Almost an ex-Christian

By Charles ~

Well, I thought that this day will never come. I know your website from a while, but I was thinking that you were just a bunch of crazy people, really angry with God, religion and christians. Sorry about that...

Image by m@®©ãǿ►ðȅtǭǹȁðǿr◄© via Flickr

My story...well, everything started 16 years ago, when I started attending an evangelical church. My first few weeks in the church were OK, then someone asked me if I have received Jesus as saviour. I thought: "No, that I'm aware", but to them I says yes....so I guess I've started my Christian journey with a lie.

I went to different churches, denominations, I went to theological college, etc.. my life was full of ups and downs, moments of doubts, etc... I thought that that was pretty normal for a young Christian who need to growth. I went to the brethren church, Pentecostal, Baptist, Presbyterian, etc..Every time the story was the same…if I was attending a church very faithfully I was a very mature and spiritual Christian, but when I was going to difficult times or when I was asking tricky questions, I was a immature and selfish person. mmmm

During these years I was trying to get my life sorted...I'm a chef but I always refused to work on a Sunday because they told that it's the Lord's day and a Christian shouldn't work on a Sunday. I missed lots of opportunities because of that. What a pity!

I always had lots and lots of sexual urges (as normal for a healthy man) but they the church always says that any sexual activities outside a marriage was a sin. That includes masturbation of course...one pastor once said that masturbation it's a form of homosexuality...rubbish!

I never had any sex until I was 34...my first time was a disaster, because I was full of sense of guilty. Before we started I even ask god to forgive me. But then 2 weeks ago I had a beautiful sex experience with a friend of mine. And guess what, I didn’t have any sense of guilt! I was happy!

At the moment I’m struggling with a lot of doubts about almost everything:

30.000 denominations
Doctrine of Hell and eternal punishment
Hate between certain denomination
Pessimistic view of the future: believing that God is going to destroy the earth it’s not very challenging for us compare to the possibility that God is going to restore the earth.
Pessimistic approach of the faith

I’m here to learn from you. I respect you and I hope that you’ll respect the little bit of faith that I still have.

Comments

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