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You've probably heard this before...

By Josh ~

Obviously, I am preaching to the choir here, but…

Like many here, I grew up in the Christian faith (my mother was yet another who grew up Catholic and spent much of her life running from strain to strain, searching for “the truth.”) Now, I have not been to a church in decades, unless someone died or got married, and yet… That itch, that odd thing that may not be, certainly not as written, but might be in a “mad scientist” way, does scratch some.

Even though, after the divorce in 1978, I grew up quite poor ( my father is probably the poster child for deadbeat Dads, after he married his mistress – a “devout” Christian, of course… not that he is, or even claims to be, but he does play along). So, I prayed a lot, and not just for myself, but generally for my mother.

She could actually screw up a wet dream, she was that kind of person. If given three options, from pretty damn good to flat-out horrible, she would take the worst one every time, so I prayed quite a lot for her… Not that it ever worked out. Oh, but just wait until you’re dead! You’ll end up in the same place as all them mobsters! Seriously, at least they could talk about different rings of Heaven, like Dante did with Hell (like motel/hotels – you got your Motel 6, Holiday Inn, right up the chain). But, no! There’s only one, no matter how questionable you have been, as long as you REALLY mean you’re “sorry” at the bitter end.

Don’t get me wrong, Jesus seems like a cool dude – except for that whole Lazarus thing, which I always thought was screwed up – I mean, why raise a guy from the dead to be killed later? Aren’t you all-knowing? For the U.S. to be a “Christian” country anyway, what with the love of money and several Jesus quotes, such as a camel having a better chance at passing through an eye of a needle than a rich man getting into Heaven, has always struck me.

The biggest issues – since my early childhood – was what the book itself says. Read the Old Testament, that version of God was a jealous, angry God who loved to screw with folks, nearly like a Greek or Roman type. Again, all-powerful and all-knowing – the same guy who got pissed at Moses’ followers for the golden calf. OK, then why are there other religions? You would think there would be only one, especially after the flood.

Speaking of Moses, look at how he was treated. Literally the “sword of God,” and he was made to wander the desert for 40 years, not be admitted to the “promised land,” (which was, ironically, yet another desert), and apparently winked out of existence when he died, because the afterlife didn’t really start until Jesus hit the cross. That’s pretty tough stuff, right there.

Of course, the real kicker is “choice,” which according to the “blessed,” (which my in-laws license plates proclaim them to be, although they would shame a person for an “I got Bling” plate), when little actual choice is given to us. Ford, the maker of the Pinto, was sued for making a piece of shit car with many defects, and lost in court. God’s Pinto, (us), gets blamed for the defects he made us with. Odd.

It’s a good racket. He can only be thanked or petitioned to, never blamed. It just doesn’t make any sense. But, start a church and you too can reap millions in untaxed income…

Look at all the death caused by different faiths, let alone the in-fighting between Christians that lasted for centuries. Great “master plan.” Several world wars, with the last two during the 20th Century being catastrophic – again, “master plan.” To quote former Governor Jesse “the Body” Ventura, religion is a crutch for weak minded people. It certainly seems so, let alone one hell of a control device.

The whole “God has a plan for us all,” deal is quite telling, and I believe speaks to our ego, for it is generally translated into “He planned for every aspect of everyone’s life, (except for them heathens, or “infidels,” as others would say), but whether or not you should use birth control depends on which faction you adhere to … let alone if you think it’s a human rights violation if your book demands people dress a certain way.

I’ve said my piece. Really glad to have found this site – although I bet most of the comments will be, “stretch…yawn…”