sent in by Audie (aka Bluesman) Let me start by thanking you all for letting me join your site and giving good response to my posts. Your site was instrumental in my final de-converting. But let me start from the beginning. My Christian life began much the same as most people's who are Christians. I was Raised in a Southern Baptist church, "saved" when I was 9, sent to VBS, Youth group, summer camp, etc. It was the fear of hell-fire that drove me to the alter to get saved that night. As I grew into my teens, I backslid some, tried drugs, discovered sex, and found Rock and Roll. But at 17, I rededicated my life, and shortly after that, I "felt" called into the ministry. So after high school I attended a very Conservative Baptist college to study Christian Ministry. Right away I was swept away. The school was super Fundy. They were against everything fun. I once got preached at for kissing a girl I was dating!?!?!?! And of course the Christian Rock t...

sent in by Jason I was born and raised in an ultra-conservative Church of Christ. For years I was brainwashed with their doctrines. The particular congregation my parents attended and subsequently raised me in believed that they were the only ones who were "doctrinally pure," to the exclusion of all other denominations and also many of their fellow "churches of Christ." They claimed they were not a denomination because their only creed was the Bible, but they have an international network of similar churches who all claim not to be a denomination either. I was so endoctrinated in their exclusivism and spiritual pride that I thought I was genuinely caring about other people when I'd spend days, weeks, and months debating the most trivial issues with them, like whether or not instrumental music should be used in worship. Looking back on it now (and for the past seven years), I'm ashamed of the kind of person I was. I was so blind I couldn't see anything ...

sent in by Jason I just want to say that this is a great site! I lost my faith in religion about a year ago. I was introduced to christianity at the age of 20 and became very passionate around the age of 22. I gave it all up at the age of 25 after dealing with a lot of questions / doubt. My deconversion was not easy, the healing process takes time. There is no substitute for time. I am now 26 and back to MY LIFE. It's mine ALL mine. I love it. I am free to think as I please without any guilt. Life may be hard at times, but when it gets hard I just think about how crummy I felt at bible college with all of the questions and doubt. I can honestly say there is nothing worse in this life than doubting who you are and what you believe in. For all those who are smart enough to leave, take the time to heal and get to know yourself. You can worry about deep philosophical issues later. Love yourself and strive to love others. Thanks. Bethesda MD Montgomery Joined: 20 Left:...

sent in by Cris Where do I start.... this is so recent. I have been in some kind of church since I was born. I was "saved" at least a couple of times when I was a kid (just to be sure as I didn't feel any different) I have always believed in God and Jesus, I had no other way I could think. Sunday has always meant get dressed up and go to church, go to Sunday school then go to the main service and sing hymns, listen to the message and then after church maybe go out to eat (always a treat for us kids!) I heard the messages and tried my best to be a good Christian. When I was a teen the center of my life was the Assembly of God church where I went, all of my friends were there, there was always exciting music (the main reason I am a musician today) and interesting programs such as the AoG answer to the Boy scouts, "Royal Rangers". On Sundays and Wednesday nights I had my spiritual/emotional "high" for the week and felt the peace and joy inside that I need...

sent in by Mary Williams My testimony is similar to others I have read on this wonderful web site. I grew up in a professed atheist family. There was no hypocrisy, my father, mother and brother simply stated they didn't believe in God and acted accordingly. I too, never questioned this, being good at science in school and could believe that the Bible was simply some "stories". At age 14 , my older brother died. This created some big problems in my family as he was very loved by my parents being the only boy. My dad took to drinking more and having fits of rage. My mom was so grief-stricken that she simply dropped out of life. I was left with so much guilt at being alive and at one point heard my parents say they "wished it had been me in the casket." Needless to say, I was open to seek for some answers. I was very mad at any kind of God who could allow things like this. At this point a "born again" Baptist in my school became interested in b...

sent in by skype uk well, here goes folk...I got religion when I was 16 yrs old.To say that I was a mixed up teenager would be an under statement and I was easy prey for street evangelists.To cut a long story short i got converted into pentecostalism.My elation at having been "saved" and found the truth was short lived.I made a dreadful mistake...i started to read the bible for myself. what an eye opener. what i was been told (indoctrinated with) was at odds with the bible itself."God loves everyone and died for them" i was told and yet I read of god killing people relentlessly.Week after week and bible study after bible study i was told that the bible is infallable and yet i couldnt reconcile the contradictions within its pages.The more i read the more i questioned and the more I questioned the more annoyed the elders got with me until eventually they suspended me from the church for three months "for being negative".And still i went back,such was my des...

