3/19/2013 | Share this article: View CommentsBy Aspieguy ~
Christians do so many things that simply annoy and irritate me. Some of these things they do irritate me because of my Aspergers. I won't say this is a top ten list. I'll stop when I exhaust my examples.
- They are never quiet. They talk continuously and are noticeably uncomfortable with silence.
- They touch and hug you without permission. Strangers touching me is freaky
- They sing songs about things they don't ever do. For example, they never "dance for Jesus" or "lift holy hands". Because the majority of people masturbate, I wonder how holy the hands are.
- They lie. They claim to love everyone but really don't. Some employ sarcasm. I don't recognize sarcasm because I take it literally. I consider sarcasm a form of lying.
- The men act like women. Some cry when speaking before the church. They are truly in touch with their feminine side. I'm not.
- The men engage in womanly small talk and talk constantly. My idea of a good time is fishing with another man and rarely engaging in conversation other than fish.
- They close their eyes and lift hands during praise and worship songs. I suppose they look really spiritual.
- They judge others harshly and deny they do it.
- They treat the bible like a cafeteria.
- They react to Christianity emotionally, never intellectually.
- They constantly employ logical fallacies.
- They confuse prayer with actions. Prayers have accomplished nothing.
- They are generally boring. Few people actually interest me. I have no interest in team sports, celebrities, and small talk.
- They assume you agree with their doctrines and opinions. If you don't, you get a lecture.
- They think earth is not their home. Home is an invisible place in which they have never been.
- They are thoroughly pissed at atheists, Muslims, gays, and liberals. So much for love.
- They can't listen to alternative explanations of biblical events.
- Pastors tell stupid jokes, irrelevant stories, or show dull godtube videos. I would rather have extensive dental work than watch Rob Bell's Nooma videos.
- They have cliques. No explanation needed.
- They insist that you subscribe to "biblical marriage". I was held to this standard by a serial adulterer.
- They are happy to take your money but still treat you like shit.
- So many pastors view pornography on church computers. Church secretaries embezzle money, and youth pastors molest the youth.
- I never tell people whenever I do something good for other people. They tell everyone. If you engage in some good work, say volunteer at a food pantry, they call that a "ministry". I don't know what that means.
- They insist that you listen to only christian radio stations. K-love makes me want slam my fingers in a door.
- They insist you read only boring, christian books.
- They think praise and worship music should be your favorite genre. Ewww. My favorites are jazz, big band, swing, Sinatra, classical, Carmina Burana, indie, Foster the People. I even like the High School Musical soundtrack.
- They don't pay any property taxes on church property. Many communities desperately need tax income.
- They are secretive about church finances.
- They instantly forget members who stop attending services. I never received a single phone call or email when I quit church.
- They are ritualistic regardless of what kind of services they have.
- Pastors are generally useless. They compose boring sermons and do hospital visits. I don't like visitors when I am in hospital. Visit me at home when I'm feeling better.
A few years ago I underwent a hernia repair. It was a simple procedure, and I went home afterwards. I never told anyone let alone ask for prayers. I had church people angry with me because I didn't ask for prayer and refused to be put on the prayer chain. Well, hell. I had an good anesthesiologist, great surgeon, and excellent nurses. What more could could I want?
Aren't the Christians so silly?
I wiggle my ears for your comments.