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Bye bye Bing Bong

By Spludge ~

So I was bawling a couple minutes ago.

I've come across posts from angry ex Christians who say you might as well be praying to a pink elephant instead of God. Bing Bong from Disney Pixar's Inside Out is the pink elephant.

Bing Bong and I had an amazing relationship for about nine years. I called him by three names, Holy Spirit, God or Jesus. At the beginning Bing Bong made perfect sense, he came through and manifested in certain ways during parts of my life which made his perpetually invisible existence so believably tangible. We were close as thieves. Having so many other people believe in him helped too.

Then I started full time work, had problems, grew up, moved out, grew up again, had more problems, went through some more hardship and existential angst, then grew up again. With every blow Bing Bong's tangibility weakened just a little bit more. I tried to revive him and hold on of course, but then something started to change. Bing Bong began acting like a bit of a jerk; ignoring me when I asked for answers, giving me completely false information, and not manifesting in anyway consistent with how good, honest reliable and faithful people said he was. Basically relying on Bing Bong stressed me out, screwed me over or did nothing at best. At many points I was sure he didn't want to take me to the moon, but dump me in the pit of doom and leave me to 'earn' my way out by grovelling more (or bossing him more as certain prayer styles encourage) to him. He didn't make sense.

I don't know how it snapped so quick, but two days ago Bing Bong was the crux of my belief system. Today he is not compatible in any way with my experience of reality or understanding of life. Our time together was amazing, exhilarating...definitely more good times than bad. It's devastating to see him fade. As incompatible and irrelevant he is to me now, I'm really going to miss believing in him.