Sent in by Roger W Right now I am in the middle of my deconversion. It all started when I began a critical study of Matthew 24 and the word "generation." After hours of study, I began to realize that Jesus meant to return in the first century. There is NO other way to look at it. I started bringing this up with my preacher brother and missionary sister and my mother(the holiest of holies in the family). I even had the audacity to say that I didn't think the great flood happened or that Balaam ever got in an argument with his ass. Maybe,just maybe a parrot. But an ASS? No way. All HELL broke loose. How dare I question such things. Ex-Christians have pointed out to me that most believers hardly ever even read the Bible. They use misdirection and rely on beliefs that they were taught from childhood. I am currently doing a critical study of the entire Bible. If this turns me into a heathen,so be it. I never felt comfortable as a Christian, and doubts a...

Sent in by Alan Back in 1993 I was a pastoral worker in a church overseas. My then wife and I decided that we should return to the UK. The day after we returned she left me. I have not seen her since. As I was in my home town I looked for support from the church I had previously attended there. When none was forthcoming I looked to other churches and found none there either. This situation continued until February '94. During this time I started to analyze my Christian experience. The more I looked the more I realised that the I could not truthfully quote one instance when one of the promises of the gospel had happened directly to me. I decided then to clear my life of things that where holding me back. Part of this excess baggage was Christianity. Appropriately enough this was on the 24th February. 10 years to the day since my "conversion". Of course the reaction of the Christians I knew at that time was that I had become the Devil incarnate. Really I didn't feel an...

Sent in by Qboo John I've been a proud atheist for well over 10 years now (I'm 26) but I can still recall the very moment that the penny dropped. I was raised and schooled as a protestant (Church of England) which included Sunday school which was taught by my mother. Whilst I remember it vividly, I'm not sure of my age but I'd have been 9 or 10. I was stood in a cold stone church on a Sunday morning when I wanted to be playing football or cricket and the dour and obedient congregation were going through the usual brain-washed call-and-response chanting. We came across a section I'd disliked in prior services but this time it hit me hard, 'We are not worthy so much as to gather up the crumbs under thy Table.' Even at my young age I can recall my internal dialogue asking 'What on earth are we doing here? Who is this person? Why have I seen heard Him or seen anything of Him?' My father has always taught me to think for myself and to trust only what I c...

Sent in by Jennifer V My journey to becoming an atheist isn't really and amazing story. My brother and I grew up in a home where religion was never really discussed. It was just assumed that we were catholics like our parents were. I never asked questions about "God" or "Jesus", but believed what my parents did. It wasn't until I was 16 and met my future husband(who is now my ex-husband) that I really explored religion and Christianity. My ex-husband and his family were devout Christians and it was expected that anyone he was dating would be also. I was preached to and eventually and was "saved". I repented all my sins and accepted "Jesus" into my heart. I didn't really know why I did it, I just knew that I hadn't heard anything else, so why wasn't Christianity correct? At this point, I was probably 19 years old and ready to get married to the guy who is now my ex-husband. After we got married, I started taking some ev...

Sent in by Mike R This is the conclusion that I have come to after thirty some odd years of Christianity. To understand the “why” I offer my testimony. I became a Christian at the tender age of 11. My father had just become a Christian, and so naturally he taught me about Jesus, hell, and Gods gift of eternal life. Being a child I just knew that I wanted to go to heaven, so I prayed the prayer. I accepted Jesus and starting my life as a Christian. I took all of this teaching to heart. I often went to bed early so that I could read my bible. I loved to read the four gospels. In my mind, these were the actual words of Jesus, so that is what I wanted to read. Nightly I would read and pray until sleep came upon me. However, as I grew into my teens I was starting to become depressed. Why? It seams my dad could not stay put in any one place. So my family moved every summer. Often because we did not have much money we would end up stranded and living in the car. I can remember going two or th...

