Son of a Preacher ~ T he brainwashing or should I say brain programing (you have to have prior knowledge (dirt) for washing) is the worst. And its all a scam, turn you into their slave. That's what they want, you must all fulfill their "vision for the world", after all the earth belongs to them… and they need a million dollars, like really need it. Whenever I think about the mind control used against me as a child it always makes me shake, I don't know why, kind of like I'm sick but not sick, like I'm really cold. You are told as a child "you must be stupid not to believe in this stuff" or "if you don't believe you must be brain dead", this is all designed to enslave the mind, and I can tell you, it works very well on a child's mind. "You are condemned" they say, "a life without god is worthless, now open you wallets and give" they shout. Or as my fathers group of churches say "those who do not tithe th...

By Son of a Preacher ~ I hate computers, I fell into the service industry , fixing computers for one of the big brands. I have read a bit recently about how suffers of RTS or C-PTSD often seek work in the service industry. Up to 85% one article quoted. This was true for me, although I didn't realize it at the time. I can only speak for my feelings about my computer jobs, but its very similar to my religious experience and I think its the familiarity that keeps me going back to these jobs, even though they make me suicidal and I then have to quit to recover. In my line of work you spend your entire day trying to fix the sins (hardware and software faults) of peoples personal computers (personal does not even come close to describe the emotional attachment some have to their machine souls). Its a job where your shut away in a back corner, often without windows, and normally physically separated from clients and fellow staff, cut of from society (church from 'the world'...

Son of a preacher ~ I know of two parallel worlds , one I try to live in now, based on scientific truth (to the best of my knowledge). The other I had forced on me when I was a child. This is a parallel world that coexists on the earth we share, I'm sure there is more than this one, but this particular world is the only other one I have any knowledge of. Imagine if you can…. A world where you and I both still exist, set on the earth right now. In this world there is a battle of galactic proportions ragging. In this world there are two sides, the good guys (god, his angels and the people of pentecostal churches), and the baddies (the devil, his demons, and everyone else on this earth (that means you!)). In this world the earth has fallen under the sway of the devil, and his demons are everywhere. His demons are the most horrifying beasts imaginable, an undead invisible army, capable of possessing anyone (this means you), and causing tremendous pain and suffering. It wold be fa...

By Son of a preacher man ~ I am the Lord your God: If I even dare to question the absolute truth of the bible I deserve to be beaten. Later becomes "Why am I so unprepared for the real world, God where have I gone wrong?". Still later becomes "God, how could you do this to me?". And then becomes " you are not My god, I AM (to quote the bible), not you". Which turns to "what do I do now? how do people live in this world?"… … I say 'this world' deliberately, I often think of my time involved in my family to quite literally living in a parallel world, a world that was just as real to me as what I would now call a 'scientific' world, which I now try to live, it is a daily struggle to separate reality form this parallel world, a struggle I fear I will face for the rest of my life. All concepts must be relearned in this life, such as, what does the word family really mean? what is it to be a friend? how come my education only leav...

Son of a preacher man ~ H ome life of fear, I don't want to sin, I don't want to sin! Look out, their watching your every move, just waiting to see one of your sins . Hide things in your room, they dam well search there too. I am sin. Better look out you got no one to turn to, your brothers, your sisters will dob you in quicker than sin… Playing a N64 game "now run like hell" I say to his computer character, "you said hell, I'm telling on you". Dam why did I say that word, I'm going to be in so much trouble, I am so stupid, I am such a sinner, I hate myself... I better hide. At home one evening, "Who did this?" he shouts, "What?" we timidly reply. There was a cake in the cupboard, all brand new, and without fault. "This" he shouts pointing at a mark in the icing. The mark looks like someone had run their finger through the icing, to steal a sneaky taste. No one says a word, we all look around and start pleading our i...