sent in by Bria I was born raised and baptized Roman Catholic by two wonderful parents. My bio grandfather insisted I go to a catholic school. After a few years at a secular private school, I left because the principal was physically abusive. I went to catholic school for a few years and did not do well academically. I wasn’t happy there and tried to do anything to get thrown out. The principal was a fake, he put on a front to show he was nice but he was very arrogant. When I was 8 years old a spirit said someone in this (my grandmother’s) house would be murdered. Five months later, my grandmother was murdered by her best friend as the spirit said. I’ve had other spiritual experiences but this one was the most profound. At 16 I was walking through a bookstore with my Mom and I picked up a book called Zen Catholicism. At 17 my boss had a book called the Te of piglet. I read it for a few minutes while I was at work. It opened the door slightly. I felt unsatisfied with Catholicism, t...

sent in by 33yroldsinglefemaleinDallas My story is like so many here. I was raised in a typical Christian family. My father passed away when I was 14, which made me become more serious about my faith for a while. I think it was the only way I knew how to deal with the loss at the time, thinking I would one day see him again in heaven. I went of the deep end in what I thought was sin in my early 20s. I was so miserable. I had such bad depression that was compounded by eating disorders and a drug problem that developed trying to stay thin. After sever panic attacks, I picked up my bible. I went so full force into Christianity thinking I would be set free from my "evil" desires. I went to a spirit filled church and bible college. I was on staff at the church. I was so consumed by the whole lifestyle I lived in as much of a constant state of prayer and worship as humanly possible. I was obsessive compulsive about it. I even went around bursting in tongues in my car driving around...

sent in by Ethan S. Well, I have been coming to this site for over a year, but only now have I decided to actually post. First of all, this site has really helped me a lot. As far as proof there were others like me, and that "leaving the faith" was possible. Also, it's been great as far as a place for resources when debating Christians. My story is a long one, but I'll try to keep it short. I was born in a very Christian household, and I was raised that way. As a child, I was always the best in giving answers in Sunday School. I could always tell them what they wanted to hear, and they would hear it. However, at the same time, things just didn't fit in. One teacher I had told us dinosaurs did not exist. I was confused. Also, I wondered why Yahweh no longer spoke to anyone and why there were no more Jesus-like miracles performed by Christians to this day. I was never exposed to anything else. This was the only paradigm I knew for viewing the world, so I coul...

sent in by Sandy So many Christians claim to love those around them, but cause so much trouble and heartache when they show that "love". And unfortunately my six year old child was hurt by this Christian "love". In December I realized what a sham Christianity is and left a home bible study group. People who I thought were friends, my kid even called them "grandma" and "grandpa", have helped to traumatize a small child. I most unfortunately went with the "spare the rod a spoil the child" idea of parenting. I sadly gave in to the pressure. Well in July i realized that I was being abusive to my child, so I went to the Child Protective Services for help. I have been very lucking in that they have truly helped me and my child. Shortly after asking for help I sent my child to a relatives house, who kept in contact with the former bible study group. At this point CPS had already closed the case against me. (after only two weeks). Suddenly I ...

sent in by Joanne I am from Ireland but I have lived in the USA for several years now. I was raised Catholic and was a regular churchgoer. I said the rosary a couple of times a week. I disagreed with the church on some issues, such as birth control, but I still saw it as a force for good. In 1992, the High Court in Ireland ruled that a 13 year old suicidal rape victim could not go to England to have an abortion. The girl was prohibited from leaving the country for a period of nine months. The ruling created national outrage and the decision was overturned a couple of weeks later. http://www.swp.ie/html/Abortion%20pamphlet.htm Of course, the Church was opposed to the second ruling allowing the abortion. A friend of mine was raped, so I have some understanding of the horrible impact this crime has on it's victims. I was troubled at the Church's lack of compassion for this child. I had been raised to believe that God/Jesus was loving, merciful and compassionate. Yet the Church...

William Boutwell 'Twas long ago, and yet not that long, that I found myself on my knees blubbering tears of guilt and "giving" my heart to Jesus. I'd just attended a chapel service at a youth camp on scholarship from my local church during the summer of '66. The minister was shooting fish in a barrel that year, it seems, as I wasn't alone there on my knees. Several other kids were there blubbering along with me. It seems silly to me now, but at the time it was easily the most profound thing that had ever happened to me. I was "saved" from my sins... The next summer, I was baptised in one of the lakes that abound in this part of Florida. Yes, I was dressed in Sunday best, and Reverend Black gently laid me back into the water and dunked me under for a few seconds. Shortly after being removed from the water, it occured to me that something wasn't quite right about all of this. Later that day, when he asked me if I wanted to join the rolls of the chu...

sent in by PastorPrime I was brought up in a Congregational Methodist family in the Southeast US. Congregational Methodism ( http://congregationalmethodist.net/churches.htm ) is Wesleyan in theology (John Wesley; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Wesley ). In its governance, each church is controlled by its own congregation, not by some bishop apart from the local church, and is in this way unlike United Methodist churches. It differs, also, from most United Methodist churches in its conservatism and biblical literalism. In my youth (1960s), I learned from my parents that I was to believe in God; I was to read my Bible and pray; I was to learn from preachers and Sunday School teachers. These things I did. I love history and enjoyed Bible stories, especially from the Old Testament. The Bible was the most readily available way for a boy to indulge his natural interest in violence and warfare…and sex! I took it very seriously and learned to be quite dogmatic. And, why not? After all, the ...

