Sent in by Robert Like all of you on this website, I am an ex-Christian. I was raised Roman Catholic my entire life and even was confirmed into the church a few years back. During that time though, I was beginning to question my faith. Since I was born I was always told different things that contradict religion itself. Some priests would say "God is in everything, if you do good things God is with you and if you do bad things you have allied yourself with the devil" or "God makes a path that you follow and there is no such thing as free-will, there is only good and evil. Really? So me renouncing my faith was the devil talking? ‘Cause it sounds like I am making the decision, not the devil. What I am trying to get at is that religion assumes too much and that there are many fellow ex-Christian brothers and sisters out there who have assumed too much as well. I am of course talking about the assumption of atheism. I was once an atheist myself right after I told my church to...

Sent in by Michael It's weird to have this down in writing but I've been working through Christianity for quite a while now and share most if not all the feelings that many of you have already expressed. Oddly enough it's the values as taught to me by my faith that is leading me to abandon it, or at least rethink it. The truth must come first, and the more I lived as "per se," the more I was confronted with the lies within Christianity as a religion. Nothing outright of course, but extremely subtle. It's just amazing how easy it is for those in this religion to alter their perceptions as to see things irrationally. Some of the most intelligent people I know are Christians. But, it's a forest for the trees situation. I won't express everything I'm feeling because it's all been done before but at the moment things are changing as follows: A) Christianity, as I have been taught, is not absolute truth. B) The character of God as described in Christ...

By azsuperman01 The story of how I became an atheist... my most requested video to date.

Sent in by Deborah I first want to say that I never imagined myself writing on some secular website a story about me not not believing in God anymore. This past year has been hard, but it has also been the most crucial year for shaping the person that I am going to be and am becoming. I started out the good little Christian girl in a big loving family of seven. I grew up safe and secure in the thought of my family always being there for me and God always at the head of our home. I was also very sheltered and always tried to abide by the rules of my parents who were always in line with "God's rules". I basically rode along taking what my parents and the church we were attending told me about truth. I was home schooled from 3rd grade to 7th and then I was sent to a private Christian school. Bible class was requirement and praise and worship times were held every week.I had times when I felt like I was "backsliding" (a term used to describe someone who was saved a...

Sent in by Jeffery "You're here because you know something. What you know you can't explain, but you feel it. You've felt it your entire life, that there's something wrong with the world. You don't know what it is, but it's there, like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about?" -- Morpheus I grew up as an extreme-core fundamentalist, and have been slowing drifting secular since then. In sixth grade, my parents got rid of Aladdin due to Jasmine's inappropriate garb. My church started playing contemporary music in the evening services, and as this form of music is displeasing to God, we changed churches over the issue. Together with being home schooled and highly gifted mathematically, I was not what you would call a normal child. Although this may be barely believable to many of you unless you also have been brainwashed at an old enough age to know better, ...

Sent in by Sonnie I have been battling this Christianity thing for several years. I am 21 and a married navy wife with a six-month-old daughter. I always thought being a Christian was the "right" thing to do. I have tried so hard to that good Christian person. I even got married to my husband under the belief I was truly a Christian. Something inside of me really didn't work. My husband is the best in the world and I love him; his family is close knit and all go to the same little country church. A lot of things appeal to me with Christianity. The morals and values; not the whole hell thing. Baptism, I was never baptized. I been contemplating it because I have really tried over the past several years to " be the Christian" But I didn't, because I was lying to myself. I believe in a higher power. My husband is very good man who is a Christian; I do not know how to tell him that I am not a Christian anymore. I go to church every Sunday for my husband, even th...

Sent in by Melvin I started taking Christianity serous at the age of six or seven. My father was very involved in the Pentecostal church . My mother was Baptist, but went to my dad's church because that is where my dad's family went. So mom, being very submissive early in the marriage, went along with whatever my dad said. Don't get me wrong; my dad is the coolest guy to hang out with; he just should never ever marry again. The day I plunged headfirst into Christianity was when my next door neighbor Johnny told me that I was going to hell because I didn't belong to the Church of Christ . Being a little kid, I went home crying because I thought I was going to burn in hell for all eternity. MY mom told me that as long as I accepted Jesus into my heart I would go to heaven. So there in our family room we knelt down and prayed. I attended church regularly for several years, but never really read the Bible until I was in my teens. As a teenager with red curly hair, a w...

