My Christmas Dinner Prayer

By Neal Stone ~

So once again my family will have Christmas dinner. My oh so religious parents will be there as will others who also believe. So I have prepared a special holiday prayer. You can read it below.

the christmas dinner tableImage by Laenulfean via Flickr

Why would I do this?

  1. To make a point.
  2. Because they always ask me to say the prayer and it pisses me off. REVENGE BABY!

Hey, a guys gotta have some fun!

Oh Lord, We come to you today and would like you to bless this food and our family here together. But then, why should you answer our prayers when there is so much more need in the world. The cripple down the street who would love to walk again, the amputee who lost his arms in the war who would love to be able to hug his children again. After all, it's not beyond your power to grow back his limbs as you do it with lizards and other amphibians all the time. Aren't we, your most precious creation, more important than a lizard?

After all we just have to ask in your name and it will be done. Did you not heal the sick, make the cripple walk and the blind to see?

And what about the twenty four thousand children who will die tonight from starvation? We ask you to feed them or at least comfort them as they die. After all most will die alone as their family died the night before.

But I know so many here have such great needs too. Like that job promotion so they can buy a better car or house. Or little Johnnie's mild fever which will probably go away anyway. Or maybe convincing that strayed family member to go back to church because that is so much more important than the above. Or maybe that mission trip we want to go on so we can learn to appreciate what we have by spending just a few days in some poor country only to come home to a nice home and life. Yeah, that puts it into perspective.

We know that nothing is beyond your power and so Lord, I ask for you to show us your power this holiday season. And as a gesture of faith I have placed a grilled cheese sandwich in the kitchen for
you. Please oh Lord show us your power by placing your image, or Mary's, on the sandwich so that we all will know you are the true and all powerful God.

In Osiris...er..Jesus name we pray,

Amun Ra...er...Amen!

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