybe humankind will never attain the answer. Maybe will...I do not know.

In any case I feel freed from religious restrictions in my behavior. Leastwise I may date any woman regardless of her attitude towards Christianity .