tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12669850402902426632024-03-23T04:30:33.384-04:00ExChristian.NetEncouraging doubting, de-converting, deconstructing and former ChristiansDave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-91556272354220481582022-11-29T16:36:00.001-05:002022-11-29T16:36:15.798-05:00The Star of Bethlehem - an Astronomers Perspective<div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYBySam7HJggwSPXAKfPc8KpY-69QIF3Cb-dpj132gzpoDg6YS8qKdwm88yWexYarhy1cU4ySYqVdZLxHzImkAyXKAZgfve23OpShjF3UHrML1OwpgLMj1XeWCfcbt0M0k5b74S4CddsGiciF2eDSuwRWZyrDwNpdzwe_9GxJ--xB7TTc0vnr5TktO/s986/starofbethlehem.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" data-original-height="555" data-original-width="986" height="360" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYBySam7HJggwSPXAKfPc8KpY-69QIF3Cb-dpj132gzpoDg6YS8qKdwm88yWexYarhy1cU4ySYqVdZLxHzImkAyXKAZgfve23OpShjF3UHrML1OwpgLMj1XeWCfcbt0M0k5b74S4CddsGiciF2eDSuwRWZyrDwNpdzwe_9GxJ--xB7TTc0vnr5TktO/w640-h360/starofbethlehem.jpg" width="640" /></a></div><div><i><br /></i></div><div><i>By Paul Hannah ~</i></div><br />
<span class="dropcap">E</span>very year articles appear in the mainstream press and magazines speculating on the 'real' explanation for the Star of Bethlehem. Given our modern understanding of astronomy, there are a number of candidates which have been given to explain the phenomenon and fit the Bible story. However, even if the ideal star or astronomical object could be found there are serious practical problems with taking the story on face value.
<br /><br />
<b><i>The Bible gives the story as follows:</i></b>
<br /><br />
<blockquote>Now when Jesus was born in Bethlehem of Judaea in the days of Herod the king, behold, there came wise men from the east to Jerusalem, saying, Where is he that is born King of the Jews? for we have seen his star in the east And then: Lo, the star, which they saw in the east, went before them, till it came and stood over where the young child was. – Matthew 2:1-12</blockquote>
<br />The astronomical elements of the story are: The Wise Men came from the east, they saw a 'star' in the east, they followed it and it stood stationary over the stable.
<br /><br />
The 'Wise men", also known as 'Magi' are located by a number of traditions and historians to come from Media in Persia, modern day Iran, a place to the east of Bethlehem. These men were probably astronomers and astrologers (at that time the two occupations were interchangeable) so we can assume that they were at least familiar with the night sky and the motion of stars and planets.
<br /><br />
Stars appear to rotate in the sky around the north and south celestial poles. Those closer to the poles describe a circle in the sky and are called circumpolar, the ones closer to the equator only describe an arc.
<br /><br />
At the latitude of Persia non-circumpolar stars rise in the east, trace an arc over the southern sky and then set in the west. If the Magi followed an ordinary non-circumpolar star as it moved across the sky, they would walk in ever widening circles, which may after a long journey have ended up in Bethlehem, but it is unlikely. Or they could have picked a time, noted the direction of the star and travelled that direction and reaffirmed the direction each night at the same time. Or the Bible could be literally true and the star could have just stayed in one spot in the sky to be followed From Persia (or anywhere east of Bethlehem).
<br /><br />
To get to Bethlehem from Persia, the Magi needed to travel west and yet the Bible clearly says the star was in the east. If our three *wise* men travelled to Bethlehem from Persia by going in the direction of the star, it would require a circumnavigation of the world through China, across the Pacific, North America, Europe and finally the Middle East. Not the route we'd consider today, even if we didn't have to rely on camels and horses. If the star was circumpolar, the Magi would have travelled roughly north, not west, in which case they could never arrive at Bethlehem as the closer they travelled to the north pole, the more circular their route.
<br /><br />
For a star to appear to remain 'fixed' in the sky it must counter the rotation of the Earth – it would have to move relative to the other stars in the sky and follow the Earth as it rotates on its axis. Einstein would have a problem with this. The Earth rotates at the latitude of Bethlehem at about 1400 kph, for a star to appear stationary it must rotate around the earth at that relative speed. But the further away from Earth the star was, the greater the arc it traces through space and the faster it must travel to appear to maintain its position. If the star was any further than around 4 billion km from earth it would be travelling at beyond the universal speed limit, the speed of light. This trajectory would place the star inside the orbit of Pluto. Stars in their light emitting stages of life come in many sizes, from thousands of times larger than our sun (eg <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/VY_Canis_Majoris" target="_blank">VY Canis Majoris</a>) to red dwarfs one of which (<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/OGLE-TR-122" target="_blank">OGLE-TR-122b</a>) has been measured to just a little larger than Jupiter. A star of any visible size this close to earth, even a red dwarf would be of interest to more than a couple of Persians. We would expect at the very least the Chinese astronomers to have recorded it but there is no other record anywhere of such an event.
As Bethlehem is not on the equator, the star would not be technically in a geosynchronous orbit, that is, not in orbit around the centre of the Earth, rather it would be orbiting some point between the centre and the north pole. At any distances required for the respective gravitational fields to interact, it would not be our little Earth that called the shots - although technically we know from Newton that bodies orbit around a point between each other, the star would be dominant and we would appear to orbit it. Irrespective of this, such a body, suddenly appearing inside our solar system, would affect the planets and even our sun, probably catastrophically.
<br /><br />
<b><i>Could it have been a 'wandering star' passing through our Solar System?</i></b>
<br /><br />
It strains credulity to imagine a star passing through the solar system as close as it would have to be without disturbing the orbits of our own or any other planet. If this is the explanation, surely more than a handful of people would have noticed? If it was a 'wandering star' where is it now? It could only be less than 2022 light years away, easily visible to modern astronomers. No such 'wandering star' is known.
<br /><br />
<b><i>What about a conjunction of planets or stars or of planets and stars?</i></b>
<br /><br />
The same problems of real versus apparent motion (or lack of it) apply, plus each object would have differing orbits giving different apparent speeds across the sky. Consequently conjunctions don't last very long, far shorter than it takes to drive from Baghdad to Bethlehem let alone ride a horse or camel.
<br /><br />
Further, even if an object, let's call it a star, could point the way somewhere, it could only point a line between it and the observer. Travelling along that line could give you the direction to take but no indication of the point to stop along the line. For example, if the star shone in the sky seemingly above a stable then how would they know it was that stable and not the hundreds that lay beyond? The fact is they couldn't. Take a look at any star tonight. It may appear to be above a tree (or a house or a rock) but if you walk beyond that tree then the star is above something else. There can be no indication, just from that star, of distance from the observer.
<br /><br />
Consequently our Magi, if they followed a star in the east, would travel in the wrong direction, possibly in circles and with no idea where to stop. That they got to Bethlehem in their lifetime, would be amazing enough, but to find a particular stable and know to stop there, must have truly been a miracle. And anyway, if the Magi could follow a star to the stable, why did they stop and ask Herod for directions. Asking a Bronze Age king where the baby is that will replace him was an incredibly stupid thing to do. What else would Herod do, but kill all the babies? And to save all that unnecessary slaughter of the innocents, couldn't god have told them (in a dream or something) to stay away from sociopathic kings?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br />Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-6611237733482158042021-12-14T22:23:00.003-05:002021-12-14T22:26:55.797-05:00Ho Ho Oh No It Ain't SoBy Carl S ~ <br /><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjkfBHP2Fsvtvdk3lOK8NpW27ddrK7kydyjIgt0P2UAmkZjrjLBf04530P22606-MENSihHPyzLubsgJ9Qj39rxogoeUWRbGN94rbVfsilk2OB9o8azjwmYEb0NjQBY4IXkUX7faQ0Rai9-YBEp1-LVlLn_00ab1qy6_YJBVi0HVfxNe-UPlOySMLfv=s1023" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="731" data-original-width="1023" height="458" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/a/AVvXsEjkfBHP2Fsvtvdk3lOK8NpW27ddrK7kydyjIgt0P2UAmkZjrjLBf04530P22606-MENSihHPyzLubsgJ9Qj39rxogoeUWRbGN94rbVfsilk2OB9o8azjwmYEb0NjQBY4IXkUX7faQ0Rai9-YBEp1-LVlLn_00ab1qy6_YJBVi0HVfxNe-UPlOySMLfv=w640-h458" width="640" /></a></div>
<span class="dropcap">I</span>t's that time of year when people hear the story of a star traveling right above Earth, leading men to a structure, where it stops and hangs around for hours! ( Global Positioning Star, or Ancient UFO?)
<br /><br />
The reason for the Christmas story is said to be of utmost importance: It's claimed (no witnesses), the first humans did something naughty by following the advice of a Talking Snake! This “evil” was enough to punish the entire human race, forever. In order to pay the penalty for it, the child born on the first Christmas had to be tortured to death for three hours! This gory “solution” is preached as the greatest example of love! If you're willing to accept this package: would you believe all animals on Earth, predators and prey, could live peacefully packed together, on a boat, for over a hundred days? Would you believe only a few people on Earth worth saving were the ones standing by watching their friends and neighbors drown? What about five loaves of bread feeding five thousand men alone? Would you believe four thousand, with seven loaves? What if they're really big loaves?
<br /><br />
Would you believe that, for children, faith is just another habit to learn, together with how to eat, just as they trustfully accept histories of family and ancestors, (which may or not be true), and learn cultured habits, right along with their potty training? Isn't trust just another survival mechanism? “Don't ask why” is the answer they get when they question a learned habit. These are all called, “tradition.” When one grows up, shouldn't one shelve or abort the impregnated fantasies? Not everyone does.
<br /><br />
Most people don't take scriptural stories extremely seriously, and those who do often cause trouble. (Ask the witnesses to 9/11 and the Parisians who were there for reactions to the cartoon of Mohammed.) Allah/God, has no sense of humor. Comedians and cartoonists find a ton of examples to laugh at in alleged “holy” texts. Blasphemy is the laughter of free people with freedom to speak their minds and tell it like it is. If you don't think this is true, just look at the places where it's a crime, where you can even be executed for not pretending to believe.
<br /><br />
<span class="pullquote">When one grows up, shouldn't one shelve or abort the impregnated fantasies?</span> Religious stories sound familiar, like something you'd find in Qanon and other conspiracy and alternate-reality sites. They all have millions of followers. Seems like the last time an abundance of technology went amok was in the Roaring Twenties, when “Anything Goes.” Now new bible printings will have to include the Prosperity Gospel. I don't know what your experiences are, trying to discuss beliefs, but whenever I ask for evidence to back them up, I get an angry, “It's The Truth!”or, “Just believe it.” Hmm,, same problem trying to have conversations with people of faith or cult members. Asking for proof is rejected, over their emotional intensity of being privileged insiders to secret worlds.
<br /><br />
Nothing new, here. As far back as the 2nd century C.E., the Christian apologist Tertullian, wrote: “It is impossible for a man to return from death; therefore it must be true.” Investigate the multitude of bizarre things believed as “truth” on this planet, and you might be tempted to ask yourself Why should nonsense be respected when it's earned the opposite of respect? It's no mystery: What every single conspiracy theory/alternative reality, shares in common with cults and religions: they all require an initial “ leap of faith,” and to keep that feeling leaping. This desire makes every one of them “True.”
<br /><br />
So here we are at yuletide in the 21st century, expecting rational judgements from Supreme Court justices entrusted to make decisions based on evidence alone, not faith, not opinion, not hearsay. Let's hope they have doubts about dogmas, because six of those justices belong to a faith which professes, despite all evidence to the contrary, that crackers are the living body of a man who died two thousand years ago. For a start, let's hope they don't take that one too seriously.
<br />Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-80742923731699136152019-12-08T10:25:00.001-05:002019-12-08T10:26:44.066-05:00Coping With Religious Family Over the Holidays<i>By Marlene Winell ~ </i><br />
<br />
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNqHjiQ-BUJglEQmnynDqslMeFf3aEOGK5h6O9FMPHphy8xcudAl9So_3kr5xhjQ_fLkddmM0HDdvqTRPyjv4jgdJQR3sh-cqB6p7U4F-SAY9KcBXB5BkEvpBwPk0ZZ7n0oHaFsnaDt1I/s1600/familygatherings.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="510" data-original-width="763" height="426" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNqHjiQ-BUJglEQmnynDqslMeFf3aEOGK5h6O9FMPHphy8xcudAl9So_3kr5xhjQ_fLkddmM0HDdvqTRPyjv4jgdJQR3sh-cqB6p7U4F-SAY9KcBXB5BkEvpBwPk0ZZ7n0oHaFsnaDt1I/s640/familygatherings.jpg" width="640" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span class="dropcap">A</span>t this time of year it’s hard to avoid dealing with the differences you have with your family. If you are a “reclaimer” (reclaiming your life after being religious) who has been raised in a religious household, holiday times can be very uncomfortable when other family members are still devout. Having worked through these issues with many clients, here are a few guidelines that might be helpful. <span style="box-sizing: inherit;"><span id="more-2784" style="box-sizing: inherit; box-sizing: inherit;"></span></span></span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">I’ll start by suggesting you write in a journal, starting now and continuing through the holidays. This can help you sort through jumbled thoughts and emotions, stay on track with how you are trying to handle things, take care of yourself, and learn. There are exercises here to prompt your thinking.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">In general, if you plan to be with family at this time, it helps a great deal to approach the holidays with a high level of consciousness. In other words, don’t just blindly go home for Christmas, hoping it will be fine. What do you really expect it might be like? This refers to both external factors and how you will feel. What experiences have you had so far with your family? What have you found to work or not work in getting along? Write something about this in your journal.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">Sometimes reclaimers simply avoid going home in order to avoid conflict. At times this is the only healthy course of action. But sometimes, by planning ahead, it can be possible to navigate around the land mines. The difference in this approach, compared to simply not showing up, is that you are acting out of reasoned choice and not out of fear or anger.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">In the process of recovering from the harm done by religious indoctrination, most people reach a point at which they must weigh “coming out” as a nonbeliever because the tension of “integrity vs. intimacy” becomes too much. That is, the urge to be true to oneself becomes stronger than the need for approval required to stay close to family members. It does not need to happen right away, and can take a variety of forms. However, holiday time puts pressure on your relationships, and it could raise this question for you. If you haven’t already, spend some time thinking about whether this is the time to come out with family. It may or may not be. There are also degrees of being “out” and probably different family members to consider being more or less open with about your new thoughts and feelings.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">Here’s a basic plan for coping. There are external action items, as well as internal or mental techniques. You may notice a bonus here, which is that there are great lessons to learn that apply to your growth and recovery generally.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem; text-align: center;">
<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bolder;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">Preparation</span></span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bolder;">Clarify Intention.</span> As you think about what you want to do, realize that you do not have an obligation to spend holiday time with family. (What?) If you commit not to do anything out of guilt or obligation, this will make it easier to choose what amount of contact you want and what form it will take. You need to let your parents take responsibility for their own feelings, which are often the result of choices they have made in their own lives. It doesn’t mean you have to be unkind. You can certainly be empathic in your expression, such as, “I know you would like me to be home for Christmas and this is a surprise, and I’m sorry you feel disappointed. At the same time, spending it on my own this year is what I feel is best for me, and I’m hoping you will accept that.” You can also suggest alternative plans for what you think is workable – the number of days, phone contact instead, inviting them to your place, etc.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">If this sounds like you being the grown-up, that’s right. Especially if you are in early stages of recovering from religion, you are learning about taking care of yourself. In the language I use for this, your Adult self is learning to take charge and care for your Child self. You are no longer considering yourself helpless, weak, stupid, or basically bad. You don’t need saving and you don’t need to outsource your needs for guidance and love to a god or church. This is great and freeing; it’s also a big responsibility. When you go visit your parents, your Adult absolutely needs to take good care of your Child. Otherwise, it is all too easy to regress to a childlike state and have problems fairly immediately.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">Let me explain a bit more about this, because this is a powerful coping strategy. Your Adult is the part of you that can think rationally, have intention, and plan ahead. It’s also the part that can nurture and care for your Child self by advocating for your Child’s needs. So, before you even start on this visit, you, as an adult, can think about your Intention for this visit. Do you want it to be a jolly Christmas just like when you were a kid, with Santa and hot chocolate? Are you going to church on Christmas Eve? Why or why not? How will you handle it? Will you be discussing your beliefs? Do you want any religion at all? Why do you want to go? What are you hoping for that is actually possible? What are you willing to let go of that is not possible? Do you want to engage in debates? Will you be “coming out”? If you are asked about who you are now or what you believe, how will you answer?</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Writing exercise: </em>Write out your intentions for your visit.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bolder;">Self-care. </span> Now, as you know, the best of intentions don’t always work out. That’s why you feel nervous. In the self-care terminology I’m using, it’s your Child that’s scared, and it’s my opinion that your real obligation is to make sure that your Child feels safe, both before and during the visit. (This usage of “Child” refers to the natural, innocent, child-like, emotional aspect of you that requires love and care, and is vulnerable. It was not sinful at birth, and when healed from abusive indoctrination, can be happy and healthy.) This might mean taking breaks in order to self-soothe with some positive self-talk. Ultimately, it would include promising to simply leave if the situation became too uncomfortable. I always explain to my clients that as they are healing, the trust between Adult and Child needs to strengthen, so a good thing is to promise your Child that you will take her/him away if a situation gets bad or painful, just like you would a real child who was struggling.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">Christmas is often a little tender for an inner child since there might be memories of good things, sadness over losses, or confusion at this time. If you spend a little time consulting your Child about what aspects of the holiday you still want to experience, what do you find? Making cookies? Writing cards to family and friends? Singing? Playing in the snow? Cutting paper snow flakes? If you want to avoid the commercialism of too much gift buying, are there substitutes you prefer? If you are not just a victim of the holiday, what might you accept or arrange for your little self to enjoy? Or what would you help others enjoy? For ideas about celebrating and reclaiming the Christmas holiday as a nonbeliever, go <a href="https://valerietarico.com/2012/12/11/twelve-christmas-traditions/"><span style="color: #003c32;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; touch-action: manipulation;">Here</span></span> </a>for an article by Valerie Tarico.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">Imagining various scenarios, what do you think your options might be if you get overwhelmed by your relatives’ religious talk? Can you excuse yourself, take a break, change the subject, focus on something else? Do you need to bring anything along to help? A game or puzzle?</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Writing exercise:</em> Write a letter to your Inner Child from your Adult self, explaining how you will provide protection during the visit, and promising to leave if necessary. Describe the fun things that will be included. Talk about what you will do if you are getting triggered by too much religiosity. Make a list of options you will have ready.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bolder;">Reframe the Religion. </span> Especially if your family is very devout and authoritarian about their beliefs, you need to have a way of thinking about their religion that is different from the way you did as a child. That may sound obvious because intellectually you have decided you don’t believe any more. However, when in the situation, you may respond emotionally, and even intensely. This is not because you have reverted to “believing” but because you can be triggered at a gut level to fear that it is true. Rethinking this belief system is a larger task of recovery that can take time and work, and is very important. For now, the challenge is to be in your old environment and not slip into being your old self or be intimidated by old forces. You can prepare by thinking about what this religion is – e.g., a belief system like many other ancient systems that has evolved to help people cope with what they don’t understand, a virus, a meme complex, etc. Anything but The Truth. Even if it feels true because everyone around you is treating it like the truth. Hundreds of years ago everyone believed the earth was flat, it looked flat, and it felt flat. But that wasn’t true either.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">Thinking about the religion as the source of the conflict, difference, pain, and separation in your family (or at least part of it), may help you feel less direct anger or frustration with the people involved. As a virus, religion propagates by getting passed on to small children, and continues through generations. Essentially, your parents were infected and thus victims as well. They did not have these religious ideas at birth, and even now, they each have an inner child too (weird, huh?) You were fortunate to escape, and also to be congratulated for finding your way out! A holiday visit is probably not the time to go deep into family work, so I’m not suggesting you look for understanding each other, find forgiveness, or anything else that is complicated. However, just knowing that your family members did not invent this very pernicious system might help you relax and have a bit of compassion. It does mean that you did not suffer or that your issues will not ever be addressed.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Writing exercise:</em> Before you head for a family get-together, write about how you conceptualize your religion now, and review your reasons for leaving. How does it feel to view your relatives in the context of larger forces?</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bolder;">Communicate clearly with family. </span> After sorting through all your thoughts and feelings, you need to state clearly to your relatives your intentions for your time together. This is before you leave home. I suggest this be done simply and from the heart, and say more, not less. Include all of your feelings – your nervousness, your hesitation, your hopes, your fears, your love, your clarity about limits. It helps to write it down first, or rehearse it with someone. Here’s an example. You would alter it to suit you of course. I’ve written it as if a monologue, but it would be broken up to allow the other person to speak.</span></div>
<span class="pullquote" style="background-color: white;">A Journey Free Retreat weekend, led by Dr. Marlene Winell, provides a safe place to process experiences with the support of others who understand. The next retreat is January 17-20, 2020. <a href="https://journeyfree.org/retreats/">CLICK HERE</a> for more information.</span><br />
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">“Hi Mom, I’ve been trying to decide what to do about Christmas and this is hard for me to talk about. I’m a bit worried I don’t have the right words, so please be patient with me here. (deep breath). The last thing I want to do is upset you, and I know that you might have to get used to what’s happening with me. I’ve changed so much and not always comfortable being around family. . . I’m sure you went through a lot of growing up changes when you were my age too. . . . I hope you can understand. . . anyway I do want to see you guys and I want to have a nice time. I love you. I know you want to see me. . . I won’t be staying for a full week like usual; it’ll just be three days. . . I just need a bit of time for myself this year. . . yes, I can hear that you are disappointed, and I’m sorry about that. . . I do want to make the time we have together the best we can, and I have some suggestions about that. We always enjoy hikes in the woods so lets remember to do that, ok? And here’s something important – I’d like to keep our conversations to what we are doing in our regular lives, and of course chat about what we are doing together in the moment, like making your famous pecan pie, which I want to learn, by the way. I’d like to stay away from religion for now since I’m sorting that out for myself and I’m not comfortable discussing it. I know that this isn’t easy for you but I’m hoping you can accept it so that I can feel relaxed. . . I certainly don’t want to be avoiding you or avoiding a visit on Christmas. I just have to be honest, you know? Also, I won’t be going to church on Christmas Eve. But I’d love to babysit the grandkids and play games with them while you are out. Do you have any more ideas? Anything you’d like me to bring?”</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">Naturally, you would be pausing to listen to let the other party speak and respond with empathy. That is, gently and with understanding rephrase what you have heard so they know that you are listening. At the end of the call, it’s okay to ask them to repeat back to you what you have said, e.g. “Could you do something for me before we finish? This is important to me and I’ll be much more relaxed if I feel sure I’ve communicated well. Could you please repeat back to me what you think I’m asking so I can know if I’ve been clear?” And of course, “Thank-you, I appreciate it,” etc.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Writing exercise:</em> Write out what you want to say to your family when you discuss your holiday plans.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bolder;">Support. </span> <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Have a buddy.</em> While you prepare for this visit, talk it over with someone who understands. This may be a fellow “reclaimer” or just a good friend. They can help by role-playing your phone conversation with family and also be there to listen to just your side of the conversation. This helps you to see yourself in part through their eyes rather than just through the eyes of the person on the other end of the call. During your family visit as well, it’s a good idea to arrange to have someone available to you to talk and get support. At a time of stress, you might well benefit from calling this friend.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Back-up plan.</em> If you know that the visit might not go well, and you might have to leave in order to take care of yourself, plan ahead for what you will do. Set up a clear plan for where you will go and what pleasant activities you have in mind.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Writing exercise: </em>Describe what you will do instead if your family visit ends early.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem; text-align: center;">
<span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bolder;"><span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">During the Visit</span></span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bolder;">Maintain intention. </span> Bring along your journal and have your written intention handy to reread to remind yourself. You will probably need this. Most people find it challenging to stay “Adult” when certain situations call for it. Being with religious family is usually one of them. This is not to say your Child cannot play and hopefully there will be opportunity for that. But to stay safe, and feel like you are maintaining who you are now, rereading your intentions will help. You can add to the journaling of course, and you will notice developments. One of them will be to relate to family members with new awareness. You may have some new compassion for a cousin who seem stuck in the faith, for example. Or you may see how your mother obeys your father and represses her own expression. If your intention is “to spend some quality time with close family members and keep connected,” you can concentrate on that and not drift into debates.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">Staying with your intentions may also include repeating yourself to others. What you said at the beginning before coming to the holiday gathering may need restating, to more than one person, and more than one time. If you aren’t afraid to do this, and express yourself with both compassion and assertiveness, your sense of self will begin to feel more self-defined and less vulnerable.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bolder;">Step Back. </span> <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Play anthropologist.</em> Once you have recognized that religion is a huge meme complex that takes on a power of its own, you can view people within that system from that perspective. Other reclaimers I’ve known have found it very useful to visit family and maintain some distance by pretending to have the viewpoint of an anthropologist. This attitude is nonjudgmental, curious, and unemotional. An anthropologist often takes the role of “participant observer” in order to gain access to a group, and learn about their customs. So you can watch everyone bow their heads, close their eyes and speak to an imaginary being, and find that very interesting without freaking out. They might all go off to celebrate the child of this imaginary being who was born thousands of years ago, and has somehow saved them. Fascinating. The songs are also quite amazing in the stories they tell.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Writing exercise:</em> As a social scientist, describe in your journal what you are learning about this culture you are observing. Let yourself enjoy the quirky things you are noticing.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Translate the words.</em> Now sometimes it can get more personal, and that when it’s more challenging. How do you feel when you are asked, “Where are you fellowshipping now?” We forget how arbitrary the Christian symbols and terms are in the vast array of mythological options. How about the Greek gods or Atlantis or Rama and Sita? What about Australian “little people,” Irish leprechauns, and faeries? You can diffuse the heavy loading of Christian language by translating words in your head. When your father asks you, “How’s your walk with the Lord?”, you can hear “How’s your walk with the leprechaun king?” and “When did you go to church last?” translates “When did you last dance with the faeries in the moonlight?” If they read the Bible together, you can see them in a cave poring over ancient leprechaun scriptures. Of course they believe all of it, and you won’t be able to convince them otherwise. More importantly, you don’t need to get scared, or even angry. When you reply, “That’s not really part of my life anymore,” you can do so calmly, as if you just don’t make treks into the forest to see fairies at midnight any longer.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Writing exercise:</em> Describe what it is like to reinterpret Christian messages and respond accordingly.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">It’s not all about you.</em> Much as these relationship issues may hurt, the truth is that it’s not personal. Religion itself causes separation between people, it causes dogmatism, and it makes it very difficult for people to listen, change, or learn. This religion your family has is much bigger than you. So if you do not take it personally, you will be much happier. Try to breathe and bring some equanimity to the situation, knowing that you have done nothing wrong.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bolder;">Step Up. </span> <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Stay with your values.</em> Regardless of what is happening, do what you want to do because that is what you have decided. For example, if everyone wants to do more shopping, and you want some fun time with the children, choose that. Reclaim your holiday. Remember why you decided to make the visit. Do what brings you and others joy and meaning. <em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Connect as humans.</em> That may sound funny but the truth is religious people develop dual personalities. One lives in a “spiritual” world of angels and demons and worries about sin and an afterlife. The other is an ordinary human being like you and me who likes to eat good food, needs love, watches movies, appreciates sunsets, hates traffic jams, and will help rescue a kitten. That person likes compliments, wants to feel needed, etc. There are personality differences, but basic human needs are the same and you can stick to this human level as you relate. In fact, I’ve found that many religious people actually appreciate being treated in a deeply genuine way. Like everyone else, they like to be heard, they want to matter, and they need to have their thoughts and feelings count. So the best way to get along, believe it or not, is to ignore their religion. Simply focus on the human side of life, and if they bring up religious things, bring it back to reality. If that doesn’t work, take a break, and/or repeat your intention like I describe in the beginning.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Let go of approval.</em> A leftover from religious training is to judge absolutely everything. This includes evaluating yourself, and being concerned about what other people think. Yet, you’ll find that it is extremely liberating to do what you consider the right thing to do simply because it fits with your identity and your integrity. We often want others to appreciate us when we do good things. And in this case, if you are working very hard to become the person you really want to be, it would be nice to get acceptance, if not approval. But if you let go of that you can get satisfaction from choosing to act in harmony with your new, self-chosen values regardless of others’ reaction. Then, if your family sees you and understands you, great. If not, you have done a marvelous thing by just being with them and being yourself. It also helps to not take yourself too seriously. Don’t forget to enjoy the lighter side of your connections with others.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><span style="box-sizing: inherit; font-weight: bolder;">A word of caution and congratulations. </span> Don’t set yourself up to do everything well. You will do some things well and other things will go awry. If all went seamlessly, that would be weird. If you have to leave early, that is fine. Go to Plan B like you planned and enjoy yourself. Take care of your Child above all.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">If there is a family blow-up, so be it. Everything is process. No matter what, you and everyone else will learn. Sometimes intense emotions just have to be expressed. Sometimes family crises just have to happen, just like forest fires are a natural part of a cycle. It’s no one’s fault. It certainly helps to hang on to your sense of humor. No matter what, you are on a journey, and you are growing and healing and reclaiming your life.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;"><em style="box-sizing: inherit;">Writing exercise: </em>Don’t miss out on lessons learned. Write about what this was like for you and how you grew from the experience. In addition to the serious bits, include the funny parts.</span></div>
