By Aspieguy ~ S ometimes when I think that I have my autism under control, it has a way of dispelling my fantasy. I recently took a short trip to Las Vegas earlier this year. Yes, I had misgivings about this trip, but my daughter was getting married there. On a Saturday night in Vegas I was finally overcome by sensory overload because of the lights, crowds, and noise. I'm unsure that most people could understand the terror and shame that results from sensory overload. I have no filter for noises and lights. I hear everything at the same volume (loud). Fluorescent lights flicker. Crowds of people are disorienting. That's my reality. The worst part actually was my Christian, neurotypical wife. She claimed that I really have the ability to choose my reaction to sensory overload. Not true. So common among Christians is the belief that all behavior is "chosen". They have it all figured out. They are right. Those of us with different brains are wrong. How dare someo...

By Aspieguy ~ W e hear much about bullying these days and the damage it does to people, especially children. Those of us with Aspergers Syndrome , a form of autism, often report intense bullying during childhood. Because children with Aspergers often desire friends, the bullying is especially devastating. Does bullying also occur in adults? Sadly, yes. Does it occur within churches? Again, yes. I certain Christian of my close acquaintance recently posted an article entitled "Discipleship Bullying". In this article I realized just how this man had bullied me, as well as certain others within my former church. I ended my discipling relationship with this person some years ago. I had a sense that I had been bullied, but I didn't know exactly how. The article states eight signs that a person may be a discipleship bully. You are easily annoyed by the one you are discipling. You are unable or unwilling to learn from the person you are discipling. You are unwilling t...

By Aspieguy ~ I recently was emptying the household trash when I spotted a church bulletin from my former UMC church. I began reading news of the same, dull events, more boring Bible studies, and the sermon outline. I won't go into great detail, but it was entitled " Why Kindness Makes the Difference". After a discourse on the Good Samaritan parable the pastor proceeds to tell his sheep how to be kind. Furthermore, he tells the sheep they should be kind because God has been kind to them, kindness is an act of worship, kindness honors God, kindness makes them happy, kindness makes them attractive , and God blesses kindness. I was really puzzled by this sermon outline. Did the congregation really need a sermon like this? Did they turn into selfish barbarians in my absence? Have Christians become so infantile that they will consider moronic sermons inspiring? Be kind? Did they not learn this in kindergarten? Now, I admit to some bias. I already despise this particul...

By Aspieguy ~ I t occurred to me that it has been nearly two years since I wrote my first post to this site . Much has happened to me during the past two years. The christians would call this a "praise report". That isn't a phrase I ever used. A "I'm pissed at god again report" would have been far more amusing. Two years ago I was struggling with my recent Aspergers diagnosis, leaving christianity and becoming an authentic person. I am pleased to say that I have made a lot of progress. After much searching I found a therapist who was willing to treat an Aspie adult. She treated children but never an adult. I was far and away beyond her experience. However, she helped me to realize that my behavior wasn't abnormal and that other people viewed life not in such stark terms as I do. She was concerned about my anxiety, which we came to realize was a result of religious indoctrination . I never attended any church as a child. Imposing religion on me ...

By Danimal  (aka  Aspieguy)  ~ I was looking for one of my favorite radio stations tonight (92.3 WTTS, Indianapolis ) when I found a Moody Radio station. They were advertising a book. The name escapes me, but it had something to do with god being disappointed in his followers. Intriguing. Apparently, god is disappointed with them for coming to Jesus with unrealistic expectations. They expect things from Jesus that he never promised. Therefore, God grants them, "The grace of disappointment," whatever the hell that is. Christians praying in Goma, DR of Congo. (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) OK, this is the man who told his followers they could throw mountains into the sea, that he would return very soon, and that his followers would do even greater works than he did. It appears that asking Jesus to heal grandma's gout or clearing my acne is asking entirely too much. I think there is trouble in Christianland. Christians are starting to question why their beloved Jes...

By Aspieguy ~ C hristians do so many things that simply annoy and irritate me. Some of these things they do irritate me because of my Aspergers . I won't say this is a top ten list. I'll stop when I exhaust my examples. They are never quiet. They talk continuously and are noticeably uncomfortable with silence. They touch and hug you without permission. Strangers touching me is freaky They sing songs about things they don't ever do. For example, they never "dance for Jesus" or "lift holy hands". Because the majority of people masturbate, I wonder how holy the hands are. They lie. They claim to love everyone but really don't. Some employ sarcasm. I don't recognize sarcasm because I take it literally. I consider sarcasm a form of lying. The men act like women. Some cry when speaking before the church. They are truly in touch with their feminine side. I'm not. The men engage in womanly small talk and talk constantly. My idea of a goo...