From Valerie Hello, I am writing from France where I live - nothing like this site exists in Europe, where fundamental Christianity is little know, and unfortunately there is not much help for former evangelicals. My husband and I became "converts" way back in 1980, and spent 17 years in a very austere community in Geneva Switzerland, where we were literally cut off from our family and friends for years - brainwashed and psychologically abused by a "Christian" woman who was the leader of the community and her family. The usual thing - prayer meetings every day - prophesies that were more and more threatening and menacing towards anyone with the slightest "rebellious" thought - exploiting our fears and fragilities, making us live in abject poverty both materially and culturally... I finally left the cult, after the most terrible time having been harassed in ways I would rather not say by the son of the Leader. Of course I was blamed as a "sinful" ...

Sent in by Stefan Hi everyone. My name is Stefan and I'm an atheist. (HI Stefan: lol ) Sorry, had to break the ice there. My story isn't that unique to be brutally honest. I'm posting it none the less, because I truly believe there are people out there in that very ugly but necessary phase, where you start to raise serious doubts about your religious convictions, but are simply too afraid to jump off the cliff into the abyss of unbelief. So, I am posting my testimony for them. We all know it's damn (Is swearing permissible here?) hard to finally let go. And it's just that little bit easier if you can relate to others who went through the same situation. OK, enough rambling. I was born into a Protestant family in South Africa . For those of you not familiar with white, South African culture, let me say this: You'd be hard pressed to find a non- Protestant Christian in my community, never mind a non-believer and ironically a white person who is not a racist. My...

Sent in by Anton The last year has seen me slowly de-convert from Christianity until, like others, I one day realized I just don't believe it all any more. I grew up in a loving Christian home, both my parents were active in church. It was to be expected that at the age of 12 I had a "jelly-in-my-legs" experience at a sermon one morning, went forward and gave my heart to Jesus. What followed was a life that has been both happy and sad at the same time.Happy because I wasn't raised fundamentalist enough to be ostracized from the world completely, but sad because I was just Christian enough to never quite feel at home in the world. It's hard to explain, but if you met me today you would think me a confident individual, and in some ways I am. I just feel, however, that Christianity kept me from developing a kinship with my fellow man. By being Christian by definition I was different, and any common ground was ruined because "they" weren't Christian and ...

Sent in by Candace Hi everyone. I have not used my real name for privacy reasons. I'm posting here not so much a testimonial of "deconversion" as an explanation of my current situation. Basically, I started going to church a couple of months ago (I was always aware of Christianity , but had always viewed it with suspicion). Its ideas and concepts always seemed absurd to me (like the resurrection, vicarious atonement , etc), but the more I went the more indoctrinated I became. I was at a tough place in my life and I needed some support from other people and Christianity really helped me with that. Later, I came across your website, did some research on my own (looked at all those "evilbible.com" type websites), realised the Bible was full of absurdity and logical inconsistencies, as well as historical inaccuracies, and quickly deconverted. Thing is, I didn't stop going to church, because couldn't find anything to fill the emotional void. I was an atheist ...

Sent in by Pretzel I was raised by a mildly Christian mother and an agnostic father. My dad never talked about religion at all. My mom, on the other hand, told me when I was a kid about Heaven, Hell, God, Jesus, etc. But we didn't go to church or anything. I only went to Sunday School during the summer of one year, I think, maybe between second and third grade? I forget. It was rather uneventful. I remember my mom once asking me if I wanted to join something called God Squad. I remember thinking that name sounded cool, and being envious of it. Nowadays, I think "God Squad" just sounds corny, but when you're a kid, anything that sounds "important" and "grown up" sounds cool. Anyway, I didn't think about God too much when I was a kid, though I did believe in heaven or hell, but that was it. When I was 11, though, everything changed at once. You know how people's brains start to work differently when they hit puberty? I don't just mean the...

Sent in by Christopher Hello all. I've been trolling this site for a few months now, and I'd like to share my story. Unlike many of you, I wasn't born into a conservative Christian household. When I was 7, I asked my mom if there was a god, and so we started going to church. When I got into my teens I had a fundie Bible school teacher who absolutely believed that the Bible is the unerring Word of God. I remember one time when another kid a few years older than me was in the class and brought up some very valid scientific points (he was extremely smart and knew his stuff). Our teacher simply refused to concede that he was even in the right frame of thinking. The teacher simply used the "Because the Bible says so…" argument. I think this was the beginning of my doubts because everything Nathan said made sense. I was never into the whole church thing because I always thought it was boring and repetitive, but I still believed. I even went to those brainwashing summer...