Sent in by Andrew H Hello all! I am a former Evangelical Christian. I was a leader in my high school youth group, I went to a Christian college, and even spent about 10 months overseas as a missionary. I was a "strong, growing" Christian. I tried to convert (successfully in some cases) my "unsaved" friends in high school, I led discipleship classes, I didn't have sex, alcohol, cigarettes, etc... My passion was traveling, and thus I naturally felt as if God had "called" me to be a missionary, which I did for nearly a year. After my experience in Christian College and on the mission field, I got engaged to a Christian woman from a strong Christian family. From the day I was born until then, my whole life my mind was in the "Christian Bubble". Then one Saturday in February of 2004, I stumbled upon a web journal of a girl who was traveling around the world for a year. I spent nearly 6 hours reading every entry. She was not a missionary, sh...

Sent in by Jamie G Years ago I remember sitting in a church service. It wasn't different than any other church service I had been to, but I was introduced to a term, and a group of people, I had never heard of before..... secular humanists. The way the preacher was talking you would have thought there was some huge underground conspiracy ran by these people to take over the world and set themselves up as God. For a long time I believed, because it never crossed my mind to look it up for myself, that secular humanists believed they were each gods, like some kind of new age woowoo. Living in my small town I had never met anyone who flat out blatantly denied being a Christian, or didn't believe in God. I met Methodists, Baptists, Presbyterians, and Catholics, and I thought this was diversity, but to go to college and actually meet Wiccans, Muslims, Buddhists....and the dreaded ATHEIST and secular humanist was almost too much for me. While in high school I did spend one school year...

Sent in by Sean My family is supremely Christian. Roman Catholic to be precise, easily one of the most depressing religions on the planet. Or as Kevin Smith's 'Dogma' put it. “Catholics don't celebrate their faith, they mourn it.” I attended catholic school for eight years, my great aunt was a nun and the principal at the school I attended. My faith was lost years ago. It wasn't a jarring, or particularly instantaneous event, it was a slow, and rational process. I was left scarred and nearly destroyed by my religious experiences. I was told that my sexual desires were evil, and that relieving myself in any way was evil, and would lead to my eternal damnation. I was, apparently, not even allowed to want to touch a woman until I was married. Losing faith has made me a better person. I am far more tolerant of different lifestyles than any 'faithful' person I've ever met. I am calmer, more at peace, and much more fulfilled than I ever was as a Christan. ...

Sent in by Chris I was born into a Christian family, which also believed in the Book of Mormon, but was adamantly opposed to the Mormon church and their "wayward" beliefs (go figure). Eventually I came to see that the Mormonism was a hoax, and was able to reject the portion of my beliefs that stemmed from the Book of Mormon. Part of this realization was a result of my wife's influence in my life. Recently I've also come to realize that most (if not all) of Christianity is also a hoax. After about a year's absence from going to church and Bible reading, I recently opened up my Bible to read through the Book of John. I was shocked at how much nonsense I read that day. I had absolutely no desire at the time to believe that Christianity was false, but after reading that and many things since then that opened my eyes, I can't rationalize my beliefs through the Bible. It just doesn't work. Either the God "of the Bible" exists, and had allowed a false, ...

Sent in by JG First... please, please, please (!!!) read Carl Sagan's "The Demon-Haunted World." He does such an excellent job explaining the difference between science and religion. This book is so incredible. Okay, and now... I am getting lots of emails from people wanting to know THE one thing that made me ''give up on God''. They read my blogs about why I deconverted, but still wanted to know what the final blow was. I hate to disappoint, but there wasn't one simple thing that did it. I wasn't mad at ''God'', I wasn't mad at other Christians, there wasn't a prayer that wasn't answered, and no one died in my family. Giving up on a belief in a god for emotional reasons seems immature to me. Of course, I mention science and philosophy as major players, but, as my wife and I were talking about it the other day, it seems THE reason that guided me to where I am at is my passion to know THE truth of our world and existen...

