Deadbeat Dad

By Paub ~

Deadbeat! That's what comes to mind when I remember the countless times that I've knelt down to pray to my once everlasting father. See.., my father was powerful, he was so damn powerful that it confuses the mind. He was also amazing, his greatness was beyond compare. How about his knowledge? - it was unsearchable.

The problem is that his knowledge was waaaay to high which is not really applicable to my situation. His power was soooo intense, in fact I've never really experienced it because I might perish if he uses it. He was sooo amazing that he turns everything that life throws at me (even bad ones like being unemployed) into something for my benefit.

Yet when I asked, it was not given.... when I fearfully asked, it still was not given. Why would the most powerful being, someone, who could create the world from "ex nihilo" not give me what I asked? Compared to sacrificing "his one and only son for us", what I asked of him would truly be trivial.

• Why claim generous when you can't give?
• Why claim greatness when there are no results?
• Why claim wisdom, when you can't even lead?

You claimed to be a great light? -- Yet, there I was, groping in darkness!

Now it remains... at least now I understand.

Before I fix others, I should fix myself first.

• I am the one responsible for my life.
• I am the one who should forge my own path.
• I should be my own light.

Reality is Truth!

Sorry for all those wasted years.