By Moving On ~
I first came across this site a couple years ago when I typed into Google the words, "I'm trying not to kill myself". I submitted my first letter under the name still bleeding, because that described so well how I felt.
At that time, I was still trying to salvage my faith. Now I can safely say that I am happily free from it, and I wanted to thank each one of you who have helped along the way. I had no idea that there were so many ex-christians. I believed, as I was supposed to, that no one could truly be a believer and just walk away. Now when people say that to me I just shake my head and feel a huge amount of sadness for their blindness.
I've heard so many speculations about why I walked away from "god". Most think I was just angry. Some think I wanted to be free to sin. I think most actually think that I still really believe and am just in a rebellious state at the moment. Whatever. You know all the arguments.
Here, I found people who understand that walking away from your whole life is not something that is easy to do, nor is it something that is done without a great deal of thought, questioning, and pain. It's sad to me how shallow my friends and family must have thought me to be in the first place if they thought I would divorce myself from everything I was before simply out of anger or a desire to sin. That's been kind of a disappointment, but very eye-opening.
Anyway, I don't want to ramble too much. I just wanted to say thank you, SO MUCH, for being yourselves, for being honest, for helping others understand, for educating, for defending, and so much more. You are all amazing! I have been unable to visit the site for a long time due to school and two jobs and no home computer. I at least have a computer now, so I pop in when I can. And I still love it. :)
At that time, I was still trying to salvage my faith. Now I can safely say that I am happily free from it, and I wanted to thank each one of you who have helped along the way. I had no idea that there were so many ex-christians. I believed, as I was supposed to, that no one could truly be a believer and just walk away. Now when people say that to me I just shake my head and feel a huge amount of sadness for their blindness.
I've heard so many speculations about why I walked away from "god". Most think I was just angry. Some think I wanted to be free to sin. I think most actually think that I still really believe and am just in a rebellious state at the moment. Whatever. You know all the arguments.
Here, I found people who understand that walking away from your whole life is not something that is easy to do, nor is it something that is done without a great deal of thought, questioning, and pain. It's sad to me how shallow my friends and family must have thought me to be in the first place if they thought I would divorce myself from everything I was before simply out of anger or a desire to sin. That's been kind of a disappointment, but very eye-opening.
Anyway, I don't want to ramble too much. I just wanted to say thank you, SO MUCH, for being yourselves, for being honest, for helping others understand, for educating, for defending, and so much more. You are all amazing! I have been unable to visit the site for a long time due to school and two jobs and no home computer. I at least have a computer now, so I pop in when I can. And I still love it. :)
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