Skip to main content

The Biggest Joke Book on Earth

By Carl S ~

Back in the 1960's there was a popular TV series called Get Smart. The show was a spoof of James Bond-type counter-espionage. Agent 86, a.k.a. “Smart,” was played by Don Adams. I didn't see many episodes, but I do remember a gag he often repeated. When Smart reported to the head of his agency, he would sometimes say things like, “Would you believe there were 200 of them?” There would be a long pause, and then, “Would you believe 100? What about 75?”

Would you believe this report: a guy fed 5000 men with 5 loaves of bread and two fishes? Well, would you believe 50 loaves and 200 fishes? Would you believe 500 men, and no women and children? Didn't you believe me when I told you he also walked on water? Would you believe me if I said the lake was frozen? Would you believe a man lived to be 400 years old, and then he built a gigantic boat, when any 100 year old man would have trouble building a ship model? What else?

One commentator wrote about an atheist mother's experience reading Genesis to her little girl, when the girl burst out laughing; “A talking snake!” Now, that is funny. Wonder what language snakes speak: Hebrew? Greek? King James English? Did he talk with a lisp, like Daffy Duck? How did he pronounce those g's and w's? Would you believe a snake stood upright, when its whole skeleton screams “Crawl”?

Now, the entire book is filled with jokes. People tell you “God inspired” this ridiculous book. And here you thought “God” didn't have a sense of humor! How about a few hundred troops playing trumpets - would you believe those sounds knocked down stone walls 10 feet thick? O.K., would you believe 2 feet thick? Men floating up like balloons, through the clouds? Just remember what the Christian apologist Tertullian, who died 1800 years ago, said: “It is impossible for a man to come back from death; therefore, it must be true.” And: “It's certain because it's impossible.” Tosser!

It's astounding, just how gullible some people are.Now we have sci-fi. Back then, those gullible ignorant folk were entertained with inane stories projected larger-than-life, with their own Paul Bunyans and Supermen of the deserts. For example, the Egyptians have no records of a Moses ever being in Egypt, let alone a collection of all the bad stuff said to have happened to them, caused by a Hebrew god! If we laugh at scriptural silly, outrageous stories and claims, it's because they're laughable from the beginning to the end of time. They read like the tall stories of drunks, or men high on LSD. ( “Revelations”- they're definitely on hallucinogens.) Notice?

It's astounding, just how gullible some people are. If a salesman goes into a neighborhood and tries to sell insurance guaranteeing the purchaser will live healthily for a thousand years, not only would he find no takers, he'd be laughed out of the neighborhood. But if he puts on a black dress, hangs a cross around his neck, carries that gilt-edged book and is selling eternal life, you should treat him with respect?! Men who couldn't create toilet paper (something to really benefit humans), claim to be founts of wisdom and raise people from the dead, even one man so long-gone his body was rotting? Hilarious.

If you take outright lies, compound and embellish them, keep 'em coming one after the other until you get tons of them, you have created a giant joke book. Then you call it “tradition.” That's a good summation of “the Bible.” The Joke's on everyone who believes it. My mom would say, “Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me.” Don't get fooled in the first place; you can laugh out loud.

The lies pile up into the thousands in that Joke book. Some folks take them seriously! What would happen if those serious believers elected a man for president who lies like their book does?