Was Jesus Smelly?

SHARE:

By Anne R Keye ~

We’ve heard it all before. Atheists and Christians yap yapping with the same old arguments back and forth. Well, enough I say! There is something much much more serious to contend with here that we must all confront and this concerns me deeply. So serious was it that I pleaded with a silent god on a nightly basis to deliver me the answer to this most important of all questions.

Was jesus smelly?

I lived in dread as an 8 year old child that I would have to kiss his feet in heaven. I had nightmares about his odd feet and the dripping sweat and a horrible cheese smell. What was a child to do?

Well, I went to the padre and poured my little heart out. He reassured me that in heaven there was a bath and that jesus would have had a bath with god and that I shouldn’t worry about such silly musings.

But it got worse. I thought what would jesus be wearing below? I mean under his white dress [ robe?] which surely would be ripe with dirt from the winds of the desert. This bothered me. If he didn’t have under garments then was it all wiggling about on a daily basis and would it be wiggling about in heaven with god. This led to the most difficult phase for me. What about the problem of waste? Did they have a form of papyrus roll back then and if so it must have been very expensive and you couldn’t carry it around in the desert could you. Who had the money to buy such a luxury item or did jesus produce 5000 rolls from 2 fish? This was a disturbing epiphany and it shocked and worried me. How did jesus wipe? Perhaps they employed some sort of healing wiping leaf from a specialist fig tree back then. Surely this must have been important for them as they were travelling about a lot. How would a messiah stay clean and pure?

Was jesus really smelly? At this point the padre refused to discuss this situation anymore because it produced smoke from his nostrils and fire from his ears. He also started using strange words that my mother had informed me were rather rude and crude. And he kept salivating at the mouth and his face would turn bright red like a traffic light.

But, I really needed to know.

So this brings me back to my point and a very crucial one I feel. Was jesus really smelly? Did he possess greasy long hair, and remember they didn’t produce head and shoulders back then you know. And what about that beard. How much of the last supper could have been caught up in there? Remember, the heat and the winds of the dry desert and the followers living conditions would not make their lives hygienic at all!

This was terrifying because I don’t think I would want that alabaster jar anywhere near my hands. What would jesus say? Would he take it personally?

I have nothing against jesus either as a fictional character or as man made nonsense and fairytales. But I wonder how many of those that consider themselves christians would have this man in their house? A smelly, cheesy,greasy non underpants wearing sweating man to love?

A sad end to a religion lost. Why couldn’t the padre and those in the church give me an answer? Why, I ask you. Why wasn’t this ever expressed. Many left the fold over this and I dare say many still are.

I wish you all the best jesus because your supporters have really let you down on this one.

Thank you for reading. Love to you all.

