8/09/2011 | Share this article: View CommentsBy BethM ~
It's been one of those nights where we had some friends over and ended up in deep conversation after a few drinks. When the conversation turned to religion (not the best topic when drinking), I took that as my excuse to go piddle around with something in the kitchen for a while. So, I go into the kitchen and a few minutes later, I hear worship music blaring through my speakers in the living room where my husband and our friends are having what has now turned into a small worship service in my home. They are all crying, and talking about how we are all sinners and destined for hell. We're all going to hell, because we all drink and because they have tattoos and because we all just continue to sin every freaking day of our lives. All this is happening while all but myself and one other person are, as some say in the South, "drunker than Cooter Brown".
I just couldn't go in there. It was really quite ridiculous. I could hear everything they were saying, but I didn't dare go in and participate in the conversation at that time. After things calmed down a bit, I went back into the living room. I didn't want to be rude.
I'm usually not a confrontational person, but for some reason I just felt compelled to join the conversation. I don't feel that I asked things in a hateful way, I just wanted to know what they thought and what they had to say. I've talked about my doubts with one of the people sitting there and I wanted to know his thoughts on the questions I had asked, and if any of them had ever asked those questions themselves. This person in particular has had many of the same doubts I've had and I know this because he told me.
I started throwing out some difficult questions and got the expected "well, that's just another one of those things, we just don't know", or " nobody can answer those questions for you", and "you just need to pray about it".
I asked them if they thought belief was a choice. They all said yes, that it was a choice that a person makes, whether or not to believe. I asked them if nothing happened outside of god's will, then if you went to hell, then wasn't it god's will for that to happen? They all just looked at me like, WTF? At this point, my husband left the room and went to bed. Didn't say a damn thing to me or anyone else. I guess he felt like I was attacking his god, and that is a no-no of course, so he was trying to avoid talking with me about it. (He's good at the avoiding thing) But, I never said anything really negative, I just asked questions and said that things didn't make sense to me.
Why is it ok for them to hold a drunken worship service in my living room, but it's not ok for me to be a part of the conversation if I don't agree or have trouble or have questions about things?
I'm starting to feel really out of place. Maybe I should have just stayed in the kitchen. Seems like my husband prefers me to be in there anyway. End rant.