<div style="box-sizing: inherit; font-size: 16px; margin-bottom: 1rem;">
<span style="background-color: white; font-family: inherit;">Dealing with your family during the holidays is a step in your journey. It takes courage to recover from religion so again, I congratulate you.</span></div>
Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-30543514252032507252018-12-21T10:24:00.000-05:002019-01-04T15:37:49.082-05:00Six Hints that Baby Jesus Stories were Late Additions to Early Christian Lore<i>By Valerie Tarico ~ </i><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/manger-scene.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="599" data-original-width="800" height="239" src="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/manger-scene.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<span class="dropcap">T</span>he wonder-filled birth story of the baby Jesus was centuries in the making.<br />
<br />
Picture a creche with baby Jesus in a manger and shepherds and angels and three kings and a star over the stable roof. We think of this traditional scene as representing the Christmas story, but it actually mixes elements from <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+1-2%2CLuke+1-2&version=NRSV">two <em>different</em> nativity stories</a> in the Bible, one in Matthew and one in Luke, with a few embellishments that got added in later centuries. What was the historical kernel? Most likely we will never know, because it appears that the Bible’s nativity stories are themselves highly-embellished late add-ons to the Gospels.<br />
<br />
Here are six hints that the story so familiar to us might have been unfamiliar to early Jesus worshipers.<br />
<br />
<strong>1. Paul’s Silence – </strong>The earliest texts in the New Testament are letters written during the first half of the first century by Paul and other people who used his name. These letters, or Epistles as they are called, give no hint that Paul or the forgers who used his name had heard about any signs and wonders surrounding the birth of Jesus, nor that his mother was a virgin impregnated by God in spirit form. Paul simply says that he was a Jew, born to a woman.<br />
<br />
<strong>2. Mark’s Silence – </strong>The Gospel of Mark—thought to be the earliest of the four gospels and, so, closest to actual events—doesn’t contain a nativity or “infancy” story, even though it otherwise looks to be the primary source document for Matthew and Luke. In Mark, the divinity of Jesus gets established by wonders at the beginning of his ministry, and some Christian sects have believed that he was adopted by God at this point.<br />
<br />
Why is Mark thought to be where the authors of Matthew and Luke got material? For starters, some passages in Mark, Matthew, and Luke would likely get flagged by plagiarism software. But in the original Greek, Mark is the most primitive and least polished of the three. It also is missing powerful passages like the Sermon on the Mount and has endings that vary from copy to copy. These are some of the reasons that scholars believe it predates the other two. Unlike Paul, the author of Mark was writing a life history of Jesus, one that was full of miracles. It would have been odd for him to simply leave out the auspicious miracles surrounding the birth of Jesus—unless those stories didn’t yet exist.<br />
<br />
<b>3. A Tale of Two Tales – </b>Beyond a few basics, the nativity stories in Matthew and Luke have <a href="https://factsaboutreligion.wordpress.com/tag/nativity/">remarkably little overlap</a>. In both, Jesus is born in Bethlehem of a virgin Mary who is betrothed to a man named Joseph. That’s where the similarity ends.<br />
<br />
In Matthew’s story, an unnamed angel appears to Joseph, astrologers arrive bearing symbolic gifts, a special star appears in the east, Herod seeks to kill Jesus, warnings come during dreams, and the holy family flees to safety in Egypt just before boy infants are slaughtered across Judea.<br />
<br />
In Luke’s story, the angel Gabriel appears to the future parents of John the Baptist. They miraculously conceive, but his father is made mute as a punishment for doubting. Gabriel then appears to Mary. During a visit between the two prospective mothers, who are cousins, John the Baptist in the womb recognizes Jesus in the womb and leaps. Later when John is named, his father miraculously regains the power of speech. A census forces Mary and Joseph to go to Bethlehem, where there is no room in the inn. Jesus is born and laid in a manger/cradle, and angels sing to shepherds who visit the baby. After his naming, his parents take him to the Jerusalem temple where he is recognized and blessed by a holy man and a resident prophetess, and then the family returns to their home in Nazareth instead of going to Egypt.<br />
<br />
Some Christians try to harmonize these stories but a simpler explanation is that they represent two different branches in the tree of oral tradition. The study of European fairy tales shows that different versions of the stories tend to split off, with characters and magical elements diverging over time much like an evolutionary tree. The Matthew and Luke nativity stories likely underwent a similar process, meaning that oral traditions circulated and evolved for some time before the two authors inscribed their respective versions. Scholars debate how much the authors further <a href="https://vridar.org/2014/09/15/how-and-why-luke-changed-matthews-nativity-of-jesus-story/">revised</a> the stories they received.<br />
<br />
It’s interesting to note that each author inserted a dubious historical event (an impossible census in one and an unlikely mass infanticide in the other) to make his plotline work. Dubious histories become credible only after potential eyewitnesses die off—so their presence is one more indicator that one or more generations lapsed before the stories took their present form.<br />
<br />
<b>4. Pagan Parallels</b> <strong>–</strong> Luke’s story appears to be slanted toward a Roman audience, and in fact the idea of <a href="https://valerietarico.com/2014/12/16/its-not-rape-if-hes-a-god/">gods impregnating human women</a> was a common trope that many Jews and Christians have <a href="https://valerietarico.com/2008/12/12/is-it-ok-to-celebrate-christmas-even-if-you%E2%80%99re-not-a-christian/">recognized as pagan</a>. Progressive theologian Marcus Borg argued that the point of the story was to pivot fealty from Caesar Augustus to Jesus. According to Roman imperial theology, Augustus had been conceived when the god Apollo impregnated his human mother, Atia. Titles inscribed on coins and temples during his reign included “Son of God,” “Lord,” and “Savior.” They also included the phrase “peace on earth,” which Luke has his angels sing to shepherds.<br />
<br />
<span class="pullquote">By the second chapter of Luke, the parents of Jesus behave as if they have forgotten the astounding signs and wonders that accompanied his birth.</span><strong>5. Say What?! – </strong>By the second chapter of Luke, the parents of Jesus behave as if they have forgotten the astounding signs and wonders that accompanied his birth. When the boy is twelve, Mary and Joseph take him to Jerusalem for a festival, where they lose him in the crowd and find him three days later among the teachers in the temple. When they scold him, he says <em>‘</em><em>“</em><em>Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them’ </em>(Luke 2:49-50).<br />
<br />
Wait. They didn’t know what he was talking about?! This otherwise bizarre narrative glitch, which directly follows the nativity story, suggests that the former was tacked on at a later time.<br />
<br />
<b>6. Divinity Rising – </b>If we line up the four gospels in the estimated order they were written—Mark (60CE), Matthew (70-90CE), Luke (80-95CE), then John (90-100CE), an interesting pattern emerges. Jesus becomes divine earlier and earlier. In Mark, as mentioned, he is shown to be divine when he is baptized (and perhaps is uniquely adopted or entered by God at that point). In Matthew and Luke, he is fathered by the Holy Spirit and is sinless from birth. In John, he is the Logos, present at the creation of the world—though also born of a woman. This sequence suggests that theologies explaining the divinity of Jesus emerged gradually and evolved as Christianity crystallized and spread.<br />
<br />
After the Gospels of Matthew and Luke were bundled into the Catholic Bible, the two infancy stories merged. The three astrologers became Kings riding camels. Mary got her own “immaculate conception” and became, to some, a sinless perpetual virgin. The place of Jesus birth became a stable filled with adoring animals. And the holy birthday moved to winter solstice, weaving in <a href="https://valerietarico.com/2012/12/11/twelve-christmas-traditions/">delicious and delightful pagan traditions</a> including feasting, tree decorating and festivals of light. The birth of a long-awaited messiah fused with the rebirth of the sun—and their joint birthday party became, in the dead of winter, a celebration of bounty and beauty and love and hope that captivated hearts even beyond the bounds of Christianity. Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-17166145304183511642018-12-21T10:20:00.000-05:002019-01-04T15:37:49.040-05:00What the Nativity Story Would Sound Like with Free and Full Female ConsentBy Valerie Tarico ~<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/Annunciation-Frederic-James-Shields.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="800" data-original-width="564" height="320" src="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2018/12/Annunciation-Frederic-James-Shields.png" width="225" /></a></div>
<span class="dropcap">I</span>n the gospel stories, Mary the mother of Jesus is a humble, devout young woman of her time--which means she has little choice in the matter. <br />
<br />
Set aside for a moment any debate about whether the Nativity stories in the Bible are history or mythology or some combination of the two. In either version, Matthew’s or Luke’s, does Mary consent to be the mother of Jesus?<br />
<br />
During recent holiday seasons, this provocative question has been hotly argued on both sides, scandalizing conservative Christians. But our modern concept of consent would have been alien and bizarre to the gospel writers. If we could ask one of them to resolve the debate, he might say, “How could a pure young woman <em>not</em> want to be the mother of God incarnate?! What is this consent thing of which you speak?”<br />
<br />
<strong>Behold, thou shalt conceive.</strong><br />
<br />
The New Testament contains two tellings of the nativity story. <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+1&version=KJV">The story in Matthew</a> doesn’t address how Mary learns about her pregnancy. She is simply “found with child of the Holy Ghost.”<br />
<br />
<em><a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke%201&version=KJV">Luke’s more elaborate tale</a></em> includes an Annunciation scene in which a messenger angel, Gabriel, appears to Mary and makes an announcement, “Behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name Jesus.”<br />
<br />
Mary asks how this can happen, given that she has yet to “know a man.”<br />
<br />
Gabriel tells her, “The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.”<br />
<br />
Mary humbly assents, “Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.”<br />
<br />
Later, in a poem patterned on the Hebrew Psalms, she exalts God, saying, “Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed; for the Mighty One has done great things for me.” This poem, now known as the Magnificat, became part of Catholic and Protestant liturgies.<br />
<br />
When Christian’s argue that the nativity story includes consent, they typically point to the handmaid line and the Magnificat. But the fact that <em>Luke</em>’s Mary assents to Gabriel’s pronouncement, and then later during her pregnancy expresses wonder and pride, does not mean that the writer sought to convey consent as modern ethicists think of it.<br />
<br />
More likely, given gender roles in the Ancient Near East at the time, the author of Luke sought to depict Mary as the archetypal embodiment of a devout and righteous Jewish girl or woman. His Mary recognizes that <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=1+Timothy+2%3A15&version=NRSV">the glory of a woman is childbearing</a> and that it is <a href="https://valerietarico.com/2012/03/09/15-bible-texts-reveal-why-gods-own-party-is-at-war-with-women/">not her place</a> to challenge a man or male angel or god in authority over her. When told that she will be “overshadowed” by the Holy Spirit and will bear a son of God, she embraces her assigned role willingly and gladly, later expressing pride and gratitude that she will attain the apogee of female accomplishment: being the mother of a great man—or in this case a god-man.<br />
<br />
<strong>Reading consent into the Luke annunciation story is anachronism.</strong><br />
<br />
When the Bible was written, women didn’t get to decide whether and when to have children. A young woman’s body—and specifically her ability to produce babies—<a href="https://valerietarico.com/2018/09/26/owned-slaves-women-children-and-livestock/">belonged to her father</a>, who then gave her in marriage to a husband, often in exchange for a negotiated bride price or to seal an alliance with another kin group or tribe. (If she was a slave or concubine, both of which Bible writers <a href="https://valerietarico.com/2012/03/29/captive-virgins-polygamy-sex-slaves-what-marriage-would-look-like-if-we-actually-followed-the-bible/">approved</a>, her reproductive capacity belonged to her master.) <a href="https://valerietarico.com/2012/11/04/the-bible-says-yes-to-legitimate-rape-and-rape-babies/">In Mosaic law</a>, rape was not a human rights offense but rather a property rights offense, and the father of a raped daughter could demand that the rapist pay a cash settlement and keep the used goods. A woman who <em>voluntarily </em>reduced her value by having sex before marriage could be <a href="https://valerietarico.com/2009/04/23/if-the-bible-were-law-would-you-qualify-for-the-death-penalty/">killed</a>. In other words, female consent was neither a necessary nor sufficient pre-condition for sex or childbearing.<br />
<br />
The infancy stories of Jesus found in the gospels of Matthew and Luke, are products of their time and culture, and neither of them depicts what most people would now consider informed or free consent. To be clear, this isn’t a question of <em>sexual </em>consent because—unlike some <a href="https://valerietarico.com/2014/12/16/its-not-rape-if-hes-a-god/">similar stories</a> about gods impregnating human women—the insemination of Mary isn’t described in sexual terms. The question is one of <em>reproductive</em> consent. (Sexual consent and reproductive consent are two different things. A person can agree to have sex but not to have a baby, as in those cases when a partner lies about or sabotages birth control. Conversely, in modern times, a person may agree to reproduce but not to have sex—as when people donate eggs or sperm.)<br />
<br />
<strong>What is free and full consent?</strong><br />
<br />
While we seldom talk about reproductive consent or its opposite, <a href="https://valerietarico.com/2018/11/27/reproductive-choice-is-about-much-more-than-abortion/">reproductive coercion</a>, two related kinds of consent will be familiar to most people in modern Western culture—"informed consent” for medical procedures or research, and sexual consent. These two are quite different in some ways—for example, medical “informed consent” often requires a written agreement while sexual consent gets communicated verbally and nonverbally. But both also have the purpose of safeguarding personal autonomy, as does reproductive consent, so they offer some insights about how a nativity story with free and full consent might read. In medical and intimate settings, free and full consent generally requires the following:<br />
<br />
<ul>
<li>Consent precedes the action or event being consented.</li>
<li>It is a response to a question or inquiry—the person is presented with a choice.</li>
<li>The person giving consent is of sound mind and capable of understanding what they are saying yes to.</li>
<li>They have enough information to understand risks and benefits of saying yes or no, as well as other options that may be open to them.</li>
<li>The person giving consent has time enough, unpressured, to think and ask questions.</li>
<li>The person giving consent is free, physically and psychologically, to say no.</li>
<ul>
<li>They shouldn’t expect that it is going to happen no matter what they say.</li>
<li>They shouldn’t be afraid that saying no will arouse threats or punishment or withholding of needed care.</li>
<li>Power differences, authority or dependency between the two parties require extra caution because these can create implicit threats or fears of harm.</li>
<li>Both parties understand that consent may change over time and agree that consent can be withdrawn when possible.</li>
</ul>
</ul>
We often say that consent should sound like an enthusiastic <em>yes! </em>In this regard, the nativity story in Luke comes through. What’s missing is that the conditions for free and full consent are not themselves fully present. The angel does not present an open question, nor does Mary treat his proclamation as such. Her future role is announced, and she responds by humbly referring to herself as a bondservant, a handmaid. One might argue, further, that any young woman raised on the stories in the Hebrew Bible might have ample reason to fear the wrath of God should she choose to say no. But no matter; for Luke’s Mary, saying no is unthinkable.<br />
<br />
What if the author of Luke had held the modern idea that female consent is a desired or even necessary part of a righteous impregnation story? Here is how the annunciation might have played out.<br />
<br />
<strong>An Iron Age Annunciation with Modern Consent</strong><br />
<br />
One day God sent his messenger, the angel Gabriel, to a town in Galilee called Nazareth with a message for a maiden who was betrothed to a man named Joseph, of the house of David. The maiden’s name was Mary.<br />
<br />
So that Mary would not be overwhelmed by the heavenly messenger’s radiant glory, Gabriel adopted the form of an ordinary Jewish woman carrying an earthen water jug [<em>Gabriel minimizes intimidation due to status differential</em>]. When Mary went to fetch water at the town well, Gabriel approached and stood beside her at the well. “Greetings, blessed one!” he said. “You are favored of the Lord, and he is with you.”<br />
<br />
Mary looked at the unfamiliar woman, wondering what sort of weird greeting this might be. “I beg your pardon?” she said politely. “I don’t think we have met.”<br />
<br />
Gabriel inclined his head. “Gabriella,” he said with a disarming smile. Gabriel had played the role of divine messenger for millennia, ever since that Eden incident, and he had mastered the art of coming across as simultaneously non-threatening and credible to Iron Age humans. He set down his clay jar next to hers and straightened the homespun woolen scarf that covered his hair, save for a few unruly curls much like Mary’s own. Then, with slender but strong female hands, he caught hold of the rope and began lowering the bucket into the well. “Shall we fill your jug first?”<br />
<br />
As he hoisted the full bucket, he spoke almost casually. “You know how some people have visions and receive messages from the heavenly realm?”<br />
<br />
“Yes,” said Mary.<br />
<br />
“Well, I am one of those people, and I came here to the well today because I have a message for you.”<br />
<br />
“Me?” said Mary.<br />
<br />
“Yes. You have found favor with God,” he repeated.<br />
<br />
Mary’s eyes widened. She knew, of course, that the world was full of miraculous signs and wonders, and omens and portents and prophesies. She knew that the God of Israel and other supernatural beings sometimes appeared in visions or dreams to prophets, priests, oracles, witches, magicians, and even ordinary people. But as a young woman just barely come of age, she had never experienced these things herself.<br />
<br />
“Would you like to know my message?” Gabriel asked, and Mary nodded.<br />
<br />
“Ok,” said Gabriel. “Here it is: Yahweh has decided to create a son who will be both god and man. His name will be Jesus.” He paused and then recited, “He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David. And he shall reign over the house of Jacob forever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.” He paused again and added, “Full disclosure: First he has to become a replacement for all of the pigeons and goats and sheep and cattle that are sacrificed in the temple for the forgiveness of sins. So, at age 33, he will be tortured and killed by the Romans and will rise from the dead [<em>Gabriel candidly gives both pros and cons</em>].<br />
<br />
“If you are willing, God would like for you to be the woman who bears this child.” [<em>He poses the proposition as a voluntary choice</em>.] But God will continue to bless you and honor your righteousness whether you choose or not to bear this child. [<em>He explicitly addresses any sense of threat based on Yahweh’s violent history</em>].<br />
<br />
“Do you have any questions?”<br />
<br />
<span class="pullquote">When the Bible was written, women didn’t get to decide whether and when to have children.</span>It was all a bit much for Mary to take in. She stared blankly for a moment, the water jugs forgotten. Then she blurted the first that came to mind, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” She blushed, awkward now, and her fingers clutched at the folds of her robe as if to hide.<br />
<br />
“How old are you?” Gabriel asked.<br />
<br />
“Thirteen,” answered Mary, “and betrothed by my father to Joseph. Of the house of David.”<br />
<br />
“Ah,” said Gabriel. Her question about virginity wasn’t the first he would have asked under similar circumstances. Maybe <em>Why me? Why now? Why can’t we just keep sacrificing goats and sheep? How does it work for someone to be a god and a human?</em> But he knew that this concept loomed large in her culture, which is why young women got married off as soon as they were sexually mature. She must be just on the cusp.<br />
<br />
He wondered fleetingly why Yahweh had chosen such a young person to make such a big decision, but he didn’t question God, not even for a second. After all, he and every other angel in heaven remembered how God had reacted when Lucifer started challenging God’s authority. Lucifer’s rebellion was the reason Gabriel had this job.<br />
<br />
Drawing his attention back to Mary, he assured that her virginity was no barrier. “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God.”<br />
<br />
Seeing doubt still on her face, he offered a bit of evidence. “Your relative Elizabeth in her old age has also conceived a son. She was said to be barren, but this is the sixth month for her. You can see for yourself. With God, nothing is impossible.”<br />
<br />
<em>That had been skepticism, right? Or was it fear? Perhaps the word “overshadow” had been a bit strong.</em><br />
<br />
“It won’t hurt,” he said gently, “At least not the getting pregnant part. Do you have any other questions?”<br />
<br />
Mary floundered, more than a little overwhelmed. <em>I can’t say no to Yahweh</em>, she thought. Out loud, she said, “Here am I, the handmaid of the Lord. Be it done to me according to your word.”<br />
<br />
But Gabriel shook his head gently. “God does not ask this of you as his servant or slave, but rather of your own free will. [<em>He clarifies that despite the power difference she has a real choice</em>]. Take as long as you need to decide—he will know when you have chosen. [<em>She is not pressured</em>]. I would suggest given your age that you ask your father, but he would then be compelled to make the decision for you, so you will have to decide on your own.<br />
<br />
“And don’t worry about your fiancé. If you choose to go forward, God’s messengers will have ways to bring him along.”<br />
<br />
Gabriel helped the dazed Mary lift the full water jug to her head and watched as she scurried back down the dusty path toward town and her father’s house, checking over her shoulder at the figure by the well. He lifted his own water jug and waved with his one free hand, vanishing into thin air only after she was out of sight.<br />
<br />
Mary continued down the dusty path and through the cobbled streets, her head spinning. “Was that real?” she asked herself. “Or was it a dream?” She wasn’t entirely sure. But somehow that felt okay, because a different and even more novel question occupied her mind: <em>What do I want? If it were real, if this choice really were mine, would I want to do it?</em><br />
<br />
Having returned to his ethereal form, Gabriel watched from on high, reading the possibilities that ran through her imagination. He smiled to himself. He had done his job; and when Mary made up her mind, Yahweh would be the first to know. Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-21447314309841495122015-12-26T09:32:00.000-05:002016-01-10T15:13:13.583-05:00Too Grown for Santa or Other X-Mas Characters<i>By Steve Dustcircle ~ </i><br />
<br />
<div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><b><span style="font-family: inherit;"><span class="dropcap">M</span>y wife and I don't have kids, but the topic eventually comes up in a hypothetical sense: <i>Would we tell our children about <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Santa Claus">Santa Claus</a>?</i></span></b></b></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> <br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><b>We both are in agreement: </b><i><b>No.</b></i></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> <br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container zemanta-img" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Santa_Claus_Parade_Toronto_2009_%282%29.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: clear:right;"><img alt="The big man himself brings up the rear at the ..." border="0" class="zemanta-img-inserted zemanta-img-configured" height="263" src="//upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/4/49/Santa_Claus_Parade_Toronto_2009_%282%29.jpg/350px-Santa_Claus_Parade_Toronto_2009_%282%29.jpg" style="border: none; font-size: 0.8em;" width="350" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption zemanta-img-attribution" style="text-align: center; width: 350px;">The big man himself brings up the rear at the 2009 Santa Claus Parade, Toronto. (Photo credit: <a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Santa_Claus_Parade_Toronto_2009_%282%29.jpg" target="_blank">Wikipedia</a>)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I come from a household that pretended there was a Santa Claus when I was a small child. When my parents had “the talk” with me, I don't remember. But I do remember when one of my uncles played Santa and came down the stairs with a large sack of toys. I vaguely remember getting military toys. However, what is clear in my memory was one of my cousins saying, “That's Uncle Jeff!”</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> <br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I never forgot. I don't remember the trauma I might have felt, but I assume there was confusion, hurt, disappointment and possibly anger. There <i>had</i> to have been, because of the clarity of the memory of that event (Memories form when you repeatedly chew on an occurrence).</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> <br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Aside of this unveiling, we also had a lot of <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Jesus" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Child Jesus">baby Jesus</a> belief, with the house intermingled with Santa decorations <i>and </i>Christian nativities. One was supposedly true, while the other is not.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> <br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">For a while, I was told both were true characters. One brought peace, the other brings gifts. And then you reach a certain age where you're told that one story is actually <i>not</i> true—a harmless prank, a <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lie" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Lie">white lie</a>. But you're told that you're not being tricked or kidded about the other story—an equally impossible tale. Coincidentally, both are weaved from older legends and tales.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> <br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<b><span style="font-family: inherit;">But is this healthy?</span></b></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> <br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">Harmless jokes can come from a good place: playfulness, humor, gentle teasing, or motivation. But can this affect how we view other things our parents tell us? Can this cause problems with how we treat authority? Can this affect how we treat other <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fairy_tale" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Fairy tale">fairy tales</a> and imaginary characters?</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> <br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I'm no expert, and I don't know the statistics (if there have been studies), but <i>if </i>my wife and I had a child, I would not tell her or him that there is a <i>real life </i>Santa Claus. I would not tell them that there is a <i>real life </i><a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tooth_fairy" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Tooth fairy">Tooth Fairy</a>. I would not tell them that there is a <i>real life </i><a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Easter_Bunny" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Easter Bunny">Easter Bunny</a>, baby Jesus, or arrow-shooting <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cupid" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Cupid">Cupid</a>.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> <br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">I do not believe in these things, and I see no point in deceiving my child about these holiday persons. It'd be my child, and my choice. The way I see it: if it were something that could affect my loved one's trust levels and my relationship with her or him, I would avoid what could damage or hinder a good future with my child.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> <br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><i><b>But ALL kids believe in Santa!</b></i><b> could be a retort.</b></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> <br />
<div style="margin-bottom: 0in;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;">That's fine if you want to tell your kids about the impossible and the improbable. I'm sure you have good reasons, and that you're in general good parents. But personally, my heart won't let me lie or deceive a loved one without good reason.</span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br />
</span> <a href="http://www.stevedustcircle.us/"><span style="font-family: inherit;">http://www.stevedustcircle.us/</span></a>Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-61988634021791143342015-12-24T07:44:00.001-05:002016-01-10T15:13:13.586-05:00Christianity's Own War on Christmas<i>By Valerie Tarico ~ </i><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/christian-war-on-christmas21.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="251" src="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2015/12/christian-war-on-christmas21.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span class="dropcap">G</span>uess who has been calling Christmas a pagan holiday for the last 500 years? Christians. <br />
If it feels like the “<a href="http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2013/12/war-on-christmas-short-history-101222">War on Christmas</a>” is getting really old, it is. Over ten years have passed since Bill O’Reilly first opened December with a segment called, “<a href="http://mediamatters.org/research/2004/12/10/fox-hypes-stories-to-claim-christmas-under-sieg/132428">Christmas Under Siege</a>”—ten long years in which his cadences and refrains and echoing chorus have become as familiar to most Americans as Handel’s Messiah. More familiar, in fact.<br />
<br />
Not that O’Reilly invented the idea. During the 1920’s, Henry Ford’s newspaper published a series of anti-Semitic articles titled, “<em>The International Jew: The World's Foremost Problem.” </em><a href="http://www.politico.com/magazine/story/2013/12/war-on-christmas-short-history-101222#ixzz3v5JpcnEr">Among the complaints</a>:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
“Last Christmas most people had a hard time finding Christmas cards that indicated in any way that Christmas commemorated Someone's Birth. . . . People sometimes ask why 3,000,000 Jews can control the affairs of 100,000,000 Americans. In the same way that ten Jewish students can abolish the mention of Christmas and Easter out of schools containing 3,000 Christian pupils.”</blockquote>
<br />
In 1959, the far right John Birch Society <a href="http://www.salon.com/2005/11/21/christmas_6/">warned</a> Americans of a plot to replace Christian symbolism with United Nations symbols on Christmas ornaments. In 1966 Christian minister Gerald Smith roused Christian outrage by <a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xmas">proclaiming</a> that the abbreviation Xmas had been created by “world Jewry”—even though the symbol X (chi) has been used as an abbreviation for Christ since ancient times.<br />
<br />
Complaints about unsavory outsiders “taking the Christ out of Christmas” or forcing beleaguered believers to say “Happy Holidays!” are transparently privileged and xenophobic. They put <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2014/10/07/why-right-wing-christians-think-they-are-americas-most-persecuted/">Christian persecution complex</a> on stark display. But here is the real irony: For almost 500 years, the folks trying to get rid of Christmas—trying to put distance between Christian worship and mid-winter solstice festivities—were Christians themselves.<br />
<br />
<strong>Early Christians Probably Didn’t Celebrate the Birth of Jesus<br />
<br />
</strong>Early worship of Jesus focused not on the nativity story but the crucifixion and resurrection. In fact, the Virgin Birth narrative is now considered a late addition to the gospels, one that fused <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2009/01/09/ancient-mythic-origins-of-the-christmas-story/">ancient Sumerian mythic tropes</a>, <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2014/12/09/the-not-so-virgin-birth-of-the-christmas-story/">Hebrew tropes</a> and <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2014/12/14/the-slut-shaming-sex-negative-message-in-the-christmas-story-its-worth-a-family-conversation/">cult of virginity</a>, and the Greco-Roman belief that <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2014/12/16/its-not-rape-if-hes-a-god/">an extraordinary man must have an extraordinary birth</a>. In the third century, the Church Patriarch Origin wrote a list of Christian holy days that did not include Christmas, suggesting that the holiday hadn’t yet emerged during his time.<br />
<br />