Sent in by Joe B At about age eight, I was taken with the grandeur of the Catholic church, signed on as an acolyte, took to dressing early on Sunday and heading down to watch the mysteries of the faith unfold at the early morning service. I was on to something new and important; something that was ancient and powerful to my senses. Enter Vatican II, guitar strumming nuns, adolescence and a move to the suburbs, and my attention went elsewhere. At 18, as a private in the Army, I found a higher way in the evangelical faith. An emotion laden barracks room experience showed me that, while Catholicism had wandered from the truth and power of God, I was now onto it again, and I threw myself into the Bible study and new church experiences. My new life was in contrast to the day-to-day realities of the post-Vietnam Army, with its prolific drinking and drugs. God had called me out. Of course, I was still a young man and ended up in a sexual relationship with a young woman. My faith induced...

Sent in by angrykobolt I was born a few years after my mom became a Christian. You’d notice this by our names all my older siblings except my brother were non-christian names, my name and my brother’s are bible inspired. The environment I grew up in was mystical to say the least. My mom was a founding member of one of the biggest evangelical churches here in the Philippines. She was a bible teacher too. As far as I can remember I was being taught about the scripture and (because she’s a loving mom) I associated it with home and identity. To add to that my older siblings used to tell me stories of how different she was before being ‘born again’ and that deepened my gratitude. During this time I had cancer. I was only 2 ½ years old. Mom told me the entire congregation prayed over me once the news was out. We stood on the pulpit while pastors laid hands on me and the rest of the people stretched out their hands. It was beautiful growing up in an environment saturated with love. My...

Sent in by Joe Zamecki I was raised by my devoutly Christian parents and sent to two private Catholic schools before high school. I don't remember the name of the kindergarten, and it's long since gone anyway, but for grades 1-8, I was sent to Holy Ghost Catholic School, in the Holy Ghost Parish, in the Houston-Galveston Diocese. From the very beginning, Christianity was mandatory for me, and everyone else I knew. I believed it all at first, mainly because I was a child at the time, but also because until I went to high school, I had never met any non-Christians. My religious education was narrowly Christian in scope, to the exclusion of information about other religions and philosophies 99% of the time. We had religion classes where we studied the Bible (Good News Version) and another religion textbook. Religion classes were dominated by blatant Christian indoctrination. Around the time I was in fourth grade, I began to think more critically about religion and the clergy membe...

Sent in by Christine I grew up in a Christian family but we never belonged to any particular church . In my early youth I remember going to different protestant churches until my dad, a retired teacher and somewhat reclusive, decided to "church" us at home. Every Sunday we had church service and bible study around the dinning room table. It was very sweet actually, it bonded us as a family. I thought Christianity was all about the love of Jesus. By my latter teens the home church ended due to my dad's health, so I began my own personal journey into Christianity. Where did I belong? I began to read up on all the different denominations, visited many churches leaving disappointed, sometimes in tears, other times offended or completely freaked out (ex. speaking in tongues!) I never felt like I belonged anywhere, so I read the bible myself, listened to Christian music (how I met my husband, long story) and Christian radio, on which I found a ministry that I agreed with. It wa...

By Michael I did not come to my decision to leave the church lightly. It came after much thought and careful study of both the Bible and evidence. I have had my own doubts and unanswered questions for a long time before I took my current job and it is not because of any person here that I suddenly 'fell away' or was 'misled by the devil'. The plain fact is that the Bible does not line up against reality or nature. Its origins are dubious and the pages are inconsistent. It does not take a scientist to see that. There are many who have left the church or rejected Christ because they didn't like it or for a number of frivolous reasons. I am not of that flock. I was on route to ministry and I LOVED JESUS. Imagine the crushing agony of finding your dearest love (of whom you fell in love with in your mind from letters), didn't exist! I was depressed for a long time, even tried to say that it was because of 'demons' or maybe it was the spirit tellin...