sent in by Christopher Michaels Four years ago I thought I had found what so few around the world needed. The cross, a testament of his glory and love for all of humanity. This man, Jesus Christ, was the person who for the last four years I had made the center and core of my life. I remember the heartache I felt when people would put down or curse the Holy Trinity or when a non-believer would reject the offer of eternal salvation. These people were fools to reject such an offer, and I would debate with them for hours for their lack of faith... I now realize that I was the one that was the fool and how wrong I was for believing in such a cult. But I now stand before you with my testimony and assurance that I am no longer a doll. I apologize... I was raised with a mildly christian childhood, my mother and father were believers of the faith, but not very devouted. I lived a pretty much normal childhood before christianity, a life free of judgment of others, or fear of being unequally yoke...

sent in by Kevin Cadman I was quite a happy teenager, partying, drinking, girlfriends -- the usual. I've never been into drugs and never will be. I was a typical, run-of-the-mill teenager, getting up to a fair amount of mischief, but nothing serious. Then, my mother converted to Christianity. I'd always labelled myself as somewhat agnostic (although, at the time, I did not quite know what that term meant), as I didn't really have much of an interest in Christianity or any other religion - I simply enjoyed my life too much. I had no interest in changing my life. My brothers' conversion soon followed, and he too started attending the non-denominational, exceptionally happy-clappy church. They were often on my case, asking my silly thought-provoking questions to try and get me thinking. None of it really worked, but I was vehemently assured that they were praying for me. When I stopped and looked at my life, I didn't think there was something "missing" as my ...

sent in by Fred Brane I became a Christian, about a year after the death of my first wife, while on active military duty in Kunsan Korea in 1977. The trek through Christianity went from baptist, pentecostal and non-denominational churches. Some of the churches were independents, not affiliated with any denominational organizations. I read the bible trying to figure out what was what, finally found a minister who studied a lot and he taught me how to use methods of interpretation and what resources to use to dig out what was in the bible. He also told me I would not agree with any of the sources totally when I got into the deeper study, and he was right. He made a statement from the pulpit on one occasion, he said "there are four to five thousand errors in the King James version Bible alone." When he made the statement I saw him cringe. He knew what was said was accurate, I found many as I studied myself. I don't think he included the additions, blatant lies and cha...

sent in by Mitch When I was growing up everyone I knew was a believer. Even when I moved to California everyone was always respectful about my beliefs. In my Junior year of college I was working on a project. One member of the group was a born and raised agnostic. I was really attracted to her and decided this was the girl I was going to marry. Of course, I had to save her first. One day we were alone together at the library working on our part of the project. I invited her to Bible study. She said to me do you really believe that stuff? I said of course I do. She looked at me incredulously and said you really believe it? I didn't know what to say. Whenever I went to Bible study or church services I found myself thinking do I really believe this. I felt like an outsider seeing something for the first time. I finally confided my doubts to a friend. He said "You only doubt because you think too much." I found Dan Barker's and Ruth Hurmence Green's books and rea...

sent in by Terrence Anderson Wow, hi every one this is quite ironic that I'm posting a testimony on being an atheist seeing I was a theology student a couple of months ago. I would like to thank all the people on this website for being an invaluable source of info and wisdom. My story begins with me being born into a Christian family in South Africa where Christianity is pretty much the norm. I was a devout Christian my whole live and in high school I decided to become a minister to help people that have being lead astray by evil. I decided to put myself in their shoes and this is where the paw-paw really hit the fan cause low and behold the rubbish the atheists where talking made more sense than my story. Thus my journey began and the past few months have being hell. I was torn between the truth and the fear of letting go of all the crap I’ve been fed my whole life. I finally managed to let go and, damn it felt good. I still respect peoples religion because I once too was deceived...

sent in by Janet I don't know where to begin. I could really go on forever about this. I was born to a Catholic mother and had no choice whatsoever. I was forced to attend mass and religious classes and even went to a Catholic kindergarten run by nuns. The nuns scared the crap out of me and at 5 years old I was already confused. Shouldn't I feel safe with the nuns? Aren't they supposed to be "good"? I never understood the many contradictions of religion and the readings from mass, and whenever I asked about them, I got the same lame answer. "It's a mystery." Well, my mind doesn't wrap around "mysteries", and my mother would get very angry when I questioned her religion. In my eyes, religion has caused more problems that it has ever helped. I don't even have to go into the wars fought and lives lost and torture and rape and pillaging done in the name of religion. (There's not a doubt in my mind that if there were no re...