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Losing my faith in Kansas

By Daffodil ~

I was raised in the home of a liberal denominational minister and stay-at-home mom. We went to church once or twice a week, but never really talked about faith or read the bible at home. I think my parents expected the church to cover my spiritual learning. Because it was such a liberal church, the only thing I ever got out of it was that there was a god and that he wanted us to be good to each other. Pretty harmless, really, but also pretty useless to my inquisitive mind.

My first inkling of a problem was my discovery in high school that our denomination was an offshoot of an offshoot of an offshoot of Catholicism. I knew that unity was a frequent topic of the NT, so it seemed wrong that there were so many denominations and that they split over such unimportant issues like what kind of music to include in worship. At that time I was also acutely aware of the hypocrisy I saw in other Christians. One Sunday morning during a typically mind-numbingly boring sermon, I picked up the bible in the pew pocket and read Ecclesiastes. I don't know why I chose it, but I absolutely loved it!

In college I found myself alone and floundering. My mother suggested joining a church group to find friends. Long story short, I moved from a liberal collegiate church group to one of the most conservative groups out there, The Navigators. They cared about me, nurtured me and made me feel wanted. I found my husband in that group and we started our adult life together as committed, conservative, evangelical Christians. That was 23 years ago.

My husband "came out" to me as agnostic 2 1/2 years ago. I came out to him just a few weeks ago. Wow!

There is of course so much more to tell, but this is already long, so I'll save it for another. P.S. Help!


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