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Entering The ' NO - FUN ZONE '

OR, 'That Damned Humorless Bible'

By summerbreeze ~

I have seen fundamentalists defend their Bible with a tenacity close to that of a Mother Bear protecting her cub. However, there is one thing that believers cannot defend, no matter how they dance around the issue......that is the complete lack of humor in the Bible.

Years ago, while in Bible Study, I actually heard a woman say, "Jesus has a subtle sense of humor, you just have to look for it." Then the 20 or so Bobbleheads around the table bobbled their heads up and down.

How odd that their God, in all his wisdom, deleted humor, since laughter is the ONE constant that humans share, no matter what or where the culture. The need to laugh is in our DNA, and its health benefits are astounding!

When researchers from the University of Maryland Medical Center in Baltimore tested the "humor quotient" of 300 people, they found that those with Heart Disease were 40% less likely to laugh and less likely to find humor in everyday life than those without cardiovascular problems.

"There is strong evidence that people with chronic or terminal illnesses use humor to promote healing, and that humor does have healthy benefits, such as improved pain tolerance and improved immune response."

* * * * * * * Just what does laughter do ? * * * * * *

Researchers found
  1. It lowers blood pressure
  2. Increases blood flow & oxygenation of the blood
  3. Gives a workout to the diaphragm
  4. Reduces certain stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline
  5. Increases the response of tumor and disease killing cells such as Gamma-interferon and T - cells
  6. Defends against respiratory infections
  7. Increases memory and learning
  8. Improves alertness, creativity and memory

Norman Cousins ( American political Journalist, Author, etc.) in his book "Anatomy Of An Illness," found that watching old Marx Brothers comedies helped him feel better, and get some pain-free sleep when he was seriously ill. This is because laughter helps the pituitary gland release its own pain-suppressing opiates.

How can a so-called "Loving" God, omit something so powerfully good for mankind in his "GOOD BOOK" ? ?

How can his sheep make up pitiful excuses for this, and delude themselves into thinking that "Jesus's humor is subtle" ?


Mark Twain:
"I cannot see how a man of any large degree of humorous perception can ever be religious."

Robert G. Ingersoll:
"No man of any humor ever founded a religion."

Alfred North Whitehead:
"The total absence of humor from the Bible is one of the most singular things in all literature."

W. Somerset Maugham:
"I cannot believe in a God who has neither humor nor common sense."

Lewis Black ( comedian ):
"You know, that's why our enemy is so frightening----they have no humor. This is a group of people who wandered the desert for thousands and thousands of years and never once ran into a knock-knock joke."

Ayatollah Khomeini (Iranian religious - political leader)
( hmmmmmmm, yeah, DEADLY being the key word here)...Islam has its own issues, the Qur'an is not exactly a chuckle-fest either.

For me, the only laughter I ever received from the Bible, was looking at the picture of Paris Hilton entering a courthouse holding a Bible in the crick of her arm, next to her silicone breast ( facing outward, of course! )....I still chuckle just thinking about that vision.

I, like a lot of other people, suffer from mild to moderate depression. I have chosen not to take meds. for this, instead, I try to bolster my mood by looking for humor ~~ whether watching my tapes of I Love Lucy, Cheers, black & white Andy Griffith DVD's of "The Kids In The Hall"...and movies such as "Planes, Trains & Automobiles"....well, all I know is that afterward I feel a hell of a lot more mellow & relaxed ( merely by laughing ) and the stress of being 'down in the dumps ' just melts away !

So go ahead and laugh, find humor wherever you can. Lets really piss scowling God off-----we just may end up being a lot healthier, and happier than our solemn pew-sitting cousins.


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