The Rapture Clock That Never Strikes Midnight
If prophecy forecasting were a sport, it would have the same credibility as the Cleveland Browns winning every Super Bowl from now until eternity. For at least the last century and a half, preachers and “prophecy experts” have been setting dates for the Rapture like overeager cruise directors planning a voyage that never sails.
The Latest Bust: September 23, 2025
This year’s big date was September 23 (or 24, depending on your time zone). A South African pastor named Joshua Mhlakela announced that Jesus told him directly this would be the day when believers would be “taken.”[1] TikTok and YouTube lit up with frantic “prophecy updates,” urging Christians to repent quickly or risk being left behind.
Then September 23 came. And went. Nothing. Again. Media outlets ran with the post-mortems, some in mockery, others in pity. And just like every other failed prediction, excuses flooded in: the calendar was off, the feast day was misunderstood, or the rapture happened “spiritually.”
If this were a weather forecast, no one would even bother packing an umbrella anymore.
Why This Theology Is Brand-New
Here’s the historical kicker: no early Christian would even recognize this “last days” system. The idea of a secret Rapture followed by a seven-year Tribulation is a 19th-century invention. John Nelson Darby popularized it, and the Scofield Reference Bible (1909) enshrined it in American evangelicalism. Before then, you won’t find church fathers drawing prophecy charts or linking lunar eclipses to the Antichrist.
What the Early Church Actually Said
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Paul (1 Thessalonians 4:13-18): Wrote to comfort grieving Christians, not to hand out apocalypse timelines.
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Justin Martyr (c. 100–165): Expected Christ’s return but never speculated on dates.[2]
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Irenaeus (c. 130–202): Taught resurrection hope, but emphasized perseverance over prophecy math.[3]
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Augustine (354–430): Explicitly warned against predicting times and seasons, noting: “It is rash to assert this is the last day, or to deny that it may be” (City of God, XX.30).[4]
In other words, the early church said: Stay awake, live faithfully, stop pretending you’ve cracked God’s calendar.
The 100% Failure Rate
As one modern commentator drily observed: “All of the hundreds of attempts … have a 100% failure record.”[5] The Rapture clock is like a perpetual motion machine — it gets wound up, ticks with apocalyptic urgency, and then sputters out into silence. Yet somehow, every generation buys a new one.
Sarcastic Aside
If prophets were plumbers, our sinks would still be clogged. If they were meteorologists, we’d drown. But in prophecy-land, failure doesn’t end careers — it sells sequels.
So, as we pack away September 23, 2025, let’s remember the only eschatological truth that history has proven reliable: the Rapture clock never strikes midnight.
Footnotes
[1] Associated Press, “Christians braced for Sept. 23 rapture that didn’t come” (Sept. 24, 2025).
[2] Justin Martyr, Dialogue with Trypho, ch. 80.
[3] Irenaeus, Against Heresies, V.33.
[4] Augustine, City of God, Book XX, ch. 30.
[5] Shared Veracity blog, “Will the Rapture happen on September 23-24, 2025?” (Sept. 20, 2025).