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To Trolls

E Chamberlain, MD, San Diego ~

I live in a world of "This-Actually-Happened," docked far from the swamp, the stagnant, the still route mapped out for you in your Noah's Ark Coloring Book... Far from the sound of your soup kitchen sermons, I have no need of your catholic catharsis, your catholic catatonia, your pleas and your pleadings, your cathedrals of your own private hell, your almighty alcatraz... Two thousand years of trials and still you would cheat me of my duly-deserved hung jury?... I am not guilty and I walk out free... Open your book and I'll put your silent god to more silence and shame... Are there a thousand verses in your holy book? Then I have a thousand arguments against it... I listened long and hard and I hear no reason in your voice that I should move my lips to the words of your song... I won't live in the hell of tortured theology... I won't stand convicted because your god can't convince me... I wouldn't think to torture another for not believing in me... Who, what deviant, what devil, came up with that?... Let your god try his own hell forever... Let him pick on someone his own size... Who am I that "god" should torture me?... But I, too, could offer myself for those hours of agony if it would truly, truly, "save" the world and I know I'll wake up eternally pain-free in a day... But it didn't, did it?... And it won't, will it?... Now back to the world of "This-Actually-Happened"... There are things to be done and you are in the way and walking backwards... If you are here to ask sincere questions in an adult conversation, sincere adult answers await you... But we have colored in all the pages of your coloring book and stayed inside the lines for a long, long time, til our crayons crumbled... And the picture we finally saw and see of your coloring book god isn't pretty...

And I see you are becoming more and more like him.

Have you come here to play jesus
To the lepers in your head?

You say
Love is a temple
Love a higher law
Love is a temple
Love the higher law

You ask me to enter
But then you make me crawl
And I can't be holding on
To what you got
When all you got is hurt

--U2, "One"


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