Sent in by George My story is as messy as life itself. I'm in the early processes of going public with my deconversion, but it also feels liberating to finally admit the truth out loud, and in the open. I became a Christian in high school through a youth ministry called Young Life. I went to a week long camp where the gospel was packaged and delivered with great polish and skillful delivery, which was designed for maximum emotional impact. Many girls in the audience at night were in tears as they listened to the account of Jesus. We were all encouraged the final night to go off by ourselves in the dark and commit our lives to Christ. I remember that time vaguely thinking to myself that god really wasn't there, but I think I prayed to him anyway, just in case. It wasn't a fervent prayer however, because I wasn't entirely sure I WANTED him to exist. Still, my friends were doing it, and they seemed cool and nice, so I'd do it to. I came back from camp somehow ...

Sent in by Nathan I stumbled upon this site and I would like to briefly share my story. I grew up in an ultra-conservative fundamentalist household. Bottom line: Christianity was my life! I attended a Christian middle school and high school. The brand of Christianity I was taught was “hell fire and brimstone”. I believed every word, never questioning. I attended door to door witnessing, and I helped with the church bus route. I personally led several people “to the lord”. Following high school, I attended “ Clearwater Christian College ” (similar in beliefs to Bob Jones University ). Here, I began to have my first suspicions about Christianity. Essentially this school was like a cult. Students were highly restricted to campus, and every move was monitored. All students had to sign a statement promising to follow all the rules in the handbook. This hand book was extensive with petty rules such as “no mix swimming”, “no secular music”, “no movies”, etc. Now, there were consta...

By Jeff Mark My name is Jeffrey Mark, and I'm the author of Christian No More , a book that details my deconversion. Here's the short version of my story. I recently turned 40, and until around the age of 30, I was a devout Christian. Although I grew up in a family that was far from fundamentalist, I still went to church every week, and slowly the whole theology of Heaven and Hell was pushed into my brain. Throughout my childhood I lived in constant fear that I would do something wrong, and that I had to beg for forgiveness. Every single movement I made was with God in mind, and wondering how God would feel about it. My friends generally misbehaved a lot more than I did, but it was not my place to judge them. And to me, that meant it would be wrong for me to say that what they were doing was wrong. One friend would pick on other kids and beat them up. Who was I to say that was wrong? Passing judgment was wrong. Although I never beat up any kids, I was occasionally mean and snot...

Sent in by Sam OMG! And greetings to this fabulously intelligent, reason-minded, compassionate group of people. I am so glad I found this place and I want to share my story with "the fold" ;-) I am 46. My Deconversion began many years ago in my late 20s but I am still suffering the deeply ingrained effects of the brainwashing that was taking place for my entire childhood and teen years. I am fortunate to have my brother to have gone through the Deconversion with and that has been very helpful. Now we mostly laugh at Christianity, how stupid and nonsensical it is, but I still have a lot of anger at the religion that ingrained in me that I am "bad" and "sinful to the core." What kind of f'd-up belief system teaches that to children?? I spent my entire childhood trembling in fear of my supposedly loving Creator (the one that was jealous and vengeful); I spent my entire childhood ashamed of my body because I am a woman, and Eve, The Original Woman, the mos...

Sent in by Kyle Hello all, I am writing right now just off the top of my head to tell the story of my deconversion. I know if I try to plan it all out and make it all pretty I'll never get it done. I'm finally writing this because I've just told my mother how I now really believe. She actually took better than I thought. No screaming or anything. But shes convinced I'll come back someday. ( Um, no thanks ). After getting "saved" at 16 I stayed a fundie baptist until just last November shortly after my 22nd b'day. My faith died quickly. Thanks to a book I read called "How to think about weird things" which is a critical thinking book. The book never even mentioned religion, it was more into UFOs and ghosts and stuff like that. But I applied its critiques to the claims of Christianity and found they were so similar to other claims of the paranormal and supernatural. None of them can survive a barrage from the guns of reason. I'd...

Sent in by Bryce After a couple of weeks of browsing this site and after agonizing over this issue on and off for the last few years, with the most recent being the last couple of months, I've decided to accept the fact that I'm not a Christian. My story: I grew up in more or less a religious family overall. In my immediate family my mom was religious and my dad wasn't and this would sometimes cause an issue when mom wanted to take me to church and my dad didn't agree with her forcing me to go. Anyways, eventually my parents split, and I stayed with my mom. They got back together for a while, and my dad did started getting into church and all, but it didn't last and they finally split for good. Being that I lived with my mom and had minimal contact with dad, coupled with the fact that my mom was absolutely devastated by the break up, she became EXTREMELY devout with her faith and believed that the reason my dad left/cheated was b/c "God was removing the very th...