By AnonAgno94 ~ I t's hard to believe - we are coming up now on one year of me departing from the born-again Christian community. And while I am not the best at maintaining an active online blogger lifestyle (apologies for not posting more regularly on here), I thought it would be appropriate to share some thoughts as to where I am now. I came to this community here at Ex-C as a new agnostic, struggling with losing the foundation that once had the name “Jesus Christ” appended to it. Over the last few months, however, and after lengthy conversations with others with whom I have crossed paths, I will declare today that I now consider myself an atheist rather than an agnostic. Am I definite on that? No, but quite honestly with all of the knowledge I have gained over this last year on humanity and life as we know it, I cannot help but truly doubt there will be anything once my brain decides it has lived its life and needs a more permanent rest. Not relying upon some one-in-a-mill...

By AnonAgno94 ~ I spent the first 17 years of my life being a Catcholic. At 17 I was brought into the non-denominational Christian culture and was "born again." I spent the last five years, then, meeting fellow Christians, exploring the different sects of Christianity, studying and writing worship music, and reading the Bible daily. In all of my times, both good and bad, I always believed that I had "god" looking out for me. I was taught to be fully and completely dependent on him and nobody else. that if I was feeling anxious, I just wasn't trusting "him" enough. that if I was still single, then I had to wait for "him" to bring the right one in. When I did start dating my secular humanist boyfriend, of course religion would come up frequently in our discussions. They were never heated discussions, though if we hit points of strong disagreement, I remember at times feeling that Christian mindset of, "Well, he doesn't bel...

By AnonAgno94 ~ I scribbled this down a few weeks ago: I had a moment today at work when I had a breakdown. The situation itself is not worth explaining, but the outcome of it is. At times, departing from religion leaves me lonely and cynical of the world. What is the point of life? Of people? Why should I care? A Yellow-winged grasshopper (Gastrimargus musicus) caught in a barbed-wire fence. The yellow back wings are usually only visible when in flight. This image was captured in the few seconds during which the unfortunate grasshopper's head was stuck in a barbed wire fence. Australia is currently experiencing a locust plague. (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) But today as I was crying, my coworker hugged me. At one moment, they held my face in both of their hands, and they said how nice of a person I was, and I felt such empathy that it struck me very deeply. They said very kind words today that I just can’t get past them. When I was a Christian, I often imagined Jesus a...

By AnonAgno94 ~ U p until May this year, I was the Christian that the other young Christians wanted to be. I’ve had people tell me that they wished they had the faith that I have. That I had. Now there are moments when I wish I still had the faith I had. Because that faith died 5 months ago, and since then I haven’t been the same. I grew up Catholic in an unstable household. The lack of fatherly affection left me with a hole in my life, and the constant negative external validation from my mother still is with me as scars to this day. In my youth, I was a devout Catholic who prayed every night because she was too mature for her age to have real friends. Flash forward to 17 years old and then change “Catholic” to “non-denominational, Bible-adoring Christian.” Charismatic to the core. Bilingual leader, worship songwriter, mentor, Christian friend. I was certain of ‘god’s’ existence. So what happened? Combine severe anxiety with depression, take out church support and under...