What did exist was a wide variety of winter solstice celebrations associated with pagan religions across the Northern Hemisphere. People whose precarious existence depended on the agricultural cycle celebrated the return of light with song and dance, feasting and festive elements that are a part of our <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2012/12/11/twelve-christmas-traditions/">midwinter celebrations</a> to this day: yule logs, mulled wine, decorated trees, gift giving, and more. Long before Christianity existed, Latin peoples celebrated Saturnalia and marked December 25 as the birthday of the unconquered sun.<br />
<br />
<strong>Christianity Absorbs Other Religions</strong><br />
<br />
Christianity spread in part by embracing a practice called “syncretism,” in which local traditions and religions were simply absorbed and reinterpreted within the Christian tradition. In 606 A.D., Pope Gregory wrote to Abbot Mellitus in Britain and <a href="http://www.swrb.com/newslett/actualNLs/Xmas_ch2.htm#FN06">outlined</a> this approach:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
“The temples of the idols among the people should on no account be destroyed. The idols themselves are to be destroyed, but the temples themselves are to be aspersed with holy water, altars set up in them, and relics deposited there. For if these temples are well-built, they must be purified from the worship of demons and dedicated to the service of the true God. In this way, we hope that the people, seeing that their temples are not destroyed, may abandon their error and, flocking more readily to their accustomed resorts, may come to know and adore the true God.”</blockquote>
<br />
Pagan temples became churches, indigenous gods became saints, and pagan festival days got repurposed as Christian holy days. The earliest existing documentation of December 25 as Christmas derives from the fourth century and is tied closely with the merger between Christianity and imperial Rome. Over time, Christmas came to rival Easter in the Catholic tradition, and the cult of Mary as the most perfect of all <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2014/12/14/the-slut-shaming-sex-negative-message-in-the-christmas-story-its-worth-a-family-conversation/">perfect virgins</a> rose to rival the Trinity.<br />
<br />
It should come as no surprise, then, that the strongest and most vociferous backlash against Christmas came from Protestant reformers who rejected all things Roman Catholic (except, ironically, the Bible itself, which they <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2015/02/25/how-iron-age-literacy-spawned-modern-violent-extremism/">substituted</a> for the very hierarchy that had compiled it.)<br />
<br />
<strong>Calvin and Followers Reject “Pagan” “Papal” Christmas Holiday<br />
<br />
</strong>Protestant Reformer John Calvin saw himself as debriding the Body of Christ, excising layers of rotten flesh so as to revive the wholesome form that God himself had created. Trusting only the sacrosanct Bible and his own righteous conviction as divine authority, he scraped all the way back to the fourth century, discarding indulgences, ritual, iconography, ecclesiastical hierarchy and Catholic holidays as man-made rot.<br />
<br />
Calvin laid out a concept that later theologians called <em>the regulative principle of worship</em>, meaning that the only valid forms of worship are those laid out in the Bible. Christmas doesn’t meet this bar. In 1550, under his influence, authorities in Geneva <a href="http://www.swrb.com/newslett/actualNLs/Xmas_ch2.htm#FN10">issued</a> an edict banning “all festivals, with the exception of Sundays, which God had ordained. " Not surprisingly, some people were less than thrilled, and even Calvin himself seems to have worried that the edict went too far, too soon. But he never compromised on the principle.<br />
<br />
<strong>Scottish Presbyterians Follow Suit<br />
<br />
</strong>As the Reformation spread to the British Isles, the Presbyterian church took up the case against Catholic holidays. Reformer John Knox <a href="http://www.swrb.com/newslett/actualNLs/Xmas_ch2.htm#FN19">echoed</a> Calvin’s dour condemnation of holidays, mentioning Christmas by name and calling down punishment on “obstinate maintainers and teachers of such abominations.” Another Scottish minister, David Calderwood <a href="http://www.swrb.com/newslett/actualNLs/Xmas_ch2.htm">reiterated</a> Knox’s scathing indictment of Christmas:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
“If it had been the will of God that the several acts of Christ should have been celebrated with several solemnities, the Holy Ghost would have made known to us the day of his nativity, circumcision, presentation in the temple, baptism, transfiguration, and the like.” . . . . "This opinion of Christ's nativity on the 25th day of December was bred at Rome."</blockquote>
<br />
<strong>England Bans Christmas Festivities<br />
<br />
</strong>In England the increasingly powerful Puritan movement challenged the liturgical calendar of the Anglican Church, again claiming that holidays were anti-biblical, papal, and superstitious. In 1647, the British Parliament <a href="http://www.swrb.com/newslett/actualNLs/Xmas_ch2.htm#FN51">outlawed</a> Christmas and other holiday festivals.<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
“Forasmuch as the feast of the nativity of Christ, Easter, Whitsuntide, and other festivals, commonly called holy-days, have been heretofore superstitiously used and observed; be it ordained, that the said feasts, and all other festivals, commonly called holy-days, be no long<br />
er observed as festivals; any law, statute, custom, constitution, or canon, to the contrary in anywise not withstanding.”</blockquote>
<br />
<strong>America’s Pilgrims Reject Christmas<br />
<br />
</strong>American children are taught that the Pilgrims traveled from England in the Mayflower seeking religious freedom, but the freedom to celebrate Christmas was apparently outside the range of acceptable practice for the Plymouth Rock colony. In 1621, new arrivals had to be <a href="http://www.swrb.com/newslett/actualNLs/Xmas_ch2.htm#FN53">brought into line</a>:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
On the day called Christmas Day, the Governor called them out to work as was used. But the most part of this new company excused themselves and said that it went against their consciences to work on that day. So the Governor told them that if they made it a matter of conscience, he would spare them till they were better informed; so he led away the rest and left them. But when they came home at noon from their work, they found them in the street at play, openly; some pitching the bar, and some at stool-ball and such like sports. So he went to them and took away their implements and told them that was against his conscience, that they should play and others work. If they made the keeping of it a matter of devotion, let them keep their houses; but there should be no gaming or reveling in the streets. Since which time nothing hath been attempted that way, at least openly.</blockquote>
Two generations later, Puritan leader Increase Mather <a href="http://www.swrb.com/newslett/actualNLs/Xmas_ch2.htm#FN54">condemned</a> Christmas again as a pagan tradition:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
“The early Christians who first observed the Nativity on December 25 did not do so thinking that Christ was born in that Month, but because the Heathens’ Saturnalia was at that time kept in Rome, and they were willing to have those Pagan Holidays metamorphosed into Christian ones.”</blockquote>
<br />
<strong>Catholics Push Back</strong><br />
<br />
Catholics have long resented Protestant allegations that Christmas was, from the beginning, a repurposed pagan solstice festival. To this day some insist that the tradition dates back much farther than the fourth century and even that the December 25<sup>th</sup> date is based on actual historical knowledge. Contemporary Catholic apologist Marian Horvat makes the <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2014/08/28/jesus-myth-or-history/">laughable</a> claim that we can know from the biblical record the date of the annunciation and therefore the date of Christ’s birth. Horvat <a href="http://www.traditioninaction.org/religious/e031rp_PaganOrigins.html">concludes</a> with a tour de force of rabbit-hole reasoning:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
“We can be certain that the first Catholic apologists and Fathers of the Church, who lived very close to the time of the Apostles, were fully aware of the dates associated with the birth of Our Lord Jesus Christ. They had all the calendar sources at hand and they would not allow any untruth to be introduced in the Catholic liturgy. The date of Christ’s birth was transmitted by them as being December 25, a Sunday.”</blockquote>
<br />
<strong>American Protestants Hold the Line<br />
<br />
</strong>For generations, a range of Protestants found claims like these unconvincing. In the mid-19<sup>th</sup> Century, Princeton Professor of Theology Samuel Miller echoed the persistent Presbyterian position that "the observance of uncommanded holy-days is ever found to interfere with the due sanctification of the Lord's day. Adding to the appointment of God is superstition. "<br />
<br />
In 1871, famed Baptist evangelist Charles H. Spurgeon <a href="http://www.swrb.com/newslett/actualNLs/Xmas_ch2.htm#FN61">used</a> his time in the pulpit on December 24 to exhort his flock against observing Christmas:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
“We have no superstitious regard for times and seasons. Certainly we do not believe in the present ecclesiastical arrangement called Christmas: first, because we do not believe in the mass at all, but abhor it, whether it be said or sung in Latin or in English; and, secondly, because we find no scriptural warrant whatever for observing any day as the birthday of the Savior; and, consequently, its observance is a superstition, because not of divine authority.”</blockquote>
<br />
In a sermon titled “Christmas, Easter, Lent, And The Cross (Pagan/Roman Catholic/Antichrist Holy Days [Holidays] In The Church, Family, And Society)<strong>” </strong>preacher Morton Smith <a href="http://www.sermonaudio.com/sermoninfo.asp?SID=1170810520">states</a> that the Southern Presbyterian church resisted adding Christmas and Easter to their official calendar until the 1940’s and 1950’s. Thanks in large part to Protestant misgivings, Christmas didn’t become an official American holiday until 1870.<br />
<br />
<strong>Today’s Christian War on Christmas</strong><br />
<br />
Today most Christians have forgotten this history, but a conservative remnant still sees the celebration of Christmas as a concession to worldly influences. Retired Presbyterian minister G.I.Williamson <a href="http://theaquilareport.com/a-defense-of-calvins-rejection-of-christmas/">complains</a> that stores are open on Sunday but closed on Christmas. “There is no command to have a special day called Christmas. . . . If my church history books are correct there was only one day that was celebrated faithfully in the early Church. It was the Lord’s Day. And people used to greet one another by saying “Jesus is risen.”<br />
<br />
Freelance fundamentalist Christopher J.E. Johnson of Creation Liberty Evangelism <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYRNz6cy0AI">echoes</a> the old complaint that Christmas is fundamentally pagan: “God hates paganism and he hates idols and he hates the concept of false Gods, and that’s what Christmas actually represents.” He <a href="http://www.creationliberty.com/articles/christmas.php">preaches</a> that “one of the big problems in Christianity today is the <em>DENIAL</em> of the pagan origins of their traditions, or in other words, they lie to themselves (and to others) in order to keep from knowing the truth, and thereby preventing themselves from receiving conviction from the Holy Spirit that would force them to give up their fleshly lusts. To understand the abomination of Christmas being brought into the Church of Jesus Christ, we need to understand its origin.”<br />
<br />
<strong>Beyond the Forced Choice</strong><br />
<br />
As a former Evangelical, I too believe there is value in understanding the <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2009/01/09/ancient-mythic-origins-of-the-christmas-story/">ancient origins of the Christmas story</a> and related traditions. I too find some aspects of Christmas abominable, though my reasons are very different. Seen through 21<sup>st</sup> Century eyes, the Bible’s virgin insemination, like other stories of gods impregnating mortal women, is “<a href="http://valerietarico.com/2014/12/16/its-not-rape-if-hes-a-god/">more than a little rapey</a>.” Its adulation of virginity <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2014/12/14/the-slut-shaming-sex-negative-message-in-the-christmas-story-its-worth-a-family-conversation/">harms young women</a> by soiling female sexuality. The obsessive (though conflicting) genealogies that accompany the story convey that a person’s bloodline matters more than his or her character. And the idea of a baby born to be a <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2010/10/23/polytheism-and-human-sacrifice-in-early-israelite-religion/">human sacrifice</a> is about as morally repugnant as any concept humankind has concocted. If Christmas were merely, exclusively Christian, I would find little to recommend it.<br />
<br />
Fortunately, for almost 500 years, Christian critics of Christmas have offered an alternative view, one that is rather beautiful, even though they themselves regard it darkly. It is the view that our mid-winter celebration reflects, more than anything, the Pagan and universal yearning to embrace hope in the dead of winter, our impulse to celebrate with abandon the return of light and the promise that spring—and new life—will come again.<br />
<br />
Most certainly that is true of my own favorite Christmas traditions, which <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2012/12/11/twelve-christmas-traditions/">draw from a wide range of cultures and—yes—superstitions</a>. Fortunately, we humans are incorrigible scavengers and endlessly innovative, taking whatever bits of culture and tradition we have inherited and weaving them together into a fabric of our own making.<br />
<br />
Fundamentalists on all sides may argue that we must either embrace or reject Christian teachings and traditions as a package. For them, bound by the constraints of their worldview, that may be true. Happily, the rest of us are free to <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2015/05/21/in-defense-of-cherry-picking-the-bible/">glean through the Bible and Christian history</a>—including Christmas lore—discarding what is ugly or useless and claiming whatever is timeless and wise. And come mid-winter, we are free to assemble whatever rituals and traditions create a sense of wonder and delight and bring us closer to people we love.<br />
<br />
<hr />
<br />
<em>Valerie Tarico is a psychologist and writer in Seattle, Washington. She is the author of </em><a href="http://astore.amazon.com/exchrisnetenc-20/detail/0977392937"><em>Trusting Doubt: A Former Evangelical Looks at Old Beliefs in a New Light</em></a><em> and </em><a href="http://www.theoracleinstitute.org/deas"><em>Deas and Other Imaginings</em></a><em>, and the founder of </em><a href="http://www.wisdomcommons.org/"><em>www.WisdomCommons.org</em></a><em>. Her articles about religion, reproductive health, and the role of women in society have been featured at sites including AlterNet, Salon, the Huffington Post, Grist, and Jezebel. Subscribe at </em><a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/"><em>ValerieTarico.com</em></a><em>. </em> <span class="pullquote">For almost 500 years, the folks trying to get rid of Christmas—trying to put distance between Christian worship and mid-winter solstice festivities—were Christians themselves.<br />
<br />
</span>Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-22189171052501041772015-11-15T09:06:00.001-05:002015-11-27T20:58:55.689-05:00Making Peace with Christmas<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<i>By Klym ~ </i><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeYb0Zw_dcb2FC6JQtNqor6349ENWb0_YzQkqLpHP-quI-KjyzSES-MxiCwUq0Crb5qRLX5EueZuPYBfDc-67b9MUgQ1JHj8nsY3i6IQWis1-YQDJN8gmrtM-MhiGHuC_YWrD_P4oc6-E/s1600/cookies-for-santa.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgeYb0Zw_dcb2FC6JQtNqor6349ENWb0_YzQkqLpHP-quI-KjyzSES-MxiCwUq0Crb5qRLX5EueZuPYBfDc-67b9MUgQ1JHj8nsY3i6IQWis1-YQDJN8gmrtM-MhiGHuC_YWrD_P4oc6-E/s1600/cookies-for-santa.jpg" /></a></div>
<span class="dropcap">A</span> few years ago I posted an article here on Ex-C about Christmas. It was titled "<a href="http://new.exchristian.net/2012/12/the-most-miserable-time-of-year.html">The Most Miserable Time of the Year</a>" in reference to that popular Christmas song sung by <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andy_Williams" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Andy Williams">Andy Williams</a>---only he sings the word "wonderful" instead of miserable, of course.<br />
<br />
I have been struggling with Christmas for many, many years, and I have decided to dissect my personal history with the holiday to see if I can understand why Christmas is difficult for me. So, here goes:<br />
<br />
I grew up an only adopted child with older parents who loved and supported me more than any one person probably deserves. My parents were my world---my dad was the most fun, playful person, with these twinkly eyes, a mischievious smile, and a fantastic sense of humor. My mom was quiet and reserved, but she also had a great sense of humor and was the best listener I have ever known. She was an extremely non-judgemental woman who truly lived the saying, "Don't judge another person until you have walked a mile in their moccassins." There's no doubt that I got my playful spirit and counseling ability from my wonderful parents.<br />
<br />
My parents did not go to church, but as did many parents of the 1950's and 60's, they entrusted my spiritual education to the nearby southern <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baptists" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Baptists">Baptist church</a>. They dropped me off there every Sunday for <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sunday_school" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Sunday school">Sunday school</a> and church, and picked me up afterwards. They were totally unaware of the crap I was being taught, and that I was terrified of hell and everything to do with the Bible. I didn't tell them how much I hated and dreaded church because I loved them and I wanted to please them. And, being a child, I figured they believed in what I was being taught. They were C & E Christians---they attended church on Christmas and Easter. They had both been baptized as adults after they married, but that was the extent of their religion. They had been married for 17 years when they adopted me and their church going days were way behind them. We did not pray before meals or before bedtime. In fact, we never talked much about religion as I was growing up. Mama did love watching <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Billy_Graham" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Billy Graham">Billy Graham crusades</a> on TV though, and I watched them with her. I liked watching with mama, but I didn't care much for Billy's scary messages.<br />
<br />
I vaguely remember being in a Christmas pageant at about the age of six. I had to memorize and recite the verses from Luke about Christmas---the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Authorized_King_James_Version" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Authorized King James Version">King James version</a>, of course! I recall thinking that it was funny that the shepherds were "sore afraid"--what the heck did THAT mean? My parents helped me memorize the verses and beamed with pride when I recited them at the pageant. I liked the Christmas story---I've always been an animal lover, so I was attracted by the idea of animals being around the manger.<br />
<br />
Christmas morning was a HUGE deal at our house. The night before Christmas, my parents and I would put cookies and milk out for Santa and I would be tucked into bed with assurances that Santa was on his way. (We didn't have a fireplace, but he could come through the front door, they told me.) My parents didn't buy me much throughout the year, but they went crazy at Christmas time. They literally turned our living room into a toy store! I can remember waking up to my dad shining the bright lights of his moving camera on my face and him filming me running into the room and getting so excited about all the gifts on display around the tree.<br />
<br />
I was terrified of Santa Claus though---I took the lyrics to "<a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus_Is_Coming_to_Town" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Santa Claus Is Coming to Town">Santa Claus is Coming to Town</a>" very literally and I didn't like the idea of him seeing me when I was sleeping and awake. I was as frightened of Santa as I was of Bible God, and even though I was a very good little girl, I always worried that I would not meet Santa's expectations.<br />
<br />
I figured out that Santa was not real when my best friend told me during our school Christmas party in third grade. When I got home that day, I asked my mom about it and she told me that Santa represents the "spirit of giving", but that no, there is no Santa living at the North Pole with elves as his helpers. I was not disappointed to hear this---I was, in fact, relieved. I could stop worrying about him "watching" me all the time. Whew!<br />
<br />
And so my parents and I rocked along through the years enjoying each other and never missing a Christmas morning together. Christmas was all about us being together and loving each other and exchanging gifts and eating good food. It was a magical, precious time. Part of our decorations was a simple nativity scene that we always set up near the tree, but other than that, religion was not mentioned. <br />
<br />
When I was in my mid-twenties, my parents began going to church with me. By that time, I had left the Baptist church and was going to a liberal Presbyterian church. The three of us attended that church together for ten years. We began attending Christmas Eve services during that time, and I loved standing next to my mom and dad, each of us with a lit candle in our hands, singing "Silent Night" together. My mother had a beautiful voice, and it was comforting to hear her singing next to me. All was right with the world.<br />
<br />
And then, on my mother's 73rd birthday, my dad unexpectedly dropped dead of a heart attack. Mama and I were totally devastated. This was in September 1991, and I don't even remember the Christmas after that, except that it was extremely hard. After losing my dad, my mom's recurring episodes of crippling depression returned, and 15 months later, she put a gun to her head and killed herself. That was on December 13, 1992--twelve days before Christmas. I don't remember that Christmas either.<br />
<br />
After that, my husband and I began going on vacations at Christmas time. I gave away all my Christmas decorations and didn't put up a tree for many years. I still only put up a tree occasionally, when I am in the mood, which is not very often. Some years, we spend Christmas with my cousins, and it's OK. But, the joy of Christmas that I had experienced with my parents has eluded me ever since their deaths. <br />
<br />
I've attempted to start new traditions for Christmas Day, but the bottom line is that I stopped caring about Christmas when I could no longer share it with my mom and dad. I'm childless by choice, so I don't have children (other than my cousins' children) to shop or plan for. I do buy gifts for Angel tree kiddoes every year, but that's the extent of my giving. And then when I stopped believing in Bible God, Christmas completely died for me. Maybe I should give Christmas a decent burial and let it rest in peace, once and for all. But that's awfully hard to do in our culture here in the southern USA where my neighborhood Cracker Barrel restaurant put up Christmas trees on September the first!! I kid you not. I actually talked to one of the employees there and told them to tell the manager that September is too danged early for Christmas decorations!!<br />
<br />
I do miss the Christmases of my childhood. They seemed so simple. My stocking was stuffed with nuts and fruit and many of my toys were home-made. Mama was a great seamstress and made clothes for my Barbie dolls! My grandmother made me many beautiful, frilly dresses. Daddy built me a dollhouse out of wood. Aunts and uncles and cousins stopped by and we would visit for hours. I know now as an adult that the 1960's were a time of historical upheaval in many ways, but in my world, there was nothing but love and innocence and goodwill. Other than my mother's bouts with mental illness and attending the Baptist church, I had a near-perfect childhood. <br />
<br />
If you have read this far, thanks for sharing my rambling memories of Christmases past. Oh, and back then, I don't remember anyone complaining of a "War on Christmas"!! There were no coffee shops with red paper cups to get panties all in a wad over. Without the internet, the world was a much smaller, more insular place, and all the Baptists believed their way was the ONLY way! Ha! (Some things never change, do they?)<br />
<br />
So, now, Christmas is just another day of the year, and I get by as best I can. I count my many blessings---I have a loving husband; I go to a fabulous Unitarian Universalist church; I have great friends of many different beliefs; and I am healthy. I have happy memories of the holidays, which I cherish deeply. Maybe, now that I think about it, Christmas is not so bad after all? Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-37390982059311665662014-12-22T12:22:00.002-05:002015-01-03T19:30:44.988-05:00It's Not Rape If He's a God -- Or Thinks He Is<i>By Valerie Tarico ~ </i><br />
<br />
<a href="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/rembrandt-the-abduction-of-europa.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Rembrandt - The abduction of Europa" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-2640" height="232" src="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/rembrandt-the-abduction-of-europa.jpg?w=300" width="300" /></a><em><span class="dropcap">S</span>tories like the Virgin Birth lack freely given female consent. Why don’t they bother us more?</em><br />
<br />
Powerful gods and demi-gods impregnating human women—it’s a common theme in the history of religion, and it’s more than a little rapey.<br />
<br />
Zeus comes to Danae in the form of a golden shower, cutting “<a href="http://ancientlibrary.com/greek-anthology/0252.html">the knot of intact virginity</a>” and leaving her pregnant with the Greek hero, Perseus.<br />
<br />
Jupiter forcibly overcomes Europa by transforming himself into a white bull and abducting her. He imprisons her on the Isle of Crete, over time fathering three children.<br />
<br />
Hermes copulates with a shepherdess to produce Pan.<br />
<br />
The legendary founders of Rome, Romulus and Remus are conceived when the Roman god Mars impregnates Rea Silvia, a vestal virgin.<br />
<br />
Helen of Troy, the rare female offspring of a god-human mating, is produced when Zeus takes the form of a swan to get access to Leda.<br />
<br />
In some accounts Alexander the Great and the Emperor Augustus are sowed by gods in the form of serpents, by Phoebus and Jupiter respectively.<br />
<br />
Though the earliest Christians <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2014/12/09/the-not-so-virgin-birth-of-the-christmas-story/">had a competing story</a>, in the Gospel of Luke, the Virgin Mary gets pregnant when the spirit of the Lord comes upon her and the power of the Most High overshadows her.<br />
<br />
The earliest accounts of Zoroaster’s birth have him born of a human father and mother, <a href="http://books.google.com/books/about/Born_of_a_woman.html?id=UZnaAAAAMAAJ">much like Jesus</a>; but in later accounts his mother is pierced by a shaft of divine light.<br />
<br />
The Hindu god Shiva has sex with the human woman Madhura, who has come to worship him while his wife Parvati is away. Parvati turns Madhura into a frog, but after 12 years in a well she regains human form and gives birth to Indrajit.<br />
<br />
The Buddha’s mother Maya finds herself pregnant after being entered from the side by a god in a dream.<br />
<br />
The impregnation process may be a “ravishing” or seduction or some kind of titillating but nonsexual procreative penetration. The story may come from an Eastern or Western religious tradition, pagan or Christian. But these encounters between beautiful young women and gods have one thing in common. None of them has freely given female consent as a part of the narrative. (<em>Luke</em>’s Mary assents after being not asked but <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+1%3A30-35&version=NRSV">told</a> by a powerful supernatural being what is going to happen to her, and she responds with language emphasizing the power differential. "<em>Behold the bond slave of the Lord: be it done to me . . .</em>”)<br />
<br />
Who needs consent, freely given? If he’s a god, she’s got to want it, right? That <em>is</em> how the stories play out.<br />
<br />
Whether or not the delectable young thing puts up a protest, whether or not seduction requires deception, whether or not the woman already has a husband or love, whether or not she is physically forced, the basic assumption is that the union between a god and a woman is overwhelming in an orgasmic way, not a bloody, head-bashed-against-the-ground kind of way. And afterwards? Well, what woman wouldn’t want to be pregnant with the son or daughter of a god?<br />
<br />
Underneath this remarkably enduring and widespread trope lie two assumptions that, in their most primitive form, may trace their roots all the way back to evolutionary biology.<br />
<br />
<span class="pullquote">Biology may be the starting point, but over time, human impulses are embellished and institutionalized and made sacred by culture and religion.</span>The biology hypothesis, much oversimplified, goes something like this: Males and females of each species have instincts that maximize their genes in the next generation. Among humans, females seek the highest quality sperm donors that they can attract. They maximize the quality and <em>survival</em> of their children by mating with high status, powerful males. Males, on the other hand, maximize the quality and <em>quantity</em> of their offspring by seeking young fertile females (with beauty signaling fertility), controlling some females and fending off other males while also spreading their seed around if they can get away with it.<br />
<br />
Biology may be the starting point, but over time, human impulses are embellished and institutionalized and made sacred by culture and religion. The mythic trope of gods mating with human females embodies powerful cultural and religious beliefs about sexuality. Familiar stories of this type derive from male dominated societies, which means they legitimize male reproductive desires: Powerful men not only <em>want to </em>control the valuable commodity of female fertility, they <em>should. </em>Gods ordain it and model it. And they prescribe punishments for those—especially females—who violate the proper order of things.<br />
<br />
The miraculous conception stories I listed may have roots in pre-history, in early religions centered on <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2009/01/09/ancient-mythic-origins-of-the-christmas-story/">star worship</a> and the agricultural cycle, but they emerged in modern form during the Iron Age. By this time in history, most women were chattel. Like children, livestock and slaves, they were literally <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2012/03/29/captive-virgins-polygamy-sex-slaves-what-marriage-would-look-like-if-we-actually-followed-the-bible/">possessions of men</a>, and their primary economic and spiritual value lay in their ability to produce purebred offspring of known lineage. The men at the top owned concubines and harams, and virgin females were counted among the spoils of war. (See, for example, the <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Numbers+31%3A10-35&version=NRSV">Old Testament story</a> of the virgin Midianites in which Yahweh commands the Israelites to kill the used women but keep the virgin girls for themselves.)<br />
<br />
It was also a time when gods picked favorites and meddled in the affairs of tribes and nations, and great men were born great. Small wonder, then, that so many powerful men claimed powerful paternity. In the tradition of the ancient Hebrews, this took the form of an obsession with lineage and pure, favored bloodlines. Writers of the Hebrew Bible trace the genealogy of King David back to Abraham, for example, and the genealogy of Abraham to the first man, Adam. In the Greek and Roman worlds, entitlement claims took the form of assigning supernatural paternity to public figures. The Christian tradition, somewhat awkwardly, tries to lay claim to both of these—tracing the lineage of Jesus through his father Joseph back to King David, while simultaneously denying that he had a human father.<br />
<br />
This is the context for the miraculous conception stories, and in this context, the consent of a woman is irrelevant. Within a society that treats female sexuality as a male possession, the only consent that can be violated is the consent of a woman’s owner, the man with the rights to her reproductive capacity—typically her father, fiancé, or husband. Many Christians are surprised when told that <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2012/11/04/the-bible-says-yes-to-legitimate-rape-and-rape-babies/">nowhere in the Bible</a>, either Old Testament or New, does any writer say that a woman’s consent is necessary or even desirable before sex.<br />
<br />
This omission is more than regrettable, it is tragic. Two thousand years after Hebrew and Aramaic texts were assembled into the modern Jewish Bible, 1600 years after a Roman Catholic committee voted books in and out of the Christian Bible, 1400 years after Muhammad wrote the Koran (which draws heavily on the moral framework of the Judeo-Christian tradition), we still struggle with the question of female consent. Our struggle is made immeasurably harder by the presence of ancient texts that have become modern idols—<a href="http://valerietarico.com/2012/03/09/15-bible-texts-reveal-why-gods-own-party-is-at-war-with-women/">texts that put God’s name on men’s desires</a>.<br />
<br />
The most extreme example may be a <a href="http://www.cbsnews.com/news/isis-issues-guidelines-for-sex-slavery/">document</a> published by the Islamic State, outlining rules for the treatment of sexual slaves, rules drawn from the Koran. Closer to home for most Americans is the awkward but widespread existence of Christian <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2014/04/02/controversial-mega-minister-faces-mega-mutiny/">leaders who teach</a> that a woman’s glory is in childbearing, and that a woman who fails to service her husband whenever he desires is failing to serve God.<br />
<br />
But even closer to home for many is the shocking prevalence on college campuses and in society at large of sexual manipulation and coercion perpetrated by males who otherwise seem morally intact. One can’t help but notice that a large number of high profile cases involve high status males: fraternity members, a famous actor, a radio host, small town football stars and big league professional athletes—men, in other words, who think they are gods. Convinced of their own deific qualities, it just follows that the object of their attentions has gotta want it—and if she doesn’t, well, that fine too, because when a god wants a woman, consent isn’t really part of the story.<br />
<br />
<hr /><br />
<em>Valerie Tarico is a psychologist and writer in Seattle, Washington. She is the author of </em><a href="http://astore.amazon.com/exchrisnetenc-20/detail/0977392937"><em>Trusting Doubt: A Former Evangelical Looks at Old Beliefs in a New Light</em></a><em> and </em><a href="http://www.theoracleinstitute.org/deas"><em>Deas and Other Imaginings</em></a><em>, and the founder of </em><a href="http://www.wisdomcommons.org/"><em>www.WisdomCommons.org</em></a><em>. Her articles about religion, reproductive health, and the role of women in society have been featured at sites including AlterNet, Salon, the Huffington Post, Grist, and Jezebel. Subscribe at </em><a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/"><em>ValerieTarico.com</em></a><em>. </em><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<strong><a href="http://valerietarico.com/2014/12/14/the-slut-shaming-sex-negative-message-in-the-christmas-story-its-worth-a-family-conversation/" rel="bookmark">The Slut Shaming, Sex-Negative Message in the Virgin Birth—It’s Worth a Family Conversation</a></strong><br />
