1/15/2012 | Share this article:By DealDoctor ~
Leaving behind a childhood and teenage viewpoint on religion. Religion is a fact of life on this world and everyone religious or not encounters it just like they do McDonald's hamburger stores on almost every corner of life. Life is full of religious shit and we as ExChristians must deal with it like it or not because it is just there. We need to be grown up about it. Perhaps Albert Einstein and Carl Sagan, two people most of us ExChristians who respect reason and science admire can give us a balanced "grown up" view of religion from the perspective of reason and humanism. They certainly were not Christians.
Grown ups are rare. It seems that children are in total dependence upon their parents and they all but worship the big parents as "gods". It is so very bad when someone grows up with awful parents because so much of what they learn is wrong because their parents who are teaching them about reality are screwed up too. Some people never are able to move out from under the shadow of their parents and become little carbon copies of them when they are older throughout their own "adult" life. This is sad because it is as if they never grow up to become their own persons and only became poor copies of their screwed up parents who once again pass along the tradition of ignorance. It even seems to get worse like the old copy machines that ran copies but each copy made was just a little worse than the one right before it.
There are some people who decide they want to grow up and no longer be like little children. They decide to be different from their parents and the war of the teenager with their parents begins. It has its own kind of Declaration of Independence. At this point the parents look more like the Devil to the teenager than like the god they nce saw as a child a few years before. It is as if the teenager must still be connected to their parents or there will be no war of independence for them to fight and be the winning hero. Now it is if they are wedded to their parents in a game of war rather than a game of follow the leader. There is no true independence yet. The teenager is not really grown up and from a grown up perspective able to see some good and some bad in their parents who were always far from perfect but not quite otherworldly demons either but just flesh and blood human beings. Whereas the child saw only good in the parents as supernatural gods the teenager is often just as unbalanced and sees only evil in their parents like a supernatural devil.
It should be clear by now that both the child and the teenager are not grown up. They are both equally attached psychologically to their parent but from opposite sides. One sees the parent from the front and the other from the back and neither has a well rounded view of an adult perspective. The parent's brother or sister, their uncle or aunt, will usually see both some good and some bad in their sibling because they are two independent equals but the little child or teenager of the very same person who is their parent not their sibling will all but have an absolute , black and white, view of their parent as all good or all bad. What's new. That's life.
When someone really does grow up and become an adult and they look at their own parents they are able to have a more balanced view.seeing the good and the bad, the angelic and the demonic, the smart and the dumb in their own parents. Hey, they might even have become a parent themselves by this point. Forgiveness and compassion become an option at this point. The war is over and real independence has been won. America and England can life in the same world without always sending armies to kill one another's citizens. they are however totally sovereign states by this point, grown ups.
The stupid religious shit some parents or other authority figures can dump on someone can scar them emotionally for life if they remain in a childish or teenager mindset about it. Most do and it does. A dumb mean person can abuse someone and they can be traumatized for life. Others who are equally traumatized outgrow the real pain, scars and trauma of their abusers and go on to live lives of joy. That is not easy. It really does requires going beyond a stupid childlike embrace of obedience to or reactive guilt. It requires us to outgrow a constant teenage like argument and battle with the now obvious stupidity of Christianity. Enraged teenagers are usually not very happy and they game they play of always fighting with their parents is not as much fun as growing up and having real independence. Happiness only comes to those who leave childhood dominated by religious indoctrination and their teens dominated by war with religion, become fully independent adults who know what they do believe and it makes them happy even if there are stupid religious people on every corner. They can find peace. They know themselves what they do believe their own perspectives to be important and they act on their own values. They feel good. They are authentic adults. Kids and teenagers only seem to be playing one game or another with their parents. ExChristians really do need to move on beyond Christianity. They need to be more than the ex kids or ex teenagers of the Church. They need to be free, grown, independent and happy. The church, like bad parents will still be in the same world. Fact.
Albert Einstein had a view of "religion" and the dude was fully grown up. Carl Sagan had a view of "religion" and he was grown up too. Their view was not Christian, it was not war with Christian. it was awesome and it inspires. It will not leave you feeling like an abused child or an enraged teenager. It may make you feel like a grown up in an awesome grown up world. Watch these videos on Einstein's and Sagan's "religion" . It might be yours as well. Is there a religionless religion? WTF!
Scientist Carl Sagan's Larger Perspective