I guess you could say that since my childhood, I never really got too involved with Christianity's shenanigans that has instead haunted the lives of the majority of children between the ages of 8 and 16, perhaps even in the 20s, 30s, and so on.
Image by v i p e z via FlickrWhen I was a child, I was baptized at the age of two, at a Catholic Church in Brazil. But thankfully, my Mother never really was hooked into the whole religion complex, but still "believed" in Yahweh and Jesus throughout the majority of her life. In a way which I am actually grateful, because of her and my Father (who was Muslim, but claimed to "hate" organized religion too) for not indoctrinating me, my life didn't really turn out to be that bad. I went to school, lived a simple but also fun life, played video games and hung out with friends, and never ONCE even thought of "God". Life as I knew it was going just fine.
Unfortunately, at the young age of 10, I decided to start believing in Christianity because of my two older Brothers (who are MASSIVELY religious to the core, with one of them even being a preacher at his local Pentecostal Church).
Their Protestant beliefs made them take me and my sweet Mother to that pathetic Church, where sadistic cries for help and mercy rolled on throughout the lengthy 2 or 3-hour service. I also remember witnessing many of the Church's attendants, both "saved" and "unsaved", going up to the front (where the preacher gets ready to dictate to his God, with a mediocre worship band playing their mellowed-out songs to get it engraved deep in your brain) when the "service" was already over, offering their money to fund this deceitful cult and crying salty tears for feeling and believing that their lives are completely worthless. I have seen it all happen inside that disgusting Church.
Christianity is a waste of time. There are a plethora of better things out there to do and worry about, such as getting good grades in school, working, spending quality time with family, and so on. As for my personal belief at that time, much like my earlier childhood years, I never really cared that much about these illogical deities; I went there and pretty much did the same thing I did when I was a very small child: play with friends.
Whenever I attended Bible Study, I actually was pretty bored, and often checked my watch or closed my eyes for a few minutes. I remember one of my Brothers telling me that when I totally get into the faith, I won't need a watch anymore. I had nothing to say back at him, in fear of stirring up trouble. And now that I think back, I am GLAD I checked my watch countless times. Why shouldn't I? I mean, Christianity is a waste of time. There are a plethora of better things out there to do and worry about, such as getting good grades in school, working, spending quality time with family, and so on.
So, at the age of 16, I finally decided to come out. I felt like I could never get Jesus to answer my prayers when I called on to him. Or, maybe it was because I just never really felt motivated to pray, because I am a very shy person. And, I figured, why would a loving deity forgive you only through "proper prayer"?
I was certain at the time that Yahweh knew what was going on in my mind, knowing that I truly did care about him, but at the same time, this has stressed me to the point of leaving it all, thanks to a friend who completely turned against religion for its fallacious claims. I am glad. Because according to Christianity, I would be "burning in Hell" for liking heavy metal, with bands like Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Judas Priest, and Venom. I would rather listen to music that has a reasonable message put out against the evils of religion than become a victim of one.
That was when I finally decided on becoming an Agnostic, and clearing my mind off of religious dogma. I then turned 17, and officially came out to my Parents.
My poor deluded Mother, however, was disappointed, actually thinking that I would be burning in "Hell" forever just because I could not get closer to a vengeful God. But, she miraculously tolerated my position, because she loved me first and foremost; religion never was the first thing running on her mind, unlike my two duped Brothers. I will never forget the love and nurture she gave me throughout my young life. I love her to this day, regardless of her beliefs. And for that, I thank her. She was there for me, always. Where was Jesus when I needed him? In my then-feeble imagination.
As of today, I am a 19-year-old College student, confident with my future goals and not giving a rat's ass about Christianity or any other organized cult. However, my spiritual beliefs never went away, and I ultimately became a Deist. I was not satisfied with my short-lived Atheism, and wanted to get closer to my Creator. If God truly does exist, then certainly he is the complete opposite from the nasty, vile tyrant that tormented the poor Jews' lives in that repulsive book.
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