<br />
<a href="http://valerietarico.com/2009/01/09/ancient-mythic-origins-of-the-christmas-story/" rel="bookmark"><strong><span style="color: #0066cc;">Ancient Mythic Origins of the Christmas Story</span></strong></a><br />
<br />
<strong><a href="http://valerietarico.com/2014/12/09/the-not-so-virgin-birth-of-the-christmas-story/" rel="bookmark">The Not-So-Virgin Birth of the Christmas Story</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://valerietarico.com/2012/12/11/twelve-christmas-traditions-even-a-black-hearted-grinch-of-an-atheist-can-celebrate/" rel="bookmark">12 Christmas Traditions That Aren’t About God or Shopping</a></strong><br />
<br />
<a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/is-it-ok-to-celebrate-christmas-even-if-you%e2%80%99re-not-a-christian/"><strong>Is it Ok to Celebrate Christmas Even If You’re Not a Christian?</strong></a><br />
<br />
<strong><a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/2010/12/14/celebrating-love-and-light-10-holiday-tips-for-the-post-religious/">Celebrating Love and Light: Ten Holiday Tips for the Post Religious</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/2013/12/14/merry-atheist-christmas-londons-atheist-church-the-sunday-assembly-goes-all-out-to-celebrate-its-first-holiday-season/">Merry Atheist Christmas! London’s Atheist Church, the Sunday Assembly, Goes All Out to Celebrate Its First Holiday Season</a></strong><br />
<br />
<a href="http://valerietarico.com/2010/01/19/in-seattle-solstice-is-the-reason-for-the-season/"><strong>In Seattle, Solstice is the Reason for the Season</strong></a> Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-10600416977542910772014-12-22T04:51:00.000-05:002020-04-08T10:00:00.022-04:00Those Damn Christmas Newsletters <i>By summerbreeze ~ </i><br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEillV8EZM0uv8AMPhUF-68sWWrI_UUQgQxXnsXuAHtz5xrWTfA3txJ0NNYxYKtvVJZolCtGyRSaMiABMW4sMHdejMj8zQb3S9b16oTMdA_I2AUiEY8XPQmFYlUbKu79p07v_W-KVEpNdlU/s1600/personal+newsletter+%5B640x480%5D.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEillV8EZM0uv8AMPhUF-68sWWrI_UUQgQxXnsXuAHtz5xrWTfA3txJ0NNYxYKtvVJZolCtGyRSaMiABMW4sMHdejMj8zQb3S9b16oTMdA_I2AUiEY8XPQmFYlUbKu79p07v_W-KVEpNdlU/s1600/personal+newsletter+%5B640x480%5D.jpg" height="320" width="247"></a><span class="dropcap">A</span>aaahh, Christmas is coming, and along with Christmas come those horribly annoying Christmas newsletters.<br />
<br />
I don't know how you feel about them, or even if you annually put them out, but for myself, I cannot help but cringe over the ones that come our way every year.<br />
<br />
Never in the History of mankind has there been more bragging, exaggerating, gloating, half truths, and denial of real facts than in that "friendly" print-out inclosed in an innocent looking Christmas Card.<br />
<br />
Just once I would like to hear some honest news ( warts and all ) instead of folks going on and on ad nauseam about their cake lives.<br />
<br />
......and the worst of the worst are from fundamentalist friends and relatives.<br />
<br />
How much more enjoyable and heartwarming the Christmas Season would be, if something more like the following was lurking in the mailbox for me.<br />
<br />
( A bit of a stretch, but lets have fun with it )<br />
<br />
<hr /><br />
<b>Hi All. The Smith clan here wishes you a very Merry Christmas!</b><br />
<br />
We've had a busy year, and with the help of The Lord, we will overcome.<br />
<br />
Eli is now out on bail, having been falsely accused of embezzlement in our Church. Being a wonderful Pastor for 40 years accounts for nothing with his accusers I guess.<br />
<br />
Those Godless folk at the police station and the court will feel God's wrath, you can be certain of that.<br />
<br />
Yesterday some mean men came and took away my new <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Audi" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Audi">Audi</a> ( an anniversary gift from my sweet Eli ).<br />
<br />
Jacob and Rebecca are expecting their 5th child ! They are having a bit of hard times financially, it's hard to keep down a job when they both are out picketing <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Planned_Parenthood" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Planned Parenthood">Planned Parenthood</a> and doing The Lord's work by organizing anti-abortion rallies.<br />
<br />
Ruth has obtained a great position at <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobby_Lobby" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Hobby Lobby">Hobby Lobby</a>'s main headquarters. She has been to China 3 times so far, helping to choose goods that Americans will like and to give her in-put as to future products. This company is such a fine example of a business that is blessed. I look forward to buying their products each time I visit their stores, and am so proud to be an American Christian consumer.<br />
<br />
Rachel is going through a divorce. Her husband of 5 years suddenly wanted to go back to College. He picked a regular College, not a <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible_college" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Bible college">Bible College</a>, which upset all of us a lot. Soon he came home with such blasphemous ideas about our Lord, and how his Professors thought that the earth was created !<br />
<br />
I say good-riddence, we do not need a heathen in our family.<br />
<br />
Gabriel was unfortunately mugged in the ChicFil-A's back parking lot by a girl who was there for a meet-up with him through Christian Mingle. The girl brought a male companion with her, and together they beat him up, stole the flowers and candy he brought, then stole his car.<br />
<br />
With the Lord's help his bruises are almost gone, and we are praying that he will get his car back. "<br />
<br />
Well, I must close, but before I do, remember that<br />
<br />
GOD LOVES YOU and that JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON !<br />
<br />
The Smith'sDave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-36059665067940690822014-12-22T04:06:00.001-05:002014-12-31T07:10:23.911-05:00The Whiteboard Saga Continues....<i>By Klym ~ </i><br />
<br />
<i> For my fellow Ex-C'ers who are following the case of the anonymous whiteboard posters (see my previous article "<a href="http://new.exchristian.net/2014/12/merry-christmas-vs-happy-holidays.html" target="_blank">Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays</a>"), here is the essay I posted on the teacher's lunchroom whiteboard in response to Christian complaints of feeling marginalized because of the cancellation of the traditional Christmas sing-along at our school:</i><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2GLuoJ1ipBSZKPwTF9TQgseyC7nzPCfu9vNf9RPCBBxLVueOMHbD3cvjxfqLQidkO8r7qt7z38bjGPUJA7JHwB3wBm_Egt4MqpRUzk7XpRNeXG-xq56LltU53HLXjHXuC5pxb4SiSWak/s1600/assholes.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2GLuoJ1ipBSZKPwTF9TQgseyC7nzPCfu9vNf9RPCBBxLVueOMHbD3cvjxfqLQidkO8r7qt7z38bjGPUJA7JHwB3wBm_Egt4MqpRUzk7XpRNeXG-xq56LltU53HLXjHXuC5pxb4SiSWak/s1600/assholes.png" height="138" width="320" /></a></div>
<span class="dropcap">H</span>appy Holidays and/or Merry Christmas?<br />
<br />
<a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holiday_greetings" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Holiday greetings">Happy Holidays</a> is an all-inclusive well wish that is perfectly appropriate for this season of the year. It excludes no one regardless of race, creed, or culture. It wishes all human beings joy and kindness during the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_and_holiday_season" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Christmas and holiday season">holiday season</a>. It's kind of like an all-purpose greeting---it covers all the bases and should insult no one.<br />
<br />
Merry Christmas is also a proper greeting, but by no means is it the only appropriate greeting for this time of winter solstice and the celebration of new light and life. Merry Christmas does, however, narrow down the greeting to address a particular religious group, but it is still a bright and cheerful well wish that is a tradition of the season.<br />
<br />
So why do those who choose to say Merry Christmas rather than Happy Holidays feel so marginalized? True, in a public school that is funded by the federal government we must be careful not to break the law of separation of church and state. Public schools, by their very nature, are secular places of employment. Public schools are open to children of all beliefs. So Merry Christmas can be joined by other religious greetings, such as <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hanukkah" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Hanukkah">Happy Hanukkah</a>, or a meditation from <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gautama_Buddha" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Gautama Buddha">the Buddha</a>'s teachings, or a Native <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Geographic_Beanie_Babies" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Geographic Beanie Babies">American blessing</a>, or a secular greeting of Happy Holidays; such is the privilege of living in America, the cultural melting pot of the world. In this 21st century, diveristy is a good and wonderful thing----why not embrace it and thrive in it? Build bridges, rather than walls, between ourselves and our fellow human beings?<br />
<br />
It really doesn't matter to me. I feel just as blessed by either greeting---Happy Holidays or Merry Christmas or even Bah Humbug, for those who don't particularly care for the holiday in the first place. (At times I do feel a bit "Grinch-y" at this time of year!)<br />
<br />
From your school counselor,<br />
<br />
Klym <i>(my real name was signed here)</i><br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
"May you be filled with loving kindness.<br />
<br />
<br />
May you be well.<br />
<br />
<br />
May you have peace and joy.<br />
<br />
<br />
May you know love."<br />
<br />
<br />
A Metta Buddhist blessing</blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
"Honor the Sacred.<br />
<br />
<br />
<a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Honor_the_Earth" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Honor the Earth">Honor the Earth</a>, our Mother.<br />
<br />
<br />
Honor the Elders.<br />
<br />
<br />
Honor all with whom we share the Earth.<br />
<br />
<br />
Four-leggeds, two-leggeds, winged ones, swimmers, crawlers,<br />
<br />
<br />
plant and rock people. Walk in balance and beauty."<br />
<br />
<br />
<a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Indian_elder" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="American Indian elder">Native American Elder</a></blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
"Blessed are you, Hashem our God, King of th Universe,<br />
<br />
<br />
Who has kept us alive, sustained us, And brought us to this season.<br />
<br />
<br />
Hanukkah Blessing</blockquote>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
"For unto you is born this day in the city of David, a Saviour,<br />
<br />
<br />
which is Christ the Lord."<br />
<br />
<br />
Luke 2:11</blockquote>
<br />
<br />
(End of article)<br />
<br />
<br />
So, there you have it. My attempt to balance the scales, to bring to the faculty's attention that we live in a diverse world, and to remind them that the Christian point of view is not the only voice out there. I wanted them to understand that other religious beliefs are as worthy of their consideration as their own beliefs; and hopefully to open their minds a bit to the freedom that is available to those of all beliefs, or no beliefs at all.<br />
<br />
The result of my post was unremarkable. A couple of my friends at school who are <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Liberal_Christianity" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Liberal Christianity">liberal Christians</a> commented favorably on it. My atheist teacher friend wanted to sign his name to it. Other than that, nothing notable happened. I wasn't tarred and feathered and forced out of town by torch-bearing fundies. No one came forward to sign their names to their anonymous postings about the "War on Christmas". I didn't change the world. But, maybe some people were forced to rethink their attitudes. Maybe it made them even more sure of their belief that Christmas is under attack. Whatever the case, I feel better about myself. I feel more true to myself, and even though I did not "come out" as a non-theist, I think my colleagues now know that I am an advocate for free-thinking, and for the children on our campus who are not Christians. I am happy with that for now.Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-56256738719601758362014-12-18T18:50:00.001-05:002014-12-29T04:45:53.449-05:00The Slut Shaming, Sex-Negative Message in the Virgin Birth—It’s Worth a Family Conversation<i>By Valerie Tarico ~ </i><br />
<br />
<a href="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/christmas-annunciation.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Christmas - Annunciation" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-2631" height="300" src="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/christmas-annunciation.jpg?w=242" width="242" /></a><em><span class="dropcap">T</span>he birth story of baby Jesus celebrates the promise of new life, but for girls it also sends a harmful message. How can we acknowledge this without spoiling the rest? </em><br />
<br />
Most Americans, even many who are not very religious, look forward to Christmas as a time to celebrate warmth, friendship, generosity and good cheer. Familiar festivities weave together stories and <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2012/12/11/twelve-christmas-traditions-even-a-black-hearted-grinch-of-an-atheist-can-celebrate/">traditions from many cultures</a>, which makes it easy to find something for everyone. But maybe it’s time to look a little closer at the Christmas story itself.<br />
<br />
The birth story of the baby Jesus is heartwarming and iconic—the promise of new life and new hope in a time of darkness. It has inspired centuries of maternal art and is the best loved of all Bible stories. It also has a darker subtext, especially for someone like me—the mother of two daughters.<br />
<br />
In the story, an angel appears to a virgin girl, announcing that she will conceive a baby boy. Her fiancé Joseph decides to stick with her only because her baby bump is of divine origins. The author of Luke makes a point of telling us that he refrains from sex with her till after the baby Jesus is born. All of this emphasis on Mary’s sexual history, or rather lack thereof, sends a message that can be shaming and harmful: Only an unbedded, unsullied, unused female—a virgin—could be good enough to birth a perfect child, the son of God.<br />
<br />
<strong>Virginity Equals Purity</strong><br />
<br />
Girls who have sex are soiled. That may not be the first thing that comes to mind when we see a picture of Madonna and child or hear a Christmas carol, but the message is clear all the same, and the fact that it is subtext may make it all the more insidious for young women.<br />
<br />
Mind you, Christianity is not the only religion that has assigned such extraordinary status to the pristine vagina or, conversely, treated female sexuality as something lesser or tainted. For example, Buddha’s mother Maya, called the “best of all women,” becomes pregnant after a god in a dream enters her womb from the side. Adding insult to injury, Buddhism tells us that a<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
"Bodisat leaves his mother's womb erect and unsoiled, like a preacher descending from a pulpit or a man from a ladder, erect, stretching out his hands and feet, unsoiled by any impurities from contact with his mother's womb, pure and fair, and shining like a gem placed on fine muslin of Benares." -- Mahapadana-sutra, Digha ii. 12</blockquote>
<br />
In the Ancient Near East, the birthplace of Christianity, some cultures saw the woman’s body as a vessel for a baby, which grew from the seed of a man or sometimes a supernatural being, much as a seed might grow in the earth. In this way of thinking, heroes and powerful men must have come from divine seed, and claims of a sexless conception underscored their supernatural origins. The <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amenhotep_III" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Amenhotep III">Pharaoh Amenhotep III</a>, Perseus, Romulus . . . even Augustus, Pythagoras, and Alexander the Great all were the subject of miraculous birth claims.<br />
<br />
<strong>Mama’s Baby, Papa’s Maybe</strong><br />
<br />
The enormous value that patriarchal cultures and religions place on female virginity has roots in biology. We’ve all heard the saying, “Mama’s baby, Papa’s maybe.” From time immemorial men have sought to control female sexuality to ensure that the children in which they invest their time, money and life energy are their own; and also to maximize their own offspring. Male animals of some other species do the same. For example, when a new male lion comes into a pride, he may kill all of the cubs from the previous male, which brings the females into heat so that he himself can mate them.<br />
<br />
<strong>Man’s Instincts Become God’s Edicts</strong><br />
<br />
In the tribal, herding cultures of the Near East a young woman’s sexuality—her ability to produce purebred offspring of known origin—was an asset that belonged to her father. In the Hebrew Bible’s legal code, a rapist can be forced to purchase the goods he has damaged and to then keep her as a wife. A girl who voluntarily destroys this family asset by having sex before her wedding is to be stoned—the same penalty that persists in Islam today.<br />
<br />
A woman’s reproductive capacity is also valuable booty of war. In the battle between the Israelites and Midianites, for example, God’s messenger instructs that the Israelites are to kill all of the women who have been with a man but to keep the virgin girls for themselves. (<a href="http://valerietarico.com/2012/03/09/15-bible-texts-reveal-why-gods-own-party-is-at-war-with-women/">These and other horrible references here</a>.)<br />
<br />
Culture and religion transform biological urges into legally binding prescriptions from God himself. Once that happens, patterns that may have started for practical or biological reasons take on a momentum of their own, and we see this in the history of the Virgin Mary.<br />
<br />
<strong>The Sexless Union of Israel and Rome</strong><br />
<br />
The earliest sects of Christianity disagreed with each other about when and how Jesus became uniquely divine. Some believed that he was adopted by God at the time of his baptism or resurrection. But as Christianity, with its Hebrew roots, adapted to the cultures of the Roman Empire, <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2014/12/09/the-not-so-virgin-birth-of-the-christmas-story/">the story of a supernatural, sexless birth won out</a>. It beautifully merged the god-man tradition of the Empire with Judaism’s obsessive and multifaceted focus on purity—pure bloodlines, pure foods, unblemished bodies, monotheism, unblended fabrics, and, of course, virginity.<br />
<br />
The Roman Catholic Church took the last of these new heights, turning Mary into a <a href="http://www.catholic.com/tracts/mary-ever-virgin">perpetual virgin</a> for life and then for all of eternity, and eventually making vows of sexual abstinence a requirement of monastic life and the priesthood.<br />
<br />
Actress <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Julia_Sweeney" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Julia Sweeney">Julia Sweeney</a>, in her funny, tender monologue, <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/julia_sweeney_on_letting_go_of_god"><em>Letting Go of God</em></a>, describes an encounter with two fresh-faced Mormon missionaries. Finding herself incredulous at some their beliefs, she pictures door-to-door Catholics enthusiastically endorsing the faith of her childhood:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
If someone came to my door and I was hearing Catholic theology and dogma for the first time, and they said, “We believe that God impregnated a very young girl without the use of intercourse, and the fact that she was a virgin is maniacally important to us . . .” I would have thought that was equally ridiculous. I’m just so used to that story.</blockquote>
<br />
<strong>Aphrodesia or Death</strong><br />
<br />
<span class="pullquote">How can all of us teach our daughters that their bodies are wholesome and beautiful, whether or not they have been molested or assaulted or have had sexual experiences of their own choosing?</span>“Maniacally important” may be a quirky Julia Sweeney turn of phrase, but it contains an oversized grain of truth. The Catholic pantheon of saints and martyrs is peopled with females who, with Mary as their model of virtuous womanhood, valued their virginity (and their chaste yet semi-sexual devotion to Jesus) more than their lives: <a href="http://www.roman-catholic-saints.com/st-agatha.html">St. Agatha</a>, in an attempt to break her virtuous resolve, was handed over to Aphrodesia, “an abominable woman, who, together with her daughters, publicly professed immodesty.” <a href="http://www.ewtn.com/library/mary/stlucy.htm">St. Lucy</a>, “was yet very young when she offered to God the flower of her virginity.” <a href="http://www.catholicculture.org/culture/liturgicalyear/activities/view.cfm?id=1210">St. Barbara</a>’s “father, carrying out her death sentence, beheaded her himself, and in turn, legend says, was consumed by a fire from heaven;” and St. Ursula, was martyred on a prenuptial pilgrimage with 11,000 other virgins!<br />
<br />
The glories of female virginity have spawned tributes ranging from paintings to pilgrimages and poetry to place names. Christopher Columbus christened the Virgin Islands in honor of St. Ursula and her untouched entourage, while the State of Virginia was named after England’s Elizabeth, “The Virgin Queen.” Virginia remains a popular girl’s name in the U.S., along with a host of variants such as Ginny, Ginger, Gina, Lagina, and Gigi. All of these mean chaste, fresh and maidenly—virginal.<br />
<br />
<strong>Promise Rings and Purity Balls</strong><br />
<br />
Protestant Christianity is a rebel offspring of the Vatican, and even though the Protestant reformers rejected the cult of Mary, Catholicism’s supreme value on female chastity was deeply imbedded in their DNA, where it persists to this day. Among the more quixotic manifestations are purity balls and promise rings through which a young girl can pledge her maidenhead to her father for safekeeping until such time as he should hand it over to a mutually agreeable young man.<br />
<br />
The image of a girl in a white dress dancing with her daddy, like a beautiful painting of Madonna and child, may evoke a feeling of sweet nostalgia. But rituals and icons like these are artistic residual of the ancient Near Eastern culture in which women (along with children and slaves and livestock) were <a href="http://www.alternet.org/story/154144/why_patriarchal_men_are_utterly_petrified_of_birth_control_--_and_why_we%27ll_still_be_fighting_about_it_100_years_from_now/">literally possessions of men</a>. As writer <a href="http://jessicavalenti.com/">Jessica Valenti</a> outlines in her book, <em>The Purity Myth, </em>they are the bright surface of a dark, deep cultural current that denies and shames women’s sexuality.<br />
<br />
A woman used is a woman soiled. A woman raped is a woman ruined. A girl who explores her body with a boy is a licked lollypop. A divorced woman shouldn’t get married in white. Only an unbedded and so unsullied female—a virgin—could be pure enough to birth a perfect child, the son of God.<br />
<br />
<strong>Beyond Virginity</strong><br />
<br />
How can sex-positive people who also enjoy Christmas affirm what it means to be fully female, including the physical pleasures of the female body, not merely its reproductive potential? How can all of us teach our daughters that their bodies are wholesome and beautiful, whether or not they have been molested or assaulted or have had sexual experiences of their own choosing? How can we help to break down the harmful virgin-whore dichotomy, with the only alternative being asexual motherhood?<br />
<br />
Some Christian theologians have returned to emphasizing the earliest Christ birth narratives, in which Jesus came into the world in the normal way. Two Church fathers, Origin and Justin Martyr, mention sects of Christians who believed Jesus was the natural son of Mary and Joseph. The Apostle Paul and even the writer of Luke appear to have <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2014/12/09/the-not-so-virgin-birth-of-the-christmas-story/">held this perspective</a>, and the virgin birth is now thought to be a late addition to the gospel narratives.<br />
<br />
Episcopal priest, Chloe Breyer summarizes the long history of Christian debate over the virgin birth in her article, “<a href="http://www.slate.com/articles/news_and_politics/recycled/2009/12/the_earthly_father.html">The Earthly Father</a>.” Even after virgin birth stories emerged, a countervailing <em>illegitimacy tradition</em> persisted for centuries. By the time the Bible congealed in the fourth century, such perspectives were considered heretical, but they have been <a href="http://www.rci.rutgers.edu/~lcrew/joyanyway/joy70.html">revived</a> in recent years. Such arguments admittedly go against the current, but they show that belief in a virgin birth—with all that implies about female sexuality—is not <em>necessary </em>to Christianity or to appreciating many kinds of symbolism in Christmas story.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://progressivechristianity.org/">Progressive Christians</a>, do not treat the Bible as the literally perfect word of God but instead understand it as a human-made set of documents containing moral and spiritual insights (and failings) of our ancestors. <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2012/06/04/i-dont-believe-in-a-god-what-should-i-call-myself/">Secularists</a>, though they may not prize the Bible, understand all sacred texts in this way, which allows us to glean through, keeping the parts that fit and treating the rest as a window into human history and psychology.<br />
<br />
For those who share this mindset, whether or not they retain some belief in the supernatural, the Christmas story and season offer valuable opportunities to open up conversation with young people about many aspects of humanity’s long moral arc, including perspectives on the female body. Simply leaving youth to internalize negative messages about sexuality or waiting for them to bring up awkward topics is asking them to do our job. The wise parent or aunt or friend tunes in to readiness and explores ideas and values as opportunities arise. Perhaps one of your gifts during this holiday season could be the gift of a conversation.<br />
<br />
<hr />
<br />
<em>Valerie Tarico is a psychologist and writer in Seattle, Washington. She is the author of </em><a href="http://astore.amazon.com/exchrisnetenc-20/detail/0977392937"><em>Trusting Doubt: A Former Evangelical Looks at Old Beliefs in a New Light</em></a><em> and </em><a href="http://www.theoracleinstitute.org/deas"><em>Deas and Other Imaginings</em></a><em>, and the founder of </em><a href="http://www.wisdomcommons.org/"><em>www.WisdomCommons.org</em></a><em>. Her articles about religion, reproductive health, and the role of women in society have been featured at sites including AlterNet, Salon, the Huffington Post, Grist, and Jezebel. Subscribe at </em><a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/"><em>ValerieTarico.com</em></a>. <br />
<br />
<strong>Related:<br />
<br />
</strong><a href="http://valerietarico.com/2009/01/09/ancient-mythic-origins-of-the-christmas-story/"><strong>Ancient Mythic Origins of the Christmas Story</strong></a><br />
<br />
<strong><a href="http://valerietarico.com/2014/12/09/the-not-so-virgin-birth-of-the-christmas-story/">The Not-So-Virgin Birth of the Christmas Story</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://valerietarico.com/2012/12/11/twelve-christmas-traditions-even-a-black-hearted-grinch-of-an-atheist-can-celebrate/">12 Christmas Traditions That Aren’t About God or Shopping</a></strong><br />
<br />
<a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/is-it-ok-to-celebrate-christmas-even-if-you%e2%80%99re-not-a-christian/"><strong> Is it Ok to Celebrate Christmas Even If You’re Not a Christian?</strong></a><br />
<br />
<strong><a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/2010/12/14/celebrating-love-and-light-10-holiday-tips-for-the-post-religious/">Celebrating Love and Light: Ten Holiday Tips for the Post Religious</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/2013/12/14/merry-atheist-christmas-londons-atheist-church-the-sunday-assembly-goes-all-out-to-celebrate-its-first-holiday-season/">Merry Atheist Christmas! London’s Atheist Church, the Sunday Assembly, Goes All Out to Celebrate Its First Holiday Season</a></strong><br />
<br />
<a href="http://valerietarico.com/2010/01/19/in-seattle-solstice-is-the-reason-for-the-season/"><strong>In Seattle, Solstice is the Reason for the Season</strong></a>Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-89400655480368975482014-12-17T14:46:00.000-05:002014-12-27T15:57:12.651-05:00The Not-So-Virgin Birth of the Christmas StoryBy Valerie Tarico ~ <br />
<br />
<a href="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/awaypoint-nativity-scene.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="nativity scene" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-2605" height="188" src="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/awaypoint-nativity-scene.jpg?w=300" width="300" /></a><em><span class="dropcap">C</span>elestial messengers, natural wonders and a virgin birth establish the baby Jesus as someone special. Why does the rest of the New Testament ignore these auspicious beginnings?</em><br />
<br />
Sometime toward the end of the first century, the writer of <em>Luke </em>told a story that would become one of the most treasured in all of Western Civilization, the birth of the baby Jesus. It opens with an announcement known as the Annunciation. A messenger angel named Gabriel appears to a young Jewish virgin, Mary, telling her that the spirit of God will enter her and she will give birth to a child who is both human and divine:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>The angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And now, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great, and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give to him the throne of his ancestor David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and of his kingdom there will be no end.” Mary said to the angel, “How can this be, since I am a virgin?” The angel said to her, “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore the child to be born will be holy; he will be called Son of God. (Luke 1:30-34 NRSV)</blockquote><br />
<strong>Two Wonder-filled Stories Merge</strong><br />
<br />
Our modern Christmas story is a composite drawn from two gospels, meaning devotional accounts of the life of Jesus, known as the books of <em>Matthew</em> and <em>Luke</em>. Both accounts underscore that Mary, a virgin, was impregnated by God alone. The writer of <em>Matthew </em>doesn’t repeat the Annunciation, but he does say that Mary’s fiancé Joseph wants to end their betrothal when he discovers that Mary is pregnant. An angel tells Joseph in a dream that her pregnancy is “of the Holy Spirit,” and so he keeps her a virgin until she gives birth to Jesus. (Matthew 1:18-25)<br />
<br />
<a href="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/awaypoint-flinks-angels-anouncing-the-birth-of-christ-to-the-shepherds.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="flinks-angels-anouncing-the-birth-of-christ-to-the-shepherds" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-2610" height="241" src="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/awaypoint-flinks-angels-anouncing-the-birth-of-christ-to-the-shepherds.jpg?w=300" width="300" /></a>Mary’s virginity is just one of several ways that the authors of the gospels signal to readers that this is no ordinary birth. Each accounts includes several supernatural wonders and pronouncements of God’s favor.<br />
<br />
Because the gospels were aimed at different audiences, the auspicious events differ from story to story. <em>Matthew</em>: A rising star is seen by astrologers who bring gifts that foreshadow the baby’s future. <em>Luke</em>: A chorus of angels singing to shepherds on the hills. <em>Matthew</em>: A jealous king murders baby boys to protect his throne but the family of the holy child, having been warned in a dream, escapes. <em>Luke: </em>A prophet and prophetess recognize the infant’s divine spark.<br />
<br />
Christmas pageants that merge these elements into a single story have delighted children and adults alike for centuries. The traditional manger scene or crèche merges them into a single panorama.<br />
<br />
<strong>Grand Beginnings are Soon Forgotten</strong><br />
<br />
<a href="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/awaypoint-jesus-in-the-temple.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Jesus in the temple" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-2608" height="223" src="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/awaypoint-jesus-in-the-temple.jpg?w=300" width="300" /></a>Many people might find it surprising that these auspicious infancy stories are never referenced elsewhere in the New Testament, for example in the letters of Paul or in the other two gospels that made their way into the Christian Bible. Even in the book of <em>Luke</em> itself, by the time Jesus is a boy, it is almost as if even his parents have forgotten the extraordinary circumstances of his birth. When he turns twelve, his family travels to Jerusalem, where his parents lose him. After three days, they find him in the temple:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>When his parents saw him they were astonished; and his mother said to him, “Child, why have you treated us like this? Look, your father and I have been searching for you in great anxiety.” He said to them, “Why were you searching for me? Did you not know that I must be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them. (Luke 2:48-50 NRSV).</blockquote><br />
Why would two authors describe a virgin birth announced by an angel and accompanied by natural wonders and then, not long after, have their characters behave as if it didn’t happen? That seems like an oddly wasted opportunity for writers who were seeking to establish both their own credibility and the credibility of their fledgling religion. Why don’t the dramatic astrological and biological signs of divinity surrounding the birth of Jesus get more play?<br />
<br />
Christianity’s virgin birth narrative, both what it says and why it is poorly integrated into the rest of the Bible, is a fascinating study in cultural evolution. Specifically, it illustrates a process called “syncretism” whereby religions merge over time when cultures come into contact.<br />
<br />
<strong>The New Testament Is Out of Order</strong><br />
<br />
Mainstream Bible scholarship tells us that the marvel-filled stories about the birth of Jesus don’t get referenced later in the New Testament because they were written <em>after </em>many of the books that follow them. When the books of the New Testament are arranged chronologically using the best information available, the gospels of <em>Matthew</em> and <em>Luke</em> are numbers 11 and 20 respectively. They come after letters that are believed to be authentic writings of Paul, for example, and after the gospel of <em>Mark</em>, which may have been a source for both authors but fails to mention an auspicious birth.<br />
<br />
In addition, the birth narratives may have been late additions to the gospels themselves, which would explain why they seem forgotten later in the story. Evidence for this can be seen in how <a href="http://www.bartdehrman.com/books/orthodox_corruption.htm">different versions of the gospels changed over time</a>.<br />
<br />
But the Catholic councils that decided which texts would go into the New Testament didn’t know that. They lacked the modern tools of <a href="http://www.bartdehrman.com/">linguistic analysis</a>, archeology and anthropology and the mindset of antiquities scholarship. They believed that the books called <em>Matthew </em>and <em>Luke</em> were written by men named Matthew and Luke, one a disciple of Jesus and the other a companion of Paul, who had gotten some stories second hand and had been eye witnesses to others. The councils put the gospels first (and the book of Revelation last) because they were trying to assemble a coherent narrative.<br />
<br />
<strong>Christianity Adapted to the Roman World</strong><br />
<br />
