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Logs on fire

By Forsythia ~

When I was a Christian, church was my home. Not my second home, it was the first one. I gave up everything I liked. Movie, theater, dance, music, friends, fun. Church became the only purpose of my life. I made new friends, we did some music, yes that was good! And yes we had some fun, too. But it wasn't important at all. The Christian fellowship, the deep interest in the others needs, that was the big deal. We were there to carry the others burdens, to pray, counsel, assure, love.

And this is what I heard so often: you can't live your Christian life on your own. You need God and you need the others. You are like logs on fire. You take one out of the fireplace, and it wouldn't keep burning for long.

So I spent almost all my time in church. Monday Alpha Courses. Tuesday Bible study. Wednesday choir rehearsal. Thursday youth group. Friday prayer meeting. Oops. Saturday free. Sunday... you know.

I also read lots of books. Christian books. You need them to understand your faith better. Your non Christian neighbors need them to see the truth. You read the book first and you think: wow, this is awesome! This story must go right to the heart of the unbelievers! Well it usually doesn't. But it does go right to the heart of the believers.

Most Christians think they preach the Gospel because the Bible tells them so. Because they love the dying world! They do it for their beloved Lord Jesus Christ! Damn! No in fact they don't.

They do it for one reason. They need to reassure themselves about their own faith. They need to read the Bible over and over and over again. They need to pray for each other. They need to gather and listen to the same stories over and over again. For the same reason.

The fire wouldn't keep burning, if they don't. Now what kind of faith this is? It's ridiculous. If Christian conversion were a real experience of starting a new life with a real God, if Jesus really was the only Truth, Way, and Life, if the surrounding world was really dying... and Christians the only alive, it would just work in real life. The problem is it doesn't.

So if they start to tell you they are sorry for you losing your faith, they are going to pray for you, or that you go straight to hell... that's not about you at all. That's about their own strong need to reassure themselves about their own faith. Sad, isn't it?


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