1/19/2011 | Share this article: View CommentsBy Sergius ~
Hey people, I wanted to write a full testimony on here for two years, but I never brought myself to it as an Atheist, probably it was for a reason. Even now, I am not writing a testimony because things change and enlighten you all the time, so I choose to ask a quick question with some information about me in mind. In reality, I always been and thought of myself as neither Atheist nor Christian, I didn't believe in most of the Bible and found a lot of it boring, I never practiced or accepted most of the Christian belief either, but I was a strong believer since I can remember myself, and kept speaking my mind to God in order to find solutions, just refresh myself, or share something important or gather wisdom, to gain new perspectives or self control.
Two years ago I decided to educate myself as much as I could on religions, atheism and everything surrounding it. That was when I figured, that I must be an atheist and I was strongly so for those two years straight, it seemed comfortable mostly, but I had to ignore too much about my own life and the life of my close Christian people, and about my past experience with what I associated with God, I always believed he works in subtle ways.
Furthermore, still quite recently to me, after one big event and change in my life I cried out to God again something I been suppressing for these years, and all my pent up negative emotions were cleared instantly. As if in reality with hand of God. And then a lot of thoughts came upon me, I started to think really hard about my whole life, and who I truly was or came to be additionally.
So then, I figured there is a God and I can clearly know about this from many things and experiences, and since I admired Jesus and his teachings, plus I inherently lived by the principles of love and self control, I knew that you can always choose love or good if you will enough which I found in Christian Deism as well. So I came upon a thought that Jesus was a man guided by God like many of us are, and that Jesus didn't believe in Old testament God but rather in the true God.
I started thinking, that people always twisted the facts or added their own or destroyed them, hence books like Bible can't be inerrant word of God, and you have to somehow discern all the information and pieces in the world to get a picture which has less flaws and is tangible and comfortable position, one which you have confidence in would never fail, even when you combine theistic and skeptical views. I just figured being a Muslim, Christian, Hindu or Atheist etc. Are all positions of extreme and has their flaws, or something far too absurd, or even crazy you HAVE to believe, live with, reconcile or conform to in order to stay as one of these.
Besides it always hurt faithful and close to me people when i talked to them from atheistic perspective, even when i was being nice or always tried to void such conversations.
After I've read works of Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Paine and others I noticed how my world view fits with them, things like our minds is our own churches are also what I consider true, and that's why as an Atheist it is justifiable to think that God is only in our heads. So, afterwards I came upon this one site, and learned more about Deism and founding fathers of U.S. ( I knew a lil bit about before but never deepened into it, however I always thought that the best theistic position and closest to being true or on the more so right path, was in fact Deism, You stay rational, you keep your spiritual journey, and you scrutinize and seek everything to fit into places, and you can do it all yourself)
This is the site: http://www.christiandeistfellowship.com/
To sum it all up, and get to the main point, after I've read works of Thomas Jefferson, Thomas Paine and others I noticed how my world view fits with them, things like our minds is our own churches are also what I consider true, and that's why as an Atheist it is justifiable to think that God is only in our heads. Finally, after I've read this website and about successful life and family life of the author, I was pretty convinced that if I had to call myself something it would be this position. It was everything I came to so far, plus extra from the experience rich author. And yet of course I see flaws in his thinking and some conclusions. Point is, as people we all are right and mistaken at the same time, always...
So what I ask of you is, what are your thoughts, questions (because I purposely left out all the important information and experiences, because you can ask them separately yourself) on this post, Deism, and more importantly Christian Deism and the information on provided website. Do you find such belief useful? quite reasonable? Conclusions of it probable and compatible? What flaws does it have? and so on.
As former Christians and even more importantly so Atheists like I have been and looked up to, I'm sure you will bring some interesting points which would help us all in our journeys! Thanks in Advance, and remember when you read my post or see/read other people who choose belief in God, don't let that very little but nasty feeling spring in you, its not hate but most of you who have it know what I'm talking about, because seeing people for what they are is important.
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