<a href="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/awaypoint-m-europa-coypel.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Awaypoint - M-Europa-Coypel" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-2607" height="300" src="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/awaypoint-m-europa-coypel.jpg?w=218" width="218" /></a>In 2012, Jesus scholar Marcus Borg published <a href="http://www.prweb.com/releases/evolutionoftheword/marcusborg/prweb9847868.htm"><em>Evolution of the Word: Reading the Bible in the Order It was Written</em></a>. Borg encourages readers to explore the 27 books of the New Testament in the order they were written to see how Christian thinking unfolded over time. Ordering the texts as they were written also allows scholars to put the evolution of Christianity in a historical context.<br />
<br />
<span class="pullquote">One trend line is that the stories about Jesus become more magical over time.</span>Read this way, one trend line is that the stories about Jesus become more magical over time. For example, John, the last gospel written, has Jesus making the boldest claims about his own deity. Another trend line is that over time, Jesus worship picks up bits of other cultures as Christianity spreads among the gentiles of the Roman Empire. Borg describes “an increasing accommodation within the cultural conventions of the time.” Some of those conventions came from Greek mythology and Roman civic religion.<br />
<br />
<strong>The Earliest References to Jesus’ Birth Are More Mundane than Magical</strong><br />
<br />
The earliest mention of the birth of Jesus comes in Paul’s letter to the church at Galatia, likely written between 49 and 55 C.E, or about half a century before the gospels of <em>Matthew </em>and <em>Luke. </em>Paul’s description makes no mention of a virgin birth. He says simply that, “But when the time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under law” (Galatians 4:4).<br />
<br />
In another letter, Paul seems to imply that Jesus came into the world in the usual way. In Romans 1:1-3 he refers to . . . the gospel of God...concerning his Son Jesus Christ our Lord, which was made of the seed of David according to the flesh." The phrase “seed of David” refers specifically to the genealogy of Joseph, the husband of Mary.<br />
<br />
<strong>So Why Divine Insemination?</strong><br />
<br />
Symbologist and retired religion professor Dr. Tony Nugent, tells us that the miraculous elements of the Christmas story have their <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2009/01/09/ancient-mythic-origins-of-the-christmas-story/">roots in ancient mythic traditions</a> that predated and surrounded nascent Christianity. In Greek and Roman mythology, heroes and great men often were born from the union of a god and a human woman. For example, in the story of Hercules, Zeus impregnates his mother by taking the form of her husband. Helen of Troy is conceived when Zeus takes the form of a swan and either seduces or rapes her mother Leda. Danaë, the mother of Perseus, is impregnated by a shower of gold. Mars, the Roman god of war fathers the twins Romulus and Remus through Rhea Silvia, a Vestal Virgin. Even Augustus, Pythagoras, and Alexander the Great were reputed to have human mothers and divine fathers.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/awaypoint-nephalim.gif" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="nephilim" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-2606" height="300" src="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/awaypoint-nephalim.gif?w=240" width="240" /></a>The idea of gods or demi-gods mating with human women was familiar throughout the Ancient Near East. It appears in the book of Genesis:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>When people began to multiply on the face of the ground, and daughters were born to them, the sons of God saw that they were fair; and they took wives for themselves of all that they chose. Then the Lord said, “My spirit shall not abide in mortals forever, for they are flesh; their days shall be one hundred twenty years.” The Nephilim were on the earth in those days—and also afterward—when the sons of God went in to the daughters of humans, who bore children to them. These were the heroes that were of old, warriors of renown. (Genesis 6:1-4, NRSV)</blockquote><br />
Early Christians disagreed over when, exactly Jesus became divine. Jewish converts promoted a theory called “adoptionism” in which Jesus is uniquely adopted as God’s son later in life. The <em>Gospel of Mark</em> for example, suggests that this happens at the time of his baptism. Paul suggests that it happens when he is resurrected. The authors of <em>Matthew </em>and <em>Luke, </em>clearly had a view in this debate—they believed that the sonship of Jesus began at birth, and they made their case in terms that would be both familiar and persuasive to people of their time.<br />
<br />
<strong>An Ambiguous Prophecy Helps the Story Along</strong><br />
<br />
One key goal of the gospel writers was to show that the life of Jesus had been predicted by Hebrew prophesies and that the details of his life fulfilled these prophesies. Many Christians to this day take the fulfilled prophecies of the gospel stories as proof positive that stories are true. The naturalistic explanation, of course, is that the gospel writers (or the oral and written traditions they received) may have <em>shaped their stories about Jesus to fit the Hebrew scriptures.</em> And the careful documentation of Mary’s sexual history—or lack thereof—offers one bit of evidence that they did exactly that.<br />
<br />
After telling readers that Jesus was fathered by God himself in spirit form, the writer of <em>Matthew</em> adds the following words:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>“All this took place to fulfill what had been spoken by the Lord through the prophet: ‘Look, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son, and they shall name him Emmanuel,’ which means, ‘God is with us.’” (Matthew 1: 22-23).</blockquote><br />
<a href="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/awaypoint-prophet.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Awaypoint - prophet" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-2611" height="225" src="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/awaypoint-prophet.jpg?w=300" width="300" /></a>The quotation is taken from the book of Isaiah (7:14), and in the context of the time it is understood as predicting a hopeful future for the Kingdom of Hezekiah. But the Christian who first linked this passage to the person of Jesus must have been delighted.<br />
<br />
Early Judaism was very focused on purity—pure foods, <a href="https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Leviticus+21%3A16-24&version=NRSV">unblemished bodies</a>, and <a href="http://valerietarico.com/2012/03/09/15-bible-texts-reveal-why-gods-own-party-is-at-war-with-women/">female sexual abstinence</a> that ensured pure bloodlines for God’s chosen people. The Apostle Paul made sexual purity central to mainstream Roman Christianity. To a believer steeped in Rome’s tradition of divine insemination and Judaism’s tradition of virtuous virginity, a <a href="http://www.religioustolerance.org/virgin_b1.htm">divine virgin birth</a> might seem like exactly how Jesus should be born.<br />
<br />
The twist is this: The Hebrew word used by the writer of Isaiah is <em>almah,</em> which can mean either a young woman who hasn’t had sex or simply a young women who hasn’t yet born a child. Anglican theologian John Shelby Spong tells us that a different word Hebrew word <em>betulah,</em> is used 50 times in the Hebrew Bible when the writer wants to refer specifically and clearly to a woman who hasn’t had sex.<em> (</em><a href="http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/305825.Born_of_a_Woman"><em>Born of a Woman: A Bishop Rethinks the Virgin Birth and the Treatment of Women by a Male Dominated Church.</em></a>) But the gospel writers relied on a Greek translation of the Hebrew Scriptures known as the Septuagint. In the Septuagint, the word <em>almah</em> is translated as <em>parthenos</em>, which also can mean <a href="http://infidels.org/library/modern/richard_carrier/virginprophecy.html">either young girl or virgin</a>, but which is strongly associated with the virgin goddess Athena.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/awaypoint-virgin-with-baby-and-lamb1.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="Awaypoint - virgin with baby and lamb" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-2612" height="300" src="https://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2014/12/awaypoint-virgin-with-baby-and-lamb1.jpg?w=244" width="244" /></a>Would the writers of <em>Matthew</em> and <em>Luke</em> have emphasized Mary’s virginity if they had been privy to the original Hebrew? We will never know. What we do know is this. The story of a virginal young woman who is impregnated by a god and gives birth to a man who changes history appeals to the human imagination. It is a trope that has <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Qm7Kb18jlwU">emerged in many mythic traditions</a> and endured across centuries, cultures and continents. After it took root in Christianity, alternatives fell by the wayside, and the story of the baby Jesus, born to a virgin amidst signs and wonders, became the most celebrated and cherished story in the Bible.<br />
<br />
<em>Thank you to Dr. Tony Nugent, Presbyterian ordained symbologist and retired religion professor, for consultation on this article. </em><br />
<br />
<hr /><br />
<em>Valerie Tarico is a psychologist and writer in Seattle, Washington. She is the author of </em><a href="http://astore.amazon.com/exchrisnetenc-20/detail/0977392937"><em>Trusting Doubt: A Former Evangelical Looks at Old Beliefs in a New Light</em></a><em> and </em><a href="http://www.theoracleinstitute.org/deas"><em>Deas and Other Imaginings</em></a><em>, and the founder of </em><a href="http://www.wisdomcommons.org/"><em>www.WisdomCommons.org</em></a><em>. Her articles about religion, reproductive health, and the role of women in society have been featured at sites including AlterNet, Salon, the Huffington Post, Grist, and Jezebel. Subscribe at </em><a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/"><em>ValerieTarico.com</em></a><em>. </em><br />
<br />
<strong>Related:<br />
<br />
</strong><strong><a href="http://valerietarico.com/2009/01/09/ancient-mythic-origins-of-the-christmas-story/" rel="bookmark">Ancient Mythic Origins of the Christmas Story</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://valerietarico.com/2012/12/11/twelve-christmas-traditions-even-a-black-hearted-grinch-of-an-atheist-can-celebrate/" rel="bookmark">12 Christmas Traditions That Aren’t About God or Shopping</a></strong><br />
<br />
<a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/is-it-ok-to-celebrate-christmas-even-if-you%e2%80%99re-not-a-christian/"><strong>Is it Ok to Celebrate Christmas Even If You’re Not a Christian?</strong></a><br />
<br />
<strong><a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/2010/12/14/celebrating-love-and-light-10-holiday-tips-for-the-post-religious/">Celebrating Love and Light: Ten Holiday Tips for the Post Religious</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/2013/12/14/merry-atheist-christmas-londons-atheist-church-the-sunday-assembly-goes-all-out-to-celebrate-its-first-holiday-season/">Merry Atheist Christmas! London’s Atheist Church, the Sunday Assembly, Goes All Out to Celebrate Its First Holiday Season</a></strong><br />
<br />
<a href="http://valerietarico.com/2010/01/19/in-seattle-solstice-is-the-reason-for-the-season/"><strong>In Seattle, Solstice is the Reason for the Season</strong></a> Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-5556829137634056592014-12-16T04:47:00.001-05:002014-12-27T15:57:12.646-05:00Merry Christmas vs. Happy Holidays<i>By Klym ~ </i><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKVlcvrUf3ZNpg1i8dRh3m_r02n9888gvBUxWt7W-A_hwv8dCLmaMKXPZPTxEPPr_mMju6azQI5Ld_-YTkIxCmbB-56FDgleIRDR0p2XBAF1tNAdSBYNL-ez-CCxfuCECn4X2-t0eVgcY/s1600/saturn.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiKVlcvrUf3ZNpg1i8dRh3m_r02n9888gvBUxWt7W-A_hwv8dCLmaMKXPZPTxEPPr_mMju6azQI5Ld_-YTkIxCmbB-56FDgleIRDR0p2XBAF1tNAdSBYNL-ez-CCxfuCECn4X2-t0eVgcY/s1600/saturn.gif" height="171" width="320" /></a></div>
<span class="dropcap">I</span> was sitting in the teacher's lunchroom at the elementary school where Iwork and I was pissed off. I honestly thought I could feel smoke coming out of my ears, if that were possible. I was all alone (it was a Friday, so most teachers go off campus for lunch to celebrate the end of the work week) and I had all sorts of irreverent thoughts simmering in my brain, about to boil over. On the whiteboard in the lounge someone had anonymously written, in very large letters, with the word "Christmas" circled with red marker, the following statement: <br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>Merry Christmas! </b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br />
</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>(notice, I said CHRISTMAS,</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><br />
</b></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b>not holidays!!) </b></div>
<br />
A little background information is in order. For the past almost 40 years (the school was founded in 1976) this small north central Texas campus has been led by three principals---all bible-believing christians. They all three let christians do and say whatever they wanted through the years. The bible was read, prayers were spoken over the intercom system, prayer meetings were (and still are) held on campus--you get the picture. The <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Separation_of_church_and_state" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Separation of church and state">separation of church and state</a> was not a priority in the culture of this stuck-in-the-middle-ages school. I am in my 4th year here, so this history has been told to me by some of my more liberal minded colleagues.<br />
<br />
Anyway, we have a new principal this year, and she is enforcing the separation of church and state even though she is a christian. And everyone is up in arms because she decreed that our school could no longer include Christian songs in the annual Christmas sing-along that is a tradition that has been observed since the school's founding. (All students and faculty participate in the sing-along on the last day of school before the holiday break.) She announced in a faculty meeting that only secular songs would be allowed in order to respect the religious diversity present now on our campus. Our music teacher, who is a fundamentalist Baptist, told our principal that unless three Christian songs could be sung as is the custom, she (the music teacher) would not lead the sing-along. She has been leading the sing-along since 1978. So, long story short, there will beno 2014 christmas sing-along this year because all the Christians have their panties in a wad over not getting to sing "<a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Away_in_a_Manger" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Away in a Manger">Away in a Manger</a>". Can you believe it? I couldn't make this s&*($t up if I tried! <br />
<br />
The next day after the faculty meeting, someone anonymously posted that statement I was silently seething about as I choked down my lunch. First of all, I thought,"What a coward!!" The person who posted those words did not have the balls to SIGN THEIR NAME. They are cramming Christianity down everyone's throat and they are too chicken to admit who they are.<br />
<br />
Then I thought,"What a moron!" This unknown person, who is an educator with at least a bachelor's degree, does not even know the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Christmas">history of Christmas</a>. Either they don't know, or they don't care, or maybe both. Whatever suits their agenda is what they're going with, obviously. Christmas originally had nothing whatsoever to do with Jesus. It started out as the pagan Roman holiday honoring the god <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturnalia" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Saturnalia">Saturnalia</a>. And Saturnalia, I think, piggy-backed on the previous thousand years of celebrating the winter solstice. Someone with a brain the size of a pea would know that there is no historical recording of Jesus's birthdate. He was not born on December 25th. We don't know for sure that he even existed. In fact, Saturnalia was a very lawless celebration that included drinking and gambling and running around naked in the streets. History implies that humans were often sacrificed during Saturnalia to appease the gods of darkness.<br />
<br />
I really, really wanted to erase the statement altogether from the whiteboard. Or, I wanted to write, "Who wrote this?" out beside it and dare them to reveal themselves. Or, I wanted to post a history of Christmas that would include the information that<br />
<br />
"because of its known pagan origin, Christmas was banned by the Puritans and its <a href="http://www.simpletoremember.com/vitals/Christmas_TheRealStory.htm#_ftnref3" target="_blank">observance was illegal in Massachusetts between 1659 and 1681</a>.<br />
<br />
<span class="pullquote">Merry Christmas!<br />
<br />
(notice, I said CHRISTMAS,<br />
<br />
not holidays!!)</span>But, I just sat there and stewed. I do admire my boss for standing up for our student's and staff's rights to not have one religion shoved in their faces during the holidays. I wondered what my principal thought about that being written in apublic place. I decided to write her a personal thank-you note.<br />
<br />
I came real close to writing out beside the hateful(in my opinion) words: "Happy Hannukah!" I also wanted to write that while"Merry Christmas" excludes billions of people in the world from well wishes--thetwo small, simple words "<a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Holiday_greetings" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Holiday greetings">Happy Holidays</a>" include everyone.Happy Holidays is respectful and accepting of all faiths, andhow can anybody find fault with THAT?!! How can that be construed as a BAD thing?!!<br />
<br />
The ignorance is mind-blowing. Sometimes I want to pinch myself and wonder if I'm really living in the twenty-first century. Oh, butI'm not---I'm living in the freaking <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible_Belt" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Bible Belt">Bible-Belt</a>, and I am reminded of it daily by people who aresupposedly well-educated, intelligent human beings. People who can't understand that the world andthe culture is moving forward and they are missing the bus to the future. Hopefully a future where hate and ignorance and disrespect of other human beings will be a thing of the past; a future where religious myths will no longer excuse bad behavior in all its insidious forms.<br />
<br />
I try, truly, to understand these religious bigots and I attempt not to hate and villify them and demonize them (although apparently I'm not above making fun of them). As a non-theist <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Unitarian_Universalism" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Unitarian Universalism">Unitarian Universalist</a>, I believe in the worth and dignity of all humans beings, but these people are putting that tenet to the test in my heart of hearts. Where andwhen do we draw the line?<br />
<br />
Tomorrow when Iget to work, I'm going straight to the lunchroom to see if that statement is still posted on theboard. If it is, I'm asking who wrote it, AND I'm signing my name to my inquiry. It's the least I can do, don't you think? The time for silence, I believe, is past. It's time for rational thought to challenge ancient mythology, especially in the halls of our educational institutions. I am sick andtired of Christians acting like they are so marginalized and persecuted. What about the rest of us?<br />
<br />
If I'm not part of the solution, I am part of the problem, and that is unacceptable to me. I can only effect change in my miniscule sphereof influence---I understand that. But, maybe, just maybe, with one whiteboard statement at a time, I can make my voice heard. I can advocate for inclusiveness and rationality and love and acceptance. It's a start, anyway.... Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-81083525275445233272014-10-26T07:33:00.002-04:002014-11-05T19:43:08.461-05:00On the night that Jesus was born... <i>Carolyn Hyppolite ~ </i><br />
<br />
<span class="dropcap">T</span>hink about any nativity you have passed by around Christmas, what are the components? Mary adoringly staring at her son, Joseph standing behind her oozing with paternal confidence, farm animals surrounding the humble Jesus, Shepherds on bended knee, and wise men bearing gifts.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container zemanta-img" style="float: right; margin-right: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Nativity_Church15.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: clear:right;"><img alt="English: The Church of the Nativity in Bethleh..." border="0" class="zemanta-img-inserted zemanta-img-configured" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/9/90/Nativity_Church15.jpg/350px-Nativity_Church15.jpg" height="262" style="border: none; font-size: 0.8em;" width="350" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption zemanta-img-attribution" style="text-align: center; width: 350px;">The Church of the Nativity in Bethlehem, supposedly the place of Jesus' birth (Photo credit: <a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Nativity_Church15.jpg" target="_blank">Wikipedia</a>)</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
As a Christian, you assume that is one part of one coherent Biblical account. As you read the Gospels, you forget the details from Matthew that are not found in the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gospel_of_Luke" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Gospel of Luke">Gospel of Luke</a> and vice versa. The Christmas Crèche is a compilation of stories that reflects none of stories reflected in the Bible and that’s just the beginning of the problems found in <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nativity_of_Jesus" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Nativity of Jesus">the Nativity</a> narrative.<br />
<br />
Neither Mark nor John’s Gospel report a nativity story. This is odd given the important events that allegedly surrounds Jesus’s birth. First, he was born of a virgin—that doesn’t happen everyday; it’s news. Secondly, Jesus’s birth is accompanied by a massacre of newborn males; that’s if it bleeds, it leads news. Why would Mark and John leave out such important details? The most obvious explanation is that they simply were not aware of it.<br />
<br />
Matthew’s infancy narrative begins with Jesus born in the time of Herod in Bethlehem (Matt 2:1). There are <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biblical_Magi" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Biblical Magi">wise men from the East</a> who want to pay him homage having seen his star rising (Matt 2:2). When Herod hears about this, he is frightened and tries to get the wise men to return with information about the child’s whereabouts (Matt 2:8). God tips them off in a dream not to reveal anything to the king and so they take another way home. (Matt 2:12). An angel of the Lord also tips off Joseph who flees to Egypt (Matt 2:13-15).<br />
<br />
As he does throughout the Gospel, Matthew informs his reader that this fulfills a Hebrew Bible prophecy. As with the previous instances, he misunderstands the text. In this instance he quotes Hosea 11:1 “out of Egypt I called my son.” Read in context, it is abundantly clear that the text has nothing to do with Messianic prophecy. Hosea is referring to Israel and the Exodus. God is lamenting the fact that despite his goodness to Israel—having freed them from bondage—they remain faithless.<br />
<br />
Herod is infuriated by the wise men’s deceit and he orders the slaughter of every male child under the age of two. Again, Matthew misidentifies a prophetic connection, citing Jeremiah 31:15:<br />
<br />
<blockquote>
A voice is heard in Ramah,<br />
lamentation and bitter weeping.<br />
Rachel is weeping for her children;<br />
she refuses to be comforted for her children,<br />
because they are no more.</blockquote>
<br />
This reference is arguably to the destruction of the Northern kingdom and the exile. It has nothing to do with Messianic prophecy.<br />
<br />
I must make a preemptive strike against the claim that Matthew is applying typology—the notion that it is Christ who is prefigured in those texts. There’s no indication from the text that that is how Matthew intended to interpret the Hebrew Bible. He cites them as prophecy and a literal reading of what he wrote is the most intellectually honest way to interpret him.<br />
<br />
In addition, typology is a way that Christians appropriate the Jewish Bible by reading Jesus into passages where he clearly is not to justify their claims that Christ fulfills the Old Testament. Typology, like <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gospel_of_Matthew" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Gospel of Matthew">Matthew’s Gospel</a>, reads the Hebrew Bible out of context.<br />
<br />
There are still greater concerns. This story is strikingly similar to that of another Biblical story, Pharaoh’s order that the Hebrew males be killed (Exod 1:22). In Matthew’s account, just one child is spared—Jesus—by the intervention of God while the others are slaughtered. How likely is it that we live in a universe in which an all-loving, all powerful deity who is capable of sparing the lives of many children only acts to save one child who happens to be his son? Do we even want to live in such a universe?<br />
<br />
Of course, there no historical evidence for this massacre. It occurs no where else in the New Testament. There’s also no record of it outside the Bible. The historian Josephus records about the cruelty of <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Herod_the_Great" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Herod the Great">King Herod</a> but makes no mention of this notable event.<br />
<br />
Which is more probable that no one else thought a King ordering a massacre of children is news? That there is a God who can intervene to save children to be massacred but saves only his son? Or that Matthew, who wants to pattern the life of Jesus on the prophet Moses, and who does not understand the Hebrew prophets, concocts this story?<br />
<br />
When we turn to the Gospel of Luke, we discover other problems. Luke also places Jesus’s birth during the reign of Herod but he has other concerns. Luke starts out with the couple being in Nazareth but he needs to get them to Bethlehem. He records that there was a census called for by the governor Quirinius, which required that all everyone in the Empire return to their ancestral homeland (Luke 2:1-4).<br />
<br />
Luke says,” Joseph also went from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to the city of David called Bethlehem, because he was descended from the house and family of David” (2:4). This, the link between Bethlehem and the house of David, not history, is what the Gospel writer is really interested in. The census is simply a tool to get Jesus, the Nazarene, born in Bethlehem.<br />
<br />
Thus, Joseph takes Mary to Bethlehem where she gives birth to Jesus. In Luke’s account, there are no wise men, no Herod ordering mass murder. This is where we get the shepherds adoring (Luke 2:6-20).<br />
<br />
<span class="pullquote">An historian can make mistakes. [...] However, a historian who is being inspired by a divine being ...</span>However, Matthew and Luke’s nativity story conflict in a more critical way. Indeed, there was a census which occurred during Quirinius’s legateship (6-7 C.E.). This is well after the reign of Herod who died in 4 BCE. If Jesus was born under legateship of Quirinius, as Luke claims, he was not born during the time of Herod, as Matthew claims. There might have been other censuses, perhaps, one under the kingship of Herod but not the one that Luke refers to.<br />
<br />
An historian can make mistakes. He can neglect to mention important events. He can get dates wrong. However, a historian who is being inspired by a divine being should be immune to these frailties. Of course, it’s never okay to just make stuff up.Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-61131914057041322302013-12-22T03:59:00.002-05:002014-01-03T06:22:22.079-05:00Finding new meaning in Christmas<i>By Christina H ~ </i><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPXPNHcQqb9DEV5e45khp8Uk_60U6YHec_rvdCI-knwzc90nBioKBgZuCEZSqC2997UL3SVIa8ztIornjkZprE2Lw5ElmKYalJ3C5e5uFsSI4NyuNXgy-3SfE5VV1uzIhLmE3HyMFFfH0/s1600/giftexchange.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgPXPNHcQqb9DEV5e45khp8Uk_60U6YHec_rvdCI-knwzc90nBioKBgZuCEZSqC2997UL3SVIa8ztIornjkZprE2Lw5ElmKYalJ3C5e5uFsSI4NyuNXgy-3SfE5VV1uzIhLmE3HyMFFfH0/s320/giftexchange.JPG" width="320" /></a></div><span class="dropcap">A</span>t this time of year I listen to <a href="http://youtu.be/fCNvZqpa-7Q" target="_blank">Tim Minchin’s </a><a href="http://www.blogger.com/null" target="_blank">‘White Wine in the Sun’</a> over and over again. It’s on my Christmas playlist twice.<br />
<br />
<blockquote><a href="http://youtu.be/fCNvZqpa-7Q" target="_blank">"I really like Christmas</a><br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/fCNvZqpa-7Q" target="_blank">It’s sentimental I know</a><br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/fCNvZqpa-7Q" target="_blank">But I just really like it."</a></blockquote><br />
Because I do. Almost in spite of myself. When I realised four years ago that I was no longer a Christian, an atheist even, I had to reorganise so many of my attitudes about life. There were so many questions to answer: What can I tell people about why I stopped attending church? Is it possible to avoid aggrieving the people I love? How do I make my parents understand that this is not a decision motivated by booze and sex? I worked through my questions, slowly, and then suddenly Christmas was upon me.<br />
<br />
I hadn’t anticipated it, but this was one of the Hard Things to Deal With. Christmas had always been one of my favourite times of year, so deeply invested in meaning, but now all of that meaning had been ripped away from me. This favourite holiday was suddenly painful. In the past I had loved decorating and playing Christmas carols, but now the Christmas carols taunted me with a baby Messiah I couldn’t believe in and a promise of peace that rang hollow.<br />
<br />
Throughout the month of December, not a day went by without me facing the impossible question: what is Christmas supposed to mean now? And then Christmas came. And I still really liked it.<br />
<br />
<blockquote><a href="http://youtu.be/3lOU3EdtUrQ" target="_blank">"I’m looking forward to Christmas</a><br />
<a href="http://youtu.be/3lOU3EdtUrQ" target="_blank">Though I’m not expecting a visit from Jesus."</a></blockquote><br />
This year, I think I have finally put my finger on what it is that I still love about Christmas. I mean, there is obvious appeal in getting together with the people you love and in cheerful music and in pretty decorations in cosy colours and in delicious food, but none of that is what has invested my post-Christian Christmases with meaning. There is pretty much near-universal appeal in messages of peace and stories in which a hero is destined to make the world right but I don’t really believe in those things, so they aren’t invested in meaning for me either.<br />
<br />
Here is what makes Christmas meaningful for me:<br />
<br />
The exchange of gifts.<br />
<br />
I know. It sounds so capitalist, so buying-right-in-to-commercialisation, so contrary to the ONE thing people of all creeds and none can get together on when it comes to Christmas: the commercial aspect of it is excessive and far too many people spend far too much money on junk at Christmastime. But hear me out.<br />
<br />
As I clicked through to the fifth article I read this week about the evils of gift-giving traditions, something in me went ‘Screw you.’ Screw you and your advice to agree not to exchange gifts with family, or to Spend Quality Time as my gift to them, or to make the same cookies for everyone to save money and to spare me the Stress of Buying the Wrong Thing.<br />
<br />
I really like buying gifts for my family and receiving them in return, and you can stop being all Holier Than Thou because you consider yourself Above gift-giving traditions.<br />
<br />
Sure, gift giving isn’t for everyone but it is for *us*. For many people t is an unnecessary stressful obligation, but gift giving is part of how my family does relationships. When people complain about the evils of gift-giving traditions, I can’t help thinking they’re doing it wrong. It’s like buying spam and some tinned cranberry sauce for Christmas dinner and complaining about how unsatisfying the Christmas-dinner tradition is. If you don’t care to go to the effort of preparing a grand meal that’s fine, but don’t complain that Christmas dinners are soulless and an inconvenient obligation. Do Christmas whichever way best suits you.<br />
<br />
Here is why gift-giving is so important to me:<br />
<br />
Growing up, we didn’t have very much. Our parents couldn’t afford to give us things we wanted throughout the year (necessities were expensive enough) but at Christmas they always surprised us with how much they had managed to scrape together to answer our heart’s desires. They were always thoughtful in what they bought us, and I pitied my friends whose well-off parents simply bought whatever some retail assistant had told them the kids were crazy about this year. While they got impersonal ipods, I got books by my favourite authors, brain-teasing games, clothing I had mentioned a liking for in passing.<br />
<br />
Now that I am grown up and participate in gift giving, my family still practices thoughtful gift giving. We are a broken family now, in more ways than one: my parents are divorced, I am an atheist while the rest are still devoted Christians with varying levels of commitment to church, my sister is married and has a whole family-in-law which has nothing to do with the rest of us. We have so many differences. But on this one day a year we all get together and exchange gifts. Our gifts say things we don’t know how to express in words. They say:<br />
<br />
I care about you enough to know what your interests are. I know we have differences but I respect you enough to get you something you want rather than something I think you should have. I accept whoever you choose to love and bring into our family and I care about you enough to learn their interests and get them something too. I love you. It’s a difficult thing to communicate, sometimes, but here is a token of that love.<br />
<br />
This is our Christmas peace, the grace that we extend to each other. We are no longer united by name or by faith, we were never united by aspirations or passions, but we extend acceptance and respect and warm attachment. It is wrapped in green and red paper and decorated with bows.<br />
<br />
<iframe align="middle" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/fCNvZqpa-7Q?rel=0" width="560"></iframe>Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-4497251557302539022013-12-22T03:37:00.003-05:002015-06-06T10:21:29.326-04:00What really happened in the field that night...<i>By slave2six ~ </i><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEpMVEOzH1yV-U1BFVTf0HqCme-rZb4EhvHGT17kCc9lL7w_VBkxZMcDcQtZ2TzeZudlLMfurBT6OcX3bphtBv11Bd-eX7EyTWhxQoZt21pstvpCJUr1-b4rvq3_AlCQ976T48tSWqF7U/s1600/annunciation_shepherds+Nicoleas+Bag.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEpMVEOzH1yV-U1BFVTf0HqCme-rZb4EhvHGT17kCc9lL7w_VBkxZMcDcQtZ2TzeZudlLMfurBT6OcX3bphtBv11Bd-eX7EyTWhxQoZt21pstvpCJUr1-b4rvq3_AlCQ976T48tSWqF7U/s400/annunciation_shepherds+Nicoleas+Bag.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>
<span class="dropcap">S</span>adly, the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heavenly_host" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Heavenly host">Heavenly Host</a> was lost. They were, after all, from <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heaven" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Heaven">Heaven</a> and had no knowledge of Earthly topography.<br />
<br />
Today was the big day and they were supposed to sing for the new child when he arrived. It was going to be a spectacular event and all of <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bethlehem" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Bethlehem">Bethlehem</a> would be astounded.<br />
<br />
But they were lost.<br />
<br />
And it was getting late.<br />
<br />
"Hey, Hend-el! You better hurry up angel! We have midnight mass duty tonight and you know we can't be late."<br />
