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How Do I Come Out?

By Beinghuman ~

Over the past couple of years, I have gone from being a Catholic, to deism, to atheist. All of us have thought of this question before. How do I tell my parents or family about this? Since I'm in college, I don't have to go to church. I'm free to make my own decisions. When I go back home, I still go to church with my family. The thing is, I can't stand going. I can't stand praying to something I don't believe in. I can't stand believing in the lies of the Catholic Church. I can't stand it when priests bash secular culture, because we don't have the same beliefs as they do.

I'm not just not sure how my family is going to react. My family is pretty conservative, so there could be some issues. However, they aren't super fundies, so it could be all right. I have a feeling that they would be really disappointed about my lack of faith. My sisters probably wouldn't care. They're not that religious in the first place. My mom would be a little down, but she's not super religious. My dad is the one I'm worried about. My dad is really conservative, not to mention that he watches Fox news on a regular basis. He is still a pretty reasonable guy, but I'm the most worried about him.

I would like to keep this with just my family. I can tolerate going to mass twice a year, but I don't want to go when I'm home anymore. This was the first Christmas that I have labeled myself as an atheist. I was home for a whole month and I had to go to church. That's just too much for me. My family also follows Lent. I don't want to have to give up eating meat on Fridays and give up one of my favorite things. I hope people on here don't think I'm weak. I want to tell my family, but I just want to take it one step at a time. I would also like to keep this between my immediate family.

If word gets out to my extended family, then I could get into all sorts of trouble. My dad will probably tell my cousin who's in the seminary. My cousin will then give me a whole bunch of apologist bullshit. Although this could actually be a good thing, because I love debating. My grandma will hear about this eventually, and she's super strict when it comes to religion. If she hears about this, she will constantly be praying the rosary for my eternal soul.

If word gets out to my extended family, then I could get into all sorts of trouble. If anyone could give me advice, that would be great. I've had some ideas about coming out, but I'm not exactly sure what to do. I could just tell my family that I don't want to go to church. I could lie and say that I believe in God and Jesus, and that I have a personal relationship with them. I would get some grief, but it wouldn't be that bad. A couple years down the road I could say that I'm Deist, and then I could say I'm atheist. This way it wouldn't be a huge impact all at once.

I could always have a talk with my parents about my atheism. I believe my parents are pretty understanding people. I could tell that I'm an atheist, and then tell them why. I could tell them that I would like to have a civil discussion about it, and if they have any questions, they can ask me. I like this option better, because I don't want to put on a show anymore.

One of the reasons I've put this off for so long is because I just became an atheist. I'm still gathering up facts on religion and I want to be prepared when debating others. Another reason is that I'm still uncomfortable calling myself an atheist. I want to be happy with my decision before I tell others about it. I'm still trying to get over all of the brainwashing that I've gone through. I would like to get some of this out of my system before I tell others.

Thanks for reading my concerns. This is a huge decision that I've made and I want to hear others' opinions on the subject. Any help will be greatly appreciated.


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