Sent in by Brian M. I just wanted to say thank you for this site. I've been a Christian since the age of 5, I'm now 31. I've been through it ALL!! I was raised in a mega-church in Dallas (Rockwall), TX called Church on the Rock with Dr. Larry Lea as pastor. I can undeniably admit that I've been around every single aspect of the Christian religion. Faith Movement, Pentecostal, Charismatic, Baptist, Calvinist, Armenian...I've been around. I've witnessed and taken part of healing services, church camps, slain in the spirits, speaking in tongues, Benny Hinn crusades, Rodney Howard Brown crusades, Billy Graham, Jessie Duplantis, Rod Parsley, Casey Treat, Marilyn Hickey, Kenneth Copeland, Joyce Meyer, TD Jakes, James Robison, John Hagee, Larry Lea, ....the list goes on and on. I've been exposed to a LOT of things in my lifetime when it comes to Christianity (speaking in tongues, slain in the spirit, casting out demons...all the way to conservative reformed ...

Sent in by G.C. Hello all, I am here to bear my testimony about straying from the fold. I grew up in Samoa which is probably one of the most religious (Christian) countries in the world. My parents are devout Mormons and as such I grew up indoctrinated in its teachings. It is not so bad as some people make it out to be, it is pretty much the same as any other religion, it makes stupid people think they have all the answers, good people feel better about themselves and everyone else like that homicidal monk in the Da-Vinci Code. Having visited some of the exmormon sites online, I came across a common theme with them in that many of its proponents gave it up for another sect of Christianity. That wasn't really the flavor I was looking for so I didn't spend much time there. Then I found this pot of gold. I have lurked and read so many testimonies, articles (thumbs up to DagoodS and the webmaster, you guys rock!) and stories that really hit the nail right on its head for me. I cann...

Sent in by Trudy H I am beginning a journey to find truth. The problem with religion, all religions, including Christianity, is the belief theat they have all the answers. The truth is, no one can ever have all the answers. We are all on a journey to find truth. As soon as you become part of a religion you get a "package of beliefs," and you no longer need to search for truth or answers: You are right and everyone else is wrong. Anything that stops you from thinking, growing, searching is not beneficial. Truth should cause you to open up, not close up. People come to church for friendship, fellowship, comfort, etc. which are good things to find, but it is a high price to pay if you no longer are able to challenge beliefs or search for truth. Thank-you God for opening my mind. Help me to continue to search for truth. I wrote this yesterday while sitting in my church. I have just started on this journey. I was raised in a good Christian home. It is hard for me to th...

Sent in by Lance K So I'm done with Christianity, but I have a question that I need your help with. I could give you all my reasons, but as I read the other testimonies here, my own issues resonate well with them. And really, my reasons for leaving are not why I need help. A quick but not complete summary of my reasons would be that I find atheists can have more integrity, tolerance and love than Bible believing Christians, that the search for truth has shown me that Christianity does not have it, that the god of the Old Testament is quite an A-hole, the ugly history of the church - especially the support of slavery in the US, the Christian right-wing and their hatred of gays, and of course that listening to the creation/evolution debate made me realize these people are simply not honest with themselves. So now for my question. I am 45 years old and have a great wife and three kids who are not quite with me on this whole adventure. I'm in the middle of pulling the family...

Sent in by AJ Names changed for anonymity This moment of decision was triggered by my conversation with Ryan at Erica's wedding. He was trying to pull me back into the "fold." But, the more I look, think, read, and talk, the more I am pushed away from faith. I even finally admitted to my parents last night that I don't have a clue. Their answers weren't very satisfying. They've closed their minds to make themselves happy. Their opinions and rationalizations seem senseless and misguided. They are robots, controlled and blinded by their faith. Which is sad, because they will not open their minds and really listen to what I say, instead they reply with the pre-packaged Christianese answers I rejected many months ago. After Ryan's urging, I decided that it would be a good thing to go to Great Big Church with my roommates. Hurray! All the roommates go to the same church. How harmonious! The sermon was on the "peril of falling away." AKA, you cannot le...