<br />
"Shut up. Of course I know."<br />
<br />
"Remember when <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lucifer" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Lucifer">Lucifer</a> was late and God told him he was being rebellious?"<br />
<br />
"Yes. Now will you shut up?"<br />
<br />
"He threw Lucifer and his entire choir out of Heaven."<br />
<br />
"Alright already!"<br />
<br />
Hand-el was metaphysically sweating. <i>Golly gosh darn it</i>, he thought.<br />
<br />
There, in the distance. A light. Hand-el shot forward like a comet and the choir, who was also getting nervous, followed closely. Ah! People! This was good.<br />
<br />
Hand-el showed himself.<br />
<br />
"I say. Excuse me!"<br />
<br />
The <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shepherd" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Shepherd">shepherds</a> crapped themselves and fell to the ground.<br />
<br />
"Good heavens! Don't do that. Do you know how much trouble I could get in? Stand up for <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blasphemy" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Blasphemy">Christ's sake</a>."<br />
<br />
"Who's Christ?" asked one of the shepherds.<br />
<br />
"Ah! Well, good question. He's the savior. He was born to you this day in the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/City_of_David" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="City of David">city of David</a>. We're sorta looking for him. Do you know of a place called Bethlehem my good man?"<br />
<br />
"Yeah. It's just a couple miles thataway."<br />
<br />
"Lovely! So, were looking for a baby, obviously."<br />
<br />
"Wasse look like?" asked another shepherd.<br />
<br />
"Well, just your basic baby human, I suppose," Hand-el replied.<br />
<br />
One of the angels decided to be helpful, "Yo, Hand. He's wearing swaddling clothes. Says so in the program."<br />
<br />
Hand-el said to the shepherds, "He's wearing swaddling clothes."<br />
<br />
"Well," replied the first shepherd, "he would be wouldn't he? I mean swaddling is what you do to babies isn't it?"<br />
<br />
"Hand! Tell him that the child is lying in a mangler."<br />
<br />
"He's lying in a mangler," Hand-el offered helpfully.<br />
<br />
"A what?"<br />
<br />
"A mangler."<br />
<br />
"Woss that then?"<br />
<br />
Another angel chimed in, "Oi, Hand-el. I think it's a soft G. Manjer. No L."<br />
<br />
"What do you mean Noel?"<br />
<br />
"No. I mean there's no letter L in the word."<br />
<br />
The shepherds, only able to see Hand-el, were a bit flummoxed. "Who you talking to, eh?"<br />
<br />
"Manger!" he shouted. "Do you know what a manger is?"<br />
<br />
"Wut? You mean the trough that the animals eat from?" asked the second shepherd. "Wass a baby doing in a manger?"<br />
<br />
"Oh! I know this one," said the first shepherd. "Remember when Rebekka popped out her fifth brat and they was in the barn? They bunged it into a haystack to keep it warm. I bet it's something like that."<br />
<br />
"This is taking too long. We are so getting thrown out of Heaven," murmured the other angels.<br />
<br />
Hand-el was beside himself. He turned to the choir and was about to ball them out. His hands flew into the air and the entire choir took this as their cue. He started to say, "Will you please just shut the f..." when his hands came down and suddenly the Heavenly Host appeared to the shepherds and sang, "<a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gloria_in_excelsis_Deo" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Gloria in excelsis Deo">Glory to God in the highest</a>..."<br />
<br />
The original score was supposed to last thirty minutes but Hand-el, realizing his mistake and also realizing that he had to cut it short to be back worshipping God in time, cut off the song right after "good will towards men." Consequently, they never got to the part of the song that warned that anyone who decided not to take this whole thing seriously would wind up in a fiery torment.<br />
<br />
The shepherds were dumbfounded.<br />
<br />
The choir disappeared and bolted back to Heaven. Hand-el turned to the shepherds and said, "OK, look fellas. You just go on into Bethlehem and tell the Baby that we showed up and sang to you. Hopefully he won't smite you, or us."<br />
<br />
And so the shepherds left their sheep, looked through every barn in town and found the baby. They had woken half of Bethlehem in the process, what with all the breaking and entering, and had to tell the same story over and over again. They looked particularly shiny, like Moses was reported to have looked when he saw God's backside, which caused people to wonder if they might not just be telling the truth, and so the shepherds avoided arrest.<br />
<br />
They eventually found the right place. When they busted in, Joseph and Mary were snoring. They woke the baby who screamed loudly. This not only woke the parents but freaked out all the horses, donkeys and cattle in the barn. Joseph rose up and slipped on bits of the placenta that one of the cows had been eating and cursed, "<a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Damnation" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Damnation">Goddammit</a>!" Fortunately, God had been constrained by having no vocabulary as a newborn.<br />
<br />
"What do you want?" Joseph demanded.<br />
<br />
"Oh, well," said an exhausted and rather smelly shepherd, "you see, some angels showed up and told us that the savior was born and was in a manger so we've been looking all over the place..."<br />
<br />
Joseph looked at Mary, "Is this what' it's gonna be like? Paparazzi everywhere we go?"<br />
<br />
"May we see the child?" asked another shepherd. Quite a few of the townsfolk were there as well.<br />
<br />
Joseph shrugged. He picked up the child, which wasn't even his after all, and let the people gawk.<br />
<br />
To their credit, none of the people actually recoiled in horror. Newborns aren't beautiful to anyone except the parents, after all.<br />
<br />
And they all returned to their homes, each engaging in the same conversation that ran along the lines of, "That's the messiah? Figures."<br />
<br />
Jews had a very keen sense of their own history.<br />
<br />
<hr />
<br />
Hand-el and his choir made it to midnight mass with just seconds to spare. God on his throne glanced down at Hand-el then gestured to the moondial and smiled grimly.<br />
<br />
<i>Message received</i>, thought Handel. And he led the choir in a particularly sycophantic worship song, which made God happy.<br />
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="height: 15px; margin-top: 10px;">
<img alt="" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=f75ee267-fd01-46e0-a7e7-a4be8a99fedb" style="border: none; float: right;" /></div>
Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-9421671806453755222013-12-14T15:11:00.000-05:002013-12-31T15:07:12.736-05:00Merry Atheist Christmas!<span style="font-size: large;"><b>London’s Atheist Church, the Sunday Assembly, Goes All Out to Celebrate Its First Holiday Season</b></span><br />
<br />
<i>By Valerie Tarico ~ </i><br />
<br />
<a href="http://sundayassembly.com/about/" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img alt="The Nave, Islington" class="alignleft size-medium wp-image-2025" height="201" src="http://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2013/12/the-nave-islington.jpg?w=300" width="300" /></a><span class="dropcap">L</span>ast January, a small Sunday morning gathering in London dubbed “atheist church” by the local press went viral globally. <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pippa_Evans" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Pippa Evans">Pippa Evans</a> and Sanderson Jones, two British comedians, had organized the event in a decommissioned <a class="zem_slink" href="http://www.anglicancommunion.org/" rel="homepage" target="_blank" title="Anglican Communion">Anglican church</a>. They called it “Sunday Assembly,” and described it “like TED for the soul.”<br />
<br />
As Sanderson <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/US/sunday-assembly-godless-service-coming-church/story?id=20421596">puts</a> it, "We wanted to do something like a church for people who don't believe in God," said Sanderson. "Life is such a wonderful thing to have been given -- and frankly, it's as transcendent as any one god. We come from nothing and go to nothing and in between we have these short glazing moments of awareness and consciousness to love and sing and mess up and try again. We should celebrate it."<br />
<br />
Pippa moved away from religion as an adult but missed the ritual and community she had experienced in her youth, while Sanderson noticed that Christmas carol concerts really brought people together and allowed us to experience a togetherness with strangers. Each individually toyed over the years with the idea of a sort-of-church, but without the focus on a supernatural world they didn’t believe in. Then a conversation between the two of them catalyzed it into existence.<br />
<br />
Word got out, and come Sunday, January 6th 2013, the Nave, Islington was bursting at the seams. And then, afterwards, messages started pouring in from around the world: <i>This is what I have wanted, what I’ve been looking for, what we need here</i>. By fall, the two unexpectedly famous comedians had launched an international tour called <a href="http://sundayassembly.com/40dates/">40 Dates and 40 Nights</a> to help kick off similar assemblies in places ranging from Nashville to Brisbane. With the tour wrapping up, both will be back in London this week, and looking forward to their first ever Sunday Assembly holiday celebration. They’re expecting a small crowd of 400. In this interview Pippa talks about their upcoming celebration--and about the wild ride she and Sanderson have been on for the last twelve months.<br />
<br />
<b>As I understand it, you and Sanderson have spent the last month helping to launch Sunday Assemblies around the world. If I were a Christian I might be deeply suspicious. Here we are with “Holly Jolly Snowman” and “<a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Little_Drummer_Boy" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="The Little Drummer Boy">Little Drummer Boy</a>” playing in every store, and you’re rallying atheists! </b><br />
<br />
Pippa: The idea of Sunday Assembly is very much in keeping with the holiday spirit. Our motto is: live better, help often, wonder more. When people ask about starting an assembly in their own community, we tell them that a defining feature of Sunday Assembly is that everyone is welcome, regardless of their beliefs. We don’t believe in God, but that is just a point of departure. What comes next?<br />
<br />
Sunday assemblies are about expressing and experiencing joy and wonder together. They are a place you can go for an hour and just focus on being alive. We celebrate the gifts of life and take time for gratitude—and, of course!—music and cake.<br />
<br />
<b>So you aren’t declaring “War on Christmas”?</b><br />
<br />
Pippa: I love Christmas. It’s an excuse to watch Home Alone. I’ve got the boxed set, all four.<br />
<br />
<b>Ouch.</b><br />
<br />
Pippa: Hey! The first two are pretty good. Number 4 is most painful thing I’ve watched. But it’s a tradition!<br />
<br />
More seriously, I see holidays—any holiday, but especially this time of year—as a great excuse to stop and process and take time with loved ones, to reflect and really see what we have. We can do that with or without a religious context. I myself will go to church on Christmas Eve, to the church I grew up in. It’s the same vicar since I was a kid, and I cherish the familiarity and comfort there. For some people the Christmas story is literally true. For others like me is a beautiful myth. It’s a lovely story, and timeless. Like Noah and his ark. It’s a great story whether or not you believe literally, and even Christians are in disagreement about that. Sometimes, I wonder, in 200 years will it be like <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jason_and_the_Argonauts_%281963_film%29" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Jason and the Argonauts (1963 film)">Jason and the Argonauts</a>?<br />
<br />
<b>What makes it lovely for you?</b><br />
<br />
Pippa: It’s about a baby being born and bringing peace. It’s about hope.<br />
<br />
<b>Some people would say it’s about a baby coming in to the world to be a human sacrifice.</b><br />
<br />
Pippa: When I think of the nativity what I most remember is being cross that I didn’t get to be Mary. The story brings back happy memories of childhood. I don’t have a horrible religious background that makes me react badly. Doing Sun Assemblies has made me aware of how people react differently to these things. I had to go on this trip to really understand why Americans can be so prickly about religion. These issues are much more conflicted in the U.S. We spoke to people in America who can’t even say they are an atheist because they are afraid of losing their job or family. We can’t even imagine that here because the UK is so highly secular. <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Atheists" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="American Atheists">American Atheists</a> and the humanist associations are fighting the fight for rights and visibility for atheists and they do an amazing job. Sunday Assembly is, however, more of a celebration and if we're fighting for anything, it's for community.<br />
<br />
<b>So let’s talk about the community you are building. What do the holidays mean for Sunday Assemblies?</b><br />
<br />
Pippa: I can’t speak in specifics for the 40 communities we visited over our 40 day tour, but all of the Sunday Assemblies are doing something. In Melbourne, for example, they’re having a celebration they’re calling Festivus, complete with <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mariah_Carey" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Mariah Carey">Mariah Carey</a> songs.<br />
<br />
<b>What is your home congregation in London doing for the holidays?</b><br />
<br />
Pippa: We’re celebrating! We’re expecting about 400 people. It’s this Sunday, and we’re calling it Wonderland. We’ll be singing Christmas songs and wearing Christmas jumpers. We talked long and hard about whether we would sing Christian carols, but that would make some uncomfortable, and there are loads of places you can do that if you want, so we’ll stick with other music. “Fairy Tale of New York,” for example. Do you know it? We have to change some of the words because they’re quite rude—not very appropriate for small children. It's amazing how many songs have cheeky lyrics when you look a bit closer!<br />
<br />
<b>Tell me more.</b><br />
<br />
Pippa: Like always, we have a band and a choir. We’ll have a speaker talking about feasting together—the history of feasting. We’ll have a poet do some poems. We’ll have a magician to entertain the kiddies. Afterwards comes the actual feasting. We sent around a sign-up sheet last time and about 60 people signed up to have Christmas dinner together at a pub. And of course we made sure there was extra room so no one would show up in the morning and end up in the cold because they didn’t know!<br />
<br />
<b>Who pulls this all together? You and Sanderson? </b><br />
<br />
Pippa: Well, Emma runs the choir. There are twelve in the choir, and she picks the songs. Roger runs the seven person band. Carolien pulls it all together. She’s Dutch and wonderfully direct; and she makes a spreadsheet of who does what. Beth does the tea on the day. Cat and Nick organised the Christmas dinner. Plus around seven million volunteers.<br />
<br />
<b>Tea, not coffee? I’m from Seattle. Where’s the coffee??! </b><br />
<br />
Pippa: We always have tea and cake after. As like Victoria sponge cake. Flap jacks—I think they’re like your granola bars. Cupcakes. We’re very like the Anglican Church in that regard. (laughs) People come for the free tea and cake. The tea is really nice because people stay for tea and then start talking. We have volunteers who are conversation fairies. They make sure that people who come on their own aren’t left standing awkwardly alone. You know how British people are.<br />
<br />
The holidays also are a time for giving. The Salvation Army looks after the entire homeless community. I mean, not the whole of it, obviously, but you know what I'm saying. We should be doing that as well! So we’re doing a collection for <a href="http://www.crisis.org.uk/pages/our-christmas-wishlist.html">Crisis for Christmas</a>, a hostel for homeless people. We’ll collect you-know -- roll-on deodorant, toothbrushes, clothing, tins of food—things homeless people run out of. We’ll drop it all Monday at the depot. Also, we’ve got a mystery benefactor who has promised to match any <a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/godless-congregations-for-all-the-sunday-assembly-global-platform">donations</a> for the last few days of our 40 in 40 drive. That person doubles all donations and will give an equal amount to the Against Malaria Foundation.<br />
<br />
<b>That sounds like the holiday spirit all right! So what comes after the holidays? </b><br />
<br />
Pippa: The next London assembly is January 5. Our speaker is Alom Shaha who writes the <a href="http://alomshaha.com/the-young-atheists-handbook/">Young Atheists Handbook.</a><br />
<br />
<b>That sounds like an ant-theist thing. </b><br />
<br />
Pippa: Actually not.<b> </b>We make sure to tell speakers that they aren’t allowed to bash religion. He’s talking about diversity.<br />
<br />
For the New Year, we have events scheduled through April. The first Sunday of each month is assembly. The second Sunday is community action day. We have a community action team of four people who plan the second Sunday actions. January 12 we’re going to work with Hackney Pirates, a group that helps young people who are having trouble in school. We’ll be decorating the learning room as a pirate ship.<br />
<br />
<b>This whole godless congregation thing has taken off so fast, I want to understand the magic a little more. Remind me how it all got started. When was the first conversation between you and Sanderson?</b><br />
<br />
<span class="pullquote">We’ll have a speaker talking about feasting together—the history of feasting. We’ll have a poet do some poems. We’ll have a magician to entertain the kiddies. Afterwards comes the actual feasting.</span>Pippa: It was about two and half years ago. We were in a car going on a tour gig and we started talking about my wedding because I wanted a traditional feeling wedding but not in a church, so we got married in an old time music hall and played Beatles songs instead of hymns and it felt great. It had some of the pomposity of a wedding. (laughs) Then we talked about how we didn’t like it when comedians made fun of Christians for believing in God, and then we talked about atheist church, and one thing led to another.<br />
<br />
<b>Did you think it would turn into something real? </b><br />
<br />
Pippa: You know how it is when you say <i>let’s go jogging tomorrow morning</i>? You actually have to haul your butt out of bed. Once you say it to another person, you can’t back out. We thought we get 50 people for that first meeting, and we got over 200.<br />
<br />
<b>Has the Sunday Assembly project taken over your life?</b> <b>How can you stay on top of all this and still earn a living?</b><br />
<br />
Pippa: (laughs). I’m right now in Brighton doing a comedy show tonight. But I’ve spent all day emailing, sorting things out. And now I’ve been on the phone with you for 45 minutes!<br />
<br />
It has been a thin year financially. The <a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/godless-congregations-for-all-the-sunday-assembly-global-platform">Indiegogo campaign</a> will let us cover expenses and perhaps a thin wage. This year Sanderson had some ad work, but that’s not ongoing. We just have to find a way to make it sustainable, that’s all.<br />
<br />
<b>How has the fact you and Sanderson are comedians affected the shape of it all?</b><br />
<br />
Pippa: I think a lot of the success is that we know how to put together a show on a shoestring. We can make it entertaining on the cheap because we’ve had <i>many years</i> of doing that. For example, the talk is 10-15 minutes. The timing is based on stand-up comedy where the perfect set, some say is 15 minutes as after that, people start to drift off. We suggest that groups forming Sunday Assemblies stick with our format for three months because we know it works. As they go along, they can decide, well in Portland we want one song and two seven-minute speakers and a singing giraffe. They can play around with it after they’ve nailed.<br />
<br />
Sometimes people think that because we’re comedians, we’re not serious. Also, we’re both outsiders to organized atheism, so some people asked, who are these guys? Are they denying the work that the atheist community has done? Other just dismissed us: it’s two comedians being stupid. It’s nothing.<br />
<br />
But we are both very playful and totally serious. We did a Remembrance Day assembly –for people who died in the war. It was really serious, somber in tone but still, in another sense joyful. The joy comes in really recognizing and experiencing the gift of life. It always comes back to that.<br />
<br />
Here in London, we have a thing we do sometimes—Sanderson gets credit--where if you’re in a grump you just choose things and say thank you to no-one. Thank you road for being a place that cars can move, thank you tree for working as a carbon dump, thank you hair for behaving today. The attitude of gratitude gets your head out of that funk. It sounds ridiculous unless you try it, but it works. In the Sunday gathering we’ve done it a few times where people just speak up and express gratefulness for whatever and to whatever.<br />
<br />
<b>What is your big dream?</b><br />
<br />
Pippa: When we started I was thinking just in terms of London. It hadn’t crossed my mind that global would be coming, let alone so soon. But seeing the response, and what is possible, my dream has changed. I would love for there to be hundreds of Sunday assemblies (and other godless congregations). My dream is that everybody who wants one has a place where they can go and reflect and think, a place of positivity and encouragement, where they can express wonder and joy, not just in the holiday season but all year long.<br />
<br />
<hr /><br />
<i>Valerie Tarico is a psychologist and writer in Seattle, Washington. She is the author of <a href="http://astore.amazon.com/exchrisnetenc-20/detail/0977392937">Trusting Doubt: A Former Evangelical Looks at Old Beliefs in a New Light</a> and <a href="http://www.theoracleinstitute.org/deas">Deas and Other Imaginings</a>, and the founder of <a href="http://www.wisdomcommons.org/">www.WisdomCommons.org</a>. Subscribe to her articles at <a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/">Awaypoint.Wordpress.com</a>. </i><br />
<br />
<b>Related:<br />
<br />
<a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/2009/01/09/ancient-mythic-origins-of-the-christmas-story/">Ancient Mythic Origins of the Christmas Story</a></b><br />
<br />
<a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/2008/12/12/is-it-ok-to-celebrate-christmas-even-if-you%e2%80%99re-not-a-christian/"><b>Is it Ok to Celebrate Christmas Even If You're Not a Christian?</b></a><br />
<br />
<b><a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/2010/12/14/celebrating-love-and-light-10-holiday-tips-for-the-post-religious/">Celebrating Love and Light: Ten Holiday Tips for the Post Religious</a><br />
<br />
<a href="http://awaypoint.wordpress.com/2012/12/11/twelve-christmas-traditions-even-a-black-hearted-grinch-of-an-atheist-can-celebrate/" rel="bookmark">12 Christmas Traditions That Aren’t About God or Shopping</a></b> <br />
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="height: 15px; margin-top: 10px;"><img alt="" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=7aaa61f9-8d9b-4602-ad5b-91afc68c6257" style="border: none; float: right;" /></div>Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-43068211643145006572013-12-08T18:43:00.001-05:002013-12-19T04:55:25.563-05:00The Life of Chri<i>By Carl S. ~ </i><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFq8DPCfDDJDdDnJlB_ZjlJOXldwsYWqw-JHZtd3qboN2af2wJZ1E5TYJZkNyGCjg0q-s0rw6tOp1FYTqSdQiqDNGdUSFmxbRH3Lqj_TMMECz13l5nC2xNPrisn-MYM5HRJcpxItXisWA/s1600/i-wonder-as-i-wander.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjFq8DPCfDDJDdDnJlB_ZjlJOXldwsYWqw-JHZtd3qboN2af2wJZ1E5TYJZkNyGCjg0q-s0rw6tOp1FYTqSdQiqDNGdUSFmxbRH3Lqj_TMMECz13l5nC2xNPrisn-MYM5HRJcpxItXisWA/s400/i-wonder-as-i-wander.png" width="328" /></a></div>
<span class="dropcap">O</span>nce upon a time in the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Middle_East" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Middle East">Middle East</a>, home to almost every nutty religion, a child was allegedly born of a virgin who was no longer a virgin after he was born, so what‘s the point? Like other gods before him...yawn. It was claimed that this boy would be the earthly presence of an all-powerful deity, packed into his tiny, diaper-rash body.<br />
<br />
He was to be a long awaited messiah. (You'd be amazed how many messiahs there have been in history - even <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tribe_%28Native_American%29" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Tribe (Native American)">American Indian tribes</a> had their messiah, to redeem them from you-guess-who.) He was supposed to free the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jews" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Jews">Jewish people</a> from the Romans who occupied their land. A lot of godly claims were made about him; a tremendous amount of hope rode on his potential. And the greatest news ever imparted to humans by a god. So what went wrong? Because, for all of his alleged potential, he did a piddling amount of good, and a lot of harm.<br />
<br />
This god-man, who was supposed to know everything already, was educated as, and became, a rabbi. Which means that he learned to read and write. Now, writing gives you power. And when there are important matters that MUST be imparted, really, really, important things you want to communicate, you are compelled to write them down in a way that leaves no room for misunderstanding. This guy NEVER did. Instead, he left it up to the dunderheads who would write decades later. (Nobody knows who they were; maybe they were macho guys trying to upstage each other with ever more elaborate b.s. Talk about tradition!)<br />
<br />
Here is a man whose lifespan is claimed to be around 33 years. Not a great span in which to get so much done, but hey! Make the most of it. It must have been unbearable, itching to get out there. So what does he do but spend the majority of those years in obscurity! He didn't “come out” until he was 30, at which time, it is alleged, he got VERY busy performing “miracles” (unauthenticated by historians at the time, of course), like bringing back a rotting corpse from the dead, and healing people suffering from psychologically caused illnesses. If you follow the texts about what he did, he did very little, considering his promised potential. And, he failed to bail out the Jewish people it was claimed he came to save. They waited hundreds of years for THIS?<br />
<br />
And what about the great messages he had for humankind? Don't get me started, you know? Which is why nobody except the mentally disturbed would follow his commands, or even his recommendations! And even in reading the stuff he‘s alleged to have said, it isn’t communicated clearly. And then he got mad when the people closest to him didn't “get it” the first time.<br />
<br />
What he WAS successful at was pissing off the rabbinical leaders, by being a know-it-all heretic who constantly criticized and ridiculed them. If he knew what he was supposed to know, he would have realized that this would come to no happy ending. Sounds like he had a powerful death wish. So, he did set one good example: DON’T do as he did, unless you have a martyr-complex. Pretty bad. Bad enough for not mere imprisonment, but execution, and the worst kind available at the time. The voice in his head told him this was the BEST way to save mankind from whatever he was saving them from.<br />
<br />
So, just what is this man's claim to fame? Well, it's claimed that he came back from the dead, like gods before him did. Take it from the people who wrote DECADES after this “all-important event,” who got their info hearsay; information so reliable (read the witnesses‘ testimonies yourself), that it would be laughed at, and NEVER allowed in any court of the land today.<br />
<br />
Now, you might logically conclude that if a man actually came back from the dead, he would have unlimited time to do good. No weapons would stop him. He could go back to those who had him killed and say, “Ha ha. Now what do you think of me? I'm going to let the WHOLE WORLD know that what I claimed is true. Hey, look me over! No doubt at all!” But no - he disappears!!! (This makes sense, insofar as the rest of his story makes sense.)<br />
<br />
This December 25th, you may hear an American folk hymn titled “<a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/I_Wonder_as_I_Wander" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="I Wonder as I Wander">I Wonder as I Wander</a>.” In its second line are the words, “How Jesus our savior was born for to die.” At a concert of <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_music" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Christmas music">Christmas music</a> once, an intellectual was asked what he thought about the gospel <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nativity_of_Jesus" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Nativity of Jesus">nativity story</a>. He said, “It would be a beautiful story, if it were true.” No - this story would be a <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Horror_fiction" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Horror fiction">horror story</a>, if it were true. This child was predestined to be murdered, his life of no more value than that of sheep, cattle, or any other livestock. One wonders why he wasn't aborted as he was born, if his death is the purpose-driven reason for his birth.<br />
<br />
There is a little known fact you need to be aware of: Paul’s epistles were written BEFORE these gospel accounts of the life of this man, and Paul doesn't even mention the alleged “miracles,” sayings, and commandments described in the gospels. First came Jesus’ bright idea that, like chromosomes, the immoral acts of parents are inherited by the children, generation after generation! And that somebody had to DIE in order to stop that from continuing! So, the writers fit this concept to their story as the primary reason for their hero's existence. The gospel writers cooked up this life story AFTER Paul came out with his visionary version. (A.P.?)<br />
<br />
What actual “legacy” remains, even today, from this man’s life and teachings? Well, one is that in order for good to be achieved, harm must first be done; the greater the harm, the greater the good achieved: the more exacting the sacrifice (such as, for example, killing your own child), the more powerful the good resulting from it becomes: that Higher Powers require greater sacrifices to appease them: that ultimate destruction results in ultimate blessedness. And not only this, but everything one values, such as family, property, fidelity to one's spouse, family members, and personal responsibilities are to be sacrificed for the sake of the leader, because the end of the world is coming soon, and it‘s only the “afterlife” that matters. If you can‘t believe this, you‘ll be tormented forever. This is the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Good_News_%28Christianity%29" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Good News (Christianity)">good news</a>.<br />
<br />
As a biography, well, it's not worthy of publication. The man left no writings, did not live up to expectations, and had no flexibility. But, he did have a short temper, unrealistic expectations for humans (like other cult leaders, before and after him), and forced others to assist him in his suicide. And, he failed to come back “soon,” as he constantly assured everyone he would, to take everyone to his promised land. What a terrible, terrible resume, and a very bad role model.<br />
<br />
The good news is: it's fiction, though bad fiction.<br />
<br />
Cause for celebration? I call it “The Life of Chri,” because it makes you want to cry.<br />
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="height: 15px; margin-top: 10px;">
<img alt="" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=d93917ce-d8ca-4df1-857d-b4f126c777b3" style="border: none; float: right;" /></div>
Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-80291169254664513362012-12-22T03:33:00.002-05:002013-01-01T12:09:52.059-05:00Merry Whatever!<i>By Pantophobia ~ </i><br />
<br />
<span class="dropcap">D</span>ear Whiny Christians*,<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: right;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz4zYQF6aZyvxNQUWdMcinPsqaCbAl1o2l5XNR3oBwZNnvKTJ9b1DyKlQh09qCKFq-fijGNbbnJiIMci9S5T8Ws95b1NWDn4IwG5ee7TcnsGooxhMxIvGaf9er5FWJ7-qZetOQbMGwysU/s1600/War+on+Christmas+II.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="218" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgz4zYQF6aZyvxNQUWdMcinPsqaCbAl1o2l5XNR3oBwZNnvKTJ9b1DyKlQh09qCKFq-fijGNbbnJiIMci9S5T8Ws95b1NWDn4IwG5ee7TcnsGooxhMxIvGaf9er5FWJ7-qZetOQbMGwysU/s320/War+on+Christmas+II.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
There is no “<a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christmas_controversy" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Christmas controversy">War on Christmas</a>.” I know Bill O'Reilly has insisted otherwise. I know that Rush has kept you all whipped up, and the AFA and the Million Moms (give or take several hundred thousand) have almost daily updates of the atrocities committed upon your sacred holiday. But years into your annual tradition of false persecution, it's time to look at the information in front of us all. Let's see what is really being served on your holiday table and mine.<br />
<br />
Frankly, I'm not the only one who is sick of having you acting like you are victims of something tragic. You are not being “persecuted” for your faith. No one is trying to “destroy” anything. No one is preventing you or anyone else from celebrating Christmas, and doing it as Jesus-y as you want. In every retail outlet in the country, you can't escape Christmas. You can buy cards and wrapping paper and ornaments all emblazoned with the word in just about any given shop; you can buy Adoration scenes and Jesus-ornaments and manger snow globes at all major retailers, and you don't have to go to a back alley secret “Christmas only!” store to find it. In stores, in restaurants, in your car, you can hear publicly broadcast radio stations that play Christmas music for two solid months, with songs all about Mary and Jesus and God and herald angels and the savior and the holy spirit and Silent Nights and We Three Kings. There are two dozen movies per day airing on cable TV with Jesus-Christmas themes. You can wear your cross necklaces and your “remember the reason for the season” t-shirts. You can put up a Nativity on your front lawn. You can even include the shepherds stabbing Santa Claus and Frosty the Snowman in front of the manger with their hooks and letting their sheep eat the entrails with signs that say “It's about Jesus, not these jackasses!” if you want. Rename the green bean casserole “The Casserole of Christ” if it makes you happy. Bake Jesus a birthday cake instead of serving pumpkin pie. No one is preventing you from any of that at all.<br />
<br />
However, if the suggestion that maybe not everyone in your community celebrates Christmas, or does it the same way you do, makes you apoplectic with rage, then maybe you might be missing the point of Christmas yourself.<br />
<br />
There is no “liberal plot” to take away your holiday. In fact, most “liberals” would firmly advocate your right to celebrate your holiday your way. Nor is this isn't about some agenda of “political correctness” (and really, anyone who has used that phrase in earnest since 1995 hasn't been paying attention). Stop being divisive. Christmas is about love and peace. That's what Jesus was, if you know your bible like you say you do: God's ultimate gift of love, personifying the hope that the world might be united in peace some day. Read those chapters in Matthew again. Heck, even listen to those song lyrics. Why is it so difficult for you to accept that Jesus's message was to be loving and inclusive... and not just to people who share your particular religious beliefs?<br />
<br />
