The Biggest Joke Book on Earth

By Carl S ~

Back in the 1960's there was a popular TV series called “Get Smart.” The show was a spoof of James Bond-type counter-espionage. Agent 86, a.k.a. “Smart,” was played by Don Adams. I didn't see many episodes, but I do remember a gag he often repeated. When Smart reported to the head of his agency, he would sometimes say things like, “Would you believe there were 200 of them?” There would be a long pause, and then, “Would you believe 100? What about 75?”

Would you believe this report: a guy fed 5000 men with 5 loaves of bread and two fishes? Well, would you believe 50 loaves and 200 fishes? Would you believe 500 men, and no women and children? Didn't you believe me when I told you he also walked on water? Would you believe me if I said the lake was frozen? Would you believe a man lived to be 400 years old, and then he built a gigantic boat, when any 100 year old man would have trouble building a ship model? What else?

One commentator wrote about an atheist mother…

Genesis for Dummies

By Carl S ~

In December 1953, I was 15 years old and in a monastery. A monastery is a place where men appear, to the outside world, to be living in harmony. Their lifestyle depends on pretending. Doubts, questions and anger are not allowed to be publicly spoken. Can you imagine anything more anathema to our humanity, our well-being, than poverty, chastity, and obedience? One pays a terrible price for this “spiritual peace and comfort,” especially mentally and emotionally. Trust me. If a person is willing to believe poverty, chastity, and obedience means a special calling to a high spiritual realm, you know how a monk is a person conned to believe bullshit. This comes from reading chosen scriptures supporting this lifestyle.

How to read the bible? We were instructed on a method anyone should use for reading scriptural texts. This is employed to seriously find what “God” was conveying. It means you must concentrate on the particular words, since scriptures constantly change the subject. Try it. It makes sense “inerrant” words won't be threatened because the average person questions them. Let's do this with:

Genesis. ch. 8, v. 21. “And the Lord said in his heart, “I will not again curse the ground for man's sake. For the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth. Neither will I again smite every living thing.”

Take your time. Whoever wrote these words had a negative attitude to human nature. Defenders of this author spent centuries trying to explain away his Almighty's hatred. He considers no exceptions for the good in even the best of us. This destroying Creator is a sociopathic dictator who thinks and acts in absolute black-and-white, no gray areas.

Anyone who maintains he is “all-knowing” is not thinking while reading what it says because the Supreme Know-It-All is saying, “Whoops! If only I had known this before I made my decision.“ And even then, he came to the wrong conclusion.

How does the writer know what “the Lord” or “man” says ” in his heart?” Again: “I will never again curse the ground,” because of the natural curiosity of humans? Isn't this the nature he supposedly created and pronounced “good?” He says, “the imagination of man's heart, is evil.” Did he expect Noah to gather penguins, polar bears, elephants, frogs, butterflies, etc, without using his imagination?

As it is happening, the story text tells us the destroyer has no idea what it means to be a human being, and in a preplanned manic rage, punishes humans for being human, drowns everything. He never changes his mind all the while this goes on. He won't deal directly with humans, will not negotiate, be understanding or compassionate. This is his solution. Earth is littered with rotting corpses and rotting vegetation. Nothing is available to eat, unless the animals eat one another. Somebody didn't think about that, either. And he has the balls to tell us we're evil!

This god bemoans he's wasted his almighty energies because, he says, “the imagination of man's heart is evil from his youth.” (And will continue to be; something else he didn't see coming!) We're supposed to be consoled by “never again?” What about, “neither will I again smite every living thing?” He didn't smite every living thing.

In Genesis, ch. 8, v. 21, a mass murderer admits he screwed up. Tell your children to never mind all the cute toy arks they see w/smiling animals. If they're exposed to and disturbed by this Ark story or not, tell them to remember it's just another fairy tale. If you're Very Serious about this fairy tale, check this out on the internet: “The Failure of the Flood,” by biblical scholar, David J.A. Clives.

Since you've read this far, here's a bonus, something else I learned in the monastery: “The teachings of Jesus have an eschatological orientation.” In short, “eschatology” is about the ending of the world. All the gospel teachings have that orientation. “Sell everything you have, give your coat to those who take your shirt, lay up treasures in heaven not on earth, forgive your enemies, don't make any plans for tomorrow, etc..., because the world will end “Soon.” The entire N.T. writings are guide books in preparation for a fast approaching end of the world, followed by a promised everlasting reward for hanging in there. But oh my! The promised “end” never arrived. This tells you to your face that the entire New Testament is useless. Toss it in the trash.

My sincere thanks for all the past comments. They are not only encouraging, but helpful. I think this applies not only to me, but others who read them. I don't write to have readers agree with me or not, but to encourage them to think. To be a believer, one has to not think. There's no real freedom without free thinking.

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