http://absenceofsilences.wordpress.com/2014/09/03/was-jesus-smelly/

COMMENTS

Agnosticator,5,Al Wm Johnson,3,Alegria,3,Alen Basic,1,American Apostate,3,Andrew Jasko,3,Anne R Keye,6,AnonAgno94,4,Apetivist,2,Apostate Paul,3,Articles,707,Aspieguy,12,Astreja,9,atheistnurse,10,AtheistToothFairy,1,austinrohm,3,Avangelism Project,2,Barrett Evans,2,Ben Love,69,billybee,2,BlackFreethought,12,Bob Keye,3,Bob R,4,boomSlang,1,Bore Venal Charlatan,2,Brad N,1,Brian Kellogg,8,Brisancian,3,Bruce Gerencser,1,Bruno Corey,1,C. T. Ogden,4,Carl S,377,Carol Putnam,2,Carolyn Hyppolite,10,Cecelia,4,Cheryl Ensom Dack,6,Chris Highland,2,Chris W.,1,Christian Agnostic,2,Christmas,31,ChuckyJesus,1,ConversationsWithA,1,Daniel out of the Lion's Den,15,Daniel Payne,1,Dano,17,darklady,7,Dave8,1,DealDoctor,24,Dethblight,6,dharma,4,Discordia,5,Doubting Thomas,2,Dr. Marlene Winell,24,Dr. Valerie Tarico,150,DRC,2,dswrites,2,Easter,28,EChamberlainMD,6,Ed (Teapot),2,Edward T. Babinski,1,Eric Jeffries,2,eveningmeadows,11,Evid3nc3,3,ex-Pastor Dan,19,exfundy,2,exPenty,8,Faithfool,2,Fernando Alcántar,6,freddieb42,2,freeatlast,6,G.M. Gates,2,Gary T. McDonald,2,God-O-Rama,6,Godlessgrrl,5,Greenworld,4,hellboundsoul,3,Herb,3,Houndies,3,illu minati,2,Incongruous Circumspection,11,J.W.,2,JadedAtheist,2,Jake Rhodes,3,James A. Haught,3,James C,2,James Wilhelm,9,Jazzybelle,3,Jennifer,3,Jody,3,John Draper,26,John Loftus,2,John Shores,26,Kalos,3,Karen Garst,31,Kim Anne Whittemore,1,Klym,24,Larry C,5,Larry Spencer,3,Letters,149,Libby Anne,3,Log1cd1ctat3s,2,Luke,1,lungfish,1,Michael Runyan,36,Michael Sherlock,5,Mriana,17,MtlRedAtheist,1,Neal Stone,20,News,185,Nikki,1,NYdiva,2,ooglyman,2,Opinion,980,Patrice,2,Paul Hannah,1,Paul So,26,Philippe Orlando,3,Philonous,1,Politics,59,Positivist,5,psychman33,5,Rational Logic,3,Rational Okie,2,Renoliz,10,Rev Ex-Evangelist,7,RickO,3,Robert Conner,8,Ronna Russell,12,Rudy,4,Russ Hamel,2,Science,30,SeageVT,3,Shaolin,4,Simplex Munditiis,3,Son of a preacher,5,Steve Dustcircle,4,Stillunsure,4,Summerbreeze,25,Susan G. Bonella,3,Tania,22,tekHedd,2,Testimonials,1003,Thanksgiving,4,The STeWpId MoNkEy,4,TheThinkingAtheist,5,Thin-ice,4,ThinkTank,5,Tim Sledge,4,Tim Wolf,1,TinMan,1,True Anathema,4,TruthSurge,1,Ubi Dubium,4,undercover agnostic,25,unoder,7,Vadarama,2,Victor J Webster,2,Videos,102,Vyckie,10,Webmdave,9,WidePathGirl,2,WizenedSage,137,xrayman,2,xxkindofboredxx,2,Yak,9,
ltr
item
ExChristian.Net: Was Jesus Smelly?
Was Jesus Smelly?
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--PlCemiXKO8/VBtnZioOWeI/AAAAAAAAIeQ/JfKWz_HeL4w/s1600/smelly.jpeg
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/--PlCemiXKO8/VBtnZioOWeI/AAAAAAAAIeQ/JfKWz_HeL4w/s72-c/smelly.jpeg
ExChristian.Net
https://new.exchristian.net/2014/09/was-jesus-smelly.html
https://new.exchristian.net/
https://new.exchristian.net/
https://new.exchristian.net/2014/09/was-jesus-smelly.html
true
1266985040290242663
UTF-8
Loaded All Posts Not found any posts VIEW ALL Read more Reply Cancel reply Delete By Home PAGES POSTS View All RECOMMENDED FOR YOU LABEL ARCHIVE SEARCH ALL POSTS Not found any post match with your request Back Home Sunday Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat January February March April May June July August September October November December Jan Feb Mar Apr May Jun Jul Aug Sep Oct Nov Dec just now 1 minute ago $$1$$ minutes ago 1 hour ago $$1$$ hours ago Yesterday $$1$$ days ago $$1$$ weeks ago more than 5 weeks ago Followers Follow THIS PREMIUM CONTENT IS LOCKED STEP 1: Share to a social network STEP 2: Click the link on your social network Copy All Code Select All Code All codes were copied to your clipboard Can not copy the codes / texts, please press [CTRL]+[C] (or CMD+C with Mac) to copy