Every year, there are “news” reports with your anecdotal evidence about how crazy people are depriving you of your holiday and ruining everything. EVERYTHING. It's your local news affiliate's ratings grab. The suggestion of anything other than Jesus-cetnric Christmas sends you squealing in fury about “intolerance.” Someone pointing that this country includes Jews, Muslims, Buddhists, agnostics, pagans, Jedi, and Pastafarians makes you froth like rabid dogs. Don't believe me? I'm not making this up. Go to <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fox_News_Channel" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Fox News Channel">Fox News's</a> website and look up all the stories they've tagged “War on Christmas.” Read the comments. Google “War on Christmas.”<br />
<br />
Sorry, Christians. Christmas is not the only holiday celebrated in December. I don't care if you don't like Kwanzaa, or don't get atheists, or are offended by Muslims or Jews. I don't care if Christian rhetoric insists that Christianity SHOULD be the only religion. The fact is, it's not, and that value is one America was built on. And it's not just about religious holidays in December, either: there are also secular celebrations like the winter solstice and the New Year... in other words, “holidays,” plural. Saying “Happy Holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas” isn't some hapless retail drone's attempt to take Jesus away from you. It's acknowledging that people are celebrating a lot of different things, and in different ways. That's also an American value. And if that offends you, you are a spoiled brat, not a true Christian patriot.<br />
<br />
No, Christmas is not the only game in town during this time of year, nor was it always Christmas, either, like you try to claim. Go ahead and try to insist “Christmas came first!” and all the other December holidays are just co-option, and I'll happily serve you an ass-full of history. Argue that the Puritans came to America to be able to celebrate Christmas, and I will point and laugh at you outright. Even if you want to insist that no one but people who believe in Jesus should celebrate Christmas, you are missing centuries of traditions and multicultural history, because, no matter what you think, even Christ's Mass itself isn't just, and has never only been, about Jesus. Spend ten minutes on Wikipedia and you can see that much. Sorry, gang, but Christmas isn't some reward that's earned by believing in Jesus; it's become an intrinsic part of Western culture. You don't get to keep it all for yourself because you don't like people who do it differently.<br />
<br />
You don't want your tax dollars going for healthcare for poor people? Great. I don't want mine going for war or abstinence education or religious-dominant displays that exclude everyone but Christians in state-funded places. However, we don't get to pick and choose where tax money goes. You can, however, point out when “separation of church and state” is lacking. Most atheists don't object to your crosses and mangers. Many of us do, however, object to them being on government property, with state funds, and at the exclusion of non-Christians. And I'm going to hazard a guess that if the city wanted to put up a display honoring Ramadan, you would lose your collective minds. Furthermore, if you can scream about how wrong it is for there to be no Jesus in the schools' history books or for a school to teach sex ed. because that is “against your personal beliefs,” then you damned well better accept that the flip side of that is that some parents don't want their children attending school sponsored Jesus-centric Christmas plays.<br />
<br />
Bottom line is, Christmas is supposed to be a time of peace and love, of giving and hope, hope that even for one day out of the year, all of us disparate groups of people can come together, however briefly, and feel that maybe generosity trumps selfishness. Ironic, isn't it, that every year, Christians from all corners of the US of A are ready to rally around pop culture figures getting ratings for their TV and radio shows, agreeing wholeheartedly that THEIR holiday is better than all those other holidays, and should be the ONLY one allowed, and to THEIR specifications. How many times do Christians, in the name of their religion, insist that anyone who doesn't believe exactly what they believe should not be allowed to have anything to do with Christmas? Read some of those aforementioned op ed pieces or blog things; check out how many times Christians insist “respect our faith!” in the middle of logical fallacies about “you are wrong, there is no Christmas without Jesus!” and “if you don't believe in Jesus, you will burn in hell!” “My way or the highway,” Christians, and all in the name of what is supposed to be a holiday, a holy day, of unselfishness. Go, you guys.<br />
<br />
But okay. If you are still going to stamp your feet and argue that every non-Jesus thing that happens in the month of December is a personal affront to you, then there are many, many options available to you here in America. If you want your children to sing “Away in a Manger” at school pageants, send them to Christian school. If you think that Christmas should be all about Jesus, go ahead and wear that “He the Reason for the Season” pin on your “Happy Birthday, Jesus” sweatshirt. If you want everyone everywhere to celebrate Christmas as the only holiday, and do it the way you do, then do what many Christians have done historically, and go found your next “City on a Hill” someplace away from this godless nation that has disappointed you so. There are plenty of islands, or you can chip in with a bunch of the other “War on Christmas” people and get a decommissioned aircraft carrier and rename it the “SS Jesus is God.” See if O'Reilly will sponsor you.<br />
<br />
Or, better yet, take your own advice: Quit whining.<br />
<br />
Merry Whatever, everyone!<br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;">*Note: Believe me, I know that not all Christians are on board with this “War on Christmas” thing. I know plenty of wonderful Christians who have no problem saying “Happy Christmakwazukkah” or even saying “Merry Christmas” and receiving a “Happy Holidays” in return. I know plenty of wonderful non-Christians who see hope and beauty in a manger scene or “O Holy Night.” The bottom line is, the “War on Christmas” is not only a giant lie, the people who you think are attacking your Jesusness are probably on board with you celebrating however you want.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="pullquote"></span><br />
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="height: 15px; margin-top: 10px;">
<img alt="" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=dc74cd9c-39d6-4ce7-8fab-143d79bc28de" style="border: none; float: right;" /></div>
Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-37272886368460757742012-12-20T06:24:00.002-05:002019-04-09T10:58:02.969-04:00Coping with Religious Family over the Holidays<div style="text-align: right;"></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b>Dealing with Family at Holiday Time</b></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: medium;"><b><br />
</b></span></div><div style="background-color: white; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px;">(This is a chapter from the e-book, <a href="https://www.amazon.ca/Heretic-Holidays-Tips-Religious-Renegades-ebook/dp/B00ATG9ZOW" style="color: #1155cc;" target="_blank"><em>Heretic Holidays: Tips from Two Religious Renegades</em></a>, by Marlene Winell and Valerie Tarico)</div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"></div><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiHEU_4yPjqPPvCKVs9mu62N8FV-sCumIkS6YiF8R3LZluJ764ap5vlU8VOaVRyyJ4Ld070DTIAc2zNQgIXAndlMs2gJ-_ogSj0z7AGQZ-feYVB7lFww3UCMIi-J4d6p4Ba1u47NjaaNA/s1600/christmas-feast.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="233" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhiHEU_4yPjqPPvCKVs9mu62N8FV-sCumIkS6YiF8R3LZluJ764ap5vlU8VOaVRyyJ4Ld070DTIAc2zNQgIXAndlMs2gJ-_ogSj0z7AGQZ-feYVB7lFww3UCMIi-J4d6p4Ba1u47NjaaNA/s320/christmas-feast.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="dropcap">A</span>t this time of year it’s hard to avoid dealing with the differences you have with your family. If you are a “reclaimer” (reclaiming your life after being religious) who has been raised in a religious household, holiday times can be very uncomfortable when other family members are still devout. Having worked through these issues with many clients, here are a few guidelines that might be helpful. <br />
<br />
I’ll start by suggesting you write in a journal, starting now and continuing through the holidays. This can help you sort through jumbled thoughts and emotions, stay on track with how you are trying to handle things, take care of yourself, and learn. There are exercises here to prompt your thinking. <br />
<br />
In general, if you plan to be with family at this time, it helps a great deal to approach the holidays with a high level of consciousness. In other words, don’t just blindly go home for Christmas, hoping it will be fine. What do you really expect it might be like? This refers to both external factors and how you will feel. What experiences have you had so far with your family? What have you found to work or not work in getting along? Write something about this in your journal.<br />
<br />
Sometimes reclaimers simply avoid going home in order to avoid conflict. At times this is the only healthy course of action. But sometimes, by planning ahead, it can be possible to navigate around the land mines. The difference in this approach, compared to simply not showing up, is that you are acting out of reasoned choice and not out of fear or anger. <br />
<br />
In the process of recovering from the harm done by religious indoctrination, most people reach a point at which they must weigh “coming out” as a nonbeliever because the tension of “integrity vs. intimacy” becomes too much. That is, the urge to be true to oneself becomes stronger than the need for approval required to stay close to family members. It does not need to happen right away, and can take a variety of forms. However, holiday time puts pressure on your relationships, and it could raise this question for you. If you haven’t already, spend some time thinking about whether this is the time to come out with family. It may or may not be. There are also degrees of being “out” and probably different family members to consider being more or less open with about your new thoughts and feelings. <br />
<br />
Here’s a basic plan for coping. There are external action items, as well as internal or mental techniques. You may notice a bonus here, which is that there are great lessons to learn that apply to your growth and recovery generally. <br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><b>Preparation</b></div><br />
<b>Clarify Intention</b><br />
<br />
As you think about what you want to do, realize that you do not have an obligation to spend holiday time with family. (What?) If you commit not to do anything out of guilt or obligation, this will make it easier to choose what amount of contact you want and what form it will take. You need to let your parents take responsibility for their own feelings, which are often the result of choices they have made in their own lives. It doesn’t mean you have to be unkind. You can certainly be empathic in your expression, such as, “I know you would like me to be home for Christmas and this is a surprise, and I’m sorry you feel disappointed. At the same time, spending it on my own this year is what I feel is best for me, and I’m hoping you will accept that.” You can also suggest alternative plans for what you think is workable – the number of days, phone contact instead, inviting them to your place, etc. <br />
<br />
If this sounds like you being the grown-up, that’s right. Especially if you are in early stages of recovering from religion, you are learning about taking care of yourself. In the language I use for this, your Adult self is learning to take charge and care for your Child self. You are no longer considering yourself helpless, weak, stupid, or basically bad. You don’t need saving and you don’t need to outsource your needs for guidance and love to a god or church. This is great and freeing; it’s also a big responsibility. When you go visit your parents, your Adult absolutely needs to take good care of your Child. Otherwise, it is all too easy to regress to a childlike state and have problems fairly immediately. <br />
<br />
Let me explain a bit more about this, because this is a powerful coping strategy. Your Adult is the part of you that can think rationally, have intention, and plan ahead. It’s also the part that can nurture and care for your Child self by advocating for your Child’s needs. So, before you even start on this visit, you, as an adult, can think about your Intention for this visit. Do you want it to be a jolly Christmas just like when you were a kid, with Santa and hot chocolate? Are you going to church on Christmas Eve? Why or why not? How will you handle it? Will you be discussing your beliefs? Do you want any religion at all? Why do you want to go? What are you hoping for that is actually possible? What are you willing to let go of that is not possible? Do you want to engage in debates? Will you be “coming out”? If you are asked about who you are now or what you believe, how will you answer? <br />
<br />
<i>Writing exercise: Write out your intentions for your visit.</i><br />
<br />
<b>Self-care</b><br />
<br />
Now, as you know, the best of intentions don’t always work out. That’s why you feel nervous. In the self-care terminology I’m using, it’s your Child that’s scared, and it’s my opinion that your real obligation is to make sure that your Child feels safe, both before and during the visit. (This usage of “Child” refers to the natural, innocent, child-like, emotional aspect of you that requires love and care, and is vulnerable. It was not sinful at birth, and when healed from abusive indoctrination, can be happy and healthy.) This might mean taking breaks in order to self-soothe with some positive self-talk. Ultimately, it would include promising to simply leave if the situation became too uncomfortable. I always explain to my clients that as they are healing, the trust between Adult and Child needs to strengthen, so a good thing is to promise your Child that you will take her/him away if a situation gets bad or painful, just like you would a real child who was struggling. <br />
<br />
Christmas is often a little tender for an inner child since there might be memories of good things, sadness over losses, or confusion at this time. If you spend a little time consulting your Child about what aspects of the holiday you still want to experience, what do you find? Making cookies? Writing cards to family and friends? Singing? Playing in the snow? Cutting paper snow flakes? If you want to avoid the commercialism of too much gift buying, are there substitutes you prefer? If you are not just a victim of the holiday, what might you accept or arrange for your little self to enjoy? Or what would you help others enjoy? For ideas about celebrating and reclaiming the Christmas holiday as a nonbeliever, go <a href="https://awaypoint.wordpress.com/2012/12/11/twelve-christmas-traditions-even-a-black-hearted-grinch-of-an-atheist-can-celebrate/" target="_blank">Here</a> for a new article by Valerie Tarico. <br />
<br />
Imagining various scenarios, what do you think your options might be if you get overwhelmed by your relatives’ religious talk? Can you excuse yourself, take a break, change the subject, focus on something else? Do you need to bring anything along to help? A game or puzzle?<br />
<br />
<i>Writing exercise: Write a letter to your Child from your Adult self, explaining how you will provide protection during the visit, and promising to leave if necessary. Describe the fun things that will be included. Talk about what you will do if you are getting triggered by too much religiosity. Make a list of options you will have ready. </i><br />
<br />
<b>Reframe the Religion</b><br />
<br />
Especially if your family is very devout and authoritarian about their beliefs, you need to have a way of thinking about their religion that is different from the way you did as a child. That may sound obvious because intellectually you have decided you don’t believe any more. However, when in the situation, you may respond emotionally, and even intensely. This is not because you have reverted to “believing” but because you can be triggered at a gut level to fear that it is true. Rethinking this belief system is a larger task of recovery that can take time and work, and is very important. For now, the challenge is to be in your old environment and not slip into being your old self or be intimidated by old forces. You can prepare by thinking about what this religion is – e.g., a belief system like many other ancient systems that has evolved to help people cope with what they don’t understand, a virus, a meme complex, etc. Anything but The Truth. Even if it <i>feels true</i> because everyone around you is treating it like the truth. Hundreds of years ago everyone believed the earth was flat, it looked flat, and it felt flat. But that wasn’t true either. <br />
<br />
Thinking about the <i>religion</i> as the source of the conflict, difference, pain, and separation in your family (or at least part of it), may help you feel less direct anger or frustration with the people involved. As a virus, religion propagates by getting passed on to small children, and continues through generations. Essentially, your parents were infected and thus victims as well. They did not have these religious ideas at birth, and even now, they each have an inner child too (weird, huh?) You were fortunate to escape, and also to be congratulated for finding your way out! A holiday visit is probably not the time to go deep into family work, so I’m not suggesting you look for understanding each other, find forgiveness, or anything else that is complicated. However, just knowing that your family members did not invent this very pernicious system might help you relax and have a bit of compassion. It does mean that you did not suffer or that your issues will not ever be addressed. <br />
<br />
<i>Writing exercise: Before you head for a family get-together, write about how you conceptualize your religion now, and review your reasons for leaving. How does it feel to view your relatives in the context of larger forces? </i><br />
<br />
<b>Communicate clearly with family</b><br />
<br />
After sorting through all your thoughts and feelings, you need to state clearly to your relatives your intentions for your time together. This is before you leave home. I suggest this be done simply and from the heart, and say more, not less. Include all of your feelings – your nervousness, your hesitation, your hopes, your fears, your love, your clarity about limits. It helps to write it down first, or rehearse it with someone. Here’s an example. You would alter it to suit you of course. I’ve written it as if a monologue, but it would be broken up to allow the other person to speak. <br />
<br />
“Hi Mom, I’ve been trying to decide what to do about Christmas and this is hard for me to talk about. I’m a bit worried I don’t have the right words, so please be patient with me here. (deep breath). The last thing I want to do is upset you, and I know that you might have to get used to what’s happening with me. I’ve changed so much and not always comfortable being around family. . . I’m sure you went through a lot of growing up changes when you were my age too. . . . I hope you can understand. . . anyway I do want to see you guys and I want to have a nice time. I love you. I know you want to see me. . . I won’t be staying for a full week like usual; it’ll just be three days. . . I just need a bit of time for myself this year. . . yes, I can hear that you are disappointed, and I’m sorry about that. . . I do want to make the time we have together the best we can, and I have some suggestions about that. We always enjoy hikes in the woods so lets remember to do that, ok? And here’s something important - I’d like to keep our conversations to what we are doing in our regular lives, and of course chat about what we are doing together in the moment, like making your famous pecan pie, which I want to learn, by the way. I’d like to stay away from religion for now since I’m sorting that out for myself and I’m not comfortable discussing it. I know that this isn’t easy for you but I’m hoping you can accept it so that I can feel relaxed. . . I certainly don’t want to be avoiding you or avoiding a visit on Christmas. I just have to be honest, you know? Also, I won’t be going to church on Christmas Eve. But I’d love to babysit the grandkids and play games with them while you are out. Do you have any more ideas? Anything you’d like me to bring?” <br />
<br />
Naturally, you would be pausing to listen to let the other party speak and respond with empathy. That is, gently and with understanding rephrase what you have heard so they know that you are listening. At the end of the call, it’s okay to ask them to repeat back to you what you have said, e.g. “Could you do something for me before we finish? This is important to me and I’ll be much more relaxed if I feel sure I’ve communicated well. Could you please repeat back to me what you think I’m asking so I can know if I’ve been clear?” And of course, “Thank-you, I appreciate it,” etc. <br />
<br />
<i>Writing exercise: Write out what you want to say to your family when you discuss your holiday plans.</i><br />
<br />
<b>Support</b><br />
<br />
<i>Have a buddy</i>. While you prepare for this visit, talk it over with someone who understands. This may be a fellow “reclaimer” or just a good friend. They can help by role-playing your phone conversation with family and also be there to listen to just your side of the conversation. This helps you to see yourself in part through their eyes rather than just through the eyes of the person on the other end of the call. <br />
<br />
During your family visit as well, it’s a good idea to arrange to have someone available to you to talk and get support. At a time of stress, you might well benefit from calling this friend.<br />
<br />
<i>Back-up plan</i>. If you know that the visit might not go well, and you might have to leave in order to take care of yourself, plan ahead for what you will do. Set up a clear plan for where you will go and what pleasant activities you have in mind. <br />
<br />
<i>Writing exercise: Describe what you will do instead if your family visit ends early.</i><br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;"><b>During the Visit</b></div><br />
<b>Maintain intention</b> <br />
<br />
Bring along your journal and have your written intention handy to reread to remind yourself. You will probably need this. Most people find it challenging to stay “Adult” when certain situations call for it. Being with religious family is usually one of them. This is not to say your Child cannot play and hopefully there will be opportunity for that. But to stay safe, and feel like you are maintaining who you are now, rereading your intentions will help. You can add to the journaling of course, and you will notice developments. One of them will be to relate to family members with new awareness. You may have some new compassion for a cousin who seem stuck in the faith, for example. Or you may see how your mother obeys your father and represses her own expression. If your intention is “to spend some quality time with close family members and keep connected,” you can concentrate on that and not drift into debates. <br />
<br />
Staying with your intentions may also include repeating yourself to others. What you said at the beginning before coming to the holiday gathering may need restating, to more than one person, and more than one time. If you aren’t afraid to do this, and express yourself with both compassion and assertiveness, your sense of self will begin to feel more self-defined and less vulnerable. <br />
<br />
<b>Step Back</b><br />
<br />
Play anthropologist. Once you have recognized that religion is a huge meme complex that takes on a power of its own, you can view people within that system from that perspective. Other reclaimers I’ve known have found it very useful to visit family and maintain some distance by pretending to have the viewpoint of an anthropologist. This attitude is nonjudgmental, curious, and unemotional. An anthropologist often takes the role of “participant observer” in order to gain access to a group, and learn about their customs. So you can watch everyone bow their heads, close their eyes and speak to an imaginary being, and find that very interesting without freaking out. They might all go off to celebrate the child of this imaginary being who was born thousands of years ago, and has somehow saved them. Fascinating. The songs are also quite amazing in the stories they tell.<br />
<i><br />
</i> <i>Writing exercise: As a social scientist, describe in your journal what you are learning about this culture you are observing. Let yourself enjoy the quirky things you are noticing. </i><br />
<br />
<i>Translate the words</i>. Now sometimes it can get more personal, and that when it’s more challenging. How do you feel when you are asked, “Where are you fellowshipping now?” We forget how arbitrary the Christian symbols and terms are in the vast array of mythological options. How about the Greek gods or Atlantis or Rama and Sita? What about Australian “little people,” Irish leprechauns, and faeries? You can diffuse the heavy loading of Christian language by translating words in your head. When your father asks you, “How’s your walk with the Lord?”, you can hear “How’s your walk with the leprechaun king?” and “When did you go to church last?” translates “When did you last dance with the faeries in the moonlight?” If they read the Bible together, you can see them in a cave poring over ancient leprechaun scriptures. Of course they believe all of it, and you won’t be able to convince them otherwise. More importantly, you don’t need to get scared, or even angry. When you reply, “That’s not really part of my life anymore,” you can do so calmly, as if you just don’t make treks into the forest to see fairies at midnight any longer. <br />
<br />
<i>Writing exercise: Describe what it is like to reinterpret Christian messages and respond accordingly. </i><br />
<br />
<i>It’s not all about you</i>. Much as these relationship issues may hurt, the truth is that it’s not personal. Religion itself causes separation between people, it causes dogmatism, and it makes it very difficult for people to listen, change, or learn. This religion your family has is much bigger than you. So if you do not take it personally, you will be much happier. Try to breathe and bring some equanimity to the situation, knowing that you have done nothing wrong.<br />
<br />
<b>Step Up</b><br />
<i><br />
</i> <i>Stay with your values</i>. Regardless of what is happening, do what you want to do because that is what you have decided. For example, if everyone wants to do more shopping, and you want some fun time with the children, choose that. Reclaim your holiday. Remember why you decided to make the visit. Do what brings you and others joy and meaning. <br />
<i><br />
</i> <i>Connect as humans</i>. That may sound funny but the truth is religious people develop dual personalities. One lives in a “spiritual” world of angels and demons and worries about sin and an afterlife. The other is an ordinary human being like you and me who likes to eat good food, needs love, watches movies, appreciates sunsets, hates traffic jams, and will help rescue a kitten. That person likes compliments, wants to feel needed, etc. There are personality differences, but basic human needs are the same and you can stick to this human level as you relate. In fact, I’ve found that many religious people actually appreciate being treated in a deeply genuine way. Like everyone else, they like to be heard, they want to matter, and they need to have their thoughts and feelings count. So the best way to get along, believe it or not, is to ignore their religion. Simply focus on the human side of life, and if they bring up religious things, bring it back to reality. If that doesn’t work, take a break, and/or repeat your intention like I describe in the beginning.<br />
<i><br />
</i> <i>Let go of approval</i>. A leftover from religious training is to judge absolutely everything. This includes evaluating yourself, and being concerned about what other people think. Yet, you’ll find that it is extremely liberating to do what you consider the right thing to do simply because it fits with your identity and your integrity. We often want others to appreciate us when we do good things. And in this case, if you are working very hard to become the person you really want to be, it would be nice to get acceptance, if not approval. But if you let go of that you can get satisfaction from choosing to act in harmony with your new, self-chosen values regardless of others’ reaction. Then, if your family sees you and understands you, great. If not, you have done a marvelous thing by just being with them and being yourself. It also helps to not take yourself too seriously. Don’t forget to enjoy the lighter side of your connections with others. <br />
<br />
<b>A word of caution and congratulations</b><br />
<br />
Don’t set yourself up to do everything well. You will do some things well and other things will go awry. If all went seamlessly, that would be weird. If you have to leave early, that is fine. Go to Plan B like you planned and enjoy yourself. Take care of your Child above all. <br />
<br />
If there is a family blow-up, so be it. Everything is process. No matter what, you and everyone else will learn. Sometimes intense emotions just have to be expressed. Sometimes family crises just have to happen, just like forest fires are a natural part of a cycle. It’s no one’s fault. It certainly helps to hang on to your sense of humor. No matter what, you are on a journey, and you are growing and healing and reclaiming your life. <br />
<br />
Writing exercise: Don’t miss out on lessons learned. Write about what this was like for you and how you grew from the experience. In addition to the serious bits, include the funny parts.<br />
<br />
Dealing with your family during the holidays is a step in your journey. It takes courage to recover from religion so again, I congratulate you. <br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: x-small;"><i>Marlene Winell, Ph.D. works with people recovering from religious indoctrination. She can be reached through Journey Free at <a href="https://journeyfree.org/">https://journeyfree.org.</a></i></span><br />
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="height: 15px; margin-top: 10px;"><img alt="" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="https://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=77e8a137-08eb-40d1-ba6b-7948b2e53695" style="border: none; float: right;" /></div>Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-59345720591793419202012-12-18T20:21:00.000-05:002012-12-26T03:33:08.894-05:0012 Christmas Traditions Even a Black-hearted Grinch of an Atheist Can Celebrate<i>By Valerie Tarico ~ </i><br />
<br />
<a href="http://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/christmas-solstice-spiral.jpg?w=300" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/christmas-solstice-spiral.jpg?w=300" /></a><span class="dropcap">A</span>fter an autumn of Bible-based gay bashing, and Religious Right candidates with “rape Tourette’s,” and End Times aficionados gunning for Armageddon rather than peace in the Middle East, some nontheists may be finding it a little tough to feel warm and chirpy about the birth of the baby Jesus. As conservative religious leaders like the Catholic Bishops and Southern Baptist <a href="http://www.albertmohler.com/2012/11/07/aftermath-lessons-from-the-2012-election/">Albert Mohler</a> vow to double down against women and gays, the cards start arriving. I’ve got one here that says, “This Christmas, as you consider all the awesome things that have come to you through Jesus, God’s perfect gift, remember that it is but a taste of all the good things that are yet to come.” Really.<br />
<br />
The combination can be a little hard to take. Especially with folks like Pat Robertson on the airwaves leveling the kind of <a href="http://www.rightwingwatch.org/content/robertson-miserable-atheists-trying-steal-christmas">self-fulfilling accusations</a> that could make even a saint feel a tad grinchy: “The nation comes together, we sing Christmas carols, we give gifts to each other. We have lighted trees, and it's just a beautiful thing.” [but] "Atheists don't like our happiness, they don't want you to be happy, they want you to be miserable! They're miserable, so they want you to be miserable! So they want to steal your holiday away from you."<br />
<br />
<a href="http://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/christmas-grinch.jpg?w=300" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="http://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/christmas-grinch.jpg?w=300" width="200" /></a><br />
I’m no saint, so Robertson’s comment does more than make me feel a tad grinchy. It makes me want to be the Grinch himself! The fantasy of slipping into Robertson’s house and piling every festoon into a big sack and sledding them off a cliff is something that could actually rouse my sense of holiday cheer. But eventually I’d wake up to a chorus of Fox whiners whining that the phrase “Happy Holidays” is aggressive and anti-Christian (even though it <a href="http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=holiday">derives from</a> a medieval <i>Christian</i> form of “Happy Holy-days.”) Sigh. What’s a coal-hearted skeptic who wants a little bit of seasonal joy to do?<br />
<br />
Fortunately the need to celebrate life and light at the darkest time of the year is something that long predates Christianity, and many of the yummy and playful customs of the season are rooted in cultures that have merged and morphed and been shared freely for millennia. Here are twelve traditions with ancient roots. If they have been adopted and adapted by those who choose this time of year to celebrate the birth of Christianity and so the birth of some of Christendom’s darker angels, don’t let that put you off. They can just as easily be adopted and adapted by those who have moved beyond belief.<br />
<br />
<b>1: Celebrating the End of December. </b><br />
<br />
<a href="http://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/christmas-winter-solstice.jpg?w=300" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="126" src="http://awaypoint.files.wordpress.com/2012/12/christmas-winter-solstice.jpg?w=300" width="200" /></a>All across the Northern Hemisphere our ancestors marked the winter <a href="http://www.guardian.co.uk/science/2011/dec/21/when-is-winter-solstice">solstice</a> with <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Midwinter">festivals</a> that acknowledge the cycle of life: death and birth, darkness and light. For cold, lean people it may have seemed like the sun might never reappear. Yet, a few days after solstice the days began to visibly lengthen, promising another spring. Persephone would return from Hades; King Winter would be beaten! <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Norse_paganism">Pagan Scandinavia</a> celebrated <a href="http://pacificsearvi.wordpress.com/2012/12/04/ancient-origins-of-yule/comment-page-1/">Yule</a>, the great turning of the wheel of life. The Roman Pope Julius 1 chose December 25 to honor the birthday of Jesus because it already hosted two related festivals of birth: <i>natalis solis invicti</i> (“birth of the unconquered sun”), and the birthday of Mithras, the “Sun of Righteousness.” Today, mid-winter celebrations in the month of December include the Buddhist Bodhi Day (December 8); Hannukah (December 8); Solstice itself, which has <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_winter_festivals#December">many names</a>; Hindu Pancha Ganapati (December 21-25); <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Festivus">Festivus</a> (December 23), Kwanzaa (December 26-January 1), New Years Eve, and of course, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hogmanay">Hogmanay</a>.<br />
<br />
<b>2: Candles & Lights </b><br />
<br />
<div style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY8Vd4sYRWaz-18nA2fzKrKXxCwGE46uy3nzwjcQlRKwfp6DFlZuQufS8ynZz2yxNpYzj_2eVNAb_ABpz1yev9DMBfhPqxk0XPNMoiyPvxNKpuFmzAi04NZ8hd4bNE2780T7mlhy6qKTc/s1600/christmas-candles.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhY8Vd4sYRWaz-18nA2fzKrKXxCwGE46uy3nzwjcQlRKwfp6DFlZuQufS8ynZz2yxNpYzj_2eVNAb_ABpz1yev9DMBfhPqxk0XPNMoiyPvxNKpuFmzAi04NZ8hd4bNE2780T7mlhy6qKTc/s200/christmas-candles.gif" width="180" /></a></div>
Since ancient times, man-made lights have symbolized the light of the sun and the promise of brighter days to come. We are <a href="http://www.religioustolerance.org/xmas_tree.htm">told</a> that pagan Romans decorated living trees with fragments of metal and images of the fertility god Bacchus. Twelve candles on a tree honored the sun god. The <a href="http://www.religioustolerance.org/xmas_tree.htm">writings</a> of one early Church father, Tertullian, discuss early Christians who imitated their neighbors by decorating their homes with candles and laurel at the turn of the year. In the North of Europe, Germanic people honored Woden by tying candles to evergreen branches, along with fruit. The Jewish festival of <a href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/50131862">Hanukkah</a>, a time of remembering, is centered on the menorah and is also called the Festival of Lights.</div>
