12/05/2012 | Share this article:By Aspieguy (formally known as Danimal) ~
I like Christmas.
I enjoy everything about it: Christmas trees, gaudy outdoor displays, Christmas carols, and kids waiting to see Santa. I have good memories of past Christmases such as going to see Santa in his little, Santa house at Market Square. The annual Christmas parade was fun. All the floats,marching bands, and even the Purdue Marching Band were in the parade. Christmas was a time to see all my extended family and eat intemperate amounts of food.
When my children were small, they were up at 5:00 a.m. ready to open presents. Dad (me) was sleepily operating the video camera. The living room was littered with wrapping paper, boxes and all the gifts. Who can forget all the Christmas specials on TV such as Charlie Brown Christmas or Rudolf? Yes, even we serious Aspies enjoy the holidays.
What our Christmases didn't include was church. Yes, I knew the story about the mild baby Jesus who never cried and whose birth was witnessed by a zoo. It was a cute story but so was Santa.
However, the nativity story itself reveals the historical errors in the bible. There was never an empire wide census. What man takes his very pregnant girlfriend on a 60 mile donkey ride? And in winter? Please. Quirinius was never governor at that time. Wise men following stars? Wise men giving a baby gold and rare spices? I would rather have had a Hot Wheels racing set. The fact is that the cute Nativity story is just mythology. No reasonable person could possibly believe it.
I really don't care if a store clerk says Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays. Apparently the American Family Association does. They have issued their "Naughty and Nice List". Naughty stores say "Happy Holidays" and Christians should never shop there. Even Chik-Fil-A made the naughty list. So who are the grinches of Christmas, christians or atheists. It's the christians who aren't much fun during the holidays.
So, ladies and gentlemen, enjoy your Christmas. Lavishly decorate your tree. Buy your kids that Xbox or Wii. Put two shots of rum in your eggnog instead of one. Learn to make a figgy pudding. Spoil your grandchildren. Watch It's a Wonderful Life. Buy gifts for those kids whose parents are too poor to by them gifts. Hell, make a bowl of wassail. Take your kids to see Santa and take lots of pictures. You don't have to believe in gods in order to have a good holiday. Forget the advent candles, midnight Christmas services, and trying to remember that "Jesus is the reason for the season".
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you all.