Out of church, now what?

By Tapout03 ~

Hi there. I'm new to this website. I don't know how to start, but here we go:

I was born and raised in a Christian home. I used to play in the worship team at my old church. At 18 I went through a time where I just stopped going, because I just wanted to live my life how I wanted and I wanted to party -- all until I hit rock bottom. I got back on my feet in this other Christian church that uses a Columbian method called G12 by Cesar Castellanos. I encourage everyone to read about this crap; this has been the worst form of exploitation on churchgoers all in the name of "Jesus".

I thank god, if he exists, that I got the help I needed (a positive influence) in this church, but I quickly saw that they were instilling fear in people to keep them from leaving. The church constantly pressured people to bring in new converts, because if you didn't, then you would be frowned upon and thrown that verse about the "unfruitful tree."

The pastor's wife was like the Queen of Hearts in Alice in Wonderland, because she practically runs the church when the Pastor really should. She would kick people out left and right all because people would have boyfriend or girlfriend relationships with out the permission of the pastors and the church leaders. What kind of controlling crap is this?

Well, I've been out of this church for the past three years and I've grown so much. I've come to question if there really is a god or not and if Christianity was even the "right" belief. This new belief I have has made me feel as if I back-stabbed my family and myself and it hurts to deny things you where thought as a child, but this feeling is fading away little by little. Even though I haven't gone to church for three years, I still don't know how a non-Christian person should live his or her life. I now listen to the teachings of my newly favorite comedian, GEORGE CARLIN but I still feel alone with no friends that share my same mentality. My girlfriend and I both share almost the same views, because we both left the same church.

Someone please give me advice. Thank you