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim1yOuKC4F7VReHC3Mv0Yr9a1xXQQ5O5VTUsQaXmtJiU6ENKmrpibp0_USg9idoiwfdW7Rmo7zzW-WN5QJmdmPT2i89xzxiEpNHrOAaNlfqDAFpvVjHNSbZGAAL7XdRT_ws10ShpD015U/s1600/christmas-pinecones.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEim1yOuKC4F7VReHC3Mv0Yr9a1xXQQ5O5VTUsQaXmtJiU6ENKmrpibp0_USg9idoiwfdW7Rmo7zzW-WN5QJmdmPT2i89xzxiEpNHrOAaNlfqDAFpvVjHNSbZGAAL7XdRT_ws10ShpD015U/s200/christmas-pinecones.jpg" width="200" /></a><b>3: Trees<br />
<br />
</b>For many Pagan peoples of Europe, evergreen trees were symbols of enduring life. Their branches had the power to fend off evil spirits. Druids held ceremonies while gathered around sacred trees. Cutting entire trees and bringing them indoors may have been too destructive, but we know that Pagans brought in evergreen boughs. Because trees are so strongly associated with Pagan celebrations some Christians have opposed them being a part of Christmas festivities. The first record of a decorated Christmas tree dates to 1521, in Germany. At the time, a prominent Lutheran minister <a href="http://www.religioustolerance.org/xmas_tree.htm)">protested</a>: "Better that they should look to the true tree of life, Christ." But the appeal of evergreen branches indoors is so universal that it has since been adopted through much of Christianity and into some homes for the celebration of the Jewish Hanukkah.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP6semoPu8drUwmwG0iDfu72t4zFhLCFrjt7QseUCTIx4zR5uJyYuDZYpS418KHQT3U9BRyp9KorYvOGmmdChvYK89H3CybjEysA6OVM7Ke9wzPw5LuUunBA8pz0DnRcylVXvIZqcFmE4/s1600/christmas-holly-ivy-wreath1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="196" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgP6semoPu8drUwmwG0iDfu72t4zFhLCFrjt7QseUCTIx4zR5uJyYuDZYpS418KHQT3U9BRyp9KorYvOGmmdChvYK89H3CybjEysA6OVM7Ke9wzPw5LuUunBA8pz0DnRcylVXvIZqcFmE4/s200/christmas-holly-ivy-wreath1.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<b>4: Wreaths<br />
<br />
</b>In Scandinavia, the <a href="http://suite101.com/article/how-to-make-a-christmas-wreath-create-a-real-holly-wreath-a315849">traditional Yule wreath</a> <a href="http://suite101.com/article/the-pagan-origins-of-christmas-decorations-a178426">symbolized</a> the “Wheel of the Year,” which was also honored around the calendar with festivals marking winter and summer solstice and each equinoxes. Some ancient groups <a href="http://suite101.com/article/the-winter-solstice-wicca-and-pagan-festival-a133046">believed</a> that the great wheel stopped turning at the point of the winter solstice and so it was taboo to turn a butter churn or wheel on the shortest day of the year. For <a href="http://www.seiyaku.com/customs/crosses/wreath.html">Germanic people</a>, wreaths decorated with small candles encouraged the return of spring: the circle of the wreath representing the seasons, and the candles representing warmth from the sun. When made of holly and ivy, a wreath was thought to provide protection to any household where it hung on the door.<br />
<br />
<b>5: Santa</b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEczDc6QnFKbIylnLrZczBBm7lSxcg4agZ7ypAYKCSmkl4s0rnN0sQHuQ4BUCvQhXEff2gVIkMpcRdfQeFHEk9kV12Jas-3jAEkLhRtTvlcsqvJ8SxcSvDEJmbDpWAUn7LH71mTH1mhGU/s1600/christmas-sinterklaas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="126" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEczDc6QnFKbIylnLrZczBBm7lSxcg4agZ7ypAYKCSmkl4s0rnN0sQHuQ4BUCvQhXEff2gVIkMpcRdfQeFHEk9kV12Jas-3jAEkLhRtTvlcsqvJ8SxcSvDEJmbDpWAUn7LH71mTH1mhGU/s200/christmas-sinterklaas.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
Given his ethnic roots, Santa Claus should be a symbol of multi-culturalism! His familiar form and story have been shaped most recently by 19<sup>th</sup> Century American and European media and marketers including the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa%27s_workshop">Bon Marche</a> Department Store in Liverpool, <a href="http://disney.wikia.com/wiki/Santa_Claus">Disney Studios</a>, and <a href="http://www.coca-colacompany.com/stories/coke-lore-santa-claus">Coca-Cola</a>. They in turn drew on Scandinavian images of elves with red tunics and pointed hats, with sleighs and reindeer. Before that, the Italian/Greek/Spanish/Turkish story of St. Nicholas and the Germanic god Odin appear to have merged to create the Dutch figure, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sinterklaas">Sinterklaas</a>, who rides through the sky on a white horse. His mischievous black-faced helpers listen at the chimneys to help him figure out whether children have been bad or good.<br />
<br />
<b>6: Mistletoe</b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip5Waauqq4uNBRSw0I7pvJYHvwfiPxT_69Qv8v4jxoiTFR7eHQIC1ZfttAp0R7BA_FoJ34rdxQKlQUTyzhOwdjIHQIhk5yPQXIBHV6tklJYBQfxkUfhKaXNPPvzwld9LPtKzq1ZLHBUhw/s1600/christmas-mistletoe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEip5Waauqq4uNBRSw0I7pvJYHvwfiPxT_69Qv8v4jxoiTFR7eHQIC1ZfttAp0R7BA_FoJ34rdxQKlQUTyzhOwdjIHQIhk5yPQXIBHV6tklJYBQfxkUfhKaXNPPvzwld9LPtKzq1ZLHBUhw/s200/christmas-mistletoe.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
The <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mistletoe#Culture.2C_folklore.2C_and_mythology">magical status</a> of Mistletoe goes so far back that it is lost in the mist of history. It played a role in Greek mythology and was likely the Golden Bough in the story of Aeneas. Across pagan Europe it was seen as a sacred symbol of male vitality and fertility. In <a href="http://pacificsearvi.wordpress.com/2012/12/04/ancient-origins-of-yule/comment-page-1/">one Norse story</a> the goddess Frigga extracts a promise from each element and plant that it will not harm her son Balder, the god of the summer sun. But she overlooks the mistletoe, which lives not on the earth nor in the sky, but in between, in the arms of oak trees. The evil god Loki makes an arrow tip out of Mistletoe and gives it to Hoder, the blind god of winter, who kills Balder. For three days the other gods try in vain to restore him to life. Finally Frigga succeeds. Some versions of the story say that her tears turn into the mistletoe’s white berries and that afterwards Frigga kisses anyone who passes beneath a branch on which mistletoe grows.<br />
<br />
<b>7: Holly </b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid4vvQgwkhlx4Jek9qCUGBBNeLW3F6cFPJr7KyIH4AHMvi7PLafchXs-Sz7aFQsDpI_WQYOz1AM1887NzvR2i8_JoZZj-WlPkYGSOrLrlSYNauHTqekRSTQ7g4dZpaNPI6aM_r_7SVAYM/s1600/christmas-holly.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="168" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEid4vvQgwkhlx4Jek9qCUGBBNeLW3F6cFPJr7KyIH4AHMvi7PLafchXs-Sz7aFQsDpI_WQYOz1AM1887NzvR2i8_JoZZj-WlPkYGSOrLrlSYNauHTqekRSTQ7g4dZpaNPI6aM_r_7SVAYM/s200/christmas-holly.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
As Christianity spread across Europe, the red berries and spiny leaves of the holly plant became spiritual symbols representing the red blood of Jesus and his crown of thorns. But as with many other holiday favorites, Holly already had special meaning for local people. The familiar Christmas carol, “<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Holly_and_the_Ivy">The Holly and the Ivy</a>” contains vestiges of <a href="http://www.treesforlife.org.uk/forest/mythfolk/holly.html">Celtic tradition</a> in which a males and females were dressed in Holly and Ivy leaves and enacted a dance or ritual <a href="http://landscaping.about.com/od/holidayplants1/a/holly_and_ivy_2.htm">representing</a> male and female energy. In the mythology of the British Isles, the Holly King was said to rule over the waning half of the year, from the summer solstice to the winter solstice, whereupon he fought with the Oak King, who ruled the season of planting and growth. In fact, the Holly King may be the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sir_Gawain_and_the_Green_Knight">Green Knight</a> who Sir Gawain rose to fight at King Arthur’s Christmas feast.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBwU71hkdGuaH9ulFbPAZdItfO0Zj45wy8SGgb4NW0kSq30Ug50Zaop3WFI3oICqUrVfeSIgFRbgjxfghxsAlnKRIn-HSTEcvGql6UVw9RRgFuNqMIaxLlf8qV8PT5CvS3R2QwcjxniT8/s1600/christmas-offering.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBwU71hkdGuaH9ulFbPAZdItfO0Zj45wy8SGgb4NW0kSq30Ug50Zaop3WFI3oICqUrVfeSIgFRbgjxfghxsAlnKRIn-HSTEcvGql6UVw9RRgFuNqMIaxLlf8qV8PT5CvS3R2QwcjxniT8/s200/christmas-offering.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<b>8: Feasting!<br />
<br />
</b>The Roman feast of <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Saturnalia">Saturnalia</a> lasted from December 17 through the 23. Picture a week-long progressive party in which normal roles are relaxed or reversed. At various times and places, white togas were replaced with colorful Greek garments, slaves dined with or before masters, and debauchery was widespread. But most of all, people ate. They ate at public banquets and private parties. Slaves ate foods normally reserved for the wealthy, and everyone ate well. Saturnalia recreated a mythical past in which bounty was the norm and all were free to indulge. The festival was popular enough that it <a href="http://www.origin-of-christmas.com/">may well have shaped</a> early Christmas celebrations.<br />
<br />
But the reality is that happy humans feast together in virtually every culture and religion on the planet, and feasting is a part of many mid-winter traditions. In some cultures food was offered to the gods to help ease the winter or bring back the sun. But few ancient people could afford to waste large quantities of meat once it had been consecrated, so it was roasted and eaten, with appropriate ritual, storytelling, song and dance. The Saami people of Finland sacrificed white female reindeer for their solstice celebration. Eastern Slavs celebrated the Feast of the winter mother goddess Rozhnitsa, at which deer shaped cookies were given as gifts and offerings to the goddess included honey bread and cheese . In Iran, families and friends gather for a solstice celebration called Shabe Chelleh, where traditional foods include dried fruits and nuts. Meat and ale were staples of the Germanic Yule feast.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfMPCnaOGOFqu7EDUhuOqD4StzAkg2MOCkienMfTbbaz-UNujfeC0XHPXuLqFETkFdyy46mN4-t5YkcVLYaEO1hnIyp63vRJ51lVEo0cksxh0yB-K6DLMmI5cvaILfkganlVX6_tq5_-k/s1600/christmas-mulled-wine.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfMPCnaOGOFqu7EDUhuOqD4StzAkg2MOCkienMfTbbaz-UNujfeC0XHPXuLqFETkFdyy46mN4-t5YkcVLYaEO1hnIyp63vRJ51lVEo0cksxh0yB-K6DLMmI5cvaILfkganlVX6_tq5_-k/s200/christmas-mulled-wine.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<b>9: Mulled Wine & Cider</b><b><br />
<br />
</b>Some folks lament that wine is wasted by heating, but hot spiced wine and cider are long-standing staples of winter feasts. Traditional spices include cinnamon, mace, ginger, cloves, and orange, along with fortifications like black currant syrup and gin. Spiced wine dates back at least to the 1500s, when a version called “Hippocras” (named after Hippocrates) was sold to help heal muscle injuries. By early 1600, King Gustav I of Sweden was drinking a version of mulled wine he called “glodgad vin” known today simply as “glögg,” which means “to glow.” English villagers drank mulled cider while they went caroling or <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wassailing#The_Orchard-Visiting_Wassail">wassailing</a> the apple orchards, where they banged together pots and pans to drive out evil spirits and then poured offerings of cider over tree roots.<br />
<br />
<b>10: Gift Giving</b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtGliv7WUH5xQyEaik1KFU5FW3xsz_-gZZahAB_-VizUrMQGaZIze8XgxIqzfuU9CK7H6Qu-D-oPF072j0wnohFu-SpHdsynQYNcv64V6JQynZdoOdoWKZuy9xMBj2iFd7aoA8O5FQ3pU/s1600/christmas-gift.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgtGliv7WUH5xQyEaik1KFU5FW3xsz_-gZZahAB_-VizUrMQGaZIze8XgxIqzfuU9CK7H6Qu-D-oPF072j0wnohFu-SpHdsynQYNcv64V6JQynZdoOdoWKZuy9xMBj2iFd7aoA8O5FQ3pU/s200/christmas-gift.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
The tradition of giving gifts at this time of year may owe some to the Roman god Saturn, patron of agriculture and plenty, and to his festival Saturnalia. For agricultural people, mid-winter can be a time of scarcity, and gift-giving during Saturnalia redistributed bounty from those who had excess to those who had little. Like feasting, though, giving gifts during celebrations is a tradition that has <a href="http://www.tes.co.uk/teaching-resource/The-Anthropology-of-Gift-Giving-6290627/">roots in many cultures</a>, and perhaps even in biology. Our urge to give gifts is one that <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marcel_Mauss">fascinates</a> anthropologists, and one that many of us tackle with something between enthusiasm and exasperation. Whatever the roots, and however mixed we ourselves may feel, holiday merchants find the tradition a source of pure seasonal joy.<br />
<br />
<b>11: Hearth Fires</b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU6iTwT38bZzpP4K1VacpPpFxkoS7qpk0xNp3L6D5znWzBFnXu39F0-0Klb7-IIGIl9IKXASJTYvhpVF6Rhyphenhyphenv2tSa-k3XJ7gRJizZXs5AQgFS6jV3qsUH49XBxOgZGfaMzJujuI2H911E/s1600/christmas-hearth-fire.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="133" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhU6iTwT38bZzpP4K1VacpPpFxkoS7qpk0xNp3L6D5znWzBFnXu39F0-0Klb7-IIGIl9IKXASJTYvhpVF6Rhyphenhyphenv2tSa-k3XJ7gRJizZXs5AQgFS6jV3qsUH49XBxOgZGfaMzJujuI2H911E/s200/christmas-hearth-fire.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
Nothing says holiday cheer like an image of friends and family around a sparkling fireplace. The tradition of choosing a particularly hard, large log to burn, called the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yule_log">Yule log</a> is a long-enduring English tradition that was adopted from the Germanic peoples of the Continent. British clergyman Robert Herrick wrote in the mid 17<sup>th</sup> Century that the young men who carried the log into the farmhouse were rewarded with free beer. With big enough fireplaces and dead trees and beer kegs this tradition alone might be enough to cheer some folks all the way through to the New Year. <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWZCVJxIlVx4-o9Adpavz05AjWuLqKXxeSQ4HLY5jgxbt0J6EAnpQiaNK_ztfiddP8PjIN45amUOldR1RspkCkgt_eWM0aZ_UmS-KHWok8FRqsLJFC9497qFbi_kkeLNMgP-Vaa1DNS_M/s1600/christmas-a-partridge-in-a-pear-tree.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="140" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWZCVJxIlVx4-o9Adpavz05AjWuLqKXxeSQ4HLY5jgxbt0J6EAnpQiaNK_ztfiddP8PjIN45amUOldR1RspkCkgt_eWM0aZ_UmS-KHWok8FRqsLJFC9497qFbi_kkeLNMgP-Vaa1DNS_M/s200/christmas-a-partridge-in-a-pear-tree.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<b>Last But Not Least, The Number Twelve<br />
<br />
</b><a href="http://suite101.com/article/the-twelve-days-of-christmas-a76269#ixzz2ELDZ3F2x">Twelve days of Christmas</a><a href="http://articles.exchristian.net/2008/12/ancient-mythic-origins-of-christmas.html">ancient star worship</a>! The number twelve has special significance in Judaism and Christianity. There are the twelve tribes of Israel, and the twelve disciples, and the 12,000 times 12 who, according to the book of Revelation, will make it into Heaven. Does that mean that those who have moved beyond belief should shun the number twelve? Absolutely not! Even the mythic significance of the number twelve has older roots, probably in the same that brought us the twelve signs of the zodiac and twelve months of the year and <a href="http://articles.exchristian.net/2008/12/ancient-mythic-origins-of-christmas.html">some parts of the Christmas story itself</a>. Don’t forget the twelve feats of Hercules or the twelve Olympians. And perhaps you didn’t know about the twelve sons of Odin?<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggSfpb9CNMuaUszgz86LXlD8tAOC_YxFGyBvZG_JudVIAH9m024Tx8RLnrQJRLQGlfHb9_rZ13jfXOH1DJg0CiDNMX1l1vRLH0b1Ox0lfMzNiKv_gXpjdd2RUEPU9WNutcL1NupAAdG88/s1600/christmas-lights.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEggSfpb9CNMuaUszgz86LXlD8tAOC_YxFGyBvZG_JudVIAH9m024Tx8RLnrQJRLQGlfHb9_rZ13jfXOH1DJg0CiDNMX1l1vRLH0b1Ox0lfMzNiKv_gXpjdd2RUEPU9WNutcL1NupAAdG88/s1600/christmas-lights.jpg" /></a>For as long as history has been recorded, and probably much longer, human culture has been a work in progress. We beg and borrow and mix and match. We live on the creative edge of chaos. Adopt Solstice as your holiday of choice, or Festivus, if you like. Or create your own tradition. But don’t be afraid to claim the Christmas customs that are dear to you, and then shape them as fits, and then hand them down, newly polished, to your children. That is part of what it means to be human. Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-74913689707034956222012-12-11T05:15:00.001-05:002015-06-06T10:25:35.119-04:00The Most Miserable Time of the Year<i>By Klym ~ </i><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Jp4IycstJZ6yZYryQt7WbtmiFbA-3tIdZrrDXxYznkyzvpL61TplUS5DK_eZDhQ-WGSID-AgdpzH_E_CtHiv_tNu62rrm8K1rAclGKHcodzom-6pyRifJzgtMJJrKZo6jfOqx7rcreA/s1600/povertychildren.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi1Jp4IycstJZ6yZYryQt7WbtmiFbA-3tIdZrrDXxYznkyzvpL61TplUS5DK_eZDhQ-WGSID-AgdpzH_E_CtHiv_tNu62rrm8K1rAclGKHcodzom-6pyRifJzgtMJJrKZo6jfOqx7rcreA/s320/povertychildren.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span class="dropcap">W</span>hile I like Andy William's classic song, which I perverted for the title of this article, I always dread this time of year for many reasons. For one, I can't get through a day here in the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bible_Belt" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Bible Belt">Bible belt</a> without hearing someone talk about God and how wonderful he is during the other eleven months of the year! But in December, it's like a full blown epidemic of having to be exposed to all kinds of crap in the name of Christianity. Everywhere I look and everywhere I go, I have to steel myself against this cultural phenomenon of greed in the name of Bible God. How did a pagan tradition turn into a celebration of the birth of Jesus anyway? It's cognitive dissonance of the worst kind. I wish somehow I could vaccinate myself against this onslaught of forced gaiety and joy in the name of a god that most of the rest of the world never even heard of. Aren't they the lucky ones?<br />
<br />
Also, my mother killed herself in December right before Christmas twenty years ago. Yep, she decided, in her neurochemically unbalanced mind, that she would rather shoot herself in the head with a gun than suffer through another Christmas without the love of her life--my dad---who had dropped dead the year before on her 73rd birthday---of a heart attack. While I have suffered bouts of depression myself, I've never had suicidal thoughts. But, I can certainly understand why so many people kill themselves during the holidays.<br />
<br />
Yesterday my best friend and I went shopping and she lamented to me that she is just not in the "mood" for Christmas and feels sad for no real reason. I told her that I've hated <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Xmas" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Xmas">Xmas</a> for years, as she already knew, and that the expectations that our culture puts on us at this time of year are blown way out of proportion. Nobody can live up to the hype--so why even try? She knows that I'm an ex-christian while she's still a christian, albeit an extremely liberal one, or else how could she be my friend, right? In years past, she encouraged me to let go of the grief that I feel at this time of year---she told me that Xmas is a time for new beginnings, and that my mom would want me to be happy. I told her that my mother, of all people, would most understand why Xmas is so hard for me. My friend finally gave up on trying to get me to celebrate Xmas. I don't buy gifts, I rarely decorate, and my husband and I take a mini-vacation every year around Dec. 25th. It's what works for me, and I don't give a rat's patooty what other people think about my way of getting through the holidays.<br />
<br />
Christmas will never be the same for me---how could it be? Let's get real. At the time of my mom's death, some well-meaning Xtian friends told me that mama is now with the angels. Mmmm, I thought, the same angels who watched her put a gun to her head and allowed her to kill herself?? Picture this: Her guardian angel takes a break---goes outside to smoke a cigarette, perhaps--comes back, and OOPS--my mama done finished herself off. Wonder how that report to god went? Bet that angel didn't earn her wings that day! Hence, the final nail in the coffin of my lifelong precarious belief in a supernatural deity who cares about us. If he existed, couldn't he have just let mama die quietly and non-violently in her sleep?<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-siDDmkynEaD5eHfcIvjvgefZIqSAUF0RmBz_YvTEgEwCn0_eoDyN4g2Cw98d2a5LVb9LuyTtgylKTnQUnd9DwDKIQ9YOSYs9xhZf0JzVq1J0EeulOcXhDL9gMS9mEnjMMsNIjHxY3A4/s1600/CHILD-POVERTY1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi-siDDmkynEaD5eHfcIvjvgefZIqSAUF0RmBz_YvTEgEwCn0_eoDyN4g2Cw98d2a5LVb9LuyTtgylKTnQUnd9DwDKIQ9YOSYs9xhZf0JzVq1J0EeulOcXhDL9gMS9mEnjMMsNIjHxY3A4/s1600/CHILD-POVERTY1.jpg" /></a>As regulars here at ExC know, I'm a school counselor, so I have the privilege of helping children navigate these days before Xmas. Most of my students live at or below the poverty level. What is joyous about Christmas for them? Many of them go to bed hungry every night---will Jesus or Santa "fix" that for them? That's highly unlikely. I have come to dislike Santa almost as much as I dislike Christianity---why give kids <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hope" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Hope">false hope</a> once a year that their wishes for a better life will come true? Is is not better to give them the life skills and education needed to lift themselves out of their present circumstances? To once and for all end the cycle of <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Poverty_in_the_United_States" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Poverty in the United States">poverty in America</a>? I think that's better than giving them false hope in a mythical Santa or an afterlife with Jesus. Let's do something NOW, for Santa's/God's sake, instead of teaching them that poor Baby Jesus died so they could have eternal life!<br />
<br />
<span class="pullquote">What is joyous about Christmas for them? Many of them go to bed hungry every night---will Jesus or Santa "fix" that for them? That's highly unlikely. I have come to dislike Santa almost as much as I dislike Christianity---why give kids false hope once a year that their wishes for a better life will come true?</span>Wouldn't it be better to make it a year round cultural phenomenon to feed the hungry, clothe the poor, shelter the homeless, and accept the outcast in the name of HUMANITY instead of the name of a man who thought he was god and is most likely a myth? And who also said, "The poor will always be with us." Oh, yes, I know "churches" claim they do this all year---and some really good ones do--but they do so conditionally. Believe in my saviour, and I will help you....reminds me of a homeless man I saw years ago on TV news. He said he liked getting free meals at the church, but that he felt like he got them "under DOO-RESS"---duress, he meant. But he pronounced it DOO'RESS'...accent equally on both syllables...I feel ya, bruthuh!<br />
<br />
So, please spare me the sermons, lights, and decorations, and let's get busy doing something year round that will make a positive difference in the world. Don't cram Merry Christmas down the world's throat once a year and claim that Jesus will bring peace on earth someday.... If he exists and he has the power to do that, what's he waiting for? I, for one, can't wait till December 26th to recover from the madness of this most miserable time of the year.<br />
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="height: 15px; margin-top: 10px;">
<img alt="" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=9e6d3a2e-5d3d-44a8-90a2-cd49e1de6cf4" style="border: none; float: right;" /></div>
Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-58886952647177986122012-12-08T22:22:00.001-05:002012-12-13T06:32:36.822-05:00White Wine in the Sun<i>By <a href="http://www.timminchin.com/" target="_blank">Tim Minchin ~ </a></i><br />
<br />
<i>I really like Christmas</i><br />
<i>It's sentimental, I know, but I just really like it</i><br />
<i>I am hardly religious</i><br />
<i>I'd rather break bread with Dawkins than Desmond Tutu, to be honest</i><br />
<i><br />
</i><table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container zemanta-img" style="float: right; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><div class="zemanta-img"><div class="zemanta-img"><a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Tim_Minchin_piano.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: clear:right;"><img alt="English: Tim Minchin" border="0" class="zemanta-img-inserted" height="126" src="http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/8/87/Tim_Minchin_piano.jpg/300px-Tim_Minchin_piano.jpg" style="border: medium none; font-size: 0.8em;" width="200" /></a></div></div></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption zemanta-img-attribution" style="text-align: center; width: 300px;">English: Tim Minchin (Photo credit: <a href="http://commons.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Tim_Minchin_piano.jpg" target="_blank">Wikipedia</a>)</td></tr>
</tbody></table><i>And yes, I have all of the usual objections</i><br />
<i>To consumerism, the commercialisation of an ancient religion</i><br />
<i>To the westernisation of a dead Palestinian</i><br />
<i>Press-ganged into selling Playstations and beer</i><br />
<i>But I still really like it</i><br />
<i><br />
</i> <i>I'm looking forward to Christmas</i><br />
<i>Though I'm not expecting a visit from Jesus</i><br />
<i><br />
</i> <i>I'll be seeing my dad</i><br />
<i>My brother and sisters, my gran and my mum</i><br />
<i>They'll be drinking white wine in the sun</i><br />
<i>I'll be seeing my dad</i><br />
<i>My brother and sisters, my gran and my mum</i><br />
<i>They'll be drinking white wine in the sun</i><br />
<br />
<div><iframe allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen" frameborder="0" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/fCNvZqpa-7Q" width="560"></iframe><div class="zemanta-pixie" style="height: 15px; margin-top: 10px;"><img alt="" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=1bb484d5-cb48-46d9-ad69-142feaf792ce" style="border: none; float: right;" /></div><i><br />
</i> <i>I don't go in for ancient wisdom</i><br />
<i>I don't believe just 'cos ideas are tenacious it means they are worthy</i><br />
<i>I get freaked out by churches</i><br />
<i>Some of the hymns that they sing have nice chords but the lyrics are dodgy</i><br />
<i><br />
</i> <i>And yes I have all of the usual objections</i><br />
<i>To the miseducation of children who, in tax-exempt institutions,</i><br />
<i>Are taught to externalise blame</i><br />
<i>And to feel ashamed and to judge things as plain right and wrong</i><br />
<i>But I quite like the songs</i><br />
<i>[ Lyrics from: http://www.lyricsmode.com/lyrics/t/tim_minchin/white_wine_in_the_sun.html ]</i><br />
<i>I'm not expecting big presents</i><br />
<i>The old combination of socks, jocks and chocolate is just fine by me</i><br />
<i><br />
</i> <i>Cos I'll be seeing my dad</i><br />
<i>My brother and sisters, my gran and my mum</i><br />
<i>They'll be drinking white wine in the sun</i><br />
<i>I'll be seeing my dad</i><br />
<i>My brother and sisters, my gran and my mum</i><br />
<i>They'll be drinking white wine in the sun</i><br />
<i><br />
</i> <i>And you, my baby girl</i><br />
<i>My jetlagged infant daughter</i><br />
<i>You'll be handed round the room</i><br />
<i>Like a puppy at a primary school</i><br />
<i>And you won't understand</i><br />
<i>But you will learn someday</i><br />
<i>That wherever you are and whatever you face</i><br />
<i>These are the people who'll make you feel safe in this world</i><br />
<i>My sweet blue-eyed girl</i><br />
<i><br />
</i> <i>And if, my baby girl</i><br />
<i>When you're twenty-one or thirty-one</i><br />
<i>And Christmas comes around</i><br />
<i>And you find yourself nine thousand miles from home</i><br />
<i>You'll know what ever comes</i><br />
<i>Your brother and sisters and me and your Mum</i><br />
<i>Will be waiting for you in the sun</i><br />
<i>Whenever you come</i><br />
<i>Your brothers and sisters, your aunts and your uncles</i><br />
<i>Your grandparents, cousins and me and your mum</i><br />
<i>We'll be waiting for you in the sun</i><br />
<i>Drinking white wine in the sun</i><br />
<i>Darling, when Christmas comes</i><br />
<i>We'll be waiting for you in the sun</i><br />
<i>Drinking white wine in the sun</i><br />
<i>Waiting for you in the sun</i><br />
<i>Waiting for you...</i><br />
<i>Waiting...</i><br />
<i><br />
</i> <i>I really like Christmas</i><br />
<i>It's sentimental, I know...</i><br />
<i><br />
</i> <i><br />
</i> <i><b>Timothy David "Tim" Minchin</b><sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-midname_2-0"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Minchin#cite_note-midname-2"></a></sup> (born 7 October 1975) <sup class="reference" id="cite_ref-born_1-1"><a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Minchin#cite_note-born-1"></a></sup> is an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Australia" title="Australia">Australian</a>-<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/United_Kingdom" title="United Kingdom">British</a> <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Comedian" title="Comedian">comedian</a>, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Actor" title="Actor">actor</a>, and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Musician" title="Musician">musician</a>.</i><br />
<i><br />
</i> <br />
<i>Tim Minchin is best known for his <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Musical_comedy" title="Musical comedy">musical comedy</a>, which has featured in six CDs, three DVDs and a number of live comedy shows which he has performed internationally. He has also appeared on television in Australia, Britain and the United States. After growing up in <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perth%2C_Western_Australia" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Perth, Western Australia">Perth, Western Australia</a>, he attended the <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/University_of_Western_Australia" title="University of Western Australia">University of Western Australia</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Western_Australian_Academy_of_Performing_Arts" title="Western Australian Academy of Performing Arts">WAAPA</a> before moving to <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melbourne" title="Melbourne">Melbourne</a> in 2002. His breakout show, "Dark Side", launched him into the public eye, achieving critical success at the 2005 <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melbourne_International_Comedy_Festival" title="Melbourne International Comedy Festival">Melbourne International Comedy Festival</a> and the <a class="mw-redirect" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2005_Edinburgh_Festival_Fringe" title="2005 Edinburgh Festival Fringe">2005 Edinburgh Festival Fringe.</a></i><br />
<i><br />
</i> <i>Wikipedia: <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Minchin">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Minchin</a></i></div>Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1266985040290242663.post-16220056169616836012012-12-05T07:08:00.000-05:002015-06-06T10:25:34.911-04:00I Really Like Christmas<i>By Aspieguy (formally known as Danimal) ~ </i><br />
<br />
<span class="dropcap">I</span> like Christmas.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikqR2MP8ZZlyCqb24rrM6XT0oj6ZdKDxL2s38laVkFQLbZa7MnRV4GrmQo6mOMcawKgHPKrwG-_6IIQGyypCGpRKB_n0I8_x7J8coh9JmgSvGarSz4jBrtaDmEId6H7b0NufKdow4Pa3E/s1600/familyxmas.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="128" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikqR2MP8ZZlyCqb24rrM6XT0oj6ZdKDxL2s38laVkFQLbZa7MnRV4GrmQo6mOMcawKgHPKrwG-_6IIQGyypCGpRKB_n0I8_x7J8coh9JmgSvGarSz4jBrtaDmEId6H7b0NufKdow4Pa3E/s320/familyxmas.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
I enjoy everything about it: Christmas trees, gaudy outdoor displays, Christmas carols, and kids waiting to see <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Santa Claus">Santa</a>. I have good memories of past Christmases such as going to see Santa in his little, Santa house at Market Square. The annual Christmas parade was fun. All the floats,marching bands, and even the Purdue Marching Band were in the parade. Christmas was a time to see all my extended family and eat intemperate amounts of food.<br />
<br />
When my children were small, they were up at 5:00 a.m. ready to open presents. Dad (me) was sleepily operating the video camera. The living room was littered with wrapping paper, boxes and all the gifts. Who can forget all the Christmas specials on TV such as Charlie Brown Christmas or Rudolf? Yes, even we serious Aspies enjoy the holidays.<br />
<br />
What our Christmases didn't include was church. Yes, I knew the story about the mild <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Child_Jesus" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Child Jesus">baby Jesus</a> who never cried and whose birth was witnessed by a zoo. It was a cute story but so was Santa.<br />
<br />
However, the nativity story itself reveals the historical errors in the bible. There was never an empire wide census. What man takes his very pregnant girlfriend on a 60 mile donkey ride? And in winter? Please. Quirinius was never governor at that time. Wise men following stars? Wise men giving a baby gold and rare spices? I would rather have had a <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hot_Wheels" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Hot Wheels">Hot Wheels</a> racing set. The fact is that the cute <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nativity_of_Jesus" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Nativity of Jesus">Nativity story</a> is just mythology. No reasonable person could possibly believe it.<br />
<br />
I really don't care if a store clerk says Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. Apparently the <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Family_Association" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="American Family Association">American Family Association</a> does. They have issued their "Naughty and Nice List". Naughty stores say "Happy Holidays" and Christians should never shop there. Even <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chick-fil-A" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="Chick-fil-A">Chik-Fil-A</a> made the naughty list. So who are the grinches of Christmas, christians or atheists. It's the christians who aren't much fun during the holidays.<br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNzHepzXNVUUQ4wuspC08lwncRTkLqxMdmZEw6upzene_uoj70jrYB49CK1o-Xm3U-gHHv_1ltOml1GfNKqjlCVKIoMoXfa7XBPxX-Rtscg3NfTegWI0bjUiQ1YwJ_UtuBa7pCfOARERk/s1600/christmas-couple2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjNzHepzXNVUUQ4wuspC08lwncRTkLqxMdmZEw6upzene_uoj70jrYB49CK1o-Xm3U-gHHv_1ltOml1GfNKqjlCVKIoMoXfa7XBPxX-Rtscg3NfTegWI0bjUiQ1YwJ_UtuBa7pCfOARERk/s200/christmas-couple2.jpg" width="200" /></a>So, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy your Christmas. Lavishly decorate your tree. Buy your kids that Xbox or Wii. Put two shots of rum in your eggnog instead of one. Learn to make a figgy pudding. Spoil your grandchildren. Watch <a class="zem_slink" href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/It%27s_a_Wonderful_Life" rel="wikipedia" target="_blank" title="It's a Wonderful Life">It's a Wonderful Life</a>. Buy gifts for those kids whose parents are too poor to by them gifts. Hell, make a bowl of wassail. Take your kids to see Santa and take lots of pictures. You don't have to believe in gods in order to have a good holiday. Forget the advent candles, midnight Christmas services, and trying to remember that "Jesus is the reason for the season".<br />
<br />
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all.<br />
<div class="zemanta-pixie" style="height: 15px; margin-top: 10px;">
<img alt="" class="zemanta-pixie-img" src="http://img.zemanta.com/pixy.gif?x-id=03d72afc-9e13-4e99-9121-b5e414b1c674" style="border: none; float: right;" /></div>
Dave Van Allenhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08288914445803411893noreply@blogger.com0