By Aspieguy (formally known as Danimal) ~ I like Christmas. I enjoy everything about it: Christmas trees, gaudy outdoor displays, Christmas carols, and kids waiting to see Santa . I have good memories of past Christmases such as going to see Santa in his little, Santa house at Market Square. The annual Christmas parade was fun. All the floats,marching bands, and even the Purdue Marching Band were in the parade. Christmas was a time to see all my extended family and eat intemperate amounts of food. When my children were small, they were up at 5:00 a.m. ready to open presents. Dad (me) was sleepily operating the video camera. The living room was littered with wrapping paper, boxes and all the gifts. Who can forget all the Christmas specials on TV such as Charlie Brown Christmas or Rudolf? Yes, even we serious Aspies enjoy the holidays. What our Christmases didn't include was church. Yes, I knew the story about the mild baby Jesus who never cried and whose birth was witness...

By Danimal   (aka  Aspieguy)  ~ A s I have mentioned in past postings, I am a 47 year old man with Aspergers sydrome, a form of autism. Like many people with AS, I am also afflicted with bipolar disorder and social anxieties. Certain fabrics, people touching me, lotion on my hand, fluorescent lights, bright lights, sudden loud noises. and crowds of people drive me nearly insane. My iPhone ringing even frightens me. I think in very literal, concrete terms. I cannot discern facial expressions, nonverbal communication , and abstract ideas. Some days are just harder than others. Like many Aspies, I am also an atheist. Unfortunately, I am socially naive. I am unable to understand peoples' motivations. I wish I could, but it probably won't happen. Logo of Aspies for Freedom (Photo credit: Wikipedia ) Up until a few months ago, I was a regular attendee of a United Methodist church . I could sit through an entire service and not understand a word of it. When I discov...

By Danimal  (aka  Aspieguy)  ~ I n some of my previous stories I have mentioned that I am on the autism spectrum. Autism is a condition marked by social, communication, and sensory deficits. Some of these deficits may be severe to mild, and no two autistics are exactly the same. In my case I am unable to make eye contact with others. I can't tolerate crowds of people for long periods of time. I have various sensory issues with types of clothing, noises, lighting and colors. I am also lacking what is called the " theory of mind ". I am unable to "read" facial expressions and other nonverbal communication . I am very dependent on verbal communication and people have to be very specific with me. So, what does this have to do with religion? In my obsessive study of autism I quickly discovered how many autistics are atheists. Not all, but a great many of them are. I thought this was a curious phenomenon, and I analyzed my own thinking. What I discovered was dist...

By Danimal   (aka  Aspieguy)  ~ W ould you like to be a Methodist? As a former United Methodist, I am here to tell you how. As the movie " A River Runs Through It " says, Methodists are Baptists who can read. If you can follow these simple steps, you can become a member of the United Methodist Church : 1. Be sure you know nothing about the denomination. Don't know who John Wesley is or the Book of Discipline . Be ignorant of the itinerant ministry and don't know who your bishop is. 2. Participate in the church prayer chain. Remember, the only prayers allowed are for the sick, injured or dead. Anything personal is off-limits. If someone recovers, make sure the prayers get the credit, not the doctors or nurses. 3. If you like to debate or argue, be sure you only argue over insignificant things such as musical styles, worship styles, or how good the sermons are. 4. Avoid controversial topics such as homosexuality and abortion. 5. Possess multiple persona...

  By Danimal  (aka  Aspieguy)  ~ P erhaps my largest objections to the organized church is its music. Hymnbooks have been largely discarded in many churches in favor of "praise and worship" or simply "worship" music. The music and lyrics are simple, easily reproduced by any "worship team" with minimal talent. Unfortunately, the lyrics are often bereft of meaning and frequently repetitive. Consider the lyrics of this song: This is the air I breathe. This is the air I breathe. Your holy presence living in me. And I, I'm desperate for you. And I, I'm desperate for you. If you are like me, you are mystified by these words. Picture singing them six or seven times in a row. Worshippers will always have their eyes closed and maybe their hands raised. They often describe their minds as empty during these songs. To a person with Aspergers syndrome or "Aspie" such music can be sheer torture. Because I am a highly visual thinker, I am...

By Danimal (aka  Aspieguy)  ~ D ear God, We have had a tumultuous relationship over the years. In spite of being physically abused as a boy and relentlessly bullied in school, I never blamed you for those. Even when I had difficulty making friends and maintaining friendships, I was to blame. I was the one born into sin. I was the one flawed. I could never blame someone who was holy and knew what was best for me. We never went to church as a family. I didn't learn about you until I was 17 when I was introduced to an Assemblies of God church . There I learned that your worship was vibrant and emotional. I learned about the gifts of the spirit. I also learned about hypocrisy and narrow mindedness. But, we're only saved, not perfect, right? You and I grew apart from each other when I joined the Army. I was leading a new, exciting life. I really didn't need you much. When I returned to the university, you and I got back together again. I